Don’t Give a Bitch Your Credit Card

As I’ve mentioned before, I only like to do my job description and nothing else. If it’s not in my job description when you hire me, or promote me, I’m not doing it. And where there’s a will there’s a way. This is why I’ve never learned how to make coffee. This and because I don’t drink it. And yet, I’ve worked in several offices where people tried to make that part of my job responsibility.

It never ends up being my responsibility because I’m never the first one in the office because I’m always running late, and I’m not even drinking it and IT WASN’T IN MY JOB DESCRIPTION BITCH!

I usually get out of it by saying I don’t drink it and don’t even know how to work a coffee pot. But one job had the audacity to try to teach me. I half paid attention. Then when I had to make the coffee, I almost broke the coffee pot by flooding it. After that, they begged me to never go near it again.

Now for the main story of this post. I once had a data entry position. I was new and working a night shift. One night when I was working by myself, this supervisor FROM ANOTHER DEPARTMENT, comes over to me, and asks me if I could call Pizza Hut to order some pizza for him and his department (10 people or less) since they stayed late and were doing such a great job. I looked at him like he was crazy.

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?

This was my first week working by myself after training. Therefore, I was slow and had work to do. So, no, I was not eager to jump up and do his bidding just to impress a superior or get his approval since I was new. Especially since he wasn’t directly my boss. Furthermore, I am not one of those girls who likes to make sure other grown ass adults are fed, comforted, and taken care of. Because I don’t give a fuck. (And there were a few women that worked there that are like that and would have gladly done this). Don’t get me wrong, I love to win a popularity contest. I love for people to luuuurve me! But on my terms.

I told him that I had work to do and he should just take care of it. He persisted.

He said it would only take 5 minutes, which was complete bullshit. Because it took him 10 minutes to talk me into doing it (and me saying that WHEN my real work isn’t finished, I will tell my boss it was because of this ‘urgent’ task). Then it took him another 5 minutes to show me how to bypass the company’s software so I could get on Google to get Pizza Hut’s phone number. Adding the actual phone call, and the conversation about the stupid pizza before and after it arrived, it was about 30-45 minutes wasted on his bullshit. And I don’t play that. The only bullshit I deal with is my own. He just wanted the little lady to do it. And do it I would. He handed me his credit card and went back to his department. He even said I could have some of that shit. How nice.

I called and they said they had a special. 10 pizza’s for $10 each. I said, sign me up. Sidenote: I’ve actually had jobs where I had to buy coffee or pizza and pick items up. I gladly did it BECAUSE IT WAS IN MY JOB DESCRIPTION.

Anyway, the delivery guy arrived and I pointed him to the direction of the supervisor without even looking up. He went back there and then quickly ran out.

You asked for it, you got it. And by ‘it’ I mean a bitch slap.

“ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS!” the supervisor screamed from the other room.

He came over to my desk.

“You ordered a hundred dollars worth of pizza?”

“Yeah, it sounded like a good deal.”

“A hundred dollars. What are we gonna do with all that pizza?”

“Eat it.”

“You must be the only person in the world who doesn’t know how to order pizza! You will never order food for this office again!” and he stomped away.

Bitch please.

The following week, he told people what an idiot I was and tried to make me feel dumb. I just laughed. I didn’t care. But the women would walk up to the supervisor and jokingly ask him for his credit card so they could order food for the office, then laugh, at him. I guess he never handed someone his credit card like that before. All the other supervisors laughed and said I won’t be doing that in my future.

THAT’S WHAT I WANTED! Do you really think my feelings were hurt? MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

As soon as I became proficient at what I was paid to do and was free from doing bullshit favors, I used my extra time Googling bullshit online, reading celeb gossip, checking Facebook, and browsing Amazon. Too bad I still didn’t have his credit card. Those dumb bitches could think whatever they wanted. My ass is only going to do what I want to do. You’re lucky I want to pull my own weight.

It’s not about working for the job, it’s about making the job work for you.

Who’s the Boss?

Most of this blog has been dedicated to my dating thoughts and rants.

Let me take this post to rant about my least favorite subject ever: work.

