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Why Being Bitch-tacular Is Necessary

Published June 20, 2014 by bossymoksie

Hello my peeps! Just dropping in to say hi and let you know I’m still alive and kicking. I’ve been out summer-ing and enjoying being away from the laptop. (I’m also enjoying making up new words!)

I just wanted to give props to Introverted Playboy and a post he did about women who act bitchy towards men in the dating scene. He made great observations as to why some of us act this way and it is spot on! (He also makes suggestions as to how to deal with it, also spot on).

If you’re too lazy or uninterested to read, it’s basically a defense mechanism. It’s a way to lessen the number of interactions that we give our undivided attention to. And not waste time with guys we don’t like, for whatever reason. If you have multiple dudes approaching you all the time, not just the club, and most of them act entitled, aren’t attractive or interesting to you, or obviously just trying to waste your time to get something they want, you’re not always gonna be in a good mood when you are approached!

Honestly, whenever I notice a guy noticing me, or when a new guy speaks to me even, I am already on the defense. My smiles and friendliness are earned! I have to see that you are cool and not a weirdo first. I could be laughing up a storm and clowning it up with a group of people, male or female, but as soon as a new guy enters my sphere to directly interact with me, the bitch shield goes on stand by.

We can’t be Miss America and be all smiles to everyone all the damn time. It’s really not my job in life to reinforce your attractiveness or worth as a man by coddling you when you step up to me. I’m sorry if that took you a lot of nerve to come over and say hi, which I’ve learned from the blog-o-sphere is a pretty large feat for guys. But it is definitely not my job to affirm every single fucker who has the inclination to approach me and take up some of my time and space unless there is some sort of job out there where I can get paid to do that. If there is, please email me and let me know where I can apply! Don’t take it personal.

P.S.- Sometimes I may be in a bad mood that has nothing to do with you at all. Again, don’t take it personal.

That is all.

Happy Summer-ing!

 

Because They Can

Published May 3, 2014 by bossymoksie

I have a friend that’s doing the whole online dating thing. She was supposed to go out on a date with this guy on the weekend. Two nights before the date, he texts her late at night and asks if she would like to come over. She calls him out on the bootie call invitation, he plays innocent. Then she cancels their date, he gets mad and insults her (something about that’s why he doesn’t date black chicks, which black chicks LOVE to hear), she has a comeback for him, then a racially charged insult-fest ensues.

After texting all her friends a snapshot of the text exchange so we could all have a nice laugh , she lamented why guys still did the text bootie call thing.

Because they can.

Okay. I have to talk about this bootie call thing. Unlike my dear friend, I am not shocked that men fish for this. Guys do it because it works. Some girls will say no. But then there are others who will go for it. Guys are about results. They do what works and then they beat it to death until it doesn’t work anymore. Asking girls to come over late at night works. It just does. Is this the guys fault? Hell no. If no girl ever fell for that BS, guys would stop doing it.

True story.

It’s just logic.

I can’t even be that mad at dudes anymore. In fact I’m annoyed with the girls MORE. Because some lonely, bored desperate chick keeps saying yes telling men everywhere that this is all he needs to do to get laid. Guys do it because they can. And that charmer I mentioned above will likely have some girl up in his house at some point by doing the exact thing he did to my friend. Which was just ask in a text.

Just remember ladies, whenever a guy does something stupid to get into your pants to date you, it’s most likely because some stupid chick let him in the past. It’s our fault. Or he’s a clueless jerk. But 9 times out of 10, it’s the former.

Don’t Give a Bitch Your Credit Card

Published April 25, 2014 by bossymoksie

As I’ve mentioned before, I only like to do my job description and nothing else. If it’s not in my job description when you hire me, or promote me, I’m not doing it. And where there’s a will there’s a way. This is why I’ve never learned how to make coffee. This and because I don’t drink it. And yet, I’ve worked in several offices where people tried to make that part of my job responsibility.

