Ladies.
NO.
Just, no. Stop.
More like McNightmare than McDreamy….
Calm it the fuck down. Step away from the mug shot and ‘Like” button. Get off your ass, and go meet some available, real life guy that doesn’t have a rap sheet of carrying weapons illegally and using them on people.
You are embarrassing yourselves right now.
I hate, HATE!, to say this but I am so Team Guys-Who-Complain-About-Women right now.
Have you seen this commercial?
There’s lots of discussion on Youtube,Twitter and other online forums about feminism, political correctness and blah blah blah.
Actually some of the comments are interesting. Like one guy asking when the ‘male version’ would come out. I’d really like to see it. Seriously, no joke.
Anyway, I love it for now. I connect with this commercial on a personal level. I have been called ALL of these names in a negative context, by both men AND women. And even by a few of my haters on this blog.
And I’ve never cared.
One of those names is used as the title for my blog! I enjoy my life, for better or worse. I am who I am and I love it. You don’t like it, you know where the door is, and you can let it hit you on your ass on your way out.
Until next year! I hope everyone has a great holiday! I know I will.
I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!
The summer is now coming to an end and it’s time to get sober get back to business. I spent the summer mostly being lazy relaxing and contemplating the general direction and changes I need to make in my life which should always be done half sober.
Just spent Labor Day weekend partying it up. And I met a guy. Of course.
We said a few hello’s with small talk via text over the weekend.
Then Monday rolled around and he asks me for a picture so he could see my beautiful face whenever he wants.
Naturally.
I hate texting pics to guys. I just don’t even want to get started on that. The first time I did it, I spent 2 hours posing and getting the right picture. Don’t even mention the hair and make-up. So much work! Plus I’m not giving random guys photos of me so they can look at me when I’m long gone and do whatever they want with them even though you can find so many of me on my blog. Especially in my previous post. Also, after the face pic comes more demands. Pics of boobs or legs or in your underwear. Fuck no. You’re gonna have to work a little harder than moving your fingers over your cellphone to see my ass naked.
Instead of showing irritation I tried to be cute.
ME: Is that a clever way of saying that you don’t remember what I look like?
PHOTO DUDE: LMAO. No I just want to see your face that’s all. I remember that priceless smile, those eyebrows, the top that kept falling off your shoulder, that Halle Berry haircut I fell for. : )
No bitches, I have not chopped off all my hair. Hell naw.
ME: This is awkward. I actually have long hair. I wore it in a braid. You called me Pocahontas. And I was wearing a tight black top which fit my shoulders. Ring any bells? KEEP YOUR GIRLS STRAIGHT! LMAO! So you don’t remember me.
smdh
Listen up ladies! Straight from the horses mouth. Sex does NOT equal a relationship to men. And it doesn’t mean he’s dreaming about walking you down the aisle either. Sex=sex. Don’t walk into this trap! You should also read the comments in this post!
Sometimes I like to go on the Yahoo! page just to look at the all the sliding pictures with articles they have on their homepage. You know the ones. Right in the middle.
Anyway, they had this article titled “15 Biggest Beauty Turnoffs From Real Guys”. I was curious. Because all women are gorgeous and hot and cute so what the hell could ever be wrong?
The article itself is kind of nitpicky and dumb. Here it is if you want to check it out yourself:
http://shine.yahoo.com/beauty/15-biggest-beauty-turnoffs-real-guys-150900080.html
FYI, when you look up the words ‘fluff’ and ‘meaningless’ in the dictionary, this article will appear as an example. What I did find interesting was the REAL real guy’s response in the comments section (in bold):
Superficial males? Your kidding right? Thats the ENTIRE female life. Watching what is “IN” fashion, what are the stars wearing, gossip, make-up at all, what will my friends think, etc.. This entire article is fabricated and mostly false. Most guys like simple things, quiet after a long day, sitting on the back porch, or just hanging with a woman who is not uptight, needs him 24/7, shows some independence, does not need constant reinforcement, allows HIM some independence, loves him for what HE is, doesn’t care what others think because SHE is a strong person, etc.. Get it girls. We are pretty simple all in all. There is a reason the boys need to be with the boys from time to time.. TO CLEAR OUR HEADS and relax…
——
“I wish my girlfriend would get a manicure more often instead of doing it herself. She is pretty low-maintenance.” Said no man, ever…
——
Infidelity and stupidity are my biggest turn-offs.
