entertainment

All posts tagged entertainment

How to Choose Role Models

Published February 11, 2014 by bossymoksie

I’m really sick of people talking about how Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber are supposed to be role models, and should act like it. Did I fall asleep when people voted two children to exemplify all that is right and holy in the world for our other kids to look up to?

Can we pause for a second and realize how dumb this sentiment is? I get it. They are popular. They were introduced to us by entertaining the youth, ergo, have millions of young fans. Fine. But why the fuck are we labeling them as people who should know how life should be lived and a guide for kids? Lemme break this down for you. First of all, Miley is 21. Twenty. One. Please remember this. (Justin is 19!)

miley smokes a joint

Chillax people. I’m 21, not Gandhi.

Before you pass judgement on these two, do you remember what attention whorey stupid shit you were doing at that age? And for those of you who are proud of the purity of your own children, brace yourself for all the attention whorey stupid shit your kids will have in store for you in that age range. It’s a rite of passage.

You know who should be looked up to? Those boring kids who somehow magically skipped that attention whorey stupid shit phase as a teen.

I’ve heard the argument, from both parents and kids, that back when Miley was nine years old or something like that, she said that she wasn’t gonna use sex to be popular, was gonna stick to having good values and wanted to be a good role model. And now you feel betrayed.

kid role model

I’m a kid. And I said the darndest things.

Really? You’re listening to a fucking 9 year old? What was she supposed to say at 9? I can’t wait to be 21 and attention whore with nudity to sell my albums? That was before puberty, Liam Hemsworth, and she probably thought boys and drugs had cooties.
Don’t pretend that puberty and insecurities came along and didn’t fuck up your level headed child self who thought you knew everything in your simple black and white world of Barbie’s or GI Joe’s.
She was probably told to say those things to sell herself and her TV show anyway. That was her angle at the time. She moved on. Which leads me to my next point.
miley cyrus role model

I’m just selling albums ya’ll.

These bitches are celebrities. Their job is to sell their shit music by getting our attention any way they can. Just because they succeeded at getting our attention, doesn’t mean they know shit about life. Ergo, should not be role models of ‘acceptable’ behavior for kids, or anyone. Their job is to entertain, not lead.
Why are celebs generally cast as role models anyway? They are not living life. Not real life like the rest of us. They don’t know shit about the 9 to 5 side eye at you Beyonce for your lyrics in “Ghost”. Normal people don’t have to deal with what celebs deal with and vice versa. They are leading a different kind of life that is intertwined with commerce, so why would we think that their actions would automatically be more level-headed than ours? This makes no logical sense! Am I missing the connection?
miley cyrus covers nipples

Obviously not an outfit that should ever be worn in the real world. Right? Right??!!!

I see why the media would want us to believe that celebs know something that we don’t, but that’s just so that they can sell us whatever crap they choose to.
Listen, some of us grown-ups know that celebs have more money than they know what to do with and seem to want to snort, smoke drink and party it away. If these are things that you aspire to do with your life, then they should be your role models. (Done and done.)

Maybe, just maybe, some adult in the child fan’s life could take five minutes and explain to the child that celebrities are a different breed of people not living in the real world. What you see may not even be the real personality of the person anyway. It’s all an act, a show. Enjoy the show. Admire Miley’s hustle and comfort with public nudity. Admire Justin’s lack of shame and affectation of swag. Admire their singing voices if that’s what you love about them. But don’t get it twisted.

If I aspired to getting drunk under the drinking age, speeding, and smiling like a douche in a mug shot, then Justin would be my role model. Since I don’t, he is not. (For the record, I only wanted to do one of those things, and with the help of a fake ID or some 21 year old guys, I achieved it!)

If you want to use your brains only to get ahead, show your naked body only to the person you’re gonna have sex with, or save the world from the apocalypse people keep predicting will happen, then you should look up to anyone other than a celebrity. They don’t know anything more about life than the rest of us.

