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All posts for the month September, 2013

Idea Fail: The Drawn Out Breakup

Published September 30, 2013 by bossymoksie

Because of my fickle nature, I am usually the one that does the running away dumping first. After that is, collecting all my stuff from his place ninja style. Once you realize the end is near, it’s best to just do it as quickly as possible, like ripping off a band-aid.

sneaky ninja

Operation get yo shit without him noticing.

There was actually the one time I was dumped for being mean in high school. I deserved it, even if I told myself I didn’t. And that bitch came back to me a year later so I don’t really consider it a dumping. Too bad for him, I had already moved on when he tried to get back into my life.

The time I want to share is a time that I wanted to break up with this guy. Kind of. I mean he was cool to hang out with but I just wanted to ride the relationship until he stopped spending money on me things got really boring. But he wanted to break up with me. Like really. Except he wouldn’t.

How did I know this? Well, suddenly he was too ‘busy’ to hang out if my friends invited us somewhere. Even though we hung out on week days, on the weekends he was suddenly ‘busy’ except for one day. One time I dropped in on his ass unannounced just to see how ‘busy’ he was and he was just home cleaning his damn apartment and listening to music. This is after making it sound like his schedule was so crazy that weekend. Really? He was not putting any effort in and he just trying to avoid me. I knew he was doing this shit so I would get angry since I’m hot tempered smart and have high self-esteem, and then break up with him.

HA! I wasn’t gonna fall into that trap, I decided. I also decided that I was gonna put a monkey wrench into that plan and NOT DUMP HIM. This was for his own good. I thought he should man up and dump my crazy ass instead of being all passive aggressive ‘busier’ and not doing boyfriend  things like go shopping anymore. Whateves. He was gonna have to say it first! And I was gonna be a good girl and the best girlfriend ever just to torture him and make it harder!!!!! I mean, what was he afraid of that his impulsive, hot headed girlfriend would go off on his ass?

Okay, so I wasn’t really a good girl, but I had become ‘nice’ and I was so fucking fake that it was torture sometimes. I knew he wanted out badly because we weren’t even having sex anymore! Even though inside, I felt a small sense of satisfaction that I was making it harder and harder on him, being fucking fake and nice was more torture FOR ME!!!!!

This was a pure act of stubbornness. But still, he needed to learn how to break it off with a bitch. On top of this, some shit was going down with some of my friends, so it was a stressful time so I may have also not been in the best frame of mind. Well this went on for about two months. But I said I was gonna get him!

Then one night I said fuck it and went out alone with another group of friends. I was in a great mood even though I had no reason to be, and I don’t know what was going on because six guys asked me for my number that night within only a few hours which rarely happens. I went on a group insta-date with one of them, which I NEVER do alone (blame it on the pending rebound), but had made friends with one of the girls in his group so off we all went. I had a great time and he asked me out on a date for the following week and I said, “Yeah!”

But I had one little thing to clear up.

The next morning I thought long and hard for about 20 minutes and decided that there was no use in me torturing the both of us just to make a point. I knew I did not want to stay with him so I should do the grown up thing and set him free so I can move on with my hot date. But he was still gonna be the one to put the axe down dammit! I was just gonna give him a little help.

I emailed my boyfriend and asked if he still wanted to do this or not. Yeah, I emailed and yeah, had it been the other way around, I would have rained a shit storm on him. So?

He replied that we should be friends.

Which was bullshit but Cool.

I went out with the other dude that week.

Outcome? Me and that new dude didn’t work out. Apparently he had issues with honesty because when he asked when my last relationship was, and I said ‘Last week’, he didn’t like the answer. He just got too paranoid after that. And yeah, I was the one who opted out of that one.

And my ex-boyfriend and I never became friends.

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Yeah We Want It

Published September 19, 2013 by bossymoksie

Your attention that is.

As a follow up to the book review I did last week, I just wanted to let you guys know that we WANT you to approach us.

Why do you think we spend 3 hours getting dressed, doing our hair and make-up, hours at the mall shopping for the most flattering best outfits, making sure we squeeze in gym time so we can squeeze into our new tight, cute clothes?

It’s not for our health!

We want your attention. We want some guy to come over and dazzle us and buy a drink or two for us and our friends, and most of us would settle just for a guy to come over and say hi.

