women

All posts in the women category

Bossy and Lovin It

Published December 22, 2013 by bossymoksie

Have you seen this commercial?

There’s lots of discussion on Youtube,Twitter and other online forums about feminism, political correctness and blah blah blah.

Actually some of the comments are interesting. Like one guy asking when the ‘male version’ would come out. I’d really like to see it. Seriously, no joke.

Anyway, I love it for now. I connect with this commercial on a personal level. I have been called ALL of these names in a negative context, by both men AND women. And even by a few of my haters on this blog.

And I’ve never cared.

One of those names is used as the title for my blog! I enjoy my life, for better or worse. I am who I am and I love it. You don’t like it, you know where the door is, and you can let it hit you on your ass on your way out.

Until next year! I hope everyone has a great holiday! I know I will.

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Bossy Roxxxie?

Published June 1, 2012 by bossymoksie

Some dudes are offended by the unrealistic stereotypes of men in romantic comedies. And yet…

As you read blog posts on wordpress.com, there is a team of engineers creating a sex robot to replace women. Lemme set this up for you. 9-11 happens. A genius nerd loses his friend. What does he do? What. Does. He. Do. Does he come up with a computer software program to help track down terrorists? Does he volunteer to create a machine that will help clean up New York after the tragedy? Does he even try to come up with a super diet pill that will erase all the calories that you just put in your body by eating a whole bag of cookies? No. He creates a personality program that replicates his friends’ personality. And then I guess he got horny because he decides to combine the software program with a sex doll and viola!- true companion.com, or Roxxxie.

This is why I love men. They know what is important in life. That is why they strive to be great leaders of the world! They know exactly what to do with smarts and responsibility. Make sex and intimacy easier for them!

And don’t tell me that you’re doing this for men who are too ugly and dumb or douchy can’t get laid a girfriend and want to fuck somethin’s brains out intimacy and companionship. Or that you’re doing this to replace all the women in legal whore houses. I see what you’re doing! You are trying to make it easier for dudes to get a ‘girfriend’ without actually having a girlfriend. Well, jokes on you because the robot can’t cook or clean (this came from the engineer’s mouth, not mine. I know what century I’m living in. I also don’t need to create a robot to get laid).

But I know the dudes will really appreciate the personality options. Because women only have five different personalities, so you’ll be covered; Wild Wendy, Frigid Farah (really?), S&M Susan, Maternal Martha and Young. (Young is a personality? Wow, you dudes are deep.)   What happened to just goin after girls with low self-esteem and stringin them along with as little attention as you can get away with for sex?

I am way hotter.

Here is why I am not offended or worried. Firstly, women cannot be replaced. Poor dudes. Can’t replace us even if you tried (which you desperately are). It’s steeped in your biology. You know, procreation, spreadin your seed and making the species live on and all that. Ha ha! You can’t live without us!

Secondly, you dudes get bored when you get everythin your way. I can’t count how many of my friends get walked all over and left because they did whatever their man wanted, whenever and however they wanted. And they left them for a bitch. The girls who should be worried are those plastic bitches who ran out and bought themselves some titties and face instead of a personality. (And ‘young’ doesn’t count.) You bitches may be replaced in the future, so ya’ll better start workin on your attitude and stop cutting yourself up to look like those bitches above. (Admittedly, they are not pretty, but I’m sure they will fix that in time). You about to be instinct! You best invest in a hobby cuz the robots may be takin over the (literal!) plastic airhead girlfriend role!

But of course there are the dudes sayin that they would program their robot to talk back at them and argue. You guys really are like hamsters, runnin in a circle. You can’t replace the Moksie! Ha!

Thirdly, instead of torturing real women with your relationship bullshit and fucked up issues, you can just take it to the robot. In fact, I may get one myself for my next boyfriend, and the next time his bullshit comes up, I’ll just direct him to the robot and carry on with my life until I feel like comin back! All the sexist and insecure, lazy men can go shack up with the robots and leave us bitchy crazy real and independent women alone.

No matter how many toys dudes make and wanna play with, they  always come crawlin back to us, even though we’ll be havin a ball with our Diet Cokes, Pina Coladas, and prancing at the beach in out bikini’s while talking about beauty tips all day in some girly girl utopia that you dudes won’t be able to resist crashing and fuckin up  with your ego and penis. Boooo.