Get it together people. You wanna life role model look at…um…well I don’t  of any of those. Someone should get on that. Pick someone, real or a celeb, who has the same values as you or a talent you like, then admire them for that and that only. Rest assured, there’s probably some other shit they do that you do not agree with. It’s fine, because you only admire them for what you find admirable, not for anything else.

But just because a celeb can hit a high note or has a number 2 hit, doesn’t mean they know how to do this thing called life. Or what it takes to be happy. We’re all equally clueless on that one.

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Bossy and Lovin It

Published December 22, 2013 by bossymoksie

Have you seen this commercial?

There’s lots of discussion on Youtube,Twitter and other online forums about feminism, political correctness and blah blah blah.

Actually some of the comments are interesting. Like one guy asking when the ‘male version’ would come out. I’d really like to see it. Seriously, no joke.

Anyway, I love it for now. I connect with this commercial on a personal level. I have been called ALL of these names in a negative context, by both men AND women. And even by a few of my haters on this blog.

And I’ve never cared.

One of those names is used as the title for my blog! I enjoy my life, for better or worse. I am who I am and I love it. You don’t like it, you know where the door is, and you can let it hit you on your ass on your way out.

Until next year! I hope everyone has a great holiday! I know I will.

“The Apology”: Review of a Bloggers’ Book

Published December 20, 2013 by bossymoksie

There are two types of blogs I read.

One are dating blogs: PUA (or pick-up artists), women dating, and men dating.

The second are what I call the ranters: These are people who go on hilarious, and often brilliant rants about whatever subject they feel worthy.

And one of those is Essa On Everything.

Essa also writes books, and had one on Smashwords for free so I decided to check it out. It’s a novelette called “The Apology”. It’s fifty-six pages and a short read. She mentioned that it was free because it was not her best.

The set up is a woman who witnesses her crime lord husband murdering someone, then runs away with a former high school crush who coincidentally showed up to apologize to her for humiliating her before prom in high school, in order to clear his karma and bad luck he’s endured since the incident. It’s short, it’s sweet, it’s to the point (unlike my previous sentence).

What I will say about the book is that it keeps you wondering what will happen next. Which makes the book an even quicker and fun read. I also like how it brings you into a different world and introduces you to subjects you normally would not be introduced to in your regular club-hopping, gossiping, blogging, hair-pampering life. Like animal smuggling. Or Florida.

Sal, a supporting character, (and the lead in her other three books) is very interesting and entertaining. It’s a great intro to her character because I wanted to know more about her and spend more time with her.

The one thing I didn’t like was that the train of thought of the two leads didn’t always add up. I just couldn’t buy some of their thoughts, and the actions that followed those thoughts. It only happened a few times though. This is coming from the person who yells at the movie screen and TV when the characters do something I think is stupid, or not what I wanted them to do. Which is most of the time. And yeah, I know it’s fiction and that the characters can’t hear me. I don’t care, I’m gonna speak up anyway!

That didn’t take away from the adventure and drama (and action!) in the book and at least I cared about the characters and what happens to them.

Here’s where you can get it. It’s a good beach read, or airplane read, or waiting-in-line book, and you’ll probably finish it in one sitting. 

The Men on My Couch: Book Review

Published November 2, 2013 by bossymoksie

MIND. BLOWN.

mind explosion

Actual depiction of my brain while reading this book.

I first saw this book on a stand in a Barnes in Noble on my way to the real (i.e. clothing) stores. I literally stopped in my tracks, walked backwards and read the back cover. I thought I already knew everything and the book would just confirm that so I put it back down. A month later I bought it thinking it would be a somewhat juicy, voyeuristic inside look into what it was like to, well, be a man. Because knowledge is power.

the men on my couch book review

“The Men on My Couch” book cover.

When I started this blog, I was frustrated with some of the ways men tried to get and hold my attention. I really thought they were from another planet with different needs. Superficial needs, like a sammich, some sex and time alone which is why I didn’t take their needs that seriously. After blogging and reading lots of Pick-up Artist blogs and a few dating blogs from men, I got to see their side of things and it opened my eyes.