It never ends up being my responsibility because I’m never the first one in the office because I’m always running late, and I’m not even drinking it and IT WASN’T IN MY JOB DESCRIPTION BITCH!

I usually get out of it by saying I don’t drink it and don’t even know how to work a coffee pot. But one job had the audacity to try to teach me. I half paid attention. Then when I had to make the coffee, I almost broke the coffee pot by flooding it. After that, they begged me to never go near it again.

Now for the main story of this post. I once had a data entry position. I was new and working a night shift. One night when I was working by myself, this supervisor FROM ANOTHER DEPARTMENT, comes over to me, and asks me if I could call Pizza Hut to order some pizza for him and his department (10 people or less) since they stayed late and were doing such a great job. I looked at him like he was crazy.

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?

This was my first week working by myself after training. Therefore, I was slow and had work to do. So, no, I was not eager to jump up and do his bidding just to impress a superior or get his approval since I was new. Especially since he wasn’t directly my boss. Furthermore, I am not one of those girls who likes to make sure other grown ass adults are fed, comforted, and taken care of. Because I don’t give a fuck. (And there were a few women that worked there that are like that and would have gladly done this). Don’t get me wrong, I love to win a popularity contest. I love for people to luuuurve me! But on my terms.

I told him that I had work to do and he should just take care of it. He persisted.

He said it would only take 5 minutes, which was complete bullshit. Because it took him 10 minutes to talk me into doing it (and me saying that WHEN my real work isn’t finished, I will tell my boss it was because of this ‘urgent’ task). Then it took him another 5 minutes to show me how to bypass the company’s software so I could get on Google to get Pizza Hut’s phone number. Adding the actual phone call, and the conversation about the stupid pizza before and after it arrived, it was about 30-45 minutes wasted on his bullshit. And I don’t play that. The only bullshit I deal with is my own. He just wanted the little lady to do it. And do it I would. He handed me his credit card and went back to his department. He even said I could have some of that shit. How nice.

I called and they said they had a special. 10 pizza’s for $10 each. I said, sign me up. Sidenote: I’ve actually had jobs where I had to buy coffee or pizza and pick items up. I gladly did it BECAUSE IT WAS IN MY JOB DESCRIPTION.

Anyway, the delivery guy arrived and I pointed him to the direction of the supervisor without even looking up. He went back there and then quickly ran out.

pizza time

You asked for it, you got it. And by ‘it’ I mean a bitch slap.

“ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS!” the supervisor screamed from the other room.

He came over to my desk.

“You ordered a hundred dollars worth of pizza?”

“Yeah, it sounded like a good deal.”

“A hundred dollars. What are we gonna do with all that pizza?”

“Eat it.”

“You must be the only person in the world who doesn’t know how to order pizza! You will never order food for this office again!” and he stomped away.

Bitch please.

The following week, he told people what an idiot I was and tried to make me feel dumb. I just laughed. I didn’t care. But the women would walk up to the supervisor and jokingly ask him for his credit card so they could order food for the office, then laugh, at him. I guess he never handed someone his credit card like that before. All the other supervisors laughed and said I won’t be doing that in my future.

THAT’S WHAT I WANTED! Do you really think my feelings were hurt? MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

As soon as I became proficient at what I was paid to do and was free from doing bullshit favors, I used my extra time Googling bullshit online, reading celeb gossip, checking Facebook, and browsing Amazon. Too bad I still didn’t have his credit card. Those dumb bitches could think whatever they wanted. My ass is only going to do what I want to do. You’re lucky I want to pull my own weight.

It’s not about working for the job, it’s about making the job work for you.

Ask a Bitch!

Published April 2, 2014 by bossymoksie

Just in time for my two year anniversary as a blogger on WordPress! A despairing commenter in need of advice!

