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No, I Don’t Want to Give You My Email Address

Published March 27, 2014 by bossymoksie

Shopping is one of the most wonderful, glorious things in the world. Especially when it isn’t your money you are spending. 

I love getting new things and imagining all the wonderful experiences I’m gonna have with my new outfit/jewelry/make-up/latest health and fitness trend. For me, shopping is like Christmas, which might be why I buy gifts for myself as well as others when the real Christmas finally rolls around; STUFF FOR ME!

Good times. Except for when you get to the cashier.

The cashier rings you up. As she/he takes your money, they ask “Do you have an email address?”

Of course I have an email address, bitch! I’m not some backwater redneck, or an 80-year old afraid of the world wide webs. Everyone has an email address. The real question is, do I want to give it to you?

Listen, I’m already giving you my semi- hard earned money. I don’t want you contacting me all hours of the day and night, trying to get me back to your store with lame offers. The offers are usually 15% or less, or for bulk buying. Who really needs 6 bottles of Jasmine Smoke lotion and body wash? Especially if you’ve already bought that the last time you were there?

When I go shopping, I want to go in there, have some fun, and get out. I don’t want you to have all my contact info so you can stalk me. I’ll come back when I want something from you. No strings attached. I’ll see ya when I see ya. My purchase isn’t a lifelong commitment! It was one transaction, it’s not forever!

This is probably how a dude feels about a needy one-night stand. Because it’s definitely how it feels to have a fling with a needy dude. 

I made the mistake of doing that with a store I frequented a lot and I got an email EVERYDAY, and none of the offers and sales were worth running over there. Every day, I opened the email hoping there would be some ‘50% off just for you because you’re awesome and always here anyway’ offer. Never happened. Tease.

I know what times of the week and year to go for the best deals, with or without your harassment emails. I don’t need you constantly contacting me, or giving my information out to your affiliates so they can harass me too. I also don’t need a credit card from you so I can be in debt to you. You are my bitch, not the other way around. I’m not gonna drop everything to come running to you just because you sent me an email. I so would for the right price though. When I make it rain well, sometimes sprinkle in your store, you’re the one who jumps up and dances. Furthermore, I am not clogging up my email with your BS so that I can’t see the ones from my REAL friends with their BS.

You’re already getting my money! What more do you want you needy bitches! My first born?!

My life doesn’t revolve around you! I have shit to do. Like shopping at other places.

Whenever they ask me that dumb ass question I just shake my head and wave my hand, waving their stupid question away like the boss I am.

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My Top 5’s

Published January 9, 2014 by bossymoksie

I know everyone has viewed their WordPress stats and all that. So I thought I’d give a shout out to those that help make this blog happen by reading and commenting.

Top 5 Commenters (are guys surprise, surprise)

#1 Is Reema, my game twin! (You beat Social Kenny this year.) My game twin meaning he knows what’s what in the dating world and in life in general, and he breaks it all down here, Reema Chronicles.

#2 Social Kenny, living up to his name while handing out PUA advice at his blog with his in-your-face writing.

#3 Marellus, a lover and a hater of my posts with no blog of his own (that I know of).

#4 Bogs at Smart Day Game where he chronicles his own PUA adventures and lessons.

#5 Chin Up, Chest High who is going through his dating adventures and lessons as a divorcee.

A quick shout out to #6, Serenity Luv, my top female commenter. Thanks!

Ladies speak up! I like to hear from you too! I’m an equal opportunity attention whore-er!

Top 5 Posts

The Money Guy…I Mean the Funny Guy

I Know, I Know, I’m Always It

It’s Our Anniversary!

Why A New Guy Loses Interest

Three Libra Men Strike Out (who knew so many women googled Libra Men?)

I have to give a special thanks to Captain Capitalism for single-handedly making the top two posts as popular as they were. Thanks for sharing this blog with your Manosphere buds. Because every attention whore knows that any attention is better than none, so I thank you from the bottom of my heart! You’ve given me more views than my actual fans!

Okay, enough about you people. Let’s get back to ME! Here are some of my random personal Top 5 lists.