But “The Men on My Couch” took it to a whole new level. Here’s the set up (quoted from the back cover of the book):

“When Dr. Brandy Engler opened her sex therapy practice for women in Manhattan, she got a big surprise. Most of the calls were from men. They wanted to talk about womanizing, porn addiction, impotence, prostitutes—and most of all, love.”

The book itself is candid and straight forward. It’s based on true stories. The chapters are divided by each patient and what she learns from those sessions. Dr. Engler also includes what’s going on in her own love life, and how these sessions change her thoughts and expectations about men and relationships.

I’m not gonna go through the whole book and all the sessions here. There were just a few points that never occurred to me and has helped changed my perspective. These are not things the author dwells on, in fact some of these things were just a sentence or a paragraph or two. I’m gonna discuss what the author points out with my own thoughts mixed in.

One: Who Benefits Most from The Sex Industry

We always hear how exploitive the sex industry is of women, but never how it also exploits men. So no, men aren’t the ones that benefit the most, BIG BUSINESS does.  We forget that it’s a corporate institution trying to get their money and attention. The sex industry takes advantage of men’s vulnerabilities and insecurities in connecting with women. It’s selling instant gratification that doesn’t really help them in the long run, kinda like fast food. And it’s a billion dollar business.

The genius of it is that it’s not going to be talked about by it’s consumers. And if it’s kept under the rug, it’s never gonna be dealt with, and they will always get their money. There’s a reason why tricking is the oldest profession there is, because it’s the oldest, consistent market out there; men who want to be with women. Now that’s a secure industry! Funny how men complain about spending money on women, are concerned about women taking their money or taking advantage of them, but never think twice about the cash they throw at the sex industry.

What I also found interesting was how the book mentions that the readily accessible video porn is shaping boys sexuality and turn-ons. Porn uses a lot of sexuality based on power and anger to get attention, and sells the idea that that’s the only sex that is gratifying or interesting. This may or may not be true, depending on the individual, but how would he know if he relies only on the digital sex industry to dictate what sex means, and how it’s supposed to be?

Two: Society Generalizes Masculinity and Femininity

Speaking of media messages, it generalizes what it means to be a woman and a man in order to sell just about anything. It sets a standard. I’ve always been aware of this on the female end, but the book illuminated to me how it does the same for men and how limiting it is.

Men are told and encouraged to be sexual. Their masculinity is to be found through sex. They are not to pay attention to their feelings or indulge them, so they must swallow quite  a bit.  Feelings are something that they have to hide and deal with on their own somehow. So, many try to resolve and satisfy their emotional needs through sex, which isn’t always the answer. But what else are they gonna do, talk to their friends?! That’s not always an option for men.

The disconnect between what society tells women what great intimacy is versus what it tells men, is really hilarious.  Men should be sexual but women should be thinking about flowers and romance??!!! Men have the greenlight to be sexual and women have the greenlight to be emotional and materialistic. We all know that women are sexual too, but it’s looked down on for us to admit it, just like it is for men to admit that they are emotional beings. No wonder relationships can be so confusing!

On a side note, this explains why men get so irate (I mean really, really angry!) about romantic comedies. I’ve heard many men complain about how unrealistic it is. They hate that there are women out there that buy into it and will be holding them to that standard. (I just always got pissed that they were rarely ever funny).

porn vs rom coms

Conflicting dating messages from media

Three: The Riddle of the Sluts

I’ve always thought that men have a love-hate relationship with women that are easy to get into bed. On one hand, it’s instant gratification, they feel empowered and desirable. So then why the hate? The book mentions that it scares men that women are out there just having sex with anyone and not thinking it’s special. Because that means that they aren’t special. They need sluts to get laid and feel good about themselves for one night, but then get angry that women are capable of not treating it like it’s something more. Men really DO prefer women that hold a standard, because if they do get in there, they feel more special. I always thought that they just liked the work, but it also makes them feel like the lucky few that got to that intimate place with you and that it means something. And that’s why I think men judge a woman’s whole character by how easy she is. Fair? Probably not. But it’s a shortcut for men to decide how much the girl will value the relationship, and more importantly, him.

