bitch

All posts tagged bitch

Four Years Flew By…

Published March 23, 2015 by bossymoksie

Hello my blogging community and followers!

I guess time really does fly when you’re having fun. And when you disappear for 10 months. 

I know, I know. You miss me. And I miss you. But I’ve been lazy busy with life stuff and haven’t had a chance to write. I’ve never forgotten you except anytime I was away from my computer plus many, many many other times. You were always on my mind except for when you weren’t.

And then I realized shit! today is my blog’s FOUR YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!!!!

another year of putting up with me

So to honor my blog still being here and not deleted by WordPress due to neglect I decided to write you guys a quick shout out. And to let you know I will be back. So hang in there!

I will also honor it with something I do to honor just about anything, any day, any time this:

champagne toast

A toast to me! … and my followers.

Cheers! I hope you’re all doing well,

And see ya soon!

Bossy Moksie

Peekaboo! Me looking away from the mirror in my lap to look at YOU. See, I do love you guys!

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Why Being Bitch-tacular Is Necessary

Published June 20, 2014 by bossymoksie

Hello my peeps! Just dropping in to say hi and let you know I’m still alive and kicking. I’ve been out summer-ing and enjoying being away from the laptop. (I’m also enjoying making up new words!)

I just wanted to give props to Introverted Playboy and a post he did about women who act bitchy towards men in the dating scene. He made great observations as to why some of us act this way and it is spot on! (He also makes suggestions as to how to deal with it, also spot on).

If you’re too lazy or uninterested to read, it’s basically a defense mechanism. It’s a way to lessen the number of interactions that we give our undivided attention to. And not waste time with guys we don’t like, for whatever reason. If you have multiple dudes approaching you all the time, not just the club, and most of them act entitled, aren’t attractive or interesting to you, or obviously just trying to waste your time to get something they want, you’re not always gonna be in a good mood when you are approached!

Honestly, whenever I notice a guy noticing me, or when a new guy speaks to me even, I am already on the defense. My smiles and friendliness are earned! I have to see that you are cool and not a weirdo first. I could be laughing up a storm and clowning it up with a group of people, male or female, but as soon as a new guy enters my sphere to directly interact with me, the bitch shield goes on stand by.

We can’t be Miss America and be all smiles to everyone all the damn time. It’s really not my job in life to reinforce your attractiveness or worth as a man by coddling you when you step up to me. I’m sorry if that took you a lot of nerve to come over and say hi, which I’ve learned from the blog-o-sphere is a pretty large feat for guys. But it is definitely not my job to affirm every single fucker who has the inclination to approach me and take up some of my time and space unless there is some sort of job out there where I can get paid to do that. If there is, please email me and let me know where I can apply! Don’t take it personal.

P.S.- Sometimes I may be in a bad mood that has nothing to do with you at all. Again, don’t take it personal.

That is all.

Happy Summer-ing!

 

Bossy and Lovin It

Published December 22, 2013 by bossymoksie

Have you seen this commercial?

There’s lots of discussion on Youtube,Twitter and other online forums about feminism, political correctness and blah blah blah.

Actually some of the comments are interesting. Like one guy asking when the ‘male version’ would come out. I’d really like to see it. Seriously, no joke.

Anyway, I love it for now. I connect with this commercial on a personal level. I have been called ALL of these names in a negative context, by both men AND women. And even by a few of my haters on this blog.

And I’ve never cared.

One of those names is used as the title for my blog! I enjoy my life, for better or worse. I am who I am and I love it. You don’t like it, you know where the door is, and you can let it hit you on your ass on your way out.

Until next year! I hope everyone has a great holiday! I know I will.

The Non-Boyfriend Rules

Published December 15, 2013 by bossymoksie

Sometimes, guys like to make friendships all blurry. They imply that something more may, or may not be going on in order to get you to warm up to them, open up to them, and confuse you. It’s a strategy used if they’re too scared to be direct, or are unavailable to commit to a real relationship with you.

