Why We Rejected You

Published July 3, 2012 by bossymoksie

Hmmmm….Uh, no thanks.

I was at the store the other day getting junk food groceries and found myself walking behind some straight up do-ragged guy who was talking to himself in the parking lot. No, he wasn’t on his cell phone, as he wasn’t holding one and he wasn’t wearing an earpiece. Okay…Well he gets to his car first and finally notices that this hot ass was walking behind him. As I walk past him, he mumbles, ‘damn you sexy’. I assumed he was still talking to himself, mainly because I didn’t want to acknowledge him or talk to him. Didn’t matter. Cuz he got into his car and pulled up to mine as I was about to get in.

“Hey,” he says, “do you think I could give you my phone number?”

Now is a good time to let you guys know what goes through our heads at this moment. See, you guys can complain all you want about having to be the aggressor, the initiator and the risk of rejection and ego humiliation. But do you have any idea as to what WE have to consider??? Everything:STD’sbabiesfinancialhardshipsecurityagebeautybiologicalclockswaterweight

insecuritieshorninesstime. We have bigger risks of fuckin up our sexy bodies. There are LOTS of factors we have to consider. BUT, if the guy is handsome, charming, funny, or rich enough, or all of the above, then we gotta weigh those factors in too. We have to judge if it’s really worth it!

What now follows is a complicated mathematical equation that rolls through our brains to help us weigh the situation and to see what benefits may outweigh the drawbacks that will influence our ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer. It looks something like this:

(Disclaimer: I was never good at math.)

Charming + Rich – Possibly Diseased Manwhore + ( Funny + Smart) – Baby Mama Drama  + Travel = yes.


Hot + Sweet – Always Busy + Similar Tastes – (Possible Single Mother + Dying Alone) – Constant Pining = no.

***FYI- Loneliness has a lot of weight in the equation. Sometimes it rules everything else out and looks like this:

Loneliness + (Can’t stand another night by myself + I’ll never get anyone to look at me) – Ugly – Dumb – Diseased – Cheater – Baby Mama Drama – Broke – Fat – Loss of my self-respect = yes.

It’s also the variable that changes its weight of importance from moment to moment. So the same equation above could equal a no. And at any point in the relationship, we could change our minds. See? Complicated.

Now, we gotta make this assessment quickly, especially when asked on the spot, as in this case of the dude in the parking lot. Other times, you might have more time to gather more info for your equation, for instance if you have a class together or go to the same gym, or if some dude keeps visiting you at work. But at these spontaneous times, you just have to make a snap judgment decision. In this parking lot scenario, this guy was broke as a joke straight hood but more importantly, was TALKING TO HIMSELF OUT LOUD IN PUBLIC LIKE A HOMELESS SCHIZOPHRENIC BUM! having a whole conversation with himself in a parking lot.

So it went like this in my head:

Kind of a gentleman for offering his number (- kind of a pussy for not asking me for my number) + Hot, Rough Sex – Broke – Non-shiny car – CRAZY AS FUCK AND MIGHT KILL ME = no.

I just said ‘no thanks’ and quickly hopped into my car. When it comes to crazy people, don’t engage.

And you thought approaching a woman was hard.


18 comments on “Why We Rejected You

  • 1st.off:dudes in doorags are so lame.It’s not 2000 anymore.Guys need to get that.

    Great article though.I’m gonna have to tweet this shit.

    You made some great points of what we believe in the pick-up community:which is that a woman has great inner battle to deal with when it comes to everything from #’s,sex,dates,flakes,etc.And this comes down to hormonal imbalances to.

    And this’ why the pick-up community always say that women are illogical.Your article proves that.

  • Lol that wasn’t even logical lol!!

    Women are illogical.My last post kind of eluded to that.

    An examples of women being irrational:they won’t give up the pussy if their legs aren’t shaved,they would give you their #’s without any intentions to even talk to you.Do you want more cases of irrationality and illogics?

      • Nice to meet other bloggers from NYC(which I represent).

        Other examples of women doing irrational stuff in dating,sex,etc.

        1.)She meets a hot guy,set up a date but she flakes because she thinks that the dress she has on makes her look fat.

        2.)She wants to bang you real bad,but when the guy says to her,”I wanna bang you”,she gets offended.

        I can go on and on.

      • Always good to make other NYC bloggers too.
        The second one, I believe, but I have never known a woman who flakes on a date because she thought she looked fat in a dress. That’s just stupid.
        And while I agree that men and women think differently, men are just as irrational as women when dating.