And lastly, how do you know some terrorist isn’t gonna get a hold of that software program and order your robot bitch to kill you in your sleep?

So you weigh in: Is this the evolution of masturbation or relationships? Or is this the beginning of the end?

Robot women, the end of mankind? Or just the end of men?

Read more: The First Talking Sex Robot: A (Terrified) User Review | Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/blog/my-review-of-the-roxxxy-sex-robot/#ixzz1vTb65N00

Why We Went Out With You

Published May 29, 2012 by bossymoksie

I spent the weekend with Mr. Okay. It was okay. He was okay. I didn’t have anything better to do. Since I am semi-interested and super bored with myself and my life I just went. It made me think about the reasons why us ladies go out with some of you dudes. Sometimes, it truly is because we think you are our magical charming wonderful hot rich prince knight in shining armor who will never do any wrong until reality slaps us in the face.

But a lot of times, we go out with you for other reasons.

1.Because you just bought a hot dress/outfit/accessory that you can’t wear to the grocery store. It just wouldn’t be fair to the dress/outfit/accessory. You gotta show it off proper.

2.Because it’s better than looking for a job, applying for community college, cleaning your room, aka doin anything responsible. Dudes are great distractions for that. Thanks guys!

3.Because nothing is on TV! Cable channels play the same shit over and over. And how many times can you watch “Pretty Woman”? (Infinity times!) But there’s a slight chance that dudes might actually do or say something different from the last time you hung out with them.

4.Because you’re sittin at home eating a box of icecream sandwiches pack of donuts bag of mini Reece’s Peanutbutter cups fruit salad, and you’re just not feelin good about yourself. Your job sucks the soul outta you, your family annoys you with every breath they take, and you start wonderin if you should just give up on life. Hell naw! That’s when you reach out and flirt with a dude.

5.Because sometimes you are stalking an ex on Facebook gossipin on the phone innocently getting an email from a friend about how an ex is dating someone new. And you are at home, on your fucking computer! Fuck that.

6.Because you wanna go to a specific event, like a Kanye West concert or dollar margarita night and your friends won’t go cuz they are with their menz.

7.Because sometimes you are just fuckin horny and only any a man can take care of the job.

8.Because you’re broke and wanna go out. And a gentleman always pays. (And if you’re with me, you’re  gentlemen, at least in the paying department.)

9.Because bitches be trippin and sometimes you wanna avoid their trips. So when they call and ask if you wanna hold their hand while they cry into a perfectly good bowl of Haagen Dazs while watching “Thelma and Louise”(after breakin up with the same dude she’s been dating and breakin up with for the past four years), you will be making already have plans.

10.Because you don’t wanna be alone. Or alone with the idea of still havin to compete with bitches when you’re 70 in a nursing home because there’s only two dudes up in there and your boobs may be down to your knees by then, so you may not win.

11. Because of general boredom. And fuckin around with dudes is my hobby.

Did I leave any reasons out ladies?

Do You Cook?

Published May 22, 2012 by bossymoksie

June Cleaver never existed bitches.

I was talking on the phone with a dude I’d just met the other day. And dudes like to ask some stupid questions. Of all the dumbass questions dudes ask me (“What does a guy have to do to have sex with you?” “Are you crazy?”), this is the one that actually makes me want to punch someone in the throat.

“Do you cook?”

Firstly, most people know how to ‘cook’ or at least put a mayo sammich together so that you don’t eat your own hand. But that’s not why he’s askin. I know why he’s askin. Cuz he’s looking for a side of good, home-cooked meals along with hot pussy. And he’s hoping this hot chick will be the one to do it. It’s a good thing guys don’t hold their breath. Becuz this chick is not the one.

After tellin him ‘no’, I thought the subject had ended. But then this bitch had the nerve to ask me three more times in the SAME conversation, variations of the question. (.i.e what are you cooking tonight? What do you usually cook? Do you like to cook?) No bitch! I already told you I don’t cook real meals so what’s with the follow up questions! You ain’t eatin nuthin unless it’s below my waist. And the only way you eat’n real food is if you are paying for the food in a public place. (Ordering in is only allowed once a week!) And repeating the question isn’t gonna suddenly make me a cook. Or want to be a cook. I’m not one of those bitches who senses what you like and then pretends to like it so you’ll like me. I don’t care. You either want this or you don’t. Do you want me to lie? (Probably) then keep it up until I explode and go off on you in your face? (Yeah, you didn’t think that far, did you?)