Here’s my opinion, if you want a real fucking girlfriend, then stop being a pussy and go get one. If you want to just get laid, then don’t act like a boyfriend. This only makes shit confusing. You know what mixed messages tell me? To not take you seriously. Ever. You are solely for my entertainment and amusement. Mixed messages tells me you’re afraid and unsure, and I’m not investing anything in that BS. And I have a good bullshit meter that I use for your bullshit, not mine.

Being all half-assed and sneaky about what you want isn’t going to help you. If you officially want me, then I need to know that you officially want me. I hate when a guy asks me to ‘hang out’ casually and then I later find out this is a fucking date where you get to try to grope me or stick your tongue in my mouth or try to take up my Saturday nights for all infinity. No bitch. You don’t get off that easy.

I’ve created some rules for friendships with the opposite sex, so that we’re both clear on the reality that this is just casual.

And ladies, if men are doing the prohibited things on this list, just know that you are in mixed messages land. For your sake, if you’re into the guy, I hope it’s just a case of him being shy and not just waiting for an opportunity to boredom bang you.

RULES FOR GUYS FRIENDS AND FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS:

1-No phone calls before 10 am, or after 10 pm. I can call you if I want to. But I don’t need you bugging me when I am getting my beauty sleep or am with someone else. No texting either unless its an emergency. Being horny is not an emergency. Also, you cannot contact me everyday. 2 to 3 times per week MAX. Otherwise you dudes start falling in love, and telling me all your secrets and fears. I don’t have time for all that. But you know who would? A real fucking girlfriend.

2-We cannot spend more than 2 days in a row with each other. Unless we are traveling somewhere and you are funding it.

3-No physical affection. This means no touching below the waist. You may get a greeting hug or goodbye hug. No holding hands, linking arms is okay, especially if I’m drunk. Do not touch my face or hair. I don’t care if there’s a tarantula eating my face, HANDS OFF!

4-No double dates. Group outings are okay.

5-I do not want to have dinner with your (insert family member or important person in your life).

6-Paying for our outings are okay, as long as you obey are aware of the rules.

7-Don’t worry about knowing memorizing the rules. I will gladly remind you.

8-(For FWB only) I choose what we do in the bedroom. You can ask all you want. I will say no all I want. There are no negotiations. You don’t have a leg to stand on, this is casual and not serious which means your desires are not taken seriously. You know who might take those desires more seriously? A real fucking girlfriend.

Friday’s Featured Blogger – Bossymoksie

Published April 5, 2013 by bossymoksie

I was interviewed by fellow comedic blogger Essa Alroc. I have given her a few shout outs on my blog in the past, since I am a fan. If you read my blog for the humor and brilliance, then you should definitely check her blog out. But for now, check out my interview with Essa about my fantabulous blog! Or else.

Essa On Everything

bossy pic

Subject: Bossymoksie
Location: A Radio Station in Los Angeles

 

I arrive at a radio station just outside LA. I was supposed to by interviewing Bossy at her place, but when I arrived, I was told that she flew into a rage and stormed out to go confront the radio host Dr. Laura.

I arrived at the radio station only to learn she has beaten the conservative talk show host to death with a hammer and has hijacked her show.  I give her a thumbs-up through the window and she waves me in as she takes another call.

“I’m talking to Lisa, from Washington. Lisa, go ahead.”

Lisa’s voice booms from the headset I have just put on. “Yes, I’m pregnant with my fifth child. My husband just recently told me he wants me to go back to work after I have the baby because he can’t support…”

“Let me…

View original post 1,566 more words

Ask a Bitch!

Published February 17, 2013 by bossymoksie

Where I answer your questions about love, dating and tricky relationship situations (questions in bold):

Hi. I have a question. I met a guy at a club a few weeks ago. We exchanged numbers but I thought it was strange that he had two cellphones. We talked and went out on a date. After the date I looked him up on Facebook and there are pictures of him with another girl all over it. For years. Including his main picture profile. And he only calls me back on weekends, which I thought was a little strange but I didn’t say anything. Should I ask him about it? Will I seem like a stalker for looking him up on Facebook? I don’t want him to think I’m a psycho if I’m wrong.