——
Biggest turnon: self-confidence.
Biggest turn-off: insecurity.
That is all.
——
I hate it when my girlfriend smashes my skull, douses me in gasoline, then sets me on fire. Total turnoff…
——
dark roots? admit it dude: unless she goes 6 months between dye jobs, you don’t notice or even realize the roots aren’t supposed to be there.
——
The biggest turn-off is nagging. I can live with (almost) everything else.
——
I think it’s interesting what these ‘helpful articles’ say versus what the commenters say. That is some real mixed messages mindfuck bullshit!
This is why I think you should tell everyone to fuck off and then just be yourself.
What do you think, guys and dolls? Are girls the ones that are superficial and focusing on the wrong things? Do guys just wanna chill and have fun? Or is a bad manicure a real fear and a deal-breaker?
I read an article the other day and it got me thinking. The article explains how some dude thinks women should shut up about wage equality because we’re lazy and want to spend too much time with our kids. I don’t want to talk about this asshole but you can read the article here:
But the article brought up a few points which made me realize why I don’t want to get married.
Wives still do more housework while working full-time then most stay-at-home fathers do???!!!! This has long been an observation of mine. When men get married, they get an assistant, a nurse, a nanny, a maid, a friend, a whore, and a cook. And little-to-no credit for it. Even if you are a stay-at-home mom, it is assumed that all you do is sit at home and watch soap operas while eating brownies all day. Um, soap operas have been getting cancelled, haven’t you heard? BECAUSE WOMEN ARE TOO FUCKING BUSY FOR THAT SHIT! Thanks feminism.
When women get married they get…um… Someone who will listen to every stupid fucking thing they say? Even though men don’t listen. Someone to share their hobbies with that you will eventually give up to be a part of his? Fun. Um, someone to share daily chores with? Keep dreaming. Someone to take care of your bills? Not in this economy, unless you’re a goldigger. Is it the mind blowing sex and intimacy? That last question was a joke. LOL! We all know that dies after marriage for most people.
Oh, is it to let society know that you are lovable and worthy enough to have some dude sit on your couch while you do everyfuckingthing? And by society I mean your parents/friends/ex’s/your ego.
In what universe are women lining up for this shit? Oh yeah, this one. Women are begging for this and men are like ‘meh, I’ll get around to it’. WTF?! Is this the Twilight Zone?! I’m not even a lesbian and I want a fucking wife! If that’s not some brainwashing bullshit, I don’t know what is! Why is it that when I googled pics of a ball and chain, it was mostly pics of men wearing one, with a smiling woman in a wedding dress next to him??? Ha! More like the other way around. This is the ultimate mindfuck if there ever was in the whole dating game!
Because I know marriage is not a magic bullet to happiness, and I didn’t need this webmd article to point it out to me, but here’s a quote I thought was interesting:
Maybe guys are more realistic about what marriage actually entails and that’s why they aren’t in a hurry. Or maybe they’re just afraid of the boring/lack of sex that’s in store for them.
I don’t completely blame men for all of this.
Women are so busy trying to be superwoman and be attached to a man that they forget that they were once a human being who liked to fuck, among other things.
If I have to do EVERYTHING in a relationship, then why am I in the relationship? I’d rather be single and cut out half the bullshit work.
Funny because it’s true.
1.They are honest about their selfishness. If they want a sammich, they will tell us. A blowjob? They won’t keep it a secret. Time and space to themselves? They’ll let us know! Boys night out, undeserved praise, anal, your self-respect, cash, your house, your little sister, etc. The list is endless and they are NOT shy. Whatever they want, they’ll ask for it, and like a genie, we’re expected to deliver. In fact this is 99% of what we’ll hear from them anyway- their requests and needs while never asking about ours unless it’s to use it to their advantage. We know we will have to give, and give, and give, and give…and get little, if anything, in return. But hey, at least we feel needed! Added bonus!
2.They hide their insecurities and blame everyone else for their faults are confident. Their ego’s are so delusionally protective big that they laugh in the face of rejection. This makes them smooth as they have learned that charming us is just enough to hold us over when we figured out they have nothing of value to offer us, or the planet. They know how to say the right thing and when. They have to. They’re jerks. How else will they be able to blind us distract us enough to keep us around and simultaneously at arms length. They literally are using the idea of what we want against us without actually giving it to us. We tell ourselves that one day he will magically deliver what was promised implied and we will live happily ever after. We also assume, since their arrogance confidence is so abundant, that they must be comfortable with their weaknesses or gotten rid of most of them, only to be faced with them in all their pain inflicting ways glory much later down the road when we are far too attached to be completely turned off by them.
