Don’t Get Your Hopes Up

Published June 7, 2012 by bossymoksie

So, I get a call from a guy “friend”. The word ‘friend’ is in quotation marks because he’s one of those guy friends who says he’s cool with just being your friend but really isn’t. He’s been trying to get at me since the first day we met. We actually didn’t meet, as we were introduced through friends by his request. It’s my personal belief that men who ask to be introduced are disappointing pussies, and experience has only proved it. If you don’t have the balls to walk up to a beautiful woman and introduce yourself, then you don’t deserve her. Yeah, I could bite your head off, but that’s the risk you take. Be a man.

Back to my friend. So, he calls me to let me know that he is gonna be near my town when Kevin Hart is comin into town. And he knows I love me some Kevin Hart. Why is he telling me this? Because he wants to get into my pants and he thinks this will help. We’ve been “friends” for ten years and he’s never even gotten to first base. I tell him that I knew Kevin Hart was comin six months ago. He suggests we go together.

“You do know the only tickets left are about $100 each, right?”

Silence.

Derp.

It’s not like this dude is broke. He has money. And let’s face it, a broke guy “friend” is just not worth having. But I know this dude isn’t willing to drop $200 plus on a comedian he thinks is okay just to hope to get into my pants to hang out with a friend. Especially since he knows he most likely won’t get any.

“Bye.” I say and hang up.

Yeah, there’s a reason he hasn’t gotten even close to first base. Do your freakin research when tryin to impress a girl. You can’t get her hopes up for nuthin. Just like my “friend” shouldn’t get his hopes up that he’ll ever get into my pants.

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5 comments on “Don’t Get Your Hopes Up

  • What a boss. Fascinating stuff on what it’s like to be a good looking girl who can toy with desperate guys. Thanks for the enlightment…Cash in before your looks go away

  • Currently, I work out of my house, alone. So, contact with the “real world” is minimal. So, I just wanted to thank you for spitting your shit, cause I can relate with all your emotions. When I get notified that you have blogged, I go to read it before everything else. Comic relief, so to speak. Really, just thanking you and I hope you keep up the good work! Wow, I hope I don’t sound too “creepy uncle”

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