My Top 5 Things I Love to Rant About

#1 Men Dates

#2 Traffic making me late and not the fact that I woke up late, or left late, or took too long doing my hair

#3 My hair not doing my bidding

#4 Work anything and everything but mostly that I have to do it…sometimes

#5 Anything that I think is Bullshit

My Top 5 Songs of the Moment

#1 No Angel by Beyonce

#2 National Anthem by Lana Del Rey (WARNING: this is the long version of her video and may be offensive to some. I just love that she has mixed kids in the video).

#3 If I Were a Boy, the GLEE cover damn I wish I could sang!

#4 Yonce by Beyonce

#5 Flawless by Beyonce (okay, okay I just got her new album and I am all over it)

My Top 5 Beauty Products I Fell In Love With in 2013

#1 Aloe Juice

#2 Coconut Oil

#3 Lancome anything

#4 Giovanni anything

#5 Nars Bronzer Powder

My Top 5 Drinks I Drank in 2013

#1 Any Margarita specialty drink

#2 Sweet tea vodka with lemonade

#3 Snow cone

#4 Pina Colada on the rocks

#5 Flavored Mojito’s

My Top 5 Sleeping Positions when Next to a Guy

#1 My head on his chest aka him as a human pillow

#2  My feet underneath some part of him aka him as a human foot warmer

#3 Spread out on the bed like a star fish so that he has only a sliver of bed to sleep on

#4 Sleeping on one of his arms so that he has to stare at my beauty all night since he is wide awake (because his arm underneath me is asleep due to me cutting off it’s blood circulation)

#5 Cuddling…awwww aka him as a human heater

Ask a Bitch!

Published September 15, 2012 by bossymoksie
Where I answer your questions about love, life and hairy situations (questions in bold):

Just to give you an update, I am not seeing that guy I had ‘rockin sex’ with anymore. The last time I saw him, he hugged me and told me to have a nice weekend. Which meant we wouldn’t be spending it together. He hasn’t called me since. What the hell happened?

Um, you were just having sex. That’s what happened. Next time you want to get to know someone, I suggest you do that, and that only.

I have a crush on this guy and he is dating someone else. It’s frustrating because we flirt and talk all the time. What does he want from me?

He’s already getting it. You’re attention and swooning over him. How does that make you feel? Not good? Then move on. You are using him for attention too.

I am also dating a married guy. It wasn’t planned, just like that other lady who emailed you. He is miserable and confused. Plus he has kids and he doesn’t want to lose them. I want him to leave his wife so we can be together and be a real couple. How can I make him see that it would be for the best?

Why? Married guys who date outside the marriage want their wedding cake and eat it too. Maybe you weren’t looking to date a married guy but he was looking for someone who would date him on the side.

I went out with this guy I liked ALOT and met at a bar. I told him that I didn’t want to have sex or anything on the first date (he brought it up). He said he was cool with that. We went out and he was still hot and great to talk to. But we did end up making out in his car. Almost to the point where we had sex. I’m kind of upset that it happened because I didn’t want that but he made a move and I went with it because it felt good and I didn’t want to put up a fight since we were having a good time. How do I make sure it doesn’t happen on the next date? I know he will think I will have sex with him!

Because you probably will in order to keep the good date on the good date feeling mode. And he knows it. There’s a difference between not wanting to have sex with a guy because you’re not ready, or because you don’t want him to think you’re a slut. Figure out which one of those it is for you. And when he tries to make a move, fuck the good date vibe and just say no. You will both survive. So will the date. You’ll hear from him again if he really likes you.

I’m in love with a guy who has a girlfriend! I knew him before they met and we dated for a while. We broke up and have been friends since. Sometimes we have slept with each other. And we sometimes still do. Why doesn’t he let me go? Why is he with her and not me?

Because she has more but not much more self-esteem than you. Keep it moving. IF A GUY REALLY WANTS YOU, HE WILL BE WITH YOU AND ONLY YOU. YOU WILL HAVE NO DOUBTS ABOUT IT. HE WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN. He’s not stringing you along because he desperately loves you. He’s stringing you along because you are convenient and there. Otherwise he could give a fuck. I suggest you stop giving a fuck as well.

