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All posts for the month March, 2013

When Boys Attack: Story 2

Published March 26, 2013 by bossymoksie

I’m used to a few cat calls and some honking when I’m walking down the street. But for a guy to pull over, roll his window down, and then try to holla at me is so After-School-Special-meets-Lifetime movie. It makes me completely uncomfortable and I literally shut down.

Let me add that I have post traumatic stress syndrome from this scenario. A dude once pulled over, rolled down his window to ask directions and then told me he had a gun. Nothing happened (he wanted money and I had none), but it’s enough to make me never want to speak to a dude in his car EVER AGAIN. Or anyone else.
Even if I’m with other people, I will literally hide behind the other friend(s) (yeah, I’m the George Constanza of the group). Even if it’s an elderly couple driving that pulls over. Even if it’s a family packed in a minivan filled with kids. In fact I am MORE suspicious of those scenarios and think they are trying to Ted Bundy me. I don’t care, I don’t like it, and I won’t be having it!
Last year, as I walked to the store, a  car slowed down and a guy asked me if I was registered to vote. I yelled “Voting sucks!” and ran the other way. (He did remind me that I needed to register though).
A few months  ago, a dude rolled up to me and said that he wanted to tell me I was beautiful. I didn’t look at him, crossed my arms  and kept walking. “Thanks”.
He said some other stuff, something about making me something or giving me something, but I was too busy concentrating on looking like I was ignoring him to hear. “No Thanks” I said when I could tell he had stopped talking. After a moment he told me I was beautiful again and then sped off. Charming.
I can’t speak for most girls, but I will anyway. It’s a little creepy and uncomfortable. I also can’t help but think you have nothing better to do with your time then drive around and pull over to random girls walking down the street to buy some Debbie’s fudge rounds groceries like a fucking pedophile approaching children with candy.

It’s Our Anniversary!

Published March 23, 2013 by bossymoksie
happy anniversary

Happy Anniversary to me in the blogging world!

I’m talking about me and you, bloggers!

My blog is one year old now!

It was just one year ago today that I wrote this epic post. (Which was just a conversion of that standard ‘Hello World’ post they put on everyone’s blog here at WordPress.com when you start your blog). Time does fly when you’re having fun!

One whole year! That’s a long time for me. I’m not a big fan of commitment.

It’s hard for me to commit to something for this long. To show you here is a list of things I’ve committed to for longer than one year:

-Flat Iron

-Credit Cards

french tip manicure

Yeah baby!

-Hiking while gossiping with friends (in LA)

-French Tip mani and pedi

-2 of my boyfriends

-Uggs, and yeah, I do wear them with mini skirts

-Large comfy puke pink sweater I stole from a friend’s boyfriend (it’s in the trash now but it had a long run!)

-Anything that has the combination of chocolate and peanut butter.

-And this blog!

Most of you know how hard it is to keep up with blogging this long especially when you have a life. But I told myself I would do it for at least a year and here I am! Maybe I learned something here about longterm commitment.

Sometimes you just don’t wanna go there. Instead you want to drink your ass off somewhere, have a dance off, and have a crazy laugh with your girlfriends instead. Or watch “Pretty Woman” with your latest favorite flavor of icecream and talk shit on the phone with the latest dude who is giving you attention while deep conditioning your hair. Then you remember that you hadn’t blogged in a few days, maybe even a week and you’re like ‘shit!’ I don’t feel like putting words on online, but then you remember that fucking promise you made to yourself, even though you don’t remember why.

And then, sometimes, you’re glad you showed up anyway!

I’m doing better than some of you whom have dropped the ball. Yeah I’m talking about you. Just so you know, I have abandonment issues, so you’re lucky that I’m good at making new friends until I abandon them!

Here’s to another 6 – 20 months tops before I really get sick of this shit and move onto something else.

A word or two about this blog.

People online and off have been asking me what the fuck I am doing with this thing. And my answer is: whatever the fuck I want. This is entertainment and a creative outlet for me. So don’t be surprised if things change. Or stay the same. I don’t know. It’s whatever I feel like doing especially if I do this for another full fucking year! . It’s my blogging world, and you are just visiting in it.

i love fans

Thanks for visiting! Love ya!

