I spent the weekend with Mr. Okay. It was okay. He was okay. I didn’t have anything better to do. Since I am semi-interested and super bored with myself and my life I just went. It made me think about the reasons why us ladies go out with some of you dudes. Sometimes, it truly is because we think you are our magical charming wonderful hot rich prince knight in shining armor who will never do any wrong until reality slaps us in the face.
But a lot of times, we go out with you for other reasons.
1.Because you just bought a hot dress/outfit/accessory that you can’t wear to the grocery store. It just wouldn’t be fair to the dress/outfit/accessory. You gotta show it off proper.
2.Because it’s better than looking for a job, applying for community college, cleaning your room, aka doin anything responsible. Dudes are great distractions for that. Thanks guys!
3.Because nothing is on TV! Cable channels play the same shit over and over. And how many times can you watch “Pretty Woman”? (Infinity times!) But there’s a slight chance that dudes might actually do or say something different from the last time you hung out with them.
4.Because you’re sittin at home eating a box of icecream sandwiches pack of donuts bag of mini Reece’s Peanutbutter cups fruit salad, and you’re just not feelin good about yourself. Your job sucks the soul outta you, your family annoys you with every breath they take, and you start wonderin if you should just give up on life. Hell naw! That’s when you reach out and flirt with a dude.
5.Because sometimes you are stalking an ex on Facebook gossipin on the phone innocently getting an email from a friend about how an ex is dating someone new. And you are at home, on your fucking computer! Fuck that.
6.Because you wanna go to a specific event, like a Kanye West concert or dollar margarita night and your friends won’t go cuz they are with their menz.
7.Because sometimes you are just fuckin horny and only any a man can take care of the job.
8.Because you’re broke and wanna go out. And a gentleman always pays. (And if you’re with me, you’re gentlemen, at least in the paying department.)
9.Because bitches be trippin and sometimes you wanna avoid their trips. So when they call and ask if you wanna hold their hand while they cry into a perfectly good bowl of Haagen Dazs while watching “Thelma and Louise”(after breakin up with the same dude she’s been dating and breakin up with for the past four years), you will be making already have plans.
10.Because you don’t wanna be alone. Or alone with the idea of still havin to compete with bitches when you’re 70 in a nursing home because there’s only two dudes up in there
and your boobs may be down to your knees by then, so you may not win.
11. Because of general boredom. And fuckin around with dudes is my hobby.
Did I leave any reasons out ladies?