In this blog post series, I answer questions about love, dating and tricky relationship situations in my own awesome way (question in bold):

I would like to bring my story that is probably over even if I still have a hope for a miracle.
I met this guy online, I was not as much into him but first date totally changed everything. There was a massive click. We spent 4 amazing hours together. We was real gentlemen. We met up for another date 1,5 week later as we both were very busy and he had his family over.
The second date we went to the gallery and than to winery place, and again the evening was great, the man was willing o pay for everything (the same case with first date) and really treated me like a princess. He was saying : ‘I must show you this, you need to try this, I will cook this etc” At the end of the evening when we were about to leave each other and I asked him ‘if I’m going to see him again’, he said of course but only if I am as well interested, I said yes and than he gave me a glimpse of a kiss and disappeared. I felt amazing.The next day he texted and ask if he can invite me for a dinner and than we could go and watch one of his move (we both love french movies) at his place.

And here it starts, I lost my trust… I started to think that maybe sex is the thing he is after. Anyway I was not planning to go to his place, but after dinner things turned differently, I went. I slept over, amazing night however we didn’t make the sex. The next day he prepared breakfast an and gave me (lunch to work) what I found very sweet. He was very caring and he mention well – next time you come we will do this, that and that… He drop me to bus stop. I got text from him the next day saying that it took him a while to recover after the night but that he doesn’t regret the magic of the moment. I replied kindly and somehow we arranged to see each other the same day in the evening and maybe it was a mistake. He came over to my area, and he lives very far away. We went for a dinner and going in the through dark forest he stopped he started to kiss me. We stayed like that 5minutes and again unplanned we went to mine. He was very caring and he stayed over but as perviously there was intimacy (we were both naked) but no sex involved. He very wanted but we did not do it, he started to ask if he is doing something wrong and I ensured him that he is very sexy and that I’m very attracted to him is just I need a little more time.

The morning was awkward, we did not speak too much. I felt that he doesn’t like me anymore, and he might felt bad after the night. Two days later after speaking with male friend I decided to drop him a line and he called me the same evening, I asked if he didn’t feel good at mine and he said yes, he said he didn’t feel comfortable that time and he said maybe we should date other people. I felt hurt even if I knew something was in the air. I hung up pretty fast so didn’t get to the details. I send one txt straight after and he replied that “there are guys out there that will make me happier than he could do”.

I was very sad. I knew he was going on holiday next couple of days. I did care a lot about him. I drop him a short text saying: surerly having good time?” while he was on holiday but he did not reply. I thought ok I have to leave it. But than talk to my very wise friend and he said out of the store he can assume that the man may have some sexual issues or complex I have no clue about and that thats why he is stepping back, me from the other side I lost confidence because I started to think that that all he wanted was sex. Anyway I was feeling fine and send him a message to let him know that I ad absolutely good time with him and that the bed moments were absolutely amazing and that its a pity it need the way we both don’t feel good about it at the end. He replied saying: “I got conviction we are looking for different things, do you think differently?”… I replied but haven’t heard from him after and it’s been 10 days. End of story. I moved on. Started dating others but is just not the same I just do care about him deeply and would like to get an advice from anyone anyone if there is anything that I could do to get the man back… or I just have to forget and take it as an amazing moments…?

 

I have heard this story too many times. Hell, I’ve lived this story myself once or twice.

Ladies, I think we all have to remember from time to time that men are not complicated like we are. If he wants to be with you, you will not be able to get rid of him. Even after ruining his favorite sports jersey, or cursing out his boss, or pushing his grandmother down the stairs.

If he does not want to be with you, he will simply not be. He will disappear completely or make the occasional cameo into your vagina life. This guy literally said he is looking for something different than you. Case closed. No need to rack your brain over what you did right or wrong, or what is going on in his mind. HE ALREADY TOLD YOU.  He also said he is not capable of making you happy. BELIEVE HIM. And run. Why would you want to get him back? He either can’t, or doesn’t want to, give you what you want. He is literally telling you to look elsewhere. This isn’t a test. This isn’t a challenge. This isn’t a puzzle. It’s literal.