So you guys shouldn’t be so scared of us ladies! We want a story to tell our co-workers or friends that didn’t come out with us, and that story has to involve YOU whether you fucked up or swept us away.

It’s you guys that make the night or day, more interesting and exciting, even for a few fleeting moment before we figure out that your broke, a player, or boring.

But most of all we are hoping to fall for someone or their bullshit long enough to have a good time that night to distract us from not being madly in love, or even connect with a guy we think is cool and have a good time, platonic or not.

Also, we always feel great when we get more male attention than our friends. TRUTH. 

Attention is an ego boost, and its something we ladies ADORE.

So, step on up. We want you to!

‘The Introvert Approach’ Book Review

Published September 12, 2013 by bossymoksie

I promised myself I would read this book, “The Introvert Approach“, and review it after Introverted Playboy said he would like my thoughts on it a few month ago.

Sorry, no video review, like I did with SocialKenny’s. Introvert’s like to read anyway.

First I think this book is GREAT! If you aren’t ready jump into the fire like a ninja and kick some ass and get your ass kicked like in Social Kenny’s book, “7 Ways to Become Social with Women“,  then this book will be better suited for you.

If you are not social and never have been, this book gives you baby steps to feel comfortable getting out of your comfort zone (your house in front of your computer,TV, or WII) and comfortable being outside before even speaking with people, let alone hot women.

If you can’t even do that, then there’s no hope for you.

Take aways:

  • Using your introversion as a strength to use to your advantage instead of thinking of it as a weakness when being social.
  • Baby steps to get used to being in public and talking to people with ‘micro approaches’ and ‘warm ups’.
  • Pointing out that practice makes perfect. (Just like the NBA only selects balla’s who can dunk, girls are only gonna warm up to the guys who can a socialize with them, and do it well.)
  • Focus on becoming good at being social first, then focusing on going after the women you want.
  • Three major techniques to keep the conversation going. (I admit, I am pretty lazy when it comes to talking to new guys and leave it up to them to steer the conversation. Unless the subject is REALLY interesting or we are just joking around).
  • Specific actions and explanation of creating excitement AND comfort, and why. (In my opinion, girls want to feel safe to open up with you-comfort- but still feel excited and alive when they’re around you-excitement. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we want it all.)
  • A positive (and realistic!) spin on dealing with rejections and failures.
  • Pointing out that you don’t have to be the outgoing, entertaining charming guy all the time to get laid. (Truth!)
  • A glossary of PUA terms at the end of the book for those not familiar with certain terms used in the book.
Quotes and points with my thoughts:
“A quick compliment on something the girl is wearing, asking for directions, asking for the time, asking her opinion about
something in the environment.”
I actually I get this ALOT.
And I’m thinking, ‘Do I look like I know where a fucking Home Depot is? Do I look like I eat at fucking Burger King? Do I look like I know how to read a clock?’ But this makes more sense. I thought it was because men people thought I looked like I know everything because in my mind, I do, except for those questions I mentioned above.
“The result is the classic question chain: asking her question after question, without going anywhere. This kills the conversation and makes it extremely boring. An exciting and interesting conversation happens when you share yourself, and that requires you to have the frame that you are the cool, interesting person here and you have stuff to share.”
The BEST conversations are when both parties are talking and sharing. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind going on and on and on, but I will forget you and not care to talk to you again unless I’m hard up for attention. And if the guy just talks on and on about himself…forget it, I’m just walking away.
“Instead of wondering if you are good enough for her, ask yourself if she is good enough for you. She is not the prize—she can’t be, you don’t know anything about her yet.”
I KNOW I’m a prize. But I also know that you don’t know why if we just met, except that you think I’m hot. So if you are drooling over yourself and putting me on this pedastool within the first few minutes of meeting, I’m gonna fuck with you and not take you seriously. Because it seems as though you don’t require much in being attracted to someone. Why would I want to know more about you when you apparently don’t give a fuck about anything else about me other than the way I look?
“The key is to have goals for the overall process of improvement with women, without having specific goals for a specific girl. A good goal is to have more dates per week. A bad goal is to get Jessica out on a date.”
I just love this point.
“You can say practically anything to a girl. As long as it is said with confidence and openness, it will enable you to start a conversation with her.”
TRUE dat. I have found this to be true when talking with men as well. Sometimes I say stuff that doesn’t even make sense, and make up words.
“As long as you are not expressing what is true for you in that moment, you will be incongruent and will fail to spark her interest. And you
will often come across as creepy.”
SO TRUE. Most women can tell if you’re attracted to them. You don’t have to hit them over the head or dry hump their leg or anything, but mentioning your attraction let’s us feel like you’re honest and not trying to hide something. Especially when you’re staring at our chest the whole time you’re talking to us.

