Don’t Give a Bitch Your Credit Card

As I’ve mentioned before, I only like to do my job description and nothing else. If it’s not in my job description when you hire me, or promote me, I’m not doing it. And where there’s a will there’s a way. This is why I’ve never learned how to make coffee. This and because I don’t drink it. And yet, I’ve worked in several offices where people tried to make that part of my job responsibility.

It never ends up being my responsibility because I’m never the first one in the office because I’m always running late, and I’m not even drinking it and IT WASN’T IN MY JOB DESCRIPTION BITCH!

I usually get out of it by saying I don’t drink it and don’t even know how to work a coffee pot. But one job had the audacity to try to teach me. I half paid attention. Then when I had to make the coffee, I almost broke the coffee pot by flooding it. After that, they begged me to never go near it again.

Now for the main story of this post. I once had a data entry position. I was new and working a night shift. One night when I was working by myself, this supervisor FROM ANOTHER DEPARTMENT, comes over to me, and asks me if I could call Pizza Hut to order some pizza for him and his department (10 people or less) since they stayed late and were doing such a great job. I looked at him like he was crazy.

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?

This was my first week working by myself after training. Therefore, I was slow and had work to do. So, no, I was not eager to jump up and do his bidding just to impress a superior or get his approval since I was new. Especially since he wasn’t directly my boss. Furthermore, I am not one of those girls who likes to make sure other grown ass adults are fed, comforted, and taken care of. Because I don’t give a fuck. (And there were a few women that worked there that are like that and would have gladly done this). Don’t get me wrong, I love to win a popularity contest. I love for people to luuuurve me! But on my terms.

I told him that I had work to do and he should just take care of it. He persisted.

He said it would only take 5 minutes, which was complete bullshit. Because it took him 10 minutes to talk me into doing it (and me saying that WHEN my real work isn’t finished, I will tell my boss it was because of this ‘urgent’ task). Then it took him another 5 minutes to show me how to bypass the company’s software so I could get on Google to get Pizza Hut’s phone number. Adding the actual phone call, and the conversation about the stupid pizza before and after it arrived, it was about 30-45 minutes wasted on his bullshit. And I don’t play that. The only bullshit I deal with is my own. He just wanted the little lady to do it. And do it I would. He handed me his credit card and went back to his department. He even said I could have some of that shit. How nice.

I called and they said they had a special. 10 pizza’s for $10 each. I said, sign me up. Sidenote: I’ve actually had jobs where I had to buy coffee or pizza and pick items up. I gladly did it BECAUSE IT WAS IN MY JOB DESCRIPTION.

Anyway, the delivery guy arrived and I pointed him to the direction of the supervisor without even looking up. He went back there and then quickly ran out.

You asked for it, you got it. And by ‘it’ I mean a bitch slap.

“ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS!” the supervisor screamed from the other room.

He came over to my desk.

“You ordered a hundred dollars worth of pizza?”

“Yeah, it sounded like a good deal.”

“A hundred dollars. What are we gonna do with all that pizza?”

“Eat it.”

“You must be the only person in the world who doesn’t know how to order pizza! You will never order food for this office again!” and he stomped away.

Bitch please.

The following week, he told people what an idiot I was and tried to make me feel dumb. I just laughed. I didn’t care. But the women would walk up to the supervisor and jokingly ask him for his credit card so they could order food for the office, then laugh, at him. I guess he never handed someone his credit card like that before. All the other supervisors laughed and said I won’t be doing that in my future.

THAT’S WHAT I WANTED! Do you really think my feelings were hurt? MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

As soon as I became proficient at what I was paid to do and was free from doing bullshit favors, I used my extra time Googling bullshit online, reading celeb gossip, checking Facebook, and browsing Amazon. Too bad I still didn’t have his credit card. Those dumb bitches could think whatever they wanted. My ass is only going to do what I want to do. You’re lucky I want to pull my own weight.

It’s not about working for the job, it’s about making the job work for you.