commentary

All posts in the commentary category

Vampire Boyfriends….WHY?

Published February 2, 2016 by bossymoksie
The Vampire diaries

“The Vampire Diaries” love triangle

Some of you may know that the TV Show The Vampire Diaries is a guilty pleasure of mine. In the beginning, this show was a romantic- horror- teen- angst hybrid but now has downgraded to a basic teen soap with supernatural characters. I thought I was watching it for the love triangle between the three leads (pictured above), but the real reason I was watching was the fierce Katherine Pierce. Sadly, she is long gone with no hope of returning (since the actress playing her has left the show).

katherine pierce

I so wish she was really back!

So now I’m left to wonder; what is this obsession with vampire boyfriends as a good thing? There have been so many popular stories about them, and were made popular by mostly women. What’s more is that there’s usually not just one monster vampire in love with the female protagonist but TWO. And we thought only men were greedy. See exhibit below:

The Vampire Diaries: Elena, Stefan and Damon.

Twilight: Bella, Edward, and Jacob.

True Blood: Suki, Bill and Eric.

Buffy, the Vampire Slayer: Buffy, Angel and Spike.

As usual, I’m here to keep it real. So let’s go over some reasons why vampire boyfriends are the worst and not the oh-so- hot, epically romantic, undylingly devoted soulmate that these stories try to perpetrate.

ONE- They can suck the life out of you. Literally. Why are women so hard up for a guy who sees you as a potential snack? I’ll pass.

TWO- They can suck the life out of the party or room. Again, literally. But in some cases, figuratively. They are always broody and troubled and shit. I’m sure they have had plenty of bad experiences to justify being all broody, but still, what a downer. Some of us WILL die one day so can we at least try to make the best of my limited time without you bringing me down? Thanks.

angel & buffy

THREE- They are Woody Allen craddle robbers in hot boy clothes. Why are all these centuries-old vampires wanting to date 17-year-old girls? It’s like those 50-year-old dudes who want…the same exact thing. Let me get this straight: you have seen the turn of the century, you have seen how the invention of TV and the internet has changed the world, you’ve witnessed wars and famine, read all the classic literature works of art, learned multiple languages and traveled the world.

And yet, the only person you can fall truly, madly, deeply in love with is a teenage girl?

katherine pierce

I don’t fucking think so.

Teenage girls can never make up their mind or know what they want. Especially if they themselves are hot. And I used to be one! I know! They aren’t sure of who they are, but there are you are stalking courting them and professing your undying love. If you were really that vulnerable and deep lonely, why would you place your heart in the hands of a girl who can’t make up her mind as to what she will wear that day, let alone what she wants FOR FUCKING ETERNITY. She is anything but worldly.

Please don’t use the excuse that women mature faster than boys. Sixteen years vs 200 years is pretty ridiculous. You guys aren’t THAT behind us. Wait a minute, I may need to rethink that one…

spike & buffy

Centuries years-old and still can’t think of anything else.

FOUR- His ass always has dangerous enemies. They are coming for him, you, your family and your friends. Because you are his weakest link; again, you are an appetizer to him and his enemies. Guess how you could have avoided all that horror and drama of having those you love killed off as collateral damage? By not dating this creepy, emotionally stunted, undead monster. But he’s hot right so…worth it?

vampire soulmates

How about none?

FIVE- Okay seriously, because this blog post has super useful information that you need in your daily life can you really say no? I mean how will a man-child monster deal with rejection? We know that some real life human men can’t handle it well. But a vampire? He can just out right finish you. Better to pray that one never becomes obsessed with you because he has nothing better to do and is bored as fuck ‘fallen’ for you rather than sitting at home and praying that one of those monsters walks into your life. Even if he is mature enough to not end your life, then you have to deal with him moping around you, staring at you intensely and saving you from some inevitable life threatening car accident/ apocalypse/ serial killer that coincidentally happens shortly after his ass shows up.

As for the middle-aged stans that obsess and fantasize about these fictional characters; You ladies are safe! No threat there!

twilight fans

The idea that you are dating a monster, but he is kind to you is really romantic and appealing…I guess. What’s not so romantic or appealing? Defending their bad behaviors, as so many female characters do in these stories, as well as the stans who discuss these hot and soulful undead dudes in fan forums, and justifying their destructive behavior because these guys are sooo sensitive and sooo lonely just like some women do with abusers.