Nobody misses work when they are away from it.

I have a similar attitude towards work that I have with dating. It’s about showing people how to treat you and what they should expect from you. Don’t be a doormat in either place, because people will gladly wipe their feet on you. The interview process is not unlike the first few dates of a potential beau. The hope, the excitement and newness of it all, only to be crushed by the cruel reality down the road that this one is just as disappointing and predictable as the previous ones.

This is what I’ve learned. I do not do anything more than what my job description says. Fuck that. This is what we agreed on and I am holding up my end. This is what happens when you try to go above and beyond. It becomes yours permanently! With no additional money, title, or official say in what goes on! That doesn’t bother you? That’s fine, until you realize that all you did was give Mr. Motormouth and Ms. Lazy-shit more time to talk and be fucking lazy. Because you’re doing parts of their jobs that they never got done. So while you’re slaving away, these two morons are just being morons and not doing work. And if you’re still fine with that because you like your job, you like the new put-upon tasks, and you want to impress the bosses to move up the ladder, then good luck with that.

This is what sucks about that. When your unorganized boss fucks up, which is inevitable, and suddenly there’s a big push to get a bunch of crap done in a short period of time, guess who ends up with having to push their life aside to get it done? YOU. The one who took on more than what your job is paying for. Not the unorganized boss, not lazy-shit, or motor mouth. Have fun with that pressure! Without the money or title or a choice. Keep in mind that the person who actually does get a promotion is usually the kiss ass net-worker. Why would they promote you when you’re doing such a great job of doing all the worker bee tasks whatever it is that you’re doing, plus other people’s work, without complaint?

When I get more dumped on me, I make sure that the boss and co-workers know I am doing them a favor, and this is not a regular thing. I make sure they know, whether it’s true or not, that what I have on my plate is all I can handle. They want to add more, they have to take something away. And if you’re not gonna give me more money, you sure as hell better get me a free meal, or a bunch of appreciation! Or both. They usually do! 🙂

And this recession bullshit has not changed my attitude. Now companies like to act like they are the choosy hot chick who have too many choices and can be an abusive bitch about it. We’re supposed to go above and beyond and perform back-flips at will like a desperate puppy in order to have the privilege of doing the job of three people without the title or pay. No thank you.

In fact it has made me less interested in being loyal, invested and respectful to companies. Because now I KNOW you will drop me like a diseased sack of potatoes the second your company needs to fix their bottom line so the CEO’s don’t see a dip in padding their own pockets. It’s just business. I get it. Go ahead and save your asses companies! I definitely will continue to look out for mine!

Many of my friends are being over worked and underpaid for it, companies squeezing every last breath of their time, energy, and talents from them until they want to shoot themselves in the head for sweet release. I’ll pass. I am there for a paycheck: not to kiss ass, stress myself out over bullshit or incompetence, or get anyone’s approval. I’m there to do the job I signed up for. Don’t get it twisted. Because I definitely won’t. And the moment we butt heads with that, is the moment I get another job. Because the only person I truly ever answer to, is myself. I am the one that determine’s my workload, schedule, pay, and hours. And I know where the door is if you can’t give me what I want think is fair….or if I’m bored. Just like dating, I do this on my terms. 

I’m not suggesting that everyone quit and move on, but you definitely should remember that your only real boss is YOU. You are in charge of what you give, placing your talents in the right place and in determining your worth. Act accordingly.

Bossy and Lovin It

Have you seen this commercial?

There’s lots of discussion on Youtube,Twitter and other online forums about feminism, political correctness and blah blah blah.

Actually some of the comments are interesting. Like one guy asking when the ‘male version’ would come out. I’d really like to see it. Seriously, no joke.

Anyway, I love it for now. I connect with this commercial on a personal level. I have been called ALL of these names in a negative context, by both men AND women. And even by a few of my haters on this blog.

And I’ve never cared.

One of those names is used as the title for my blog! I enjoy my life, for better or worse. I am who I am and I love it. You don’t like it, you know where the door is, and you can let it hit you on your ass on your way out.

Until next year! I hope everyone has a great holiday! I know I will.