entertainment

All posts in the entertainment category

Four Years Flew By…

Published March 23, 2015 by bossymoksie

Hello my blogging community and followers!

I guess time really does fly when you’re having fun. And when you disappear for 10 months. 

I know, I know. You miss me. And I miss you. But I’ve been lazy busy with life stuff and haven’t had a chance to write. I’ve never forgotten you except anytime I was away from my computer plus many, many many other times. You were always on my mind except for when you weren’t.

And then I realized shit! today is my blog’s FOUR YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!!!!

another year of putting up with me

So to honor my blog still being here and not deleted by WordPress due to neglect I decided to write you guys a quick shout out. And to let you know I will be back. So hang in there!

I will also honor it with something I do to honor just about anything, any day, any time this:

champagne toast

A toast to me! … and my followers.

Cheers! I hope you’re all doing well,

And see ya soon!

Bossy Moksie

Peekaboo! Me looking away from the mirror in my lap to look at YOU. See, I do love you guys!

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“The Apology”: Review of a Bloggers’ Book

Published December 20, 2013 by bossymoksie

There are two types of blogs I read.

One are dating blogs: PUA (or pick-up artists), women dating, and men dating.

The second are what I call the ranters: These are people who go on hilarious, and often brilliant rants about whatever subject they feel worthy.

And one of those is Essa On Everything.

Essa also writes books, and had one on Smashwords for free so I decided to check it out. It’s a novelette called “The Apology”. It’s fifty-six pages and a short read. She mentioned that it was free because it was not her best.

The set up is a woman who witnesses her crime lord husband murdering someone, then runs away with a former high school crush who coincidentally showed up to apologize to her for humiliating her before prom in high school, in order to clear his karma and bad luck he’s endured since the incident. It’s short, it’s sweet, it’s to the point (unlike my previous sentence).

What I will say about the book is that it keeps you wondering what will happen next. Which makes the book an even quicker and fun read. I also like how it brings you into a different world and introduces you to subjects you normally would not be introduced to in your regular club-hopping, gossiping, blogging, hair-pampering life. Like animal smuggling. Or Florida.

Sal, a supporting character, (and the lead in her other three books) is very interesting and entertaining. It’s a great intro to her character because I wanted to know more about her and spend more time with her.

The one thing I didn’t like was that the train of thought of the two leads didn’t always add up. I just couldn’t buy some of their thoughts, and the actions that followed those thoughts. It only happened a few times though. This is coming from the person who yells at the movie screen and TV when the characters do something I think is stupid, or not what I wanted them to do. Which is most of the time. And yeah, I know it’s fiction and that the characters can’t hear me. I don’t care, I’m gonna speak up anyway!

That didn’t take away from the adventure and drama (and action!) in the book and at least I cared about the characters and what happens to them.

Here’s where you can get it. It’s a good beach read, or airplane read, or waiting-in-line book, and you’ll probably finish it in one sitting. 

When Boys Attack: Story 3

Published April 14, 2013 by bossymoksie

Back to our regularly scheduled program before you male bitches start getting big heads.

This is a story I had written about before, in the early days of my blog as it was going down. I wanted to give the full story because it amuses me how things went down between me and this guy. You don’t have to read my previous post on this guy to watch the video.

A few things.

I’m not doing any theory in the video. If you want my thoughts on why you shouldn’t half ass ask a girl out, you should read this.

I also mention how I don’t go out of my way to help this guy in asking me out. You can read why I don’t do that shit here. Dear ladies, notice how even though I was semi-rooting for this guy to succeed, I still didn’t go out of my way to make this date happen. I am not the one to play hide-n-go-seek-a-date with a guy and I’ve already written the perfect example of why you shouldn’t.

Lastly, I introduce the concept of ‘the question mark’. I did go into detail but I edited it out because I wanted to focus on the story. I will write a post about this concept later this week.

Enjoy!