Ladies, let’s get it together. This is why men turn to being bad boys. Because we are drooling over them, can’t stop pining and talking about them! Men want to be wanted! They will turn into jerks if that’s what it takes for us to obsess over them! We are setting the standard!

But if all the points I made in this post sounds appealing to you, then have at it!

 

 

Bossy and Lovin It

Published December 22, 2013 by bossymoksie

Have you seen this commercial?

There’s lots of discussion on Youtube,Twitter and other online forums about feminism, political correctness and blah blah blah.

Actually some of the comments are interesting. Like one guy asking when the ‘male version’ would come out. I’d really like to see it. Seriously, no joke.

Anyway, I love it for now. I connect with this commercial on a personal level. I have been called ALL of these names in a negative context, by both men AND women. And even by a few of my haters on this blog.

And I’ve never cared.

One of those names is used as the title for my blog! I enjoy my life, for better or worse. I am who I am and I love it. You don’t like it, you know where the door is, and you can let it hit you on your ass on your way out.

Until next year! I hope everyone has a great holiday! I know I will.

Pretty Girls and Power, It’s Your Fault

Published October 18, 2013 by bossymoksie

It always amuses me when men get so upset at my arrogance bragging. Especially guys online. It inspires me to do it MORE actually. I like being difficult and you just showed me how. Women usually laugh or roll their eyes, but hardly ever seem offended or have strong reactions like men do.

To be honest, I would brag about something, anything, no matter what I looked like. I think it’s funny and fun. I like to have a good time. And it’s interesting to me when men get so upset at this. But enough about me. For now.

Why is that?

Because I actually turned out to be pretty, some men can’t tolerate me flaunting that I know that in their faces every annoying chance I get. I am also flaunting that I know that’s why their ass is even paying attention to me the first place. Apparently it’s bad form to mock mention that. Call it a test, call it a bitch, call it whatever you want. But I get to see how you really are when I do that.

If you’re insecure about yourself, you’ll be mad and lash out. Try to get some of your power back. If you could give a fuck, you will not even care what I said and either not give me the time of day, or try to see if there’s something else behind this amazing visual feast before your eyes.

What a minute? How did I end up with this power in the first place?

You gave it to me.

A lot of men, when they see someone they are attracted to, feel at a disadvantage already. They get mad when rejected or when a pretty girl doesn’t act in a way they think she should so he can connect with her more, or at least get her into bed.  You’re the ones that put high stakes on your encounters with pretty women, and the potential of losing your personal power. That’s on you.

Yes, a pretty girl does have a lot of choices, and yes, it’s her decision whether or not you are one of them. But you gave her that power. You’re the ones who put a certain type of girl on a pedastool; as a goal, an achievement, a validation. It’s a social construct you all agreed on with other men and act on accordingly. It’s only a state of mind, a belief. One that you don’t have to subscribe to. It’s all in your head!

Of course every guy wants to be with a woman they are attracted to. But EVERY attractive woman isn’t a great find or fit for you. So you shouldn’t feel bad or scared when you see just ANY attractive woman. It’s a catch 22. You want something someone badly, you get too nervous and tongue tied, she thinks you’re an alien dropped of the mother ship who doesn’t know basic human social interaction, and it’s endgame. Or you minimize her in your head, she either gets mad and disappears or you achieve your conquest and realize it was all an empty pipe dream and the crazy, nervousness you initially felt was all for nothing.

This doesn’t mean putting her down, objectifying her, villainizing her, and whatever other creative ways you guys like to regain your power. It just means taking a shot of reality- She’s great to look at. Period.

What you should be asking yourself is if there’s something else beyond that, and more importantly, is there something there you can really connect to or value and vice versa. Like my  game twin, Reema says, what else does she bring to the table?

All I did was walk into the room, ready to share my awesomeness with the room, and you’re thinking attack strategies. Calm it the fuck down. Don’t hate. Appreciate. Or better yet, find some validation that isn’t dependent on how hot girls respond to you.

I didn’t make the rules. I didn’t plant that idea about pretty girls having all the cards in your head. It was already there. I just like fucking with it.

Why the Internet Casanova Was Successful

Published April 22, 2013 by bossymoksie

Have you heard about this story?

http://abcnews.go.com/2020/video/nabbing-internet-casanova-18945450

Professional mooch, Ray Holycross, would meet women on Plentyofish.com and eventually rip them off.