7 Ways To Become Social With Women: Book Review

Published March 21, 2013 by bossymoksie

I know Social Kenny doesn’t need help selling his book!

But I always wanted to read one of his books and give a review. So here it is!

Imagine being able to be social in general and with hot women in one week! With this practical guide you can. That is if you do the work!

I give the girls POV on some of the social tactics Kenny suggests in his book (to add on to why the tactics can be effective).

Link to his book: “7 Ways to Become Social With Women”

**Kenny: My only gripe with this book is that you don’t put specifically how many years you’ve been studying seduction theory in your Bio at the end.

Ask a Bitch! Update

Published March 17, 2013 by bossymoksie

Where I answer your questions about love, dating and tricky relationship situations (questions in bold):

*Update from my last Ask a Bitch! post.

We had the talk and decided to keep things casual. Great! We went to a party the weekend after and she was holding hands with this other guy. I didn’t like it. I know I was wasted when I asked her about it and she said that her friend was gay and I was being possessive. I told her that I really liked her and then left the party. I knew I was too drunk and should go home. After that, whenever I text  her she wouldn’t reply or she would reply hours later. She was too ‘busy’ to hang out and she said I was too jealous like her last boyfriend. I was going to call her, but I decided, fuck it.

I concur.

If you want my bitchy advice, please ask away in the comments section or email me at bossymoksie@gmail.com. I will answer in a future blog post.

If you don’t want my bitchy advice, you might get it anyway.

Also, an update on my midnight caller. We texted a few times back and forth but never did have that catch up call. But I learned that it wasn’t a bootie call (or solely that). It was worse. He is an artist/entertainer trying to promote something.

God, I  miss LA.

When Boys Attack: Story 1

Published March 14, 2013 by bossymoksie

The other night, I received a mysterious voicemail message on my phone. The call was made at midnight and I was busy getting my beauty sleep on so it went straight to voicemail. I did not recognize the name on the voicemail message or the phone number, which had a Los Angeles area code.

Hmmm.

After accusing another male friend of playing a prank on me I ended up texting the mystery caller after a day of ???? in my head. (Sidenote: All my guy friends are trained to not call me after 10:30 pm. That’s me time. Or sexy time with someone else.)

ME: Who is this?

GUY: It’s Birthday Cake Boy*. We met at Townhouse. Sorry for the late call.

Okaaaay. Some of you know I moved from Los Angeles to the boondocks the  east coast a year and a half ago. Plus I visited Los Angeles in December.  I don’t remember this Townhouse place. I do remember getting a several free birthday cake pieces from birthday boys at several parties my friends and I crashed while we were out drinking. So that narrowed it down. But I did not remember which guy. I didn’t remember any of the guys, just the cakes.  Strawberry cake, neopolitan cake, yes there is such a cake!, a german chocolate coconut cake…

ME: I’m clueless. What month or year did we meet?

Birthday Cake Boy: You’ve been to Townhouse more than once? It was in 2011.

20-fuckin-11! RANDOM.

ME: All I remember is that I went to a lot of bars in LA, had a lot of drinks, and got hit on by lots of guys. Is Townhouse really that special that I should remember it?

BCB: LMAO. I see you’re a wanted woman. Townhouse wasn’t so amazing that night. It’s a karoake bar.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Now I vaguely remember which night it was. I was wearing a hat and there was a birthday boy that let my friends and I eat cake and run. The Veejay was also hitting on me hard and even serenaded a song for me in a mock proposal. I just remember that THAT guy was not attractive. Compared to him the Birthday Cake Boy was cute. That’s all I remember, I can’t even picture their faces, just my opinion on them.

ME: Maybe I will just have to hear your voice so I can remember. I can’t talk today but we can catch up later this week. That is if you want to catch up and weren’t calling for a booty call.

BDB: LOL. ok. I hope no man would bluntly say I called for a booty call.

