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All posts for the month February, 2013

I Know You Love Me!

Published February 28, 2013 by bossymoksie
very inspiring blog award

Not just inspiring, but VERY inspiring.

The month of Love has seen many new people visiting my blog and getting hooked, some more passionate and vocal than others. And my attention whoredom has LOVED IT! Thanks everyone who stopped by. And I want you to know, I love you too when it suits me.

I’ve recieved another award from DreamShadow59. And I don’t really do the rules on these things anymore because, I don’t want have to.

But I am always ready to brag, and share the love with others. Thanks DreamShadow59!

In other mutual fanfest news, I was tagged by The Narcissist and this means I have to answer questions about myself. Of course I have the time and energy to follow that rule!

Here goes:

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
South America! Dual citizenship (there and USA). So if I ever need to leave one country after committing a crime, I will already have a passport from another country to use to escape! It’s the only cool thing I can think of about having dual citizenship.
WERE YOU NAMED AFTER SOMEONE?
What do you think? If you can’t think, the answer is no.
IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN, HOW MANY DO YOU HAVE?
n/a
HOW MANY PETS DO YOU HAVE?
None. Too much work. Does my hair count? It’s a lot of work!
YOUR WORST INJURY?
I burned my elbow with my mom’s iron when I was kid. Scarred for life, which is why I never iron. That and because I don’t want to.
DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Everything.
WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE THING TO BAKE?
I hate to cook but I do like to bake and lick all the bowls and utensils. Then I bring all the sweetness goodies to work and let all my bored (and boring) co-workers eat them. Cookies, cakes, cupcakes. I do it all the time. And by all the time, I mean 3 times a year.
FAVORITE FAST FOOD?
I don’t eat that shit. Unless it’s dessert. The only fast food I will do is Chipotle and Fatburger/Five Guys. I can’t even drive near a Burger King without wanting to barf a little in my mouth (their grease has a distinct smell to me).
WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Not so much.
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Whether or not I will like them.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
 Don’t remember. The break-up I guess? Or the flu after.
ANY CURRENT WORRIES?
More sleep, I guess?
NAME 3 DRINKS THAT YOU DRINK REGULARLY
Mixed alcoholic beverages, water & tea. In order of importance.

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE BOOK?

Does not compute.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE A PIRATE?
Hell yeah. Not the modern ones that piss off the navy. The old-school ones that had frilly shirts, long hair/wigs, and an eye patch. And gold. Lots of other people’s gold.

FAVORITE SMELLS?

New car smell. Baked goods. Garlic flavored foods. Good smelling cologne on a guy. Which basically sums up a good date.

WHY DO YOU BLOG?
Mainly to entertain myself with humorous musings on my thoughts and experiences.  And be a bitch.
WHAT SONG DO YOU WANT PLAYED AT YOUR FUNERAL?
“My Way” by Frank Sinatra. There’s always some old dude singing this song in cowboy boots at the karoake bar I used to go to. I want this song played, and sung by one such man.
http://youtu.be/twExUKaDvIg
WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
Does not compute.
FAVORITE HOBBY?
Mindfucking naughty boys. Blogging of course!

WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A FRIEND?

Sense of humor, likes to drink.

NAME SOMETHING YOU’VE DONE THAT YOU NEVER THOUGHT YOU’D DO

Keep up with this blog for more than a few months!

FAVORITE FUN THINGS TO DO

Drinking, partying, shopping, good conversation, laughing, sex, meeting new people, a great beauty salon experience, talking smack. There’s probably more.

ANY PET PEEVES?

I can’t believe I can’t think of any right now. But when I do I will edit this post!

WHAT’S THE LAST THING THAT MADE YOU LAUGH?

Joshie-poo always makes me laugh.

Friendzoning: A Girl’s Take

Published February 22, 2013 by bossymoksie

Made a video on my thoughts on the friendzone.

This isn’t about whether or not guys and girls can be friends or should be. This is about whether you should use the friendzone to get a girlfriend or get in her pants.