There is something you can do. For you. Remind yourself of what you want in a relationship and focus on that. I don’t know about you, but I like a man who gladly does whatever I tell him to respects my boundaries, makes it all about me appreciates me and wants to, oh I don’t know, stick around. A man can wine, dine and compliment me all he wants. He’ll have my attention. But he’ll get little else until I know his sun, moon and stars revolve around ME. But you decide what you want for you. It seems like you want a guy who is into you enough to continue dating you and is willing to wait until you’re ready to have sex. This is not that guy.

It’s one thing to talk about adventures together, it’s a whole other ballgame to actually HAVE adventures together. That’s the guy you should be swooning over. Actions always speak louder than words. Pay attention to his actions. Right now, his actions are to ignore you. Is that what you want out of a relationship? To be ignored? Didn’t think so.

I don’t think it’s sexual insecurities that made him back away. Based on what you wrote, he was trying to score (and your instincts picked up on this!). Which is why there was a part 2 in that 3rd date. When you said you needed more time, he wasn’t interested in giving it. Whatever his issues are, remember that they are HIS issues, not yours. Don’t dwell on it.

Focus on the guy that will give you what you want. Not on the guy running away from you.

 

If anyone wants my bitchy advice, please ask away in the comments section or email me at bossymoksie@gmail.com. I will answer in a future blog post.

If you don’t want my bitchy advice, you might get it anyway.

Who’s the Boss?

Published March 20, 2014 by bossymoksie

Most of this blog has been dedicated to my dating thoughts and rants.

Let me take this post to rant about my least favorite subject ever: work.

office space missing work meme

Nobody misses work when they are away from it.

I have a similar attitude towards work that I have with dating. It’s about showing people how to treat you and what they should expect from you. Don’t be a doormat in either place, because people will gladly wipe their feet on you. The interview process is not unlike the first few dates of a potential beau. The hope, the excitement and newness of it all, only to be crushed by the cruel reality down the road that this one is just as disappointing and predictable as the previous ones.

This is what I’ve learned. I do not do anything more than what my job description says. Fuck that. This is what we agreed on and I am holding up my end. This is what happens when you try to go above and beyond. It becomes yours permanently! With no additional money, title, or official say in what goes on! That doesn’t bother you? That’s fine, until you realize that all you did was give Mr. Motormouth and Ms. Lazy-shit more time to talk and be fucking lazy. Because you’re doing parts of their jobs that they never got done. So while you’re slaving away, these two morons are just being morons and not doing work. And if you’re still fine with that because you like your job, you like the new put-upon tasks, and you want to impress the bosses to move up the ladder, then good luck with that.

This is what sucks about that. When your unorganized boss fucks up, which is inevitable, and suddenly there’s a big push to get a bunch of crap done in a short period of time, guess who ends up with having to push their life aside to get it done? YOU. The one who took on more than what your job is paying for. Not the unorganized boss, not lazy-shit, or motor mouth. Have fun with that pressure! Without the money or title or a choice. Keep in mind that the person who actually does get a promotion is usually the kiss ass net-worker. Why would they promote you when you’re doing such a great job of doing all the worker bee tasks whatever it is that you’re doing, plus other people’s work, without complaint?

When I get more dumped on me, I make sure that the boss and co-workers know I am doing them a favor, and this is not a regular thing. I make sure they know, whether it’s true or not, that what I have on my plate is all I can handle. They want to add more, they have to take something away. And if you’re not gonna give me more money, you sure as hell better get me a free meal, or a bunch of appreciation! Or both. They usually do! 🙂

And this recession bullshit has not changed my attitude. Now companies like to act like they are the choosy hot chick who have too many choices and can be an abusive bitch about it. We’re supposed to go above and beyond and perform back-flips at will like a desperate puppy in order to have the privilege of doing the job of three people without the title or pay. No thank you.