Who cares what he thinks! Two cellphones? He definitely has a girlfriend/wife. I would admit I stalked him looked him up on Facebook and see his reaction! I would also surprise his ass by showing up for a fake booty call on a weekenight too. But he probably wouldn’t tell you the truth. Hey, maybe the pictures are of his favorite female cousin that he’s really, really close to. And maybe pigs fly. If you are sensing something isn’t right, it’s probably not. Especially if he only calls you on weekends and not weekdays or vice versa. Next.

If you want my bitchy advice, please ask away in the comments section or email me at bossymoksie@gmail.com. I will answer in a future blog post.

If you don’t want my bitchy advice, you might get it anyway.

I’ve Got 99 Problems, But Being a Bitch Ain’t One

Published February 4, 2013 by bossymoksie

I’ve got critics saying that I’m a goldigging narcissist. I’ve said that myself, genius, what kind of insights are those?

It’s like telling me that I have brown eyes or big boobs. I see all this when I look in the mirror. I know who and what I am. I love to look in the mirror a lot because I love what I see. And because I’m a narcissist. If you don’t like it, carry yo ass. There’s plenty of things to do on the internet. The world wide web is huge. Besides, they say it like it’s a bad thing.

i love haters

Hating is just a special way I’ve saying I love you, even though I don’t want to.

Hating is so high school. And a few anonymous commenters will never be able to compete with a 15 year old girl when it comes to haterade.

See, you thought high school was a place to learn your math, english, history and all that bullshit. No. High school is where you are socialized. You are being initiated by your peers and prepared for the real world on how to deal with people around you. It’s a rite of passage. So while boys initiated each other by giving each other wedgies, bragging about seeing boobies, or handing out black eyes, girls learned how to psychologically scar a bitch for life, inside and out. You learn where best to stick the shank, and when, even if it’s 2 years later, all while smiling at a frenemies face the whole time. Girl World is real. And I graduated with honors.

In junior high, I was easy going and cool with everyone. I was that wacky friend. And I was okay with that. I like having fun and a good time. It’s what I’m about. Then the puberty happened, and kids started acting crazy. And, yeah, puberty got me too. After that, suddenly I was the center of most people’s attention. Awesome. People either kissed my ass or were threatened by me. Everyone wanted me as a friend or a fuck. The drawback? I had to contend with behaviors from everyone’s insecurities and hang-ups. And who isn’t insecure at that age?

I had a BFF who I had known since the beginning of junior high. We did everything together. We went shopping together, we had slumber parties, we browsed magazines together, we dieted together, we tried to get classes together, we swore we would always be there for each other. This bitch. She sold me out to a boy she liked because she was afraid that he was more into me than her. She told him embarrassing things and talked shit about me behind my back to him. And she even tried to backhand compliment me TO MY FACE when this dude was around. I couldn’t believe it. All for the attention and approval for a  dude we barely knew. And she got him, eventually. I felt so betrayed. I cursed the Gods. I swore we would never be friends. I was really, really hurt. Just like I’m sure she was hurt when I stole that guy from her. Especially since all I had to do was talk to him on the phone a few times and she had stalked him, talked shit about me and given him blowjobs. Bitches needed to know that I am not the one.

queen bee

Queen Bee: it’s a dirty job but someone has to keep the others in line.

This is what I learned about haters. For once, it’s not really about me. I just represent something that makes them feel frustrated, insecure, or inferior about themselves or worldview. And that’s a personal problem. If they have self-esteem issues, then comes the haterade. What they don’t know is that they are serving up their own bullshit insecurities on a silver platter to the very thing that threatens them. ME. The bitch. So thanks. I’ll be having that with my lunch.

haterade for lunch

Haterade: It’s what’s for lunch. Tastes like chicken.

Also, now that I’m older and slightly wiser, I know that I don’t really have to get back at haters. They’re already miserable. You really can’t do something that they’re not already doing to themselves. So now I just sit back and laugh. Well, I try anyway. ; ) And carry on with my bad self. Doing well and feeling great is always the best revenge.

You can take the people out of high school, but you can’t take the high school out of some people.

If you’re having self-esteem problems I feel bad for you, son. I’ve got 99 problems but being a bitch ain’t one.