ME: Stranger things have happened.

Like a mofo calling you in the middle of the night TWO YEARS AFTER GETTING YOUR NUMBER.

BDB: LOL. Indeed.

I really just want to talk to him, flirt with him and then announce that my fine ass had moved across the country.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. Booty call that!

But it will only be hilarious if that’s all he’s after.

Stay tuned!

*name obviously changed.

When Nice Guys Complain

Published March 12, 2013 by bossymoksie

I know it seems I have fallen off the face of the blogging earth. Just know my ass has been lazy busy. I’m back so you all can breath and jump for joy now.

Before we get to the good stuff, let me differentiate between my own definition of the nice guy (versus a good guy).

Good guys are just naturally good guys who do good things for people (whether these people are hot chicks or not) because that’s just who they are.

good guy greg

Good Guy Greg

My own personal definition of a nice guy: It’s guys who act nice (as a doormat or needy) in order to ‘win’ the girl of their dreams of the moment. And then they get all butt hurt and bitter when the girl didn’t fall madly in love with him because of all the butt kissing he did, and blames all women for being superficial dumbasses who will only date jerks instead of recognizing their own innate greatness and falling at their feet. Instead of maybe admitting that they lacked confidence or realistic expectations, or compatibility because they just really wanted to fuck that girl.

This isn’t strictly for guys. I know plenty of “nice” girls with their own self-esteem issues and unrealistic expectations who have their ‘ men are superficial pigs rants’ which can be fun sometimes, other times not. It can go both ways.

Just because you were nice to a hot girl, doesn’t make you entitled to fucking her. Sorry (not really). It’s just not how it works. Being nice doesn’t equal being a great catch, and more importantly, compatibility with that girl.

It’s just annoying to hear guys blame being nice for the reason why always the hot girls turn them down, when it’s really not the issue.

To explain it in her own special, magical way, here’s my girl Jenna Marbles. Watch and learn.

Look in the mirror guys and size yourself up. Take action. Take responsibility. And you will have your day of no complaints.

You’re welcome.

Ask a Bitch!

Published March 10, 2013 by bossymoksie

Where I answer your questions about love, dating and tricky relationship situations (questions in bold):

I have been dating that coffee girl for about a month now. I really like her and enjoy spending time with her. When Valentine’s Day came up, she said she didn’t want to do anything and didn’t want anything which was cool because I didn’t want to do anything. We had a date that weekend and she asked if I was ready for ‘the talk’. I said I wasn’t and we had a good time that night. Then she was ignoring some of my texts and said she was busy the rest of the weekend. We still talk everyday and  hang out on the weekend. I know we will have to do that talk but I’m not sure what to say. I like her a lot. It’s too early to be her boyfriend but I really like spending time with her. There’s no drama and she’s very chill. Very easy to hang with. But I don’t have that intense ‘gotta have her’ feeling. I don’t really miss her when she’s gone but I like it when she is around. It’s just too soon for me to judge where we are. Why do girls always want to talk about it?

Because you two fucked, didn’t you? That’s why. Guys like to close early and ignore the fact that girls get attached when they have sex with someone they are dating. Girls give in to the moment, sometimes to reassure the guy that she is also into him, or because she’s just horny and it’s been awhile and ignore the fact that girls get attached when they have sex with someone they are dating. So there’s that.

And when Holidays come up, no matter how lame, we judge how you think of us by what you give us how much you show your adoration for our wonderful, perfect selves. Since you did nothing, even though she ‘let you off the hook’ (that was just a trick ha!), she now knows your lukewarm feelings about her. Which you aptly describe in your question. If you don’t miss her when she’s not around, who cares if she ignores your texts then? Brush your shoulder off and don’t worry about it.

Oh, but if you want to address that talk, just say all the positive things and that you want to get to know her better. Leave out the ‘dont miss you when you’re not around bit’. May not go well.

If you want my bitchy advice, please ask away in the comments section or email me at bossymoksie@gmail.com. I will answer in a future blog post.

If you don’t want my bitchy advice, you might get it anyway.