Vampire Boyfriends….WHY?

Published February 2, 2016 by bossymoksie
The Vampire diaries

“The Vampire Diaries” love triangle

Some of you may know that the TV Show The Vampire Diaries is a guilty pleasure of mine. In the beginning, this show was a romantic- horror- teen- angst hybrid but now has downgraded to a basic teen soap with supernatural characters. I thought I was watching it for the love triangle between the three leads (pictured above), but the real reason I was watching was the fierce Katherine Pierce. Sadly, she is long gone with no hope of returning (since the actress playing her has left the show).

katherine pierce

I so wish she was really back!

So now I’m left to wonder; what is this obsession with vampire boyfriends as a good thing? There have been so many popular stories about them, and were made popular by mostly women. What’s more is that there’s usually not just one monster vampire in love with the female protagonist but TWO. And we thought only men were greedy. See exhibit below:

The Vampire Diaries: Elena, Stefan and Damon.

Twilight: Bella, Edward, and Jacob.

True Blood: Suki, Bill and Eric.

Buffy, the Vampire Slayer: Buffy, Angel and Spike.

As usual, I’m here to keep it real. So let’s go over some reasons why vampire boyfriends are the worst and not the oh-so- hot, epically romantic, undylingly devoted soulmate that these stories try to perpetrate.

ONE- They can suck the life out of you. Literally. Why are women so hard up for a guy who sees you as a potential snack? I’ll pass.

TWO- They can suck the life out of the party or room. Again, literally. But in some cases, figuratively. They are always broody and troubled and shit. I’m sure they have had plenty of bad experiences to justify being all broody, but still, what a downer. Some of us WILL die one day so can we at least try to make the best of my limited time without you bringing me down? Thanks.

angel & buffy

THREE- They are Woody Allen craddle robbers in hot boy clothes. Why are all these centuries-old vampires wanting to date 17-year-old girls? It’s like those 50-year-old dudes who want…the same exact thing. Let me get this straight: you have seen the turn of the century, you have seen how the invention of TV and the internet has changed the world, you’ve witnessed wars and famine, read all the classic literature works of art, learned multiple languages and traveled the world.

And yet, the only person you can fall truly, madly, deeply in love with is a teenage girl?

katherine pierce

I don’t fucking think so.

Teenage girls can never make up their mind or know what they want. Especially if they themselves are hot. And I used to be one! I know! They aren’t sure of who they are, but there are you are stalking courting them and professing your undying love. If you were really that vulnerable and deep lonely, why would you place your heart in the hands of a girl who can’t make up her mind as to what she will wear that day, let alone what she wants FOR FUCKING ETERNITY. She is anything but worldly.

Please don’t use the excuse that women mature faster than boys. Sixteen years vs 200 years is pretty ridiculous. You guys aren’t THAT behind us. Wait a minute, I may need to rethink that one…

spike & buffy

Centuries years-old and still can’t think of anything else.

FOUR- His ass always has dangerous enemies. They are coming for him, you, your family and your friends. Because you are his weakest link; again, you are an appetizer to him and his enemies. Guess how you could have avoided all that horror and drama of having those you love killed off as collateral damage? By not dating this creepy, emotionally stunted, undead monster. But he’s hot right so…worth it?

vampire soulmates

How about none?

FIVE- Okay seriously, because this blog post has super useful information that you need in your daily life can you really say no? I mean how will a man-child monster deal with rejection? We know that some real life human men can’t handle it well. But a vampire? He can just out right finish you. Better to pray that one never becomes obsessed with you because he has nothing better to do and is bored as fuck ‘fallen’ for you rather than sitting at home and praying that one of those monsters walks into your life. Even if he is mature enough to not end your life, then you have to deal with him moping around you, staring at you intensely and saving you from some inevitable life threatening car accident/ apocalypse/ serial killer that coincidentally happens shortly after his ass shows up.