My short answer if you’re too fucking lazy to watch is DON’T DO IT. Save yourself and everyone else time.

This is also one of the reasons why I’m not a fan of so called ‘nice guys’. Yeah.

I got the topic idea for this video after watching Tripp’s Advice video series on avoiding and getting out of the friendzone. If you want his advice on that, check them out. The links are below:

How to Avoid the Friendzone Part 1

How to Avoid the Friendzone Part 2

How to Avoid the Friendzone Part 3

How to Avoid the Friendzone Part 4

Getting Girls Drunk: Beware!

Published February 19, 2013 by bossymoksie

drunk girls**I wrote this post as a guest blogger for a private blog last year. I apologize if a few of you have already seen it. But I know most of you haven’t!

Getting girls drunk for a quick lay is very sneaky, and very douchy. And just plain lazy. Yet it’s accepted as a common thing, even by slutty girls themselves. Jaime Fox made a hit song about it, and us ladies do like to blame the booze for being slutty. Here’s the thing, I know whether or not you are ever getting any, pre-booze. Drinking will not make a difference. And I think most girls do too. They just act like the booze loosened them up. Guess what, they were already loose.

I’ve had those times when dudes tried to get me plastered to see what they could get away with. It usually ends badly. For them.

Scene: Gay club. I was out partying with my friends, some of which were not straight. (Straight girls and gay guys, always a fun mix and a recipe for a sitcom!)

We met this guy. My gay guy friends were trying to cruise him, but he was a bit more interested in chatting up us ladies. Should’ve been a clue. This guy was a mole! He was undercover. Cuz he was straight and did not reveal that until I said many nasty things about fucking. I would not have taken that route had I known he was straight because I wasn’t wanting to go home with someone that night. Which was why I was at a gay club! But he could get away with it because he was hot. We all went to another bar together, where he bought me many drinks. And of course he invited me back to his place. I said no but I would definitely call him another night.

As the night went on and we were kicked out of the clubs because they were closing, my gay friend told me to call this dude so we could all go over there. I guess his thinking was if he wasn’t gonna get any that night, one of us should. If you think all girls competing for one guys dick attentions affections for one night is weird and annoying, try throwing a gay guy into the mix. I told him it was not a good idea, as I felt really, really drunk and tired. He called the dude himself from his phone. (Um, when did he get that dude’s number?) We were going over.

So we all get in front of the TV and drink some more. And of course the dude and I start making out in front of everyone. He wants to take it to the bedroom. As we walk in making out, I suddenly see two of him, three of him, four of him. The walls in the room start to move. I stop kissing him.

“I think I have to go pee. “ I say. He stops. “You have to go pee?”

“Yeah.” I push him away, feeling physically sick and claustrophobic.

“Are you sure?” He asks, suspicious that I want to stop.

“Yes, I’m fucking sure. Where’s the bathroom?”

He shows me.

“Are you sure you’re not going to throw up?” He asks, suddenly all psychic and shit.

I get belligerant, like the drunk I am. “I’m sure bitch! I know what I gotta do and what I gotta do is go pee!”

He has now returned to being one person instead of four, but his one self is pissing me off. I go to the toilet and he watches me.

“Excuse me, I know how to go pee. Privacy!”

He steps out and I slam the door in his face.

I sit back on the toilet and pee. Who does he think he is, I know how to go to the bathroom, I know when I have to go to the bathroom, does he think I’m an idiot or something? What the fuck is his problem? Of course I have to go pee with all those drinks he got me! Probably just to loosen me up like a jerk! He’s a fuckin jerk, that’s what his problem is. I don’t wanna make out with his jerk-ass anymore and I don’t feel good anyway, fuckin jerk. Who does he think he-

Blaaahhhhh-

I threw up. All over his floor.

Shit! I stop peeing and pull up my panties and pull down my skirt. I need to stand up and turn around and face the toilet before I-

Blaaaaaaaah-

All over the wall and the toilet paper holder.

Ooops. Shit.

I am finally facing his toilet and go to kneel down.