He would ‘charm’ them, then come up with some sob story of how he lost everything (he was mugged was the most poplular story he gave) and next thing they knew, he was living in their house/apartment and they were paying all the bills and more. Then he would disappear and they would discover he stole some shit and some learned he was cheating on them the whole time.

I have some serious questions I need to address here:

How does a residence get mugged?

How does a job get mugged?

Okay maybe there were other lame stories he told them (that they aren’t sharing on the news) that got him in their houses and wallets. I want to know what theses stories are!

Seriously! I wanna know what he said so I can say that shit too.  I need to know how this conversation went down!

Because it would NEVER EVER EVER end with  me saying ‘Here, use my car, house, and my money darling.’

If you have two hands and two feet and a brain, you can handle yo business. You are a grown ass man. Hell, I know men who don’t even have all that who can still pay for their own shit.

So why was he successful?

They said he was charming, attractive, they were fooled, he was smart, they really believed him, he was their knight in shining armour, their prince charming, they felt loved.

what you talkin about willis

Cut the bullshit.

Okay first of all, one of the requirements for a knight in shining armour/prince charming is that he has a big fat wallet. Or at least his own wallet. So stop kidding yourselves. Let’s get real for a minute.

This guy is a grade A douche. We all agree. But let’s break this down, because we know what he really took advantage of is your fear of never finding someone to love you or share your life with. Yeah its sad and shit and not a pleasant feeling, but you just made your life sadder by hooking up with this fool.

Because when women get desperate and afraid, they will twist reality into something they really want. That’s not how “The Secret” works ladies! That’s called being delusional and, sometimes, a sucker. You were lonely and desperate and wanted something you didn’t have fast. Even for a price. Literally.

One woman said she just wanted to believe that someone loved her so much. This is what I meant about women just making shit up, even though it’s not the reality, due to their own doubts or personal question marks. Another woman even admits that she learned to listen to her gut in the future, because obviously her gut was telling her that something was wrong with this one. But she wanted to pretend feel like she was in lurve so she continuted on with the charade until he was done with her…and her money.

This desperate delusion was how he got to move in and get access to their credit cards/bank accounts. When women activate this state, they will sometimes act like the guy is someone who has their back and is a real partner early on in the relationship, even though the guy hasn’t proven that to them. Because she wants to be part of a couple so badly, she is willing to play the role and hope that the guy does the same in return.

No honey, men don’t work that way, they take and enjoy and keep it moving. Especially in the beginning. They chalk it up to their ‘game’ and general awesomeness as to why you are giving them everything with the kitchen sink. You know when men think that you are solid as a couple? When they feel like it. When you are actually a real couple. Do you know when men think you are a team that is there for each other? When you’ve actually been through some shit and have BOTH been there for each other. This doesn’t happen in a couple of days.

If you meet a bitch online, date him for two months or less (in some cases he was moved in after a few days), you do not offer him access to EVERYTHING just because you want to pretend that you two are already the best couple ever. Calm that shit down.

Let him earn that. MEN LIKE IT! Please remember this. And don’t let your fear of being alone and superpowers of lying to yourself  let you forget it in the future.

One woman, who supported him for a over a year, gave up her house for him and her underage daughter had to move in with the father. Wow. Just wow. That’s the power of deluding yourself. Ladies, you deserve the real thing.

Link Lovin’: What I Love About Men

Published April 10, 2013 by bossymoksie

I know I like to talk alotta shit about mistakes guys make.

It’s funny.

Sometimes I wonder who has it worse in the dating game (not really) because some of us ladies can be pretty crazy.

But let me take a moment to talk about a few things that I love about men.

1-Shit talking for bonding.

I think it’s cute how guys bond with other guys usually by trash talking each other and talking shit. I also think it’s cute when they do it with women. Some women can’t handle this and their ego’s would prefer to be given praises and compliments all day and night. Which is also nice and boring.

2-Stepping up.

Guys have that bad rap of just following their penises and not thinking before acting. It’s hugely sexy when a guy steps up and does something that is right for someone else, or for the situation, even though he clearly wants to be a really really naughty boy. When you see that restraint it’s so sexy. I dunno why: it’s not about being a doormat, which is unattractive and boring, I think it has something to do with being a good leader, and capable of seeing the bigger picture. jmo.