The book mentions being a social leader.

Men with responsibility and are leaders are hot. That is all. We wanna know you can handle responsibility! Even if you’re irresponsible with us and ditch us!

The book also mentions being comfortable and confident with yourself.

Girls read ‘uncomfortable in social situations’ as uncomfortable with yourself, and we want no part of that. Unless the girl herself is shy and uncomfortable in social situations, or with herself.

“Doing what you said you were going to do (whether calling her at a certain time, taking her to the place you said you were going to take her, etc).”
THIS IS HUGE FOR ME.
When a guy flakes on his word, I become a major flake and you are just in my attention- whoring category, I can’t take you seriously after that.

“Boringness in conversation basically stems from our own inhibitions and inability to expose our true selves.”

True true! This also helps you get the girls that find the true you exciting! And that’s the jackpot right? RIGHT BITCHES? Better be. 

“Neediness and the desire to impress a girl is one of the biggest, most common killers of male attractiveness.”
Yes and yes. Unless the girl is clinger herself.
“A more straightforward way is to just practice “un-censoring” yourself in conversations with people. Whatever you are thinking, say it. When you agree with something, say it. When you disagree, say that.”
I sometimes find it annoying when guys that are talking to me agree with everything I say. Because i know I say crazy shit sometimes. Other times, my ego really likes it.
Anyway, if I’m not censored, I don’t want you to be either. and it makes me wonder what you are holding back, and why.

Suggestions

  • There’s a nice summary at the end of the book, but have you thought about making an action checklist? There’s a lot of information in the book and an action checklist might help some put some of your techniques and mindsets into action.
  • I am not an introverted, masculine man, but I was wondering how would a guy give off a ‘sexual vibe’ (for night time pick up at clubs and bars). Do you guys automatically know what that means? You gave the example of staring, but that can come off as creepy depending on the girl. Do you have other examples or explanations on how to do this?
Over all:

There are some really great tips and information in here whether introverted or extroverted but ESPECIALLY if you feel socially challenged and uncomfortable with dating scene.

If you want a copy of this free ebook, you can get it here.

*Oct. 10, 2013 EDIT: Introverted Playboy has come up with a 30 day action guide. You can check it out here.

When Boys Attack: Story 5

Published September 6, 2013 by bossymoksie

I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

The summer is now coming to an end and it’s time to get sober get back to business. I spent the summer mostly being lazy relaxing and contemplating the general direction and changes I need to make in my life which should always be done half sober.

Just spent Labor Day weekend partying it up. And I met a guy. Of course.

We said a few hello’s with small talk via text over the weekend.

Then Monday rolled around and he asks me for a picture so he could see my beautiful face whenever he wants.

Naturally.

I hate texting pics to guys. I just don’t even want to get started on that. The first time I did it, I spent 2 hours posing and getting the right picture. Don’t even mention the hair and make-up. So much work!  Plus I’m not giving random guys photos of me so they can look at me when I’m long gone and do whatever they want with them even though you can find so many of me on my blog. Especially in my previous post. Also, after the face pic comes more demands. Pics of boobs or legs or in your underwear. Fuck no. You’re gonna have to work a little harder than moving your fingers over your cellphone to see my ass naked.

Instead of showing irritation I tried to be cute.

ME: Is that a clever way of saying that you don’t remember what I look like?

PHOTO DUDE: LMAO. No I just want to see your face that’s all. I remember that priceless smile, those eyebrows, the top that kept falling off your shoulder, that Halle Berry haircut I fell for. : )

No bitches, I have not chopped off all my hair. Hell naw.

ME: This is awkward. I actually have long hair. I wore it in a braid. You called me Pocahontas. And I was wearing a tight black top which fit my shoulders. Ring any bells? KEEP YOUR GIRLS STRAIGHT! LMAO! So you don’t remember me.

smdh