bitch

All posts in the bitch category

Don’t Give a Bitch Your Credit Card

Published April 25, 2014 by bossymoksie

As I’ve mentioned before, I only like to do my job description and nothing else. If it’s not in my job description when you hire me, or promote me, I’m not doing it. And where there’s a will there’s a way. This is why I’ve never learned how to make coffee. This and because I don’t drink it. And yet, I’ve worked in several offices where people tried to make that part of my job responsibility.

It never ends up being my responsibility because I’m never the first one in the office because I’m always running late, and I’m not even drinking it and IT WASN’T IN MY JOB DESCRIPTION BITCH!

I usually get out of it by saying I don’t drink it and don’t even know how to work a coffee pot. But one job had the audacity to try to teach me. I half paid attention. Then when I had to make the coffee, I almost broke the coffee pot by flooding it. After that, they begged me to never go near it again.

Now for the main story of this post. I once had a data entry position. I was new and working a night shift. One night when I was working by myself, this supervisor FROM ANOTHER DEPARTMENT, comes over to me, and asks me if I could call Pizza Hut to order some pizza for him and his department (10 people or less) since they stayed late and were doing such a great job. I looked at him like he was crazy.

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?

This was my first week working by myself after training. Therefore, I was slow and had work to do. So, no, I was not eager to jump up and do his bidding just to impress a superior or get his approval since I was new. Especially since he wasn’t directly my boss. Furthermore, I am not one of those girls who likes to make sure other grown ass adults are fed, comforted, and taken care of. Because I don’t give a fuck. (And there were a few women that worked there that are like that and would have gladly done this). Don’t get me wrong, I love to win a popularity contest. I love for people to luuuurve me! But on my terms.

I told him that I had work to do and he should just take care of it. He persisted.

He said it would only take 5 minutes, which was complete bullshit. Because it took him 10 minutes to talk me into doing it (and me saying that WHEN my real work isn’t finished, I will tell my boss it was because of this ‘urgent’ task). Then it took him another 5 minutes to show me how to bypass the company’s software so I could get on Google to get Pizza Hut’s phone number. Adding the actual phone call, and the conversation about the stupid pizza before and after it arrived, it was about 30-45 minutes wasted on his bullshit. And I don’t play that. The only bullshit I deal with is my own. He just wanted the little lady to do it. And do it I would. He handed me his credit card and went back to his department. He even said I could have some of that shit. How nice.

I called and they said they had a special. 10 pizza’s for $10 each. I said, sign me up. Sidenote: I’ve actually had jobs where I had to buy coffee or pizza and pick items up. I gladly did it BECAUSE IT WAS IN MY JOB DESCRIPTION.

Anyway, the delivery guy arrived and I pointed him to the direction of the supervisor without even looking up. He went back there and then quickly ran out.

pizza time

You asked for it, you got it. And by ‘it’ I mean a bitch slap.

“ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS!” the supervisor screamed from the other room.

He came over to my desk.

“You ordered a hundred dollars worth of pizza?”

“Yeah, it sounded like a good deal.”

“A hundred dollars. What are we gonna do with all that pizza?”

“Eat it.”

“You must be the only person in the world who doesn’t know how to order pizza! You will never order food for this office again!” and he stomped away.

Bitch please.

The following week, he told people what an idiot I was and tried to make me feel dumb. I just laughed. I didn’t care. But the women would walk up to the supervisor and jokingly ask him for his credit card so they could order food for the office, then laugh, at him. I guess he never handed someone his credit card like that before. All the other supervisors laughed and said I won’t be doing that in my future.

THAT’S WHAT I WANTED! Do you really think my feelings were hurt? MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

As soon as I became proficient at what I was paid to do and was free from doing bullshit favors, I used my extra time Googling bullshit online, reading celeb gossip, checking Facebook, and browsing Amazon. Too bad I still didn’t have his credit card. Those dumb bitches could think whatever they wanted. My ass is only going to do what I want to do. You’re lucky I want to pull my own weight.

It’s not about working for the job, it’s about making the job work for you.

Who’s the Boss?

Published March 20, 2014 by bossymoksie

Most of this blog has been dedicated to my dating thoughts and rants.

Let me take this post to rant about my least favorite subject ever: work.

office space missing work meme

Nobody misses work when they are away from it.

