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All posts for the month December, 2013

Bossy and Lovin It

Published December 22, 2013 by bossymoksie

Have you seen this commercial?

There’s lots of discussion on Youtube,Twitter and other online forums about feminism, political correctness and blah blah blah.

Actually some of the comments are interesting. Like one guy asking when the ‘male version’ would come out. I’d really like to see it. Seriously, no joke.

Anyway, I love it for now. I connect with this commercial on a personal level. I have been called ALL of these names in a negative context, by both men AND women. And even by a few of my haters on this blog.

And I’ve never cared.

One of those names is used as the title for my blog! I enjoy my life, for better or worse. I am who I am and I love it. You don’t like it, you know where the door is, and you can let it hit you on your ass on your way out.

Until next year! I hope everyone has a great holiday! I know I will.

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“The Apology”: Review of a Bloggers’ Book

Published December 20, 2013 by bossymoksie

There are two types of blogs I read.

One are dating blogs: PUA (or pick-up artists), women dating, and men dating.

The second are what I call the ranters: These are people who go on hilarious, and often brilliant rants about whatever subject they feel worthy.

And one of those is Essa On Everything.

Essa also writes books, and had one on Smashwords for free so I decided to check it out. It’s a novelette called “The Apology”. It’s fifty-six pages and a short read. She mentioned that it was free because it was not her best.

The set up is a woman who witnesses her crime lord husband murdering someone, then runs away with a former high school crush who coincidentally showed up to apologize to her for humiliating her before prom in high school, in order to clear his karma and bad luck he’s endured since the incident. It’s short, it’s sweet, it’s to the point (unlike my previous sentence).

What I will say about the book is that it keeps you wondering what will happen next. Which makes the book an even quicker and fun read. I also like how it brings you into a different world and introduces you to subjects you normally would not be introduced to in your regular club-hopping, gossiping, blogging, hair-pampering life. Like animal smuggling. Or Florida.

Sal, a supporting character, (and the lead in her other three books) is very interesting and entertaining. It’s a great intro to her character because I wanted to know more about her and spend more time with her.

The one thing I didn’t like was that the train of thought of the two leads didn’t always add up. I just couldn’t buy some of their thoughts, and the actions that followed those thoughts. It only happened a few times though. This is coming from the person who yells at the movie screen and TV when the characters do something I think is stupid, or not what I wanted them to do. Which is most of the time. And yeah, I know it’s fiction and that the characters can’t hear me. I don’t care, I’m gonna speak up anyway!

That didn’t take away from the adventure and drama (and action!) in the book and at least I cared about the characters and what happens to them.

Here’s where you can get it. It’s a good beach read, or airplane read, or waiting-in-line book, and you’ll probably finish it in one sitting. 

The Non-Boyfriend Rules

Published December 15, 2013 by bossymoksie

Sometimes, guys like to make friendships all blurry. They imply that something more may, or may not be going on in order to get you to warm up to them, open up to them, and confuse you. It’s a strategy used if they’re too scared to be direct, or are unavailable to commit to a real relationship with you.

Here’s my opinion, if you want a real fucking girlfriend, then stop being a pussy and go get one. If you want to just get laid, then don’t act like a boyfriend. This only makes shit confusing. You know what mixed messages tell me? To not take you seriously. Ever. You are solely for my entertainment and amusement. Mixed messages tells me you’re afraid and unsure, and I’m not investing anything in that BS. And I have a good bullshit meter that I use for your bullshit, not mine.

Being all half-assed and sneaky about what you want isn’t going to help you. If you officially want me, then I need to know that you officially want me. I hate when a guy asks me to ‘hang out’ casually and then I later find out this is a fucking date where you get to try to grope me or stick your tongue in my mouth or try to take up my Saturday nights for all infinity. No bitch. You don’t get off that easy.

I’ve created some rules for friendships with the opposite sex, so that we’re both clear on the reality that this is just casual.

And ladies, if men are doing the prohibited things on this list, just know that you are in mixed messages land. For your sake, if you’re into the guy, I hope it’s just a case of him being shy and not just waiting for an opportunity to boredom bang you.

RULES FOR GUYS FRIENDS AND FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS:

1-No phone calls before 10 am, or after 10 pm. I can call you if I want to. But I don’t need you bugging me when I am getting my beauty sleep or am with someone else. No texting either unless its an emergency. Being horny is not an emergency. Also, you cannot contact me everyday. 2 to 3 times per week MAX. Otherwise you dudes start falling in love, and telling me all your secrets and fears. I don’t have time for all that. But you know who would? A real fucking girlfriend.

2-We cannot spend more than 2 days in a row with each other. Unless we are traveling somewhere and you are funding it.

3-No physical affection. This means no touching below the waist. You may get a greeting hug or goodbye hug. No holding hands, linking arms is okay, especially if I’m drunk. Do not touch my face or hair. I don’t care if there’s a tarantula eating my face, HANDS OFF!

4-No double dates. Group outings are okay.

5-I do not want to have dinner with your (insert family member or important person in your life).

6-Paying for our outings are okay, as long as you obey are aware of the rules.

7-Don’t worry about knowing memorizing the rules. I will gladly remind you.

8-(For FWB only) I choose what we do in the bedroom. You can ask all you want. I will say no all I want. There are no negotiations. You don’t have a leg to stand on, this is casual and not serious which means your desires are not taken seriously. You know who might take those desires more seriously? A real fucking girlfriend.