Friday’s Featured Blogger – Bossymoksie

Published April 5, 2013 by bossymoksie

I was interviewed by fellow comedic blogger Essa Alroc. I have given her a few shout outs on my blog in the past, since I am a fan. If you read my blog for the humor and brilliance, then you should definitely check her blog out. But for now, check out my interview with Essa about my fantabulous blog! Or else.

Essa On Everything

bossy pic

Subject: Bossymoksie
Location: A Radio Station in Los Angeles

 

I arrive at a radio station just outside LA. I was supposed to by interviewing Bossy at her place, but when I arrived, I was told that she flew into a rage and stormed out to go confront the radio host Dr. Laura.

I arrived at the radio station only to learn she has beaten the conservative talk show host to death with a hammer and has hijacked her show.  I give her a thumbs-up through the window and she waves me in as she takes another call.

“I’m talking to Lisa, from Washington. Lisa, go ahead.”

Lisa’s voice booms from the headset I have just put on. “Yes, I’m pregnant with my fifth child. My husband just recently told me he wants me to go back to work after I have the baby because he can’t support…”

“Let me…

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I’ve Got 99 Problems, But Being a Bitch Ain’t One

Published February 4, 2013 by bossymoksie

I’ve got critics saying that I’m a goldigging narcissist. I’ve said that myself, genius, what kind of insights are those?

It’s like telling me that I have brown eyes or big boobs. I see all this when I look in the mirror. I know who and what I am. I love to look in the mirror a lot because I love what I see. And because I’m a narcissist. If you don’t like it, carry yo ass. There’s plenty of things to do on the internet. The world wide web is huge. Besides, they say it like it’s a bad thing.

i love haters

Hating is just a special way I’ve saying I love you, even though I don’t want to.

Hating is so high school. And a few anonymous commenters will never be able to compete with a 15 year old girl when it comes to haterade.

See, you thought high school was a place to learn your math, english, history and all that bullshit. No. High school is where you are socialized. You are being initiated by your peers and prepared for the real world on how to deal with people around you. It’s a rite of passage. So while boys initiated each other by giving each other wedgies, bragging about seeing boobies, or handing out black eyes, girls learned how to psychologically scar a bitch for life, inside and out. You learn where best to stick the shank, and when, even if it’s 2 years later, all while smiling at a frenemies face the whole time. Girl World is real. And I graduated with honors.

In junior high, I was easy going and cool with everyone. I was that wacky friend. And I was okay with that. I like having fun and a good time. It’s what I’m about. Then the puberty happened, and kids started acting crazy. And, yeah, puberty got me too. After that, suddenly I was the center of most people’s attention. Awesome. People either kissed my ass or were threatened by me. Everyone wanted me as a friend or a fuck. The drawback? I had to contend with behaviors from everyone’s insecurities and hang-ups. And who isn’t insecure at that age?

I had a BFF who I had known since the beginning of junior high. We did everything together. We went shopping together, we had slumber parties, we browsed magazines together, we dieted together, we tried to get classes together, we swore we would always be there for each other. This bitch. She sold me out to a boy she liked because she was afraid that he was more into me than her. She told him embarrassing things and talked shit about me behind my back to him. And she even tried to backhand compliment me TO MY FACE when this dude was around. I couldn’t believe it. All for the attention and approval for a  dude we barely knew. And she got him, eventually. I felt so betrayed. I cursed the Gods. I swore we would never be friends. I was really, really hurt. Just like I’m sure she was hurt when I stole that guy from her. Especially since all I had to do was talk to him on the phone a few times and she had stalked him, talked shit about me and given him blowjobs. Bitches needed to know that I am not the one.

queen bee

Queen Bee: it’s a dirty job but someone has to keep the others in line.

This is what I learned about haters. For once, it’s not really about me. I just represent something that makes them feel frustrated, insecure, or inferior about themselves or worldview. And that’s a personal problem. If they have self-esteem issues, then comes the haterade. What they don’t know is that they are serving up their own bullshit insecurities on a silver platter to the very thing that threatens them. ME. The bitch. So thanks. I’ll be having that with my lunch.

haterade for lunch

Haterade: It’s what’s for lunch. Tastes like chicken.