I have a similar attitude towards work that I have with dating. It’s about showing people how to treat you and what they should expect from you. Don’t be a doormat in either place, because people will gladly wipe their feet on you. The interview process is not unlike the first few dates of a potential beau. The hope, the excitement and newness of it all, only to be crushed by the cruel reality down the road that this one is just as disappointing and predictable as the previous ones.

This is what I’ve learned. I do not do anything more than what my job description says. Fuck that. This is what we agreed on and I am holding up my end. This is what happens when you try to go above and beyond. It becomes yours permanently! With no additional money, title, or official say in what goes on! That doesn’t bother you? That’s fine, until you realize that all you did was give Mr. Motormouth and Ms. Lazy-shit more time to talk and be fucking lazy. Because you’re doing parts of their jobs that they never got done. So while you’re slaving away, these two morons are just being morons and not doing work. And if you’re still fine with that because you like your job, you like the new put-upon tasks, and you want to impress the bosses to move up the ladder, then good luck with that.

This is what sucks about that. When your unorganized boss fucks up, which is inevitable, and suddenly there’s a big push to get a bunch of crap done in a short period of time, guess who ends up with having to push their life aside to get it done? YOU. The one who took on more than what your job is paying for. Not the unorganized boss, not lazy-shit, or motor mouth. Have fun with that pressure! Without the money or title or a choice. Keep in mind that the person who actually does get a promotion is usually the kiss ass net-worker. Why would they promote you when you’re doing such a great job of doing all the worker bee tasks whatever it is that you’re doing, plus other people’s work, without complaint?

When I get more dumped on me, I make sure that the boss and co-workers know I am doing them a favor, and this is not a regular thing. I make sure they know, whether it’s true or not, that what I have on my plate is all I can handle. They want to add more, they have to take something away. And if you’re not gonna give me more money, you sure as hell better get me a free meal, or a bunch of appreciation! Or both. They usually do! 🙂

And this recession bullshit has not changed my attitude. Now companies like to act like they are the choosy hot chick who have too many choices and can be an abusive bitch about it. We’re supposed to go above and beyond and perform back-flips at will like a desperate puppy in order to have the privilege of doing the job of three people without the title or pay. No thank you.

In fact it has made me less interested in being loyal, invested and respectful to companies. Because now I KNOW you will drop me like a diseased sack of potatoes the second your company needs to fix their bottom line so the CEO’s don’t see a dip in padding their own pockets. It’s just business. I get it. Go ahead and save your asses companies! I definitely will continue to look out for mine!

Many of my friends are being over worked and underpaid for it, companies squeezing every last breath of their time, energy, and talents from them until they want to shoot themselves in the head for sweet release. I’ll pass. I am there for a paycheck: not to kiss ass, stress myself out over bullshit or incompetence, or get anyone’s approval. I’m there to do the job I signed up for. Don’t get it twisted. Because I definitely won’t. And the moment we butt heads with that, is the moment I get another job. Because the only person I truly ever answer to, is myself. I am the one that determine’s my workload, schedule, pay, and hours. And I know where the door is if you can’t give me what I want think is fair….or if I’m bored. Just like dating, I do this on my terms. 

I’m not suggesting that everyone quit and move on, but you definitely should remember that your only real boss is YOU. You are in charge of what you give, placing your talents in the right place and in determining your worth. Act accordingly.

What I Learned from “Don Jon”

Published February 8, 2014 by bossymoksie

Have any of you seen this movie?

don jon movie

Men and women think of two different things when it comes to the term ‘happy ending’! lol

The summary and trailer are craptacular, but I liked this movie. A lot.

The trailer shows you the character more than the story. It’s really about a dude looking for intimacy but he doesn’t even know what that really is or looks like. That’s not as sexy of a description as a Jersey Shore wanna be, porn and ScarJo (all of which are in the trailer).

It’s worth watching just for the first 20 minutes when the main character, Don Jon, explains the pros and cons of getting off on porn, versus a real girl. I thought it was hilarious! I thought the last 20 minutes or so were not as realistic as the rest of the movie, but it did show how he sees intimacy differently.

And I laahved Scarlett Johannson’s character. She was the hot diva princess who demanded respect and whatever else she wanted (sound familiar? Yeah, there’s no bias here.) I knew from the beginning that she was manipulating him. She knew what she wanted and wasn’t going to settle for anything less!

