Archives

All posts for the month December, 2012

Last Post of 2012 with Shout Outs!

Published December 21, 2012 by bossymoksie

Video of me trying to give shout outs without getting distracted:

If video isn’t embedded in this post, then I don’t know how the fuck to do it.

**link jic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqGxytS1MB8

Social Kenny

Reema Chronicles

Eccentric Liz

SerenityLuv

Ego in the Sea

Unklehookd

How to Date Online

Bogs PUA

Silly G

DaterofBoys

Blame It on Disney

Phoebe’s Misadventures

This Imperfect Journey

Miss Tress

Tripp Advice

ArtGirl NYC

Carcarbone

EssaalRoc

Narcissist Blog

Online Dating Journal

Thanks for keeping blogging interesting!

5 Ways to Get Over Someone

Published December 17, 2012 by bossymoksie

Just thought I’d share my ways of getting over someone after a break up for you internet people that may be going through this right now, or for future reference.

Before I get it into it , you have to know that’s it’s gonna hurt. Nothing will stop that unless you’re a sociopath. It’s just the reality. Whether your relationship was a long or short one, good or bad one, real or imaginery. Change hurts. Like when you move, or your puppy dies, or you get a hair cut. Accept it.

Now that you’ve accepted the inevitable, it’s time to medicate distract lighten that pain load as much as possible so that you can get through the next few days, weeks, months, years (Really people? Years?! It’s not like you were dating Jesus. Or Trey Songz. Or Megan Fox.) as smoothly as possible.

Megan Fox pic

Megan Fox

1) Whenever thoughts of your ex rears it’s ugly head, think about all the annoying things that angered and frustrated you. Think about all the things you did not get, but wanted and needed. It’s a good bet that at least one of these things helped lead to the break-up. If not, you now get to appreciate that you don’t have to put up with that shit EVER AGAIN. Happier now, aren’t you?

2) Get a life make-over. A chunk of your life has just been removed so you don’t have a choice, you’re life just got made over. But you can choose whether this will be a good thing, or a bad thing in the long run! This includes a mandatory physical make-over (new hair, clothes, style, getting in shape, etc.). This also includes decluttering their crap. Change things around. Change your job, change your furniture or move it around, change out your nail polishes, change out your underwear, change your goals, change your mindset.  If you really want to go drastic, change your friends and zip code! Remodel your space and your mind. The point is that this is an opportunity to change your life for the BETTER!

3) On a similar note, now that you have all this shiny, new time on your hands, it’s time to pick up some new hobbies. Anything that you’ve always wanted to try or do but didn’t because of blah, blah, blah. Now’s the time! Replace the passion of your relationship with the passion of a new interest. Frames made of shells? Bungee cord jumping? Witchcraft? Waltzing? Couponing? Volunteering to collect socks for the homeless? Go for it. This step is also great for confidence. For some reason, people get it in their heads that they are unlovable just because a relationship ended and will never find someone to love ever again. Wrong! It was a break-up, not a decree from God Almighty saying that you will be foreveralone. Calm it down and enjoy yourself. Remember why you love being you and being alive. Then you’ll remember that others have loved you and will again! Also self-love and confidence is attractive so you are steps closer to finding a replacement someone new.

foreveralone

4) Attention!!!! My personal fave. 😉 This is where the drinking, partying, friends, and flirting come in. Bitch to friends. Bitch to a blog. Laugh. Talk to strangers. This is the time to let people know you are alive and kickin! Engage with anyone who will comply. You are a rock star and rock stars require attention. People who know what you’re going through will fall in line with that out of pity. Pick up the phone and dial a number. Any number. Aunt Patty hasn’t heard from you in awhile.

Party like it's a Mayan Apocolypse.

Party like it’s a Mayan Apocolypse.

5) Rebound. This one is tricky and therefore optional. Not everyone needs to do this, while others shouldn’t. And it’s not needed after every relationship you get out of. If you do need to do this, just remember it should be fun and brief. The point is to make you feel desirable and not alone. It’s a band aid not a cure. Do not fall into another trap relationship with the same bullshit, or worse, similar to the one you just escaped got out of. If you keep falling in love with your rebounds, then this step is not for you. Please refrain.

Taking these steps should make the healing process feel at least a little bit better. And it makes you and your life better, setting you up for  a relationship that will also be better.

Merry Christmas.

You’re welcome.

Ask a Bitch!

