So, I get a call from a guy “friend”. The word ‘friend’ is in quotation marks because he’s one of those guy friends who says he’s cool with just being your friend but really isn’t. He’s been trying to get at me since the first day we met. We actually didn’t meet, as we were introduced through friends by his request. It’s my personal belief that men who ask to be introduced are disappointing pussies, and experience has only proved it. If you don’t have the balls to walk up to a beautiful woman and introduce yourself, then you don’t deserve her. Yeah, I could bite your head off, but that’s the risk you take. Be a man.
Back to my friend. So, he calls me to let me know that he is gonna be near my town when Kevin Hart is comin into town. And he knows I love me some Kevin Hart. Why is he telling me this? Because he wants to get into my pants and he thinks this will help. We’ve been “friends” for ten years and he’s never even gotten to first base. I tell him that I knew Kevin Hart was comin six months ago. He suggests we go together.
“You do know the only tickets left are about $100 each, right?”
It’s not like this dude is broke. He has money. And let’s face it, a broke guy “friend” is just not worth having. But I know this dude isn’t willing to drop $200 plus on a comedian he thinks is okay just to
hope to get into my pants to hang out with a friend. Especially since he knows he most likely won’t get any.
“Bye.” I say and hang up.
Yeah, there’s a reason he hasn’t gotten even close to first base. Do your freakin research when tryin to impress a girl. You can’t get her hopes up for nuthin. Just like my “friend” shouldn’t get his hopes up that he’ll ever get into my pants.