  • Those are not good examples Kenny! Women don’t want to give it up when their legs aren’t shaved because they want them to feel nice and smooth FOR YOU! It’s a self-conscious thing about how menw ill react! And the phone number thing can be reversed to men! Why do guys ask for your number without any intention of calling? Same dif! Yes, I need more cases because those two were lame!

  • Yall female bloggers keep getting this twisted:men do NOT get girls #’s without intentions of calling.

    Why the hell would we waste time approach a chic,chat her up,get the # then don’t call?Men don’t do that.Never ever!

    If we don’t call,it’s for a genuine reason:we lost the #,it got deleted,whatever.Something logical.

    When a chic doesn’t call,it’s because she never had intentions to in the 1st.place,yet she still give the #.

    Yall need to stop equating men and women.We operate totally different in almost every area of life.

    And you are right about the shaving thing.You’re a chic so you should know.But it’s still irrational to feel self-conscious about having hairy legs.Guys won’t judge:especially in the heat of passion and horniness.

    • I agree that men and women operate differently. But guys have admitted to me that they sometimes get digits just for an ego boost, with no intention of calling! Truth! They just wanted to feel like the man or see if she would sleep with him that night. Lemme break it down for you, girls give numbers, even when they don’t want to, to be ‘nice’. They don’t want to hurt your ego/feelings or make that interaction turn uncomfy or weird. In both of your examples, girls are being ‘illogical’ because they are trying to be considerate to YOU.
      I have had sex with unshaved legs and I will not give a phone number if I don’t want the guy to call, but I can see why other girls don’t. Do I agree with them? No. But girls are socially conditioned to be nice and perfect (which I think is BS). And I’m probably gonna do a post on this cuz this reply is way too long.

      • Getting digits for an ego boost and getting digits to prove to yourself that you still got game is 2 different things.

        As a pick-up artist coach,we have concepts called cold approach,where we approach as many women as possible to get as man #’s as possible.But you can guarantee we wanna hook up,but yet still prove to ourselves we have skills.

        And I know that what you just said about giving #’s.We teach this in the PUA community lol.

        1 reason women give guys their #’s is to not hurt the nice guy’s ego and feelings.

        Another reason is to just get rid of the guy.

        Another reason is that some women just feel it’s no big deal to give their #.

  • I agree with those reasons (why women give their # when they don’t want to). But what I don’t understand is how you would think that’s illogical? You already know the logic behind these actions! I would agree that it’s BS and dishonest. Same with the shaved legs, and not going out because she thinks she looks fat. It’s insecurity and BS. My point is that men will ask for numbers and not call, just like girls will give numbers and not pick up the phone. Neither one wanted more than that initial reaction. He was workin his game, she was being nice. The end. Like ArtgirlNYC says above, both men and women can be irrational and play games in dating/hooking up. I think what a lot of guys do don’t make sense, it’s the basis of my blog!!!

    • Your second example (about wanting to bang but gets offended when you bring it up) is the whole not wanting to be a slut factor- which you’ve mentioned on your blog, or in your comments. You already know why women act offended! And again, that’s social conditioning. Women want to be banged! They are not supposed to admit it or something. Thank your forefathers for that.

      • Yea I did state that.

        However it’s still hella irrational.

        It’s irrational to pretend you don’t wanna fuck when you really want to but have to play it off and play games.

    • Both women and mewn do not play games.

      Of course I expect women to say that men play games,but we don’t.

      Reason why women are irrational in the cases pointed out is because instead of telling the guy no,I’m not gonna call you,I don’t wanna talk to you,they give the guy the # and hope that he doesn’t call.That is irrational.

      The insecurity and BS is based on irrationality.She doesn’t look fat in that dress,but her insecurity makes her irrational.Men NEVER think this way.We’ll show up on a date with a dirty shirt we wore last night.We don’t think like women.

  • I’ve known a few vain guys who wouldn’t go out cuz they weren’t feelin pretty, lol! Maybe we are just getting into word semantics here? I agree that women are insecure and can be full of BS but I think it’s largely due to social conditioning (believing that we have to look & be a certain way in order to be loved and accepted which is complete crap) which inspires them to act that way. And men play different games. I’ve seen so many ‘tactics’ thrown at me it’s not even funny. It’s a game to see if I’ll fall in line so they can get what they want. Another game men love to play? Stringin and misleading girls. Now that’s BS! From what I’ve read about the PUA community, you’re supposed to be honest and some guys are honest about that. But there’s many that aren’t. And that’s not being real either.

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