Published December 15, 2012 by bossymoksie

Where I answer your questions about love, dating and hairy situations (questions in bold):

Christmas shopping adviceI don’t know what to get my girlfriend for Christmas. She can be really picky and already has everything. She complains how everyone buys her lotions every year so I can’t do that. I want to get her something special. I was going to get her jewelry but there’s gold and white gold and silver. I don’t know which one she likes and I can’t read minds. I didn’t know there were that many choices. Help?

I know this may require a some effort but bear with me. Pay attention to her for 24 hours.

What does she mostly talk about? How is her room decorated? Is there a bunch of gold jewlery in her jewelry box? Or silver? What’s her favorite TV show? These are all clues she leaves you about her interests and personality. After you have covertly discerned what makes her tick. get her something that is in line with that. Whether it’s glittery accessories for her cell phone, the latest “Hunger Games” book, or the diamond stud earrings she stared at for 2 hours while you waited, bored, wondering what you were gonna eat for lunch.

Easy. See? You don’t have to read minds.

Or you could ask her directly. It’s not as romantic but it’ll do.

What should I get my man as a gift for Christmas? We’ve only been dating for 3 weeks.

A blowjob. You can make it festive by clicking here.

If you want my bitchy advice, please ask away in the comments section or email me at bossymoksie@gmail.com. I will answer in a future blog post.

If you don’t want my bitchy advice, you might get it anyway.

Your Delusion is My Gain

Published December 13, 2012 by bossymoksie

I mentioned before how men and women don’t actually see a person when they first meet someone they are attracted to, and how you have to stand out. Getting to know each other is the best way to ruin your fantasy see who that person really is.  I’ve found that some people usually project their fantasy onto the person, and hope the person fits that bill. And then ride that fantasy until the person proves they can or cannot fit that bill.

How do you know when someone has ‘invented’ a connection to the fantasy of their new beau to the point of being delusional? When they move in/marry/ proclaim love/ use the word ‘ soulmates’ with someone whose last name they don’t even know. Meaning they just met two weeks ago. Or two days ago. They want the connection so bad that they are willing to fake it. Presto! They have the connection without really having it. Whatever. It’s your imaginary love life. Just know that the other person is:

a) Just as delusional as you are.

b) Gonna take advantage of it for something they want. This could range from money to sex or just simple companionship, ego stroke, or attention while waiting for something better (and more real) to come along.

c) Thinking you’re delusional and needy and run the other way, fast.

You should have enough respect  for yourself and enough of a grip on reality to to take the time to get to know someone and see if there is a real connection there. See, as I’ve said before, real intimacy is two people getting to know each other for reals. (Which takes more than four interactions.) Not one person pretending the other is their true love and ignoring who the other really is until reality crushes their precious dream because they are so desperate to find that person. Now you find yourself in a Matrix like relationship, where on the surface things look great. But the stark reality is thatthere’s  not much connection, compatibility, or intimacy is there.

matrix relationship

Will it be the red pill or blue pill for you?

I know you bitches all think that none of you are doing this, so let me spell it out. If you’ve only had a handful of interactions with someone and you KNOW that the rest of your lives will be skipping through the fields and laughing at anniversaries then you need to STOP! Because no real relationship is ever like that. Stop before someone gets hurt. That person being you.

Why would anyone do this to themselves? You tell me.

I see the delusional as a benefit for me. Same with any shrewd person or predator. So just know that when you lie to yourself, or let your ego distort your reality, you give the other person the opportunity to use it against you, and for their gain.

Is this the kind of person you want to end up with? Of course not. Is it the person you most likely will end up with? Yes.  Until you drop the delusional and get honest.

Someone’s who’s honest with themself and what they really want is hard to take advantage of. If they know what they want and act accordingly, then you can’t offer them any substitutes! No smoke and mirros will work on them! Not for longer than one night anyway.

But when a person is delusional, you can half-ass give them what they want to get what you want. You don’t even have to do that much sometimes! You can just do lip service and never follow through! The delusionals will take that! It’s not even conscious sometimes!

Your delusion is giving you the fantasy connection that you want, or so you think. But it’s really an opening for others to get what they want from you. So how’s that working out for you?

Ask a Bitch!