However! I did not agree with her messing with his interests and ambitions (or lack thereof). She was trying to make him into something he wasn’t and I am not down with that. Let the boy enjoy his hobbies as long as it doesn’t involve sex with other women.  Her character was hugely influenced by romantic comedies and she thought true love meant that a man would do everything you asked him to, and change into whatever you needed him to be. I do not think that’s fair, especially since men have tried to pull this shit with me. Love doesn’t magically turn you into someone else just so you can please the other person. Her character was less interested in knowing the real him, whereas I prefer to get to know the guy I’m dating because I’m nosy and knowledge is power.

Look, as much as I’d love to mold a man like my own personal play-doh puppet, I know it’s just not possible because I’ve already tried. At best it’s temporary. He’s gonna revert back to his same self. And guess what? That’s what you’re gonna get stuck with. So I just take what I see at face value and judge whether or not I can hang with that.  The main things I’m demanding about is how our interactions will go and how he treats me but it’s not limited to just that.

So what did I learn? The realization that hit me like a ton of bricks was that some men, or boys, don’t know the difference between intimacy and lust. I know women confuse lust and intimacy, as well as fantasy with love, because I am one and from listening to my friends analyzing the shit out of their guy when the reality is right under their noses. I don’t know why I thought men would automatically know the difference.

Looking back at a few past relationships, I can see that the guys were more in lust with me than in love. And I think we both confused that lust for love. They played nice and ‘put up’ with me and my crazy and not-so-crazy demands because they thought that’s what it would take for us to be close and be in a real relationship. But it’s not. And while they would comply with some things, they would be really selfish with others. They obviously cared about me, because they aren’t monsters, but they seemed unsupportive, dismissive sometimes. Then I would label them as jerks and then fuck with them and the relationship. Just cuz. But now I see that, perhaps, they weren’t doing it on purpose, we both just didn’t know what the fuck we were doing! We didn’t know how to get closer or didn’t really want to.

I don’t want to downplay sexual attraction and lust, I do think it’s a good thing to have in a relationship! (And blogger, Introverted Playboy, gives a great argument for why here.)

Anyway, the movie did a great job at showing the differences between what men and women expect love to look like and the way media influences them (porn and rom coms).

I wish romantic comedies were more like this, more honest and a dash of intelligence and without the implied ‘they lived happily ever after, they never had any problems after that or wanted to strangle each other and they always look like a perfume ad’.

Because in real life, once you get into the the relationship, it isn’t happily ever after, it’s just more work!

Here’s the craptacular trailer if you want to check it out:

Bossy and Lovin It

Published December 22, 2013 by bossymoksie

Have you seen this commercial?

There’s lots of discussion on Youtube,Twitter and other online forums about feminism, political correctness and blah blah blah.

Actually some of the comments are interesting. Like one guy asking when the ‘male version’ would come out. I’d really like to see it. Seriously, no joke.

Anyway, I love it for now. I connect with this commercial on a personal level. I have been called ALL of these names in a negative context, by both men AND women. And even by a few of my haters on this blog.

And I’ve never cared.

One of those names is used as the title for my blog! I enjoy my life, for better or worse. I am who I am and I love it. You don’t like it, you know where the door is, and you can let it hit you on your ass on your way out.

Until next year! I hope everyone has a great holiday! I know I will.

News Bulletin: Attention All Goldiggers

Published June 30, 2013 by bossymoksie

Its a code red. I know you serious gold digging bitches already knew about this weeks ago because your query search on your Google Alert has hand delivered this news to you. But for the amateurs:

Rupert Murdoch, 82, is in the midst of getting divorced to his wife Wendi Deng, 44. The two lovebirds who had a mutual respect for sex and money and all the bullshit in between, is ending their happily ever after. She is ready for some young dick and to move on with a piece of his money.

In case you don’t know, he is worth billions and owns News Corp. His previous wife walked away with a billion.

Of course a prenup is in place, and the current soon-to-be-ex may not be walking away with as much. This divorce is particularly juicier (to the news anyway) because it’s rumored she is already sleeping with someone who can actually keep it up longer than two minutes, Former Prime Minister Tony Blair. They think Rupert is already being vicious which is adding fuel to this rumor. But Rupert, why so mad? You are nearly a hundred, you had to have known the score when she married you.  I mean you should know by NOW the facts of life and the way it works when a young pretty girl is interested in fucking an old, rich ass!!!! LOL, must be nice to still be surprised at such a late age.

The only reason why that scandalicious part of the news is important though is to keep in mind that if you married a man for money, don’t fuck up your billion dollar prenup agreement by fucking around. Take note ladies!