3.We appreciate the sweet gestures so much more. Because they are so far and few in between it is a big deal when they actually do something nice and thoughtful like bring us dinner they had leftover from their other bitch or take us on a trip that is for work so you spend most of the time by yourself in the hotel room. Much like giving a puppy a meal after starving it for three days. That puppy is forever grateful for that one meal and is still following you around…like… a puppy.
4.The obvious: low or no self-esteem. We know from the depths of our souls think that no one else wants us, or is willing to pay attention to us. Or we have nothing better to do with ourselves because we don’t have the esteem to do what we really want, so the drama is a great distraction! Which leads to:
5. Never a dull moment. Forget personality or a connection. These guys know those things don’t matter which is why they never let us get close. Because they can keep us on our toes with anxiety excitement. Is he gonna call (ever again)? Will he finally remember my birthday? Will he actually show up to – (insert big, important event or function here)? Will we ever go out on a date in public? Will he finally put me first? They always keep us in suspense. (And in doubt and in self loathing and in depression…)
I’m not moving an inch until he notices I’m upset…which could be days. Hopefully my leg won’t cramp this time.
6.They are really aggressive and we mistake that for intensity and passion for us. They want all our attention when it’s convenient for them. When we try to push them away, they always return. And even though we are deathly afraid of them disappearing on us, curiously enough, they never seem to. They are always there when they have nothing better to do! And we think no one will ever be that into us like this unrelenting guy who treats us like shit.
7.They completely, utterly, whole-heartedly accept us for who we are on their own terms. No need for self-improvement or self-reflection! Because someone out there in the world conditionally loves and accepts us. And that’s better than nothing. (Not really.)
8.Since the dawn of time, women have been told, and have said, that all they want is a man, some chirruns, and a big house for them all. But some women are actually terrified of that shit just like most men are. It means growing up, but worse yet real intimacy WHAT IF YOU MAKE A MISTAKE AND PICK THE WRONG DUDE!!!!! Then you are miserable for eternity or until you can find a good divorce lawyer and be shamed by everyone who went to your big fancy wedding and bought you all those great, expensive, unnecessary things! Since we ourselves are emotionally unavailable and scared, we will date a jerk so that we can ingeniously blame the jerks for our bad luck in relationships, all the while just telling anyone who will listen that we just want to be loved dammit! This way, we can hide the fact that we just don’t want that love and marriage and a real life crap right now or ever. After all, we know what the problem is in our relationship. The jerk! If you date a non-jerk, then you’ll feel bad when you dump him at the side of the road with his heart and a wedding ring fitted just for you. Forget the guilt and bring on the drama filled jerks!
Episode Three. ‘Nice’ turns dating to shit. Welcome to the dark side.
So far, I’ve stated that being nice isn’t being real. Also, it’s not the key ingredient in winning dates or relationships. And now I’m gonna talk about how the dating game is chock full of dishonesty in the name of niceness, and WHY! You already know why, but let’s hop on this magic carpet ride anyway and bring it home.
Dating game dishonesty niceness: Exhibit A
Exhibit B
Exhibit C
Why do we resort to nice instead of keepin it real?
I blame social conditioning. Society (this includes family, media, friends and even dudes we date) has these rules women are supposed to follow to seem like a lady worth dating. We are conditioned to put others before ourselves, and to keep our mouths and legs shut. And to like it that way. This is for ‘protection’ of our virtue. Maybe for-score and 1800 years ago that advice was still bullshit sage but it’s a new world now.
Men can be selfish, go after what they want, and look out for number one. Hell, it’s expected and respected. But when a women does that, she is a bitch (or insert any other ‘negative’ deragoratory term here: Selfish. Whore. Narcissistic, etc.)
Here’s a clip of my favorite character from this masterpiece movie classic, CRUEL INTENTIONS, re-iterating this point.