Also, now that I’m older and slightly wiser, I know that I don’t really have to get back at haters. They’re already miserable. You really can’t do something that they’re not already doing to themselves. So now I just sit back and laugh. Well, I try anyway. ; ) And carry on with my bad self. Doing well and feeling great is always the best revenge.

You can take the people out of high school, but you can’t take the high school out of some people.

If you’re having self-esteem problems I feel bad for you, son. I’ve got 99 problems but being a bitch ain’t one.

Ask a Bitch!

Published December 15, 2012 by bossymoksie

Where I answer your questions about love, dating and hairy situations (questions in bold):

Christmas shopping adviceI don’t know what to get my girlfriend for Christmas. She can be really picky and already has everything. She complains how everyone buys her lotions every year so I can’t do that. I want to get her something special. I was going to get her jewelry but there’s gold and white gold and silver. I don’t know which one she likes and I can’t read minds. I didn’t know there were that many choices. Help?

I know this may require a some effort but bear with me. Pay attention to her for 24 hours.

What does she mostly talk about? How is her room decorated? Is there a bunch of gold jewlery in her jewelry box? Or silver? What’s her favorite TV show? These are all clues she leaves you about her interests and personality. After you have covertly discerned what makes her tick. get her something that is in line with that. Whether it’s glittery accessories for her cell phone, the latest “Hunger Games” book, or the diamond stud earrings she stared at for 2 hours while you waited, bored, wondering what you were gonna eat for lunch.

Easy. See? You don’t have to read minds.

Or you could ask her directly. It’s not as romantic but it’ll do.

What should I get my man as a gift for Christmas? We’ve only been dating for 3 weeks.

A blowjob. You can make it festive by clicking here.

If you want my bitchy advice, please ask away in the comments section or email me at bossymoksie@gmail.com. I will answer in a future blog post.

If you don’t want my bitchy advice, you might get it anyway.

Belated Ask a Bitch!

Published September 30, 2012 by bossymoksie

I’ve been down with a nasty bug or something. And while my minions have been doing things for me, blogging was not one of them!

But here I am, answering your questions about love, life and hairy situations (questions in bold):

I have a crush on a guy at work. We talk about everything, he texts me all night long after work, and we sometimes take long lunches together. I was pissed when he told me was dating someone, all those talks and he never mentioned her. We are friends now but still talk all the time. It sucks to be on the side and now he talks about his girlfriend to me more. It’s just not fair. Why her and not me. We still talk all the time.

That sounds like a great arrangement! For him. So while you are mooning over him, he gets his ego boosted from all your attention and then gets to fuck his girlfriend. And who do you have holding you and fucking you? Yeah. Stop giving him so much attention. Don’t let him continue taking up so much of your headspace. You have to make room for someone who’s actually available and appreciates you. That is what you want? Right?

How do you get over an ex?

Me? I make sure I think about all the things that annoyed me about him over and over. Then I make sure that I look amazing 24/7. Yes, even when I’m going to bed by myself. Even if I’m just checking the mail. And especially if I’m in a place where I might run into him. Lastly, I do anything and everything that I think is fun and makes me feel good. How do you get over an ex? I would suggest you do the same as me  but most likely you’re just gonna cry and bitch to your friends and possibly stalk him on Facebook.

I really like this girl. I know you say be cool, but it’s hard. I don’t wanna say something that will turn her off, or make her avoid me. And I want to know if she likes me too. How do I stay cool and find out if she feels the same?

Imagine her naked. j/k

Just remind yourself that she’s just another human being you are trying to get to know and connect with and not a mystical mermaid who rose from a sea mist of rainbows to mingle with mere mortals. Again it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. You want to have fun with her right? Then when you’re around her make sure you are having fun! How to know if she likes you? Body language, body language, body language. Learn it, live it, love it.

If you want my bitchy advice, please ask away in the comments section or email me at bossymoksie@gmail.com. I will answer in a future blog post.
If you don’t want my bitchy advice, you might get it anyway.