It’s your turn now!

So get prepared on the art of feeding someone baby food, creative ways to get a penis up and hard, and trying to not look like a nurse when you’re holding hands while walking.

Step up and collect your billion!

NOTE: A billion dollars is too ambitious for me. What does one do with a billion dollars? There’s only so many interesting shoes and dresses out there!

Although having a pool filled with hundred dollar bills to swim in would be nice…

scrooge swim in money

It’s Our Anniversary!

Published March 23, 2013 by bossymoksie
happy anniversary

Happy Anniversary to me in the blogging world!

I’m talking about me and you, bloggers!

My blog is one year old now!

It was just one year ago today that I wrote this epic post. (Which was just a conversion of that standard ‘Hello World’ post they put on everyone’s blog here at WordPress.com when you start your blog). Time does fly when you’re having fun!

One whole year! That’s a long time for me. I’m not a big fan of commitment.

It’s hard for me to commit to something for this long. To show you here is a list of things I’ve committed to for longer than one year:

-Flat Iron

-Credit Cards

french tip manicure

Yeah baby!

-Hiking while gossiping with friends (in LA)

-French Tip mani and pedi

-2 of my boyfriends

-Uggs, and yeah, I do wear them with mini skirts

-Large comfy puke pink sweater I stole from a friend’s boyfriend (it’s in the trash now but it had a long run!)

-Anything that has the combination of chocolate and peanut butter.

-And this blog!

Most of you know how hard it is to keep up with blogging this long especially when you have a life. But I told myself I would do it for at least a year and here I am! Maybe I learned something here about longterm commitment.

Sometimes you just don’t wanna go there. Instead you want to drink your ass off somewhere, have a dance off, and have a crazy laugh with your girlfriends instead. Or watch “Pretty Woman” with your latest favorite flavor of icecream and talk shit on the phone with the latest dude who is giving you attention while deep conditioning your hair. Then you remember that you hadn’t blogged in a few days, maybe even a week and you’re like ‘shit!’ I don’t feel like putting words on online, but then you remember that fucking promise you made to yourself, even though you don’t remember why.

And then, sometimes, you’re glad you showed up anyway!

I’m doing better than some of you whom have dropped the ball. Yeah I’m talking about you. Just so you know, I have abandonment issues, so you’re lucky that I’m good at making new friends until I abandon them!

Here’s to another 6 – 20 months tops before I really get sick of this shit and move onto something else.

A word or two about this blog.

People online and off have been asking me what the fuck I am doing with this thing. And my answer is: whatever the fuck I want. This is entertainment and a creative outlet for me. So don’t be surprised if things change. Or stay the same. I don’t know. It’s whatever I feel like doing especially if I do this for another full fucking year! . It’s my blogging world, and you are just visiting in it.

i love fans

Thanks for visiting! Love ya!

Ask a Bitch!

Published January 13, 2013 by bossymoksie

Where I answer your questions about love, dating and tricky relationship situations (questions in bold):

I met my girlfriend last year and I had her move in with me. My sister hates her. She lives with me also while getting back on  her feet. I have a nice house and make good money so I don’t mind. But I’m sick of her talking trash about my girlfriend.  I think it’s because she hates that I date women in their early 20s.( I’m 42) She did this with my last girl. She says that this girl is using me because I pay her bills and because she didn’t invite me to come with her to see her family for Christmas and New Year’s. I wanted to spend New Year’s Eve with her but her family lives far away and I know she really wanted to see them. How can I get my sister to back off?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Where is this girl so I can give her a high five!

You are tellin me that you spent Christmas and New Year’s Eve with your smart-ass sister instead of you’re hot ass girfriend? It sounds like your sister has your back. But I gotchu. Next time your sister brings the girlfriend up, just tell her, “Look, I like young ass and I’m willing to pay for it and look like a chump and be alone sometimes when she’s out doing things that I don’t have the energy for or that I’m not invited to. Having someone be with me for my money instead of my character doesn’t bother me. I’m okay with being used for my wallet. If I’m okay with that, then you should be. And you are an awesome sister for lookin out.”

You are okay with that right? Because that’s what you’ve signed up for.

If you want my bitchy advice, please ask away in the comments section or email me at bossymoksie@gmail.com. I will answer in a future blog post.

If you don’t want my bitchy advice, you might get it anyway.