Four: Alpha’s vs Beta’s, The Vicious Dating Cycle

There’s really no competition. Seriously, women ideally want neither of these options. In real life, and in the book, I’ve noticed how women will get sick of the Beta’s and run to the Alpha, then get sick of the Alpha’s and run to a Beta.  The man that can balance the two is the man we ideally want. Stay with me here.

In the book, the nice guys did get cheated on. But it’s more complicated than him just being too nice. On the contrary, most girls who date nice guys date them because they are nice. The bad news is that they may just be with him because he is safe and will feed her ego, and not for who he is.

For example, in the book the women these Beta’s were with were attractive and knew it. One of the girls even says that she was sick of the Alpha’s which was why she was with the nice guy. The women liked the security and felt desired and appreciated for giving these nice guys the time of day. The problem comes when, for whatever reason, the pretty girl doesn’t feel secure or fawned over. If the nice guy is too busy, or insecure, or going through something related to her or not, then she starts feeling insecure about her desirability. And who do you think is gonna show her that? The Alpha gives her ego that shot of desirability she was missing.

And what about the fire that is lost with Beta’s? It’s both parties fault, not just the guys. Usually it’s because one or both parties aren’t in touch with what they really want in a relationship or their sexuality. So when the relationship turns to routine and neither know what to do, guess who starts looking attractive again? The Alpha. Instead of developing her own sexuality and desires in bed and out, that aggressive, flirty guy looks like a good solution. You don’t have to worry about what you want and need as a woman with an Alpha, he’s just gonna decide that for you, usually based on whatever he wants. It’s an easy band aid.

And if the Beta doesn’t develop what he truly wants and needs out of a relationship, and then starts going through the motions or doing whatever she wants, she WILL get bored. Then it’s on her to use that easy band aid, or figure out how to get the fire between her and her nice guy up again. Guess which one most women (who have a lot of choices) will pick?

I thought it was interesting that the Alpha’s in this book that were married, married dominant, Alpha women, and then cheated on them with more submissive women. And their main relationship wasn’t any better than the Betas’. The Alpha men were just as unfulfilled and afraid of losing their partner (if they got caught). The main difference between Alpha’s and Beta’s is that when there’s a bump in the road, the Alpha’s will be the cheaters and Beta’s will be cheated on. But both types feed women’s ego but in a different way. And in both cases, nobody’s happy.

In conclusion: 

This book does make you think about what you really want from a relationship and sex, and how you go about it, whether you’re a male or female. And I realized, holy shit, men and women really do want the same things in relationships: to be known, and to be respected and loved for it.

keanu meme

Men and women are from the same planet. Whoa.

Any man who is curious that they might find themselves in these pages or has troubles with relationships with women (connecting, not the getting laid part), should check this book out. For any woman who has thought WTF? when it comes to men, or had been cheated on or in a bad relationship, I definitely recommend picking up this book to see how the other half functions, or at least tries to. I honestly bought this book so that I could judge, but this book taught me how not to. No gaurantees that I’ll stop though. 

‘The Introvert Approach’ Book Review

Published September 12, 2013 by bossymoksie

I promised myself I would read this book, “The Introvert Approach“, and review it after Introverted Playboy said he would like my thoughts on it a few month ago.

Sorry, no video review, like I did with SocialKenny’s. Introvert’s like to read anyway.

First I think this book is GREAT! If you aren’t ready jump into the fire like a ninja and kick some ass and get your ass kicked like in Social Kenny’s book, “7 Ways to Become Social with Women“,  then this book will be better suited for you.