In fact it has made me less interested in being loyal, invested and respectful to companies. Because now I KNOW you will drop me like a diseased sack of potatoes the second your company needs to fix their bottom line so the CEO’s don’t see a dip in padding their own pockets. It’s just business. I get it. Go ahead and save your asses companies! I definitely will continue to look out for mine!

Many of my friends are being over worked and underpaid for it, companies squeezing every last breath of their time, energy, and talents from them until they want to shoot themselves in the head for sweet release. I’ll pass. I am there for a paycheck: not to kiss ass, stress myself out over bullshit or incompetence, or get anyone’s approval. I’m there to do the job I signed up for. Don’t get it twisted. Because I definitely won’t. And the moment we butt heads with that, is the moment I get another job. Because the only person I truly ever answer to, is myself. I am the one that determine’s my workload, schedule, pay, and hours. And I know where the door is if you can’t give me what I want think is fair….or if I’m bored. Just like dating, I do this on my terms. 

I’m not suggesting that everyone quit and move on, but you definitely should remember that your only real boss is YOU. You are in charge of what you give, placing your talents in the right place and in determining your worth. Act accordingly.

All The Single Ladies!

Published February 13, 2014 by bossymoksie

It’s hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Valentine’s Day returns!

I just wanted to say that contrary to the tired cliche, I actually like being single on Valentine’s Day. Don’t get me wrong, having a date or a boyfriend is great too. But when I’m single, I like to treat Valentine’s Day just like any other holiday or weekend, an excuse to partay!

There’s no expectation and hype about what the guy is gonna do and incessant questions from friends about what I’m doing I mean get your own life!, followed by the mild disappointment when the plans are pretty much like any other awesome date except with flowers. For me, it’s really not that serious, not nearly serious enough to see Valentine’s themed chocolate and balloons in the stores since January. But I guess people need to be given stuff to look forward to, unlike me where any day I don’t have to work is a cause for celebration.

But there is just one hitch that tries to rain on my single Valentine’s party time parade.

Other single ladies.

Because most single ladies choose this day to throw the biggest forever alone pity party, hence perpetrating the cliche forever alone jokes.

happy valentines day

The black hole where the minds of singles go. Don’t take me with you!

I know, I know, everywhere you turn there’s a Valentine’s Day commercial of smiling women getting jewelry and flowers and hugs, from their GQ boyfriends or husbands. Yeah, yeah yeah, everyone else is in a blissful relationship except for you and you’re gonna drown yourself (and your fun loving friend!) in that misery today. You dwell on what you don’t have and what you’re not getting this year. Which you conclude means that you’ll die alone. And that’s all you want to complain about all day. Sober or drunk.

forever alone ben and jerrys

You do know that you have more choices than this.

Stop it. Just stop.

I’m just here to say, it doesn’t have to go down that way. First some perspective. All those commercials and pink and red themed candies and gifts at the store is just to get peoples money. Don’t use their presence to torture yourself. Also, everyone who is in a relationship isn’t in a blissful, happy one. Be grateful that you’re not in a shitty relationship, which would guarantee an even shittier Valentine’s day. Promise.

Celebrate that you are alive and healthy, that you have friends willing to hang out with you today and have some fun that you hopefully won’t ruin with your self pity. There’s always a bright side and I suggest you focus on that. It’ll be better for you. But more importantly, better for me. Please don’t make me wish I was back at work.

happy valentines day

I love spending valentine’s with the person I love most. Me!

valentines day

Who doesn’t love a good sale?

HAPPY VALENTINES’ DAY!

How to Choose Role Models

Published February 11, 2014 by bossymoksie

I’m really sick of people talking about how Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber are supposed to be role models, and should act like it. Did I fall asleep when people voted two children to exemplify all that is right and holy in the world for our other kids to look up to?