Women are held up to different standards. Otherwise known as double standards. So next time you men think your woman is acting weird, illogical, or irrational remember this! Because we are not a pet a doll a chair robots, we still have to somehow go after what we want, even when society tells us we shouldn’t want certain things or can’t have them. So we learn to be passive-aggressive. Indirect. And even (subconsciously or consciously) dishonest. (I know gross generalization.) And I’m not just talking about sex. This applies to careers and friendships too!
Men generally learn to lay it out on the table and move on. Meanwhile, we learn to publicly file divorce on your ass while you are out of town working and when you finally arrive to the divorce party all tardy, have a detailed list of terms and demands along with a list of your secrets you don’t want to get out waiting for you neatly on the table. All arranged behind your back of course. Then when men have to interact with women, it’s like ‘shit, there’s a whole new way of doing things going on here that I wasn’t prepared for!’
Niceties, pleassantries, diplomacy never equals intimacy. It’s the kiss of death to real intimacy. The whole point of dating is for love and acceptance of self. And how do we do this? We play games???!!! Nice-ness is a socially conditioned construct. Somewhere along the line, women are told that in order to be loved and accepted we have to be nice and be perfect. Fuck. That. Say what you want about me, but you will know where you stand.
I’m not saying men don’t suffer from this as well in the dating game. They’ve learned to be manipulative passive-aggressive to deal with with these social rules that women are told to play by. Can guys truly be honest that they just want to hit it and quit it? Or that they don’t ever want to marry you? That they are with you because they are too comfortable and insecure to leave? Or because they don’t want to be alone? Or that, yes, your butt does look fat in those particular jeans? No. Hence the games and dishonesty.
Sexy with a side of bitch. You’re welcome. Let the games begin.
End rant.
Blank avatar. Not creepy at all.
I signed up for Myspace.com about a year ago. They allegedly had a makeover and it was not about teens putting half naked pics of themselves online trolling but about entertainment and your favorite celebrities. After creating the account, I forgot about it. A week or so ago I got mad at Facebook, and recently went back to see what it’s all about. And I had a whole bunch of emails and friend requests from dudes. Which pissed me off. Why? Because they were all telling me how hot I was. I usually love that shit, hell I expect it, but I hadn’t put a picture of myself up there. It was a picture of Nicki Minaj. She had on shades but it was a pic from a magazine. With the magazine name on the bottom. BUT SOMEHOW EVERY SINGLE DUDE THOUGHT THAT WAS A PICTURE OF ME. How fuckin dumb are you? How horny are you? Did your other head obliterate all brain cells in your head? Wow.
Nicki Minaj channeling my inner diva on my now extinct Myspace page.
So I accept some friend requests. While browsing the celeb pages on the site, a chat pops up from one of my new friends. I don’t remember the name. L. Bsomething. No pic. He says hi. So I go with it. And what follows is the most debonair, awesome, eloquent meeting of the minds that got me so hot amused and annoyed bothered that I had to delete my Myspace account. Immediately.
Siderant: I tried for 3 hours to get a copy of this chat (so I could post it here verbatim). But I finally learned that Myspace didn’t have a way to pull up past chats since they just updated their chat feature. So this is from memory.
Moksie: Hi.
Lbsomething: You’re hot.
Moksie: I know. But that isn’t a pic of me. It’s Nikki Minaj. From a magazine.
Lbsomething: Why no pic of you?
Moksie: Not sure if I want to be on Myspace yet.
Lbsomething: Where do you live?
Moksie: Where do YOU live?
Lbsomething: Florida.
Moksie: We don’t live in the same state. Even if we did, I wouldn’t be coming over.
Lbsomething: Why not?
Moksie: That’s not how I roll. I don’t need to meet dudes online to get laid.
Lbsomething: How big are your breasts?
Moksie: I can tell you’re a breast man by the friends on your page.
Lbsomething: Yeah.I like breasts. What’s your bra size?
Moksie: What if I told you I was flat?
Lbsomething: That’s okay. You have a nice ass.
Moksie: I didn’t say I was flat. I just wanted to know what you would say if I did. And that picture is still not me.
Lbsomething: I want to fuck you.
Moksie: You wish!
Lbsomething: Come over.
Moksie: I still live in another state.
Lbsomething: I want to stick my dick inside you.
Moksie: I wanna know how big your bank account is.
Lbsomething: It’s really BIG.
Moksie: Like 7 digits big? Or six? I need a digit. Because I’m not a saltines and ramen noodles kind of girl.