Anti Slut Defense, HO!

Published December 4, 2013 by bossymoksie

If you’re not familiar with this term, Anti-Slut Defense (ASD) is a Pick Up Artist term to describe women who put up resistance to men who are trying to seduce them in order to not feel like slut. This term always makes me laugh. It makes me think of a super power that women unleash onto men that are trying to pick them up.

So when I’m reading a blog or article and the term comes up (a read a handful of Pick Up Artist blogs), I always picture a man at a bar trying to seduce a girl and then the ASD kicks in like an invisible, force-field shield stopping him dead in his tracks.

wonder woman

Anti Slut Defense system is a go! Vagina is now safe and secure.

I want to talk about the girls who’s ASD gets penetrated anyway, otherwise known as girls that are easy, or sluts. As I mentioned before, men need sluts to get laid often, and then hate the idea that women can be just as promiscuous as they can be.

I know that society, friends, family, and men haves issues with sluts, but I don’t. Because I know the truth. Women want to fuck. And we don’t always want to be in a relationship to do it, or we don’t have a relationship. But then you’re out at night,  you’ve had a few drinks, you feel really good, and the guy your with is really attractive and you’re having fun and… Oh well. Women like to dream think that men know that we are worth something of value, no matter what our sexual behavior is. We also like to believe that we are worth something more than a wet hole one night stand to some strange guy you just met and can be chaste. But damn, women are human too, and sometimes we want to have sex.

The idea of the slut does not bother me. If they are having fun with their lives, and are safe, and taking care of themselves, and enjoying it, then it’s all good.

BUT! The thing is, of all the girls I know who sleep around, I could count on one hand how many of them are actually okay with it. Not sure if it’s because we’re not built to sleep around or if we are conditioned to not be okay with it. If you do it, own it. And don’t fake own it either. People see right through that insecure bullshit mask, and even you aren’t fooled.

Slut shaming is stupid because it’s not really about the sex, it’s about what that behavior tells you about her character, or even more accurately how you interpret that behavior as a sign that she is a crappy, unlovable person. Judging her by her sexuality choices is oversimplifying.

However, there are a few behaviors that do annoy the shit out of me from sluts:

1- Playing the victim

I hate it when you are hanging out with a girl and she is grinding on five guys, stealing attention (or tries to) from every guy who even winks at you, and ends up dry humping a guy in the club. Then she goes home with him. A week later she calls you up crying that this guy used her and lied to her and everything was supposed to be beautiful pony ride to lovey dovey land. No bitch! I was there that night and I highly doubt your drunk ass remembered his name before you slept with him, let alone formed some kind of relationship with him. It’s okay, you were feeling good and wanted to get laid. I’m not judging. But you feel the need to act like you are a pure virgin living on a rainbow, and must now do this song and dance about how someone took that idea you had of yourself away from you. Whatever, I know this show is for your own ego. Because you know if you just said ‘fuck it, I wanted to fuck’, that others would think you aren’t worth a damn thing in a relationship. I am not one of those people. I don’t care how many people you fuck. I do care how many times you call me crying and fuck up my day of greatness with your preventable self pity.

If you do want a one night stand or whatever, own it. And save the bullshit for your future husband someone who gives a damn and will judge you accordingly.

2- Using Sex to “trap a man”

This has got to be the dumbest plan ever. It’s comparable to buying a new lipstick in the hopes that it will turn into a butterfly unicorn and make 10 pounds melt off your body. Sounds crazy right? It should, because that’s how fucking crazy and ridiculous it is to think a man is gonna stick around and give you everything you ever wanted just because you opened your legs at his request.

I really hate it when girls sleep with guys hoping that her sometimes company and her easy to come by vagina will be enough to interest him. And then they are shocked- SHOCKED!- when he mysteriously has a girlfriend one day that is not her. He’s not just gonna wake up one day and realize you’re amazing when you hardly spend any time outside the bedroom. Here’s a hint, he can’t see how amazing you are if you’re too busy pretending you are a blow up doll. Sex just means you’re fun in the bedroom. It doesn’t translate to anything else.

Yes, men like to have a good time. But sex is, what, maybe 20 minutes of good times? What about the other 23 and a half hours you are stuck hanging with him? That is, if he even wants to hang out with you with your clothes on. Sex may be the easiest way to get attention, but it’s always short lived. You have to have something else that will make him want to continue giving you attention. My advice is to stroke a guys’ mind, not his dick. Because it’s the ego’s job to always make you feel good, so help his out. 

3- Low Self esteem

This isn’t annoying as much as it is sad. It’s like watching a train wreck in slow motion with these girls who constantly sleep around and then damage their own self esteem and self worth. They regret it and hate themselves for it. And then THEY KEEP DOING IT. WTF?

fat bastard austin powers

I sleep around because I’m unhappy, and I’m unhappy because I sleep around. It’s a vicious cycle.

Personally, I don’t care if someone, anyone calls me a slut. If I wanna fuck, I will. I am a grown ass woman and take full responsibility for what I do when I feel like it. Whether it’s sex, your weight, your job, or husband, society will always find a way to criticize and judge. What matters most is what you think about yourself. And I already know I’m no angel, just pure awesome.

She-ra claiming her power.

Me? Superhero? Maybe. Saint? Not in a million years.