I was innocently checking my email one day when I recieved an email from a male acquaintance that was out of town. Well out of the country. His email read:
Hey, would you ever date a guy like me?
I wrote: Do you know who you emailed? What’s going on over there?
He wrote: Yes, I do know who I emailed. LOL. Things are great over here I just thought I’d ask and stop torturing myself.
A little backstory. Met him through a family member and this is a really, really, solid, standup, good guy. The real deal (as far as I know). He has helped my friends out a lot. We just thought he was a good guy. I even offered to go to lunch with him (him paying of course) and my friends and I invited him out to a few things so that we could all hang, and not just have him around when we needed something. He declined. Okay. Shit. Not gonna force you to hang out with
me us, especially if you just wanna give favors. Sometimes I felt like he would actually avoid me when we were in the same room together as a group.
So how do I respond? I’m just gonna be honest cuz,
fuck it it’s the best policy.
I wrote: This is random, that’s why I asked. I honestly never thought about it. You’re a ‘good on paper guy’.
He wrote: Not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. I was gonna holla at ya sooner but you and your friends were dissing *DOUCHEFRIEND so hard when he asked you out so I backed down. I was talking to a friend and told her that you’re cool and fun but don’t take shit from anyone and she told me to not wait and go for it if that’s what I feel so I thought why not and that’s why I emailed you. Don’t wanna make you uncomfortable, just wanted to put it out there.
I wrote: LOL at DOUCHEFRIEND. You know his ass deserves to be joked! I’m not uncomfortable, it’s just out of the blue from someone who seemed to avoid me. Anyway, like I said I don’t think of you in that way.
And because I’m nosey and wonder what the fuck kind of logical reasoning this guy has I write:
How come you never hung out with us when we invited you?
He wrote: I was too shy and weighing the pros and cons. I’m used to girls making the first move but the ones I’m interested in I get too nervous and think I’m not good enough.
Okaaaaaaaaaaay, so he finally wracked up some nerve when he was halfway across the FUCKING GLOBE. That’s what it took to ask me out? A few continents and oceans between us? Funny how you want to be close to someone but you stay as far away from them as possible. And why would you admit that you don’t think you are good enough? If you want a sympathy vote, fine. But it does not make a woman attracted to you or interested in wanting to know more. In fact, for me, it makes me want to run the other way because I don’t want to deal with other wacky, random behavior that may pop up from your not thinking you’re good enough.
He is a good guy. But his dating approach has turned him into the nice guy, and you know how much I love them. I think one thing that pisses me off about the dating game and approach from guys is how are you gonna do everything else but try to CONNECT to the girl that you want a connection with? And they say girl logic is crazy.
I forgot to. Until now. Because he is back in town.
I’m curious as to what advice some of you would give this guy. Yes, I am asking YOU.
*nickname inspired by personality