As for the middle-aged stans that obsess and fantasize about these fictional characters; You ladies are safe! No threat there!

twilight fans

The idea that you are dating a monster, but he is kind to you is really romantic and appealing…I guess. What’s not so romantic or appealing? Defending their bad behaviors, as so many female characters do in these stories, as well as the stans who discuss these hot and soulful undead dudes in fan forums, and justifying their destructive behavior because these guys are sooo sensitive and sooo lonely just like some women do with abusers.

Ladies, let’s get it together. This is why men turn to being bad boys. Because we are drooling over them, can’t stop pining and talking about them! Men want to be wanted! They will turn into jerks if that’s what it takes for us to obsess over them! We are setting the standard!

But if all the points I made in this post sounds appealing to you, then have at it!

 

 

And then 2015 ended…

Published January 19, 2016 by bossymoksie

Hello my peeps and fellow bloggers!

I apologize for dropping in on the anniversary of my blog, saying I’ll be back,  and then disappearing again like a one night stand.

I kept meaning to come back and write for you but I had some serious writer’s block. And, you know, life happened #sorrynotsorry. Time flies when you’re  half drunk having fun. 

I enjoy ranting and raving like a lunatic and that’s what this blog has been about for me mostly; ranting and raving and having a grand ole’ time.

The reason why I’ve stopped writing is because I was getting bored with doing only that. I know, how could that happen, right?  It was so amazingly fun for all of us!

But I didn’t want to rant and rave,  at least not ALL the time, anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I love getting the last word. I love words. I love making a point and then strutting away in a huff, or slamming a door, or dropping a mic, or making something go BOOM.

mind explosion

How’s that for an exclamation point!

 

But I recently learned the best way to deal with crazies, assholes, bullshit artists, anything or anyone annoying etc. (Generally anyone who is full of shit and trying to get you to swallow it.) And here it is:

 

walk away from crazies

 

I know, so anti-climactic. Almost like it never happened, or that they don’t exist. Which is kind of the point.

So easy. Less dramatic and less of a display of how brilliant I am but on the plus side, saves a lot of time and heartache and eliminates negativity. Which means more time for FUN, doing awesome things, being awesome, and being around awesome people. 

That said, I’ve been struggling with what I want this blog to be about. So I’m gonna open it up. I’m just gonna roll with day to day stuff and share my ranty silly, funny thoughts on shit.

Don’t worry, there will still be talks of men. Because they are so entertaining, aren’t they? And I can’t resist a good rant once and awhile. But I will also be counting the ways I love me my life, and sharing my wisdom on how to enjoy your life and be awesome like me. Especially when shit is hitting the fan.

how i met your mother, barney

Oh but I’ve missed you wordpress! And my readers. You get out of a habit of posting and then the motivation is just gone.

And now I’m back!

Changes are on the way!

Welcome to 2016 bloggers!

 

 

i love fans

Thanks for visiting! Love ya!

Four Years Flew By…

Published March 23, 2015 by bossymoksie

Hello my blogging community and followers!

I guess time really does fly when you’re having fun. And when you disappear for 10 months. 

I know, I know. You miss me. And I miss you. But I’ve been lazy busy with life stuff and haven’t had a chance to write. I’ve never forgotten you except anytime I was away from my computer plus many, many many other times. You were always on my mind except for when you weren’t.

And then I realized shit! today is my blog’s FOUR YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!!!!

another year of putting up with me

So to honor my blog still being here and not deleted by WordPress due to neglect I decided to write you guys a quick shout out. And to let you know I will be back. So hang in there!

I will also honor it with something I do to honor just about anything, any day, any time this:

champagne toast

A toast to me! … and my followers.

Cheers! I hope you’re all doing well,

And see ya soon!

Bossy Moksie

Peekaboo! Me looking away from the mirror in my lap to look at YOU. See, I do love you guys!

McDreamy Mug Shot, WTF Ladies?

Published June 23, 2014 by bossymoksie

Ladies.

NO.