Published December 8, 2012 by bossymoksie

Where I answer your questions about love, dating and hairy situations (questions in bold):

My fiance and I have been together for three years. I love him very very much but, he is getting expensive! He borrows too much money from me and I am tired of it. Now I am trying to save up for a new car since my beat up Ford focus with manual windows won’t survive another year. When we first met he said he needed a hundred dollars for a car part to fix his car. I gave it to him because we were dating and were a couple. Months later, something happened with his credit card and he wasn’t able to get this 50″ flat screen TV. The deal was that he was throwing a party that weekend and we  invited a lot of people so he needed that TV. I helped him with that too. Every few months it’s something else. Then it was a $2,000 couch. And a new bed. We both were using that one! And then something else and something else. We are very committed so I don’t mind chipping in. He did pay me back for the TV in payments, but would sometimes take the payments out on dinners we went on, which annoyed me, but I didn’t say anything. And he has a good paying job, better than mine!

The latest thing is a new car. I’ve been saving for my own car for awhile but he wants me to use it to help him buy a new car and then share the new car and get rid of my car. (We would still have his). He wants to get a more expensive car than what I was looking at, a BMW. I don’t want to do it. I’ve been saving for this for a long time and I want my own new car, but we are a couple and to be married so it will be his too. Should I just go for it or get my own car?

Marry him quickly and let him spend all that money on you girl! Wait. What? You are spending all this money on big ticket items for him?

Did you help pay for your own ring too?

Listen, you obviously don’t want to buy his ass that car. So don’t. Tell him he needs to enroll in a money management class in order to save your marriage. Because once you do make it legal, your money will be his. And he will be spending it on expensive shit for him. Eventually you will want to cut a bitch get a divorce. Um, and he better be taking care you in some other kind of ways because it sounds like you’re doing alotta giving and he’s doing alotta taking. That’s an equation that doesn’t sit well with me. At any rate, you have to nip this in the bud now or else you will be buying his fancy shit for the rest of your life.

Better yet, dump that that dude and find one who will want to buy YOU that new car that you want (and need!) so badly.

If you want my bitchy advice, please ask away in the comments section or email me at bossymoksie@gmail.com. I will answer in a future blog post.

If you don’t want my bitchy advice, you might get it anyway.

Why Breaking Up is Easy To Do

Published December 7, 2012 by bossymoksie
Being alone with your thoughts is a bitch!

Being alone with your thoughts is a bitch!

I know I haven’t been sharing any of my stories lately. And that’s because some ish went down and I had to handle my business. Mr. Traveler, the guy I was dating, and I have gone our separate ways. After that I had some attention whoring readjusting to  do, and then Thanksgiving came, and then I got the fucking flu which forced me into involuntary seclusion. While bedridden and dying, I was visited by three ghosts, I was forced to re-examine what the hell happened and what is going on my life in general.  I would have rather died quietly in the middle of the night instead of having my own personal “A Christmas Carol” Moksie style the inevitable soul searching that comes when you are by yourself for long periods of time after a big change in your life.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

What happened?

There comes a point in a relationship where you realize the two of you don’t want the same things out of life. And it’s pretty much downhill from there.  Mr. Traveler was bringing up the M word and we all know how I feel about that.  That said,  I like to figure out what it is I’m going to be getting exactly in this proposition before I make up my mind.

On a side note, how is it that I end up with this marriage happy bitches? My friends complain all the time about waiting for that ring. It’s like you guys find the bitch who could care less about that and pop the question to her. SMDH. This needs to stop because I am unable to complain about it to my friends without them looking at me like I’m crazy since they believe that marriage equals love crap.

So this was what he was offering:

1. He wants five kids, which is one of his motivators in making lots of money. So he could take care of them financially. But no fucking nanny.  Excuse me, but who is going to watch the kids when I work out 6 hours a day, a la Kate Hudson style, to get my amazing figure back? Let me remind you folks that he travels a lot for work. So I will be home alone with FIVE kids who don’t know how to make a good mixed drink or carry a decent conversation. Is that really fair? He considered daycare, if I was out of the home for a good reason, like say, working. But why would I work if I’m married to someone with money?

Babies, babies, everywhere...not a moment to spare.

Babies, babies, everywhere…not a moment to spare.

2. He was down for getting a maid once a week, but with FIVE kids, the place is going to be trashed. Now, I could teach my new child army how to clean up so I don’t have to do it to help build character, but I would have to wait until they would be able to walk and talk and stuff. What would I do in the meantime?