This isn’t the 1950’s. It’s the new millenium. Women do other shit with their time. I’m not auditioning to be your momma or your assistant so keep it moving! Betty Crocker and June Cleaver don’t exist bitches! Stop it. Just stop.

Furthermore, I am not desperate. I will not pretend to be anything, or give anything other than who I am and what I got. I’m not gonna cook you to lure you into my life. Don’t have to. Next! There’s no excuse for repeatedly askin that question. You broke and gotta work. Guess what so do we! You rich and don’t have time. Guess what, you can buy a cook! Why stop there? Why don’t you ask me if I’m double-jointed? Why don’t you ask me if I like facials? If I’m a squirter? Why don’t we just cross off everything off of your fantasy wish list since you’re more interested in that than in actually GETTING TO KNOW ME.

But since we’re makin assumptions based on old ass conceptions of gender, I would also like to respond to that question with a few of my own. Like, what size is your dick? What’s your bank account statement look like? I’m not kidding, these are things I wanna know. But at least I have the courtesy to wait and ask in indirect and covert ways on our first few interactions. Unlike you.

50 Shades of Kinky F#^*%@y!

Published May 18, 2012 by bossymoksie

I’ve been hearin a lot about this book called “50 Shades of Grey”, and I’m sure every person on this planet has heard of it now. How it’s about a young girl who becomes a ‘submissive’ to a rich dude and lives happily ever after. And the media is latching onto the BDSM, the spanking and kinky fuckery, as it’s called in the book. Time Magazine is even calling Feminisim movement into question, since women are lovin a book where a woman gets dominated and spanked. “The Today Show” had Dr. Drew on there who said he was ‘concerned’ for the state of women to be so hooked on a book about a young girl becoming a submissive and that the book condoned violence against women.

Here’s an article tearing apart Dr. Drew’s credibility on this subject if you’re interested.

http://www.thefrisky.com/2012-03-14/dr-drew-is-mansplaining-your-sexual-desires-for-you-50-shades-of-grey-fans/

Which makes me wonder. Did any of these media bitches read the book? I did, cuz after hearing/seeing the headline, I decided that I needed to read it and join the haterade. It was based on some Twilight fan fic called MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE and I knew that shit was fiction just from the title. Cuz we all know who run this. Hint: not dudes.

And um, this was more “Pretty Woman” with kinky sex (and lots of it!) than “Twilight” with kinky sex. The lead female, Ana, doesn’t even become a submissive, in fact, he ends up pretty much pussy whipped (not literally) by the second book. She runnin things. They end up getting married (no prenup btw) and having kids and living in a JCrew ad by the end of the third book. So she turns a rich, hot as fuck, billionaire who was into dominating and bdsm,and could have any woman he wants, into a PG-13 loving husband and father? Um, now do you understand the real fantasy here that women are hooked on? (Hint: it’s not the paddle or whip, which was barely even used fyi). How has the media missed this? What kind of crackpot news industry do we have that makes sweeping generalizations without doing their fuckin research? Why aren’t they advertising the REAL storyline? (easy, cuz sex sells.) And why are they so shocked that women have sexual fantasies too? Men have strip clubs and porn and fuckin sex dolls, but women get hot over one book and feminism as a whole gets questioned? WTF?

The sex scenes are hot, but ultimately most women love that an ungettable unicorn became putty in some unremarkable girl’s hand. That’s what they were really getting off to. Master of the universe is really us ya’ll and the book confirmed it! (That’s why I loved it.) And for any girl with an ego and loves power trippin, this is the ultimate goal. Like for the dude to get that hot woman who is also a brilliant scientist and loves comics and sports to commit to him and be a complete freak in the bedroom (and love him too). It’s a fantasy. Calm down.

PS- Dear Kirsten Stewart, How weird is it that some middle-aged mom got off writing this book about you and your boyfriend?