Just, no. Stop.

mcdreamy mugshot

More like McNightmare than McDreamy….

Calm it the fuck down. Step away from the mug shot and ‘Like” button. Get off your ass, and go meet some available, real life guy that doesn’t have a rap sheet of carrying weapons illegally and using them on people.

You are embarrassing yourselves right now.

I hate, HATE!, to say this but I am so Team Guys-Who-Complain-About-Women right now.

 

Why Being Bitch-tacular Is Necessary

Published June 20, 2014 by bossymoksie

Hello my peeps! Just dropping in to say hi and let you know I’m still alive and kicking. I’ve been out summer-ing and enjoying being away from the laptop. (I’m also enjoying making up new words!)

I just wanted to give props to Introverted Playboy and a post he did about women who act bitchy towards men in the dating scene. He made great observations as to why some of us act this way and it is spot on! (He also makes suggestions as to how to deal with it, also spot on).

If you’re too lazy or uninterested to read, it’s basically a defense mechanism. It’s a way to lessen the number of interactions that we give our undivided attention to. And not waste time with guys we don’t like, for whatever reason. If you have multiple dudes approaching you all the time, not just the club, and most of them act entitled, aren’t attractive or interesting to you, or obviously just trying to waste your time to get something they want, you’re not always gonna be in a good mood when you are approached!

Honestly, whenever I notice a guy noticing me, or when a new guy speaks to me even, I am already on the defense. My smiles and friendliness are earned! I have to see that you are cool and not a weirdo first. I could be laughing up a storm and clowning it up with a group of people, male or female, but as soon as a new guy enters my sphere to directly interact with me, the bitch shield goes on stand by.

We can’t be Miss America and be all smiles to everyone all the damn time. It’s really not my job in life to reinforce your attractiveness or worth as a man by coddling you when you step up to me. I’m sorry if that took you a lot of nerve to come over and say hi, which I’ve learned from the blog-o-sphere is a pretty large feat for guys. But it is definitely not my job to affirm every single fucker who has the inclination to approach me and take up some of my time and space unless there is some sort of job out there where I can get paid to do that. If there is, please email me and let me know where I can apply! Don’t take it personal.

P.S.- Sometimes I may be in a bad mood that has nothing to do with you at all. Again, don’t take it personal.

That is all.

Happy Summer-ing!

 

Because They Can

Published May 3, 2014 by bossymoksie

I have a friend that’s doing the whole online dating thing. She was supposed to go out on a date with this guy on the weekend. Two nights before the date, he texts her late at night and asks if she would like to come over. She calls him out on the bootie call invitation, he plays innocent. Then she cancels their date, he gets mad and insults her (something about that’s why he doesn’t date black chicks, which black chicks LOVE to hear), she has a comeback for him, then a racially charged insult-fest ensues.

After texting all her friends a snapshot of the text exchange so we could all have a nice laugh , she lamented why guys still did the text bootie call thing.

Because they can.

Okay. I have to talk about this bootie call thing. Unlike my dear friend, I am not shocked that men fish for this. Guys do it because it works. Some girls will say no. But then there are others who will go for it. Guys are about results. They do what works and then they beat it to death until it doesn’t work anymore. Asking girls to come over late at night works. It just does. Is this the guys fault? Hell no. If no girl ever fell for that BS, guys would stop doing it.

True story.

It’s just logic.

I can’t even be that mad at dudes anymore. In fact I’m annoyed with the girls MORE. Because some lonely, bored desperate chick keeps saying yes telling men everywhere that this is all he needs to do to get laid. Guys do it because they can. And that charmer I mentioned above will likely have some girl up in his house at some point by doing the exact thing he did to my friend. Which was just ask in a text.

Just remember ladies, whenever a guy does something stupid to get into your pants to date you, it’s most likely because some stupid chick let him in the past. It’s our fault. Or he’s a clueless jerk. But 9 times out of 10, it’s the former.