When women step aside or make sacrifices, they may give monologues about it to anyone who will listen because we’re encouraged to share every fucking feeling. Guys not so much. There really is something to that strong silent type. Yum.

3-Action oriented.

Sure there are times I wish you bitches had thunk first (see above). But I admire the do, do, do. No matter how annoying or lame it may get sometimes.  It’s the best way to learn and make mistakes, and I know it’s not always easy.

4-Best Cosmetic Ever.

While us women tear ourselves apart and make a sport out of picking other women apart, men tend to focus on what they find to be good and beautiful about us.

No matter what great new expensive shoe you have on, or perfect hair day, or favorite lip gloss or mascara you may be rocking that day, they all have nothing on a guy telling you how gorge you look tonight. Ironically, most of us ladies use all that crap to get such compliments and ego boosts from men. It’s a vicious cycle; one I don’t mind playing in!

Maybe that why the cosmetic industry makes so much money!

5-Lastly I love that they have a weakness for me! 😉

Why I’m Avoiding Serious Relationships

Published April 3, 2013 by bossymoksie

Real talk time.

I’ve been wanting to do this post for the past two months but I’ve been procrastinating which is how I like to roll. (P.S. Why is thinking about serious, deep shit never fun? It’s never fun to sit around and have your soul start talking shit to you that you’d rather not hear. It’s much better to do…anything else. I guess if keeping it real with yourself was more fun, more of us would be doing it more often. This is why alcohol and loud music is so handy sometimes. That and a trail of guys willing to be nice distractions whenever you call.)

reality meme

Ugh…real thoughts.

After my big break-up and my cash-cow funny crash and burn date, I wanted to sit and think about what was really going on with me. It’s occured to me that I really don’t want a serious relationship. It’s not like I need to date 6 guys at one time to feed my ego. My ego is already big and is easily fed in almost any other situations. I like seeing one guy at a time, and I like knowing that someone will be there when I want attention, and the idea of sharing your life with someone who knows you and everything else that already happened is appealing. Isn’t the latter what friends are for though? But when a guy starts his serious settling down talk, I want to do this.

What you say?

What you say?

Why do I have that reaction? Most of you know all the shit I talked about marriage and settling down, and how I’ve run away from a few proposals. But like any smart bullshitter person, you can really make an argument for whichever side you feel like being on that day.

So what’s behind all those brilliant posts of yesteryear?

I paid attention to all the wifey wedding crap my girlfriends talk about whenever the subject of boys comes up did an informal poll. What I realized is what pops up into their minds when it comes to marriage is way different from what pops up in my mind. Lemme show you.

WEDDINGS

THEM: A huge, glamorous wedding where everything is perfect and beautiful (meaning yourself) and everyone wants to be you. This day will be THEIRS perfect.

All eyes will be on me, or they will all pay.

All eyes will be on me, or they will all pay.

ME: Planning a huge party where you don’t even get to get wasted at, having to invite people you try to avoid most of the year and knowing these bitches are gonna try to hijack YOUR party to make themselves seem important and relevant because deep down they know they suck at life.

Who asked you to come anyway? Oh yeah, I did. Damn.

Who asked you to come anyway? Oh yeah, I did. Damn.

BABIES

THEM: Babies who smile, laugh, and be cute all the time.

Awww. So precious...in a 2 dimensional picture.

Awww. So precious…in a 2 dimensional picture.

ME: Babies who cry and shit all the time and YOU have to do something about it.

Oh. Dear. God.

Oh. Dear. God.

INTIMACY

THEM: Always having a date whenever you need one.

date night

We ordered the same food, aren’t we so in sync and in love?

ME: Never having a date again. EVER.

staying in

Umm, what about that ‘Dateline’ show? Oh, it’s repeat. Kinda like this night.

THEM: More romantical and cuddling moments to come forever and ever and ever.

romantic couple with rose

This rose is a symbol of the purity and beauty of us, and our forever love.

ME: Forgetting that the other person exists, even though you live with them.

reddit wife meme

Why even get married???

KIDS

THEM: Kids that say the darndest things when out in public.

smiling kids

“[Love is] Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life.”

ME: Kids who throw a tantrum everytime you go out in public to handle your business.

kid tantrums

Hey kid! It’s my job to throw a tantrum on the floor when I don’t get what I want.

