I’m the Marcia F*^! Brady of the Upper East Side and I Want to Kill Myself!

Published July 13, 2012 by bossymoksie
Last rant installment of my epic opus on hating ‘nice’.
Darth vader mask

Episode Three. ‘Nice’ turns dating to shit. Welcome to the dark side.

So far, I’ve stated that being nice isn’t being real. Also, it’s not the key ingredient in winning dates or relationships. And now I’m gonna talk about how the dating game is chock full of dishonesty in the name of niceness, and WHY! You already know why, but let’s hop on this magic carpet ride anyway and bring it home.

Dating game dishonesty niceness: Exhibit A

A guy asks a girl for her phone number but she doesn’t want to give it to him. But to be nice, she does, and just ignores the call later. She lets him save his fragile ego face, at that moment, at her own duress. Why not just be honest and say no? I’ve done that several times and there have been guys who tried to bully or embarrass me that I just didn’t placate them and give it up (smooth move, I really want further contact with you now!). To shut the guy up or not embarrass him, girls will be nice and give her or a fake number.

Exhibit B

Girls fake orgasms in bed. Now there are millions of dudes out there thinking that they’re the shit in bed when they’re really not. It’s an epidemic. And the next girl is gonna fake it too, just to spare his ego feelings. How’s that for nice. (Also, guess who really loses in that scenario?)

Exhibit C

The use of the word ‘fine’. Needs no explanation.

Why do we resort to nice instead of keepin it real?
I blame social conditioning. Society (this includes family, media, friends and even dudes we date) has these rules women are supposed to follow to seem like a lady worth dating. We are conditioned to put others before ourselves, and to keep our mouths and legs shut. And to like it that way. This is for ‘protection’ of our virtue.  Maybe for-score and 1800 years ago that advice was still bullshit sage but it’s a new world now.

Men can be selfish, go after what they want, and look out for number one. Hell, it’s expected and respected. But when a women does that, she is a bitch (or insert any other ‘negative’ deragoratory term here: Selfish. Whore. Narcissistic, etc.)

Here’s a clip of my favorite character  from this masterpiece movie classic, CRUEL INTENTIONS, re-iterating this point.

Transcript for the video challenged: “Eat me, Sebastian! It’s okay for guys like you and Court to f**k everyone. But when I do it, I get dumped for innocent little twits like Cecile. God forbid, I exude confidence and enjoy sex. Do you think I relish the fact that I have to act like Mary Sunshine 24/7 so I can be considered a lady? I’m the Marcia f**king Brady of the Upper East Side, and sometimes I want to kill myself. So there’s your psychoanalysis, Dr. Freud.”

Women are held up to different standards. Otherwise known as double standards. So next time you men think your woman is acting weird, illogical, or irrational remember this! Because we are not a pet a doll a chair robots, we still have to somehow go after what we want, even when society tells us we shouldn’t want certain things or can’t have them. So we learn to be passive-aggressive. Indirect. And even (subconsciously or consciously) dishonest. (I know gross generalization.) And I’m not just talking about sex. This applies to careers and friendships too!

Men generally learn to lay it out on the table and move on. Meanwhile, we learn to publicly file divorce on your ass while you are out of town working and when you finally arrive to the divorce party all tardy, have a detailed list of terms and demands along with a list of your secrets you don’t want to get out waiting for you neatly on the table. All arranged behind your back of course. Then when men have to interact with women, it’s like ‘shit, there’s a whole new way of doing things going on here that I wasn’t prepared for!’

Niceties, pleassantries, diplomacy never equals intimacy. It’s the kiss of death to real intimacy. The whole point of dating is for love and acceptance of self. And how do we do this? We play games???!!! Nice-ness is a socially conditioned construct.  Somewhere along the line, women are told that in order to be loved and accepted we have to be nice and be perfect. Fuck. That. Say what you want about me, but you will know where you stand.

I’m not saying men don’t suffer from this as well in the dating game. They’ve learned to be manipulative passive-aggressive to deal with with these social rules that women are told to play by. Can guys truly be honest that they just want to hit it and quit it? Or that they don’t ever want to marry you? That they are with you because they are too comfortable and insecure to leave? Or because they don’t want to be alone? Or that, yes, your butt does look fat in those particular jeans? No. Hence the games and dishonesty.

Cruel intentions

Sexy with a side of bitch. You’re welcome. Let the games begin.

And if you’re gonna play games, I got some card tricks in my pocket as well.

End rant.

The 2 Prequels to this post:
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18 comments on “I’m the Marcia F*^! Brady of the Upper East Side and I Want to Kill Myself!

  • Really loved this post. Women are conditioned from an early age to “play nice” with others, and I cringe when I see myself doing it. I’ve been told that I have a bitchy and cynical attitude more times than I can count, but there are times when I just get sick of being nice. I am me. Deal with it.

    • Exactly! Just because we are women we have to be smiley and happy all the time! And they dangle the ‘you’ll be alone’ carrot over your head if you wanna be in a bad mood. They can suck it. (and they usually do!)

  • Yes, I like this, it was a nice wrap-up for everything. Although, I think guys don’t apply “passive-aggressive” techniques, but subscribe to “the game,” or become pickup artists. Even if they don’t try to pick up multiple chicks, they try to learn how to pick apart a girl’s defenses and facades, but end up deceiving and acting to achieve it.

    It’s hard to change this, as a society, but I think if a girl adopts your dating philosophy, she will have to get through very little trouble. Guys, on the other hand, will probably still have to deal with “niceness” even if they are straightforward in their approach because of the way society conditions women.

    It’s no one’s fault, I guess…maybe the old moralist hags who preach abstinence after having committed the sin themselves, but they can go fuck themselves 😛

  • Yeah it sucks to date and it sucks to fall in love then have to love back out of love. Not going to go lesbo, won’t be able to stand butches fulltime so guess I just need to get a dog.
    I just realized I am sending this fromm old blog, damn I need to get out of the habit of logging in LOL

    • Yes girl! You need to log outta there and never go back! Honestly I’ve still checked that blog out of habit though.
      Dating wouldn’t suck so much if it wasn’t for all the dishonesty. I just try to have as much fun as possible and don’t take it too seriously unless a good one comes along. Guys always reveal who they really are through their actions and time!

  • For me the game is all about respect and honesty. I don’t lie to women just to sleep with them because you really don’t have to do that. If you are honest about your intentions, women will respect that. You don’t have to be a dick or anything. You can still have that balance and tactfulness.

    • But most guys aren’t like that. They either don’t know that they don’t have to lie or they don’t care. The ‘game’ should be about respect and honesty but I think most people don’t know how to do that AND get what they want.

  • As in New york City! I wish!!! I just moved from California to the middle of nowhere. I am planning my escape to New York though! That’s definitely where I wanna be next! The title is just a quote from the movie in my post.

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