Can we pause for a second and realize how dumb this sentiment is? I get it. They are popular. They were introduced to us by entertaining the youth, ergo, have millions of young fans. Fine. But why the fuck are we labeling them as people who should know how life should be lived and a guide for kids? Lemme break this down for you. First of all, Miley is 21. Twenty. One. Please remember this. (Justin is 19!)

miley smokes a joint

Chillax people. I’m 21, not Gandhi.

Before you pass judgement on these two, do you remember what attention whorey stupid shit you were doing at that age? And for those of you who are proud of the purity of your own children, brace yourself for all the attention whorey stupid shit your kids will have in store for you in that age range. It’s a rite of passage.

You know who should be looked up to? Those boring kids who somehow magically skipped that attention whorey stupid shit phase as a teen.

I’ve heard the argument, from both parents and kids, that back when Miley was nine years old or something like that, she said that she wasn’t gonna use sex to be popular, was gonna stick to having good values and wanted to be a good role model. And now you feel betrayed.

kid role model

I’m a kid. And I said the darndest things.

Really? You’re listening to a fucking 9 year old? What was she supposed to say at 9? I can’t wait to be 21 and attention whore with nudity to sell my albums? That was before puberty, Liam Hemsworth, and she probably thought boys and drugs had cooties.
Don’t pretend that puberty and insecurities came along and didn’t fuck up your level headed child self who thought you knew everything in your simple black and white world of Barbie’s or GI Joe’s.
She was probably told to say those things to sell herself and her TV show anyway. That was her angle at the time. She moved on. Which leads me to my next point.
miley cyrus role model

I’m just selling albums ya’ll.

These bitches are celebrities. Their job is to sell their shit music by getting our attention any way they can. Just because they succeeded at getting our attention, doesn’t mean they know shit about life. Ergo, should not be role models of ‘acceptable’ behavior for kids, or anyone. Their job is to entertain, not lead.
Why are celebs generally cast as role models anyway? They are not living life. Not real life like the rest of us. They don’t know shit about the 9 to 5 side eye at you Beyonce for your lyrics in “Ghost”. Normal people don’t have to deal with what celebs deal with and vice versa. They are leading a different kind of life that is intertwined with commerce, so why would we think that their actions would automatically be more level-headed than ours? This makes no logical sense! Am I missing the connection?
miley cyrus covers nipples

Obviously not an outfit that should ever be worn in the real world. Right? Right??!!!

I see why the media would want us to believe that celebs know something that we don’t, but that’s just so that they can sell us whatever crap they choose to.
Listen, some of us grown-ups know that celebs have more money than they know what to do with and seem to want to snort, smoke drink and party it away. If these are things that you aspire to do with your life, then they should be your role models. (Done and done.)

Maybe, just maybe, some adult in the child fan’s life could take five minutes and explain to the child that celebrities are a different breed of people not living in the real world. What you see may not even be the real personality of the person anyway. It’s all an act, a show. Enjoy the show. Admire Miley’s hustle and comfort with public nudity. Admire Justin’s lack of shame and affectation of swag. Admire their singing voices if that’s what you love about them. But don’t get it twisted.

If I aspired to getting drunk under the drinking age, speeding, and smiling like a douche in a mug shot, then Justin would be my role model. Since I don’t, he is not. (For the record, I only wanted to do one of those things, and with the help of a fake ID or some 21 year old guys, I achieved it!)

If you want to use your brains only to get ahead, show your naked body only to the person you’re gonna have sex with, or save the world from the apocalypse people keep predicting will happen, then you should look up to anyone other than a celebrity. They don’t know anything more about life than the rest of us.

Get it together people. You wanna life role model look at…um…well I don’t  of any of those. Someone should get on that. Pick someone, real or a celeb, who has the same values as you or a talent you like, then admire them for that and that only. Rest assured, there’s probably some other shit they do that you do not agree with. It’s fine, because you only admire them for what you find admirable, not for anything else.

But just because a celeb can hit a high note or has a number 2 hit, doesn’t mean they know how to do this thing called life. Or what it takes to be happy. We’re all equally clueless on that one.