Now you can see why I feel offended, sometimes even hurt, when the guy who says that he loves me wants to do this shit to me. WHY? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHY WOULD HE WANT TO DO THIS TO ME?!

My life is the one that’s gonna change! His, not so much. Sure he gets the awesomeness that is me. And when the actual baby shit hits the fan, my smart ass will have a smart quip or solution for it.  But what is he giving up besides not sleeping with other chicks. Which we all know some don’t even keep up on that ONE sacrifice.

MY life is the one that’s gonna change in a big, unpleasant way. You can call it growing up and being an adult and shit all you want. Well, I don’t wanna. So there. There it is. And if you think I’m bossy now, wait until the responsibilities start rolling in. When I order my BLT salad with a side of Ranch AND Honey Mustard dressing and extra Avacado on the side with a half and half mix of Sprite and Strawberry Lemonade, that’s not just a lunch order, that’s a sign of things to come. You’ve been warned.

Last note on fears.

One. Kids are just fucking scary! There was a time when you worried about accidentally killing your own child by doing something wrong. These days you have to worry about your kids killing YOU and everyone they know. And you know who everyone truly blames. Gun laws. THE MOTHER. Talk about a red face! Too soon? Even if they don’t go postal on the world, the teenage years are never a picnic. They think they know everything when they know squat. I will literally roll my eyes at them everytime they walk into the room because I know they will be saying stupid shit as though they are some geniuses. And I would know!

Two. I am more afraid of this than the first fear: Boredom. Couples get busy, you get into routines, you get complacent. So then, no more spontaneity? No more adventure? No more discovery? That’s it? For most women, marriage is the endgame. But I think of it as the end…of living.

zombie girls

We will eat your brains and you will join us in talking only about baby formula and your husband’s favorite socks.

If marriage is the end all and be all, that’s all there is?

wasteland car

I sure as hell ain’t ending up here!

Scary.

It’s Our Anniversary!

Published March 23, 2013 by bossymoksie
happy anniversary

Happy Anniversary to me in the blogging world!

I’m talking about me and you, bloggers!

My blog is one year old now!

It was just one year ago today that I wrote this epic post. (Which was just a conversion of that standard ‘Hello World’ post they put on everyone’s blog here at WordPress.com when you start your blog). Time does fly when you’re having fun!

One whole year! That’s a long time for me. I’m not a big fan of commitment.

It’s hard for me to commit to something for this long. To show you here is a list of things I’ve committed to for longer than one year:

-Flat Iron

-Credit Cards

french tip manicure

Yeah baby!

-Hiking while gossiping with friends (in LA)

-French Tip mani and pedi

-2 of my boyfriends

-Uggs, and yeah, I do wear them with mini skirts

-Large comfy puke pink sweater I stole from a friend’s boyfriend (it’s in the trash now but it had a long run!)

-Anything that has the combination of chocolate and peanut butter.

-And this blog!

Most of you know how hard it is to keep up with blogging this long especially when you have a life. But I told myself I would do it for at least a year and here I am! Maybe I learned something here about longterm commitment.

Sometimes you just don’t wanna go there. Instead you want to drink your ass off somewhere, have a dance off, and have a crazy laugh with your girlfriends instead. Or watch “Pretty Woman” with your latest favorite flavor of icecream and talk shit on the phone with the latest dude who is giving you attention while deep conditioning your hair. Then you remember that you hadn’t blogged in a few days, maybe even a week and you’re like ‘shit!’ I don’t feel like putting words on online, but then you remember that fucking promise you made to yourself, even though you don’t remember why.

And then, sometimes, you’re glad you showed up anyway!

I’m doing better than some of you whom have dropped the ball. Yeah I’m talking about you. Just so you know, I have abandonment issues, so you’re lucky that I’m good at making new friends until I abandon them!

Here’s to another 6 – 20 months tops before I really get sick of this shit and move onto something else.

A word or two about this blog.

People online and off have been asking me what the fuck I am doing with this thing. And my answer is: whatever the fuck I want. This is entertainment and a creative outlet for me. So don’t be surprised if things change. Or stay the same. I don’t know. It’s whatever I feel like doing especially if I do this for another full fucking year! . It’s my blogging world, and you are just visiting in it.

i love fans

Thanks for visiting! Love ya!