Don’t Give a Bitch Your Credit Card

Published April 25, 2014 by bossymoksie

As I’ve mentioned before, I only like to do my job description and nothing else. If it’s not in my job description when you hire me, or promote me, I’m not doing it. And where there’s a will there’s a way. This is why I’ve never learned how to make coffee. This and because I don’t drink it. And yet, I’ve worked in several offices where people tried to make that part of my job responsibility.

It never ends up being my responsibility because I’m never the first one in the office because I’m always running late, and I’m not even drinking it and IT WASN’T IN MY JOB DESCRIPTION BITCH!

I usually get out of it by saying I don’t drink it and don’t even know how to work a coffee pot. But one job had the audacity to try to teach me. I half paid attention. Then when I had to make the coffee, I almost broke the coffee pot by flooding it. After that, they begged me to never go near it again.

Now for the main story of this post. I once had a data entry position. I was new and working a night shift. One night when I was working by myself, this supervisor FROM ANOTHER DEPARTMENT, comes over to me, and asks me if I could call Pizza Hut to order some pizza for him and his department (10 people or less) since they stayed late and were doing such a great job. I looked at him like he was crazy.

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?

This was my first week working by myself after training. Therefore, I was slow and had work to do. So, no, I was not eager to jump up and do his bidding just to impress a superior or get his approval since I was new. Especially since he wasn’t directly my boss. Furthermore, I am not one of those girls who likes to make sure other grown ass adults are fed, comforted, and taken care of. Because I don’t give a fuck. (And there were a few women that worked there that are like that and would have gladly done this). Don’t get me wrong, I love to win a popularity contest. I love for people to luuuurve me! But on my terms.

I told him that I had work to do and he should just take care of it. He persisted.

He said it would only take 5 minutes, which was complete bullshit. Because it took him 10 minutes to talk me into doing it (and me saying that WHEN my real work isn’t finished, I will tell my boss it was because of this ‘urgent’ task). Then it took him another 5 minutes to show me how to bypass the company’s software so I could get on Google to get Pizza Hut’s phone number. Adding the actual phone call, and the conversation about the stupid pizza before and after it arrived, it was about 30-45 minutes wasted on his bullshit. And I don’t play that. The only bullshit I deal with is my own. He just wanted the little lady to do it. And do it I would. He handed me his credit card and went back to his department. He even said I could have some of that shit. How nice.

I called and they said they had a special. 10 pizza’s for $10 each. I said, sign me up. Sidenote: I’ve actually had jobs where I had to buy coffee or pizza and pick items up. I gladly did it BECAUSE IT WAS IN MY JOB DESCRIPTION.

Anyway, the delivery guy arrived and I pointed him to the direction of the supervisor without even looking up. He went back there and then quickly ran out.

pizza time

You asked for it, you got it. And by ‘it’ I mean a bitch slap.

“ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS!” the supervisor screamed from the other room.

He came over to my desk.

“You ordered a hundred dollars worth of pizza?”

“Yeah, it sounded like a good deal.”

“A hundred dollars. What are we gonna do with all that pizza?”

“Eat it.”

“You must be the only person in the world who doesn’t know how to order pizza! You will never order food for this office again!” and he stomped away.

Bitch please.

The following week, he told people what an idiot I was and tried to make me feel dumb. I just laughed. I didn’t care. But the women would walk up to the supervisor and jokingly ask him for his credit card so they could order food for the office, then laugh, at him. I guess he never handed someone his credit card like that before. All the other supervisors laughed and said I won’t be doing that in my future.

THAT’S WHAT I WANTED! Do you really think my feelings were hurt? MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

As soon as I became proficient at what I was paid to do and was free from doing bullshit favors, I used my extra time Googling bullshit online, reading celeb gossip, checking Facebook, and browsing Amazon. Too bad I still didn’t have his credit card. Those dumb bitches could think whatever they wanted. My ass is only going to do what I want to do. You’re lucky I want to pull my own weight.

It’s not about working for the job, it’s about making the job work for you.

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