If you are not social and never have been, this book gives you baby steps to feel comfortable getting out of your comfort zone (your house in front of your computer,TV, or WII) and comfortable being outside before even speaking with people, let alone hot women.

If you can’t even do that, then there’s no hope for you.

Take aways:

  • Using your introversion as a strength to use to your advantage instead of thinking of it as a weakness when being social.
  • Baby steps to get used to being in public and talking to people with ‘micro approaches’ and ‘warm ups’.
  • Pointing out that practice makes perfect. (Just like the NBA only selects balla’s who can dunk, girls are only gonna warm up to the guys who can a socialize with them, and do it well.)
  • Focus on becoming good at being social first, then focusing on going after the women you want.
  • Three major techniques to keep the conversation going. (I admit, I am pretty lazy when it comes to talking to new guys and leave it up to them to steer the conversation. Unless the subject is REALLY interesting or we are just joking around).
  • Specific actions and explanation of creating excitement AND comfort, and why. (In my opinion, girls want to feel safe to open up with you-comfort- but still feel excited and alive when they’re around you-excitement. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we want it all.)
  • A positive (and realistic!) spin on dealing with rejections and failures.
  • Pointing out that you don’t have to be the outgoing, entertaining charming guy all the time to get laid. (Truth!)
  • A glossary of PUA terms at the end of the book for those not familiar with certain terms used in the book.
Quotes and points with my thoughts:
“A quick compliment on something the girl is wearing, asking for directions, asking for the time, asking her opinion about
something in the environment.”
I actually I get this ALOT.
And I’m thinking, ‘Do I look like I know where a fucking Home Depot is? Do I look like I eat at fucking Burger King? Do I look like I know how to read a clock?’ But this makes more sense. I thought it was because men people thought I looked like I know everything because in my mind, I do, except for those questions I mentioned above.
“The result is the classic question chain: asking her question after question, without going anywhere. This kills the conversation and makes it extremely boring. An exciting and interesting conversation happens when you share yourself, and that requires you to have the frame that you are the cool, interesting person here and you have stuff to share.”
The BEST conversations are when both parties are talking and sharing. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind going on and on and on, but I will forget you and not care to talk to you again unless I’m hard up for attention. And if the guy just talks on and on about himself…forget it, I’m just walking away.
“Instead of wondering if you are good enough for her, ask yourself if she is good enough for you. She is not the prize—she can’t be, you don’t know anything about her yet.”
I KNOW I’m a prize. But I also know that you don’t know why if we just met, except that you think I’m hot. So if you are drooling over yourself and putting me on this pedastool within the first few minutes of meeting, I’m gonna fuck with you and not take you seriously. Because it seems as though you don’t require much in being attracted to someone. Why would I want to know more about you when you apparently don’t give a fuck about anything else about me other than the way I look?
“The key is to have goals for the overall process of improvement with women, without having specific goals for a specific girl. A good goal is to have more dates per week. A bad goal is to get Jessica out on a date.”
I just love this point.
“You can say practically anything to a girl. As long as it is said with confidence and openness, it will enable you to start a conversation with her.”
TRUE dat. I have found this to be true when talking with men as well. Sometimes I say stuff that doesn’t even make sense, and make up words.
“As long as you are not expressing what is true for you in that moment, you will be incongruent and will fail to spark her interest. And you
will often come across as creepy.”
SO TRUE. Most women can tell if you’re attracted to them. You don’t have to hit them over the head or dry hump their leg or anything, but mentioning your attraction let’s us feel like you’re honest and not trying to hide something. Especially when you’re staring at our chest the whole time you’re talking to us.

The book mentions being a social leader.

Men with responsibility and are leaders are hot. That is all. We wanna know you can handle responsibility! Even if you’re irresponsible with us and ditch us!

The book also mentions being comfortable and confident with yourself.

Girls read ‘uncomfortable in social situations’ as uncomfortable with yourself, and we want no part of that. Unless the girl herself is shy and uncomfortable in social situations, or with herself.