If you want my bitchy advice, please ask away in the comments section or email me at bossymoksie@gmail.com. I will answer in a future blog post.

If you don’t want my bitchy advice, you might get it anyway.

Bossy Roxxxie?

Published June 1, 2012 by bossymoksie

Some dudes are offended by the unrealistic stereotypes of men in romantic comedies. And yet…

As you read blog posts on wordpress.com, there is a team of engineers creating a sex robot to replace women. Lemme set this up for you. 9-11 happens. A genius nerd loses his friend. What does he do? What. Does. He. Do. Does he come up with a computer software program to help track down terrorists? Does he volunteer to create a machine that will help clean up New York after the tragedy? Does he even try to come up with a super diet pill that will erase all the calories that you just put in your body by eating a whole bag of cookies? No. He creates a personality program that replicates his friends’ personality. And then I guess he got horny because he decides to combine the software program with a sex doll and viola!- true companion.com, or Roxxxie.

This is why I love men. They know what is important in life. That is why they strive to be great leaders of the world! They know exactly what to do with smarts and responsibility. Make sex and intimacy easier for them!

And don’t tell me that you’re doing this for men who are too ugly and dumb or douchy can’t get laid a girfriend and want to fuck somethin’s brains out intimacy and companionship. Or that you’re doing this to replace all the women in legal whore houses. I see what you’re doing! You are trying to make it easier for dudes to get a ‘girfriend’ without actually having a girlfriend. Well, jokes on you because the robot can’t cook or clean (this came from the engineer’s mouth, not mine. I know what century I’m living in. I also don’t need to create a robot to get laid).

But I know the dudes will really appreciate the personality options. Because women only have five different personalities, so you’ll be covered; Wild Wendy, Frigid Farah (really?), S&M Susan, Maternal Martha and Young. (Young is a personality? Wow, you dudes are deep.)   What happened to just goin after girls with low self-esteem and stringin them along with as little attention as you can get away with for sex?

I am way hotter.

Here is why I am not offended or worried. Firstly, women cannot be replaced. Poor dudes. Can’t replace us even if you tried (which you desperately are). It’s steeped in your biology. You know, procreation, spreadin your seed and making the species live on and all that. Ha ha! You can’t live without us!

Secondly, you dudes get bored when you get everythin your way. I can’t count how many of my friends get walked all over and left because they did whatever their man wanted, whenever and however they wanted. And they left them for a bitch. The girls who should be worried are those plastic bitches who ran out and bought themselves some titties and face instead of a personality. (And ‘young’ doesn’t count.) You bitches may be replaced in the future, so ya’ll better start workin on your attitude and stop cutting yourself up to look like those bitches above. (Admittedly, they are not pretty, but I’m sure they will fix that in time). You about to be instinct! You best invest in a hobby cuz the robots may be takin over the (literal!) plastic airhead girlfriend role!

But of course there are the dudes sayin that they would program their robot to talk back at them and argue. You guys really are like hamsters, runnin in a circle. You can’t replace the Moksie! Ha!

Thirdly, instead of torturing real women with your relationship bullshit and fucked up issues, you can just take it to the robot. In fact, I may get one myself for my next boyfriend, and the next time his bullshit comes up, I’ll just direct him to the robot and carry on with my life until I feel like comin back! All the sexist and insecure, lazy men can go shack up with the robots and leave us bitchy crazy real and independent women alone.

No matter how many toys dudes make and wanna play with, they  always come crawlin back to us, even though we’ll be havin a ball with our Diet Cokes, Pina Coladas, and prancing at the beach in out bikini’s while talking about beauty tips all day in some girly girl utopia that you dudes won’t be able to resist crashing and fuckin up  with your ego and penis. Boooo.

And lastly, how do you know some terrorist isn’t gonna get a hold of that software program and order your robot bitch to kill you in your sleep?

So you weigh in: Is this the evolution of masturbation or relationships? Or is this the beginning of the end?

Robot women, the end of mankind? Or just the end of men?

Read more: The First Talking Sex Robot: A (Terrified) User Review | Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/blog/my-review-of-the-roxxxy-sex-robot/#ixzz1vTb65N00