3. My social life would be nonexistent. I would have him and a bunch of brats beautiful children, to talk to day and night and maybe get a night off, once a month, to see friends. This is unacceptable. Who is going to boss my girlfriends around about all the dating, eating, fashion, and life mistakes they are making? Who is gonna appreciate my bitchy witty comebacks and banter? What about when he is out of town and I want to flirt with someone? Are we going to Skype? Boo. How am I gonna sneak out of the house with the five witnesses kids at home not noticing?

He may as well proposed locking me up in jail with a bunch of savages fighting for immunity in a mindfuck game a la “Survivor”. FOR LIFE. With no million dollar cash prize in sight.

Maybe this is why people marry for love. Maybe that’s a better motivator to put up with all that…shit work!

Hell to the naw.

So I evaded all his ‘down the road’ talk and just told him to focus on the present and lets have fun. Boobs always help in these conversations. Why ruin a good thing with responsibilities and obligations? Then one day he asked me if I took him seriously at all. Was there any reason why I should? If your standards for a girlfriend and wife is just someone who looks good and strokes your ego laughs at your jokes, you have some pretty low standards. And now you want your trophy girlfriend to… be a wife? A real one? How does that even make sense?  Trophy wives need to polished and pampered at all times, just like the trophy girlfriend. You think I’m suddenly gonna change because you are offering me a ring attached to five babies?  I didn’t want to be mean. I’m a bitch but I’m not exactly cold-hearted. We spent lots of time together and I do care about him. I just care about myself more.  But now he is pissing me off. Does he even realize what he is asking? The dire reality of the situation? How do I respond?

“Is there any reason why I should?” I say.

Oops.

Well, that started the fight that ended the relationship once and for all.

Let’s rewind back to the beginning. Why did I even get into this relationship? I was in a new really boring state, and really bored. And we got along. We were attracted to each other. We had fun together! Sure I will miss him and all the trips and gifts he paid for. But missing someone isn’t the end of the world. For instance, when you have a big fucking couch in your living room and you decide to get rid of it, you miss it. You notice it’s gone.

Here today, gone tomorrow.

Here today, gone tomorrow.

But you know you had to get rid of it because it wanted to turn you into a baby factory was taking up too much space. And over time, you just get used to it not being there anymore. Also, now you’ve made room in your living room for someone who can afford a nanny furniture that suits your home better. So I know as time passes, the feeling of missing him will go away. And now I have all this room in my life to figure out how to be not be so bored and make life more amazing and fabulous for me! And this should keep me from wasting time with charming, rich dudes who want to turn me into a stepford wife in theory.

To wrap up, this is why I think most break ups are easy to do:

You don’t want the same things. If you don’t see the same things for each other down the road, you’re better off parting ways. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY better off. I dated him for his lifestyle and company, it’s all I wanted. And I got it. I didn’t want anything else and he wanted that to change. I always knew he was temporary so an end to the affair would be inevitable.

Ask a Bitch!

Published December 2, 2012 by bossymoksie

I know I’m a day late, but I’ve gotten some flu bug thing. So here we go.

Where I answer your questions about love, dating and hairy situations (questions in bold):

What are some good pick-up lines?

Lines are lame and unless you deliver them knowing that, you’re DOA. You should just introduce yourself or comment on the environment you’re in. Or with a joke. Save the ass kissing compliments for a rainy day later. It doesn’t really matter what you say, it’s how you say it; with confidence and knowing that you’re everything she never knew she always wanted. Still want cheesy and crappy pick-up lines? Google that shit.

Does cheating include friendship? I am really good friends with a woman co-worker and my wife gets jealous and we have fights about it all the time. I am not secually attracted to my co-worker but we work well together, we get each other’s jokes, and can talk about anything. We know each other so well but that’s all there is to it. It’s not physical at all. How can I get my wife to understand that?

Maybe she’s just jelly of missing your brilliant jokes and being the one who gets to know you so well. Most people spend more time at work than they do at home. So if you’re “on” at work and then “off” at home and coasting, your wife has a good reason to be bitchy! Try to spend some quality time with her, build some inside jokes, and keep learning about each other. It sounds like you’re attracted to and interested in your co-workers personality and mind. If you’re not as interested or attracted to your wife’s mind or personality um, why did you marry her?then you have a much bumpier road ahead.

 

If you want my bitchy advice, please ask away in the comments section or email me at bossymoksie@gmail.com. I will answer in a future blog post.

If you don’t want my bitchy advice, you might get it anyway.