“Doing what you said you were going to do (whether calling her at a certain time, taking her to the place you said you were going to take her, etc).”
THIS IS HUGE FOR ME.
When a guy flakes on his word, I become a major flake and you are just in my attention- whoring category, I can’t take you seriously after that.

“Boringness in conversation basically stems from our own inhibitions and inability to expose our true selves.”

True true! This also helps you get the girls that find the true you exciting! And that’s the jackpot right? RIGHT BITCHES? Better be. 

“Neediness and the desire to impress a girl is one of the biggest, most common killers of male attractiveness.”
Yes and yes. Unless the girl is clinger herself.
“A more straightforward way is to just practice “un-censoring” yourself in conversations with people. Whatever you are thinking, say it. When you agree with something, say it. When you disagree, say that.”
I sometimes find it annoying when guys that are talking to me agree with everything I say. Because i know I say crazy shit sometimes. Other times, my ego really likes it.
Anyway, if I’m not censored, I don’t want you to be either. and it makes me wonder what you are holding back, and why.

Suggestions

  • There’s a nice summary at the end of the book, but have you thought about making an action checklist? There’s a lot of information in the book and an action checklist might help some put some of your techniques and mindsets into action.
  • I am not an introverted, masculine man, but I was wondering how would a guy give off a ‘sexual vibe’ (for night time pick up at clubs and bars). Do you guys automatically know what that means? You gave the example of staring, but that can come off as creepy depending on the girl. Do you have other examples or explanations on how to do this?
Over all:

There are some really great tips and information in here whether introverted or extroverted but ESPECIALLY if you feel socially challenged and uncomfortable with dating scene.

If you want a copy of this free ebook, you can get it here.

*Oct. 10, 2013 EDIT: Introverted Playboy has come up with a 30 day action guide. You can check it out here.

When Boys Attack: Story 3

Published April 14, 2013 by bossymoksie

Back to our regularly scheduled program before you male bitches start getting big heads.

This is a story I had written about before, in the early days of my blog as it was going down. I wanted to give the full story because it amuses me how things went down between me and this guy. You don’t have to read my previous post on this guy to watch the video.

A few things.

I’m not doing any theory in the video. If you want my thoughts on why you shouldn’t half ass ask a girl out, you should read this.

I also mention how I don’t go out of my way to help this guy in asking me out. You can read why I don’t do that shit here. Dear ladies, notice how even though I was semi-rooting for this guy to succeed, I still didn’t go out of my way to make this date happen. I am not the one to play hide-n-go-seek-a-date with a guy and I’ve already written the perfect example of why you shouldn’t.

Lastly, I introduce the concept of ‘the question mark’. I did go into detail but I edited it out because I wanted to focus on the story. I will write a post about this concept later this week.

Enjoy!

Friday’s Featured Blogger – Bossymoksie

Published April 5, 2013 by bossymoksie

I was interviewed by fellow comedic blogger Essa Alroc. I have given her a few shout outs on my blog in the past, since I am a fan. If you read my blog for the humor and brilliance, then you should definitely check her blog out. But for now, check out my interview with Essa about my fantabulous blog! Or else.

Essa On Everything

bossy pic

Subject: Bossymoksie
Location: A Radio Station in Los Angeles

 

I arrive at a radio station just outside LA. I was supposed to by interviewing Bossy at her place, but when I arrived, I was told that she flew into a rage and stormed out to go confront the radio host Dr. Laura.

I arrived at the radio station only to learn she has beaten the conservative talk show host to death with a hammer and has hijacked her show.  I give her a thumbs-up through the window and she waves me in as she takes another call.

“I’m talking to Lisa, from Washington. Lisa, go ahead.”

Lisa’s voice booms from the headset I have just put on. “Yes, I’m pregnant with my fifth child. My husband just recently told me he wants me to go back to work after I have the baby because he can’t support…”

“Let me…

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