Blaaaah-

All over the toilet seat. But I made some of it into the toilet! Score! I hurl once more and think that it’s done.

I stand up and go to the sink. Okay, I’ll just wash up and tell him I’m going home. I look at the mess. How was I gonna hide this from him? I could just walk out and slip quietly into the night. And then call my gay friend and tell him I’m at the car and then-

Blaaahhhh.

Into the sink.

Damn! Thought I was done. I turn to head back to the toilet.

Blaaaah.

Into the tub.

Damn! How much did I eat that day???

I get back to the toilet.

Blaaa, blaaah blaaaah-

Just then the door bursts open. It’s the dude.

“Excuse me! Can I have a moment please-!“ I say, indignant, barf on my chin.

“You puked all over my bathroom!”

He was right. It was all over the place. Literally. Damn, how did I even do that? My friends come up behind him and see the bathroom. They start laughing. And then I start laughing.

“Get out! Get the fuck out! “ He yells at me and my friends.

Now I’m laughing too because he’s a fuckin jerk and deserved it. I mean, we could’ve stayed and helped out cleaning, not me of course, too drunk. My friends hoist me up and we leave, and they sit me on the curb to be sure I’m done.

“I told you to just let me call him tomorrow.” I say to my friend. He shrugs. They are still laughing, we all laugh.

My advice? Get the girl drunk on your personality, your wit, or your charm, or even your bank account. Not on booze. Cuz as I like to say, karma is a bitch.

Ask a Bitch!

Published February 17, 2013 by bossymoksie

Where I answer your questions about love, dating and tricky relationship situations (questions in bold):

Hi. I have a question. I met a guy at a club a few weeks ago. We exchanged numbers but I thought it was strange that he had two cellphones. We talked and went out on a date. After the date I looked him up on Facebook and there are pictures of him with another girl all over it. For years. Including his main picture profile. And he only calls me back on weekends, which I thought was a little strange but I didn’t say anything. Should I ask him about it? Will I seem like a stalker for looking him up on Facebook? I don’t want him to think I’m a psycho if I’m wrong.

Who cares what he thinks! Two cellphones? He definitely has a girlfriend/wife. I would admit I stalked him looked him up on Facebook and see his reaction! I would also surprise his ass by showing up for a fake booty call on a weekenight too. But he probably wouldn’t tell you the truth. Hey, maybe the pictures are of his favorite female cousin that he’s really, really close to. And maybe pigs fly. If you are sensing something isn’t right, it’s probably not. Especially if he only calls you on weekends and not weekdays or vice versa. Next.

If you want my bitchy advice, please ask away in the comments section or email me at bossymoksie@gmail.com. I will answer in a future blog post.

If you don’t want my bitchy advice, you might get it anyway.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Published February 14, 2013 by bossymoksie
reeses valentine candy

Best candy EVER! Nom, nom, nom, nom…

Couples, enjoy each other!

Single guys, go get laid!

Single ladies, go get laid. If that’s not for you then go do something nice for yourself!

HOLIDAY MEME TIME!!!!

grumpy cat meme

Oh grumpy cat…never satisfied!


See more on Know Your Meme

meme will ferrell

Have some perspective, people.

valentines day card

More perspective!

valentines announced

And more perspective.


See more on Know Your Meme

What Girls Want For Valentine’s Day

Published February 7, 2013 by bossymoksie

Hey guys!

Finally got around to making a video. Wanted to discuss what girls really want on Valentine’s day. And more importantly, why.

Also, I have another post up on FriendFlirt. If you want to check it out, click here, it’s entitled “The Three Month Mark.”

Published February 7, 2013 by bossymoksie

Ladies! Just a few ideas on how to make your guy feel special for Valentine’s Day or any other day.

In The Mind of Men

Plundering You’re just a Dumbass! again, as Valentine’s Day is coming up (and I will now not have a date 😥 ) we forget sometimes that it is a celebration of romance. It seems commercially about how the man should romance the woman in his life – I’ve been playing with a few ideas about levelling the expectations playing field of relationships but for now, let me leave you with a list of things that we men like to hear.

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