Lbsomething: I have a lot of money. GET OVER HERE SO I CAN FUCK YOU.
Moksie: I’m sorry but I don’t fuck losers who troll Myspace for ass. Have fun with your hand and your other friends on Myspace.
He then ended the chat. And un-friended me. And after figuring out that the chat was lost in cyberspace forever, I deleted my myspace account. Because a girl can only take so much sexual harrassment romance and seduction.
SEMI- RELATED POSTS:
Some dudes are offended by the unrealistic stereotypes of men in romantic comedies. And yet…
As you read blog posts on wordpress.com, there is a team of engineers creating a sex robot to replace women. Lemme set this up for you. 9-11 happens. A genius nerd loses his friend. What does he do? What. Does. He. Do. Does he come up with a computer software program to help track down terrorists? Does he volunteer to create a machine that will help clean up New York after the tragedy? Does he even try to come up with a super diet pill that will erase all the calories that you just put in your body by eating a whole bag of cookies? No. He creates a personality program that replicates his friends’ personality. And then I guess he got horny because he decides to combine the software program with a sex doll and viola!- true companion.com, or Roxxxie.
This is why I love men. They know what is important in life. That is why they strive to be great leaders of the world! They know exactly what to do with smarts and responsibility. Make sex and intimacy easier for them!
And don’t tell me that you’re doing this for men who are too ugly and dumb or douchy can’t get laid a girfriend and want to fuck somethin’s brains out intimacy and companionship. Or that you’re doing this to replace all the women in legal whore houses. I see what you’re doing! You are trying to make it easier for dudes to get a ‘girfriend’ without actually having a girlfriend. Well, jokes on you because the robot can’t cook or clean (this came from the engineer’s mouth, not mine. I know what century I’m living in. I also don’t need to create a robot to get laid).
But I know the dudes will really appreciate the personality options. Because women only have five different personalities, so you’ll be covered; Wild Wendy, Frigid Farah (really?), S&M Susan, Maternal Martha and Young. (Young is a personality? Wow, you dudes are deep.) What happened to just goin after girls with low self-esteem and stringin them along with as little attention as you can get away with for sex?
I am way hotter.
Here is why I am not offended or worried. Firstly, women cannot be replaced. Poor dudes. Can’t replace us even if you tried (which you desperately are). It’s steeped in your biology. You know, procreation, spreadin your seed and making the species live on and all that. Ha ha! You can’t live without us!
Secondly, you dudes get bored when you get everythin your way. I can’t count how many of my friends get walked all over and left because they did whatever their man wanted, whenever and however they wanted. And they left them for a bitch. The girls who should be worried are those plastic bitches who ran out and bought themselves some titties and face instead of a personality. (And ‘young’ doesn’t count.) You bitches may be replaced in the future, so ya’ll better start workin on your attitude and stop cutting yourself up to look like those bitches above. (Admittedly, they are not pretty, but I’m sure they will fix that in time). You about to be instinct! You best invest in a hobby cuz the robots may be takin over the (literal!) plastic airhead girlfriend role!
But of course there are the dudes sayin that they would program their robot to talk back at them and argue. You guys really are like hamsters, runnin in a circle. You can’t replace the Moksie! Ha!
Thirdly, instead of torturing real women with your relationship bullshit and fucked up issues, you can just take it to the robot. In fact, I may get one myself for my next boyfriend, and the next time his bullshit comes up, I’ll just direct him to the robot and carry on with my life until I feel like comin back! All the sexist and insecure, lazy men can go shack up with the robots and leave us bitchy crazy real and independent women alone.
No matter how many toys dudes make and wanna play with, they always come crawlin back to us, even though we’ll be havin a ball with our Diet Cokes, Pina Coladas, and prancing at the beach in out bikini’s while talking about beauty tips all day in some girly girl utopia that you dudes won’t be able to resist crashing and fuckin up with your ego and penis. Boooo.
And lastly, how do you know some terrorist isn’t gonna get a hold of that software program and order your robot bitch to kill you in your sleep?
So you weigh in: Is this the evolution of masturbation or relationships? Or is this the beginning of the end?
Robot women, the end of mankind? Or just the end of men?
Read more: The First Talking Sex Robot: A (Terrified) User Review | Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/blog/my-review-of-the-roxxxy-sex-robot/#ixzz1vTb65N00
bossymoksie 