The Chat

Published June 5, 2012 by bossymoksie

Blank avatar. Not creepy at all.

I signed up for Myspace.com about a year ago. They allegedly had a makeover and it was not about teens putting half naked pics of themselves online trolling but about entertainment and your favorite celebrities. After creating the account, I forgot about it. A week or so ago I got mad at Facebook, and recently went back to see what it’s all about. And I had a whole bunch of emails and friend requests from dudes. Which pissed me off. Why? Because they were all telling me how hot I was. I usually love that shit, hell I expect it, but I hadn’t put a picture of myself up there. It was a picture of Nicki Minaj. She had on shades but it was a pic from a magazine. With the magazine name on the bottom. BUT SOMEHOW EVERY SINGLE DUDE THOUGHT THAT WAS A PICTURE OF ME. How fuckin dumb are you? How horny are you? Did your other head obliterate all brain cells in your head? Wow.

Nicki Minaj channeling my inner diva on my now extinct Myspace page.

So I accept some friend requests. While browsing the celeb pages on the site, a chat pops up from one of my new friends. I don’t remember the name. L. Bsomething. No pic. He says hi. So I go with it. And what follows is the most debonair, awesome, eloquent meeting of the minds that got me so hot amused and annoyed bothered that I had to delete my Myspace account. Immediately.

Siderant: I tried for 3 hours to get a copy of this chat (so I could post it here verbatim). But I finally learned that Myspace didn’t have a way to pull up past chats since they just updated their chat feature. So this is from memory.

Moksie: Hi.

Lbsomething: You’re hot.

Moksie: I know. But that isn’t a pic of me. It’s Nikki Minaj. From a magazine.

Lbsomething: Why no pic of you?

Moksie: Not sure if I want to be on Myspace yet.

Lbsomething: Where do you live?

Moksie: Where do YOU live?

Lbsomething: Florida.

Moksie: We don’t live in the same state. Even if we did, I wouldn’t be coming over.

Lbsomething: Why not?

Moksie: That’s not how I roll. I don’t need to meet dudes online to get laid.

Lbsomething: How big are your breasts?

Moksie: I can tell you’re a breast man by the friends on your page.

Lbsomething: Yeah.I like breasts. What’s your bra size?

Moksie: What if I told you I was flat?

Lbsomething: That’s okay. You have a nice ass.

Moksie: I didn’t say I was flat. I just wanted to know what you would say if I did. And that picture is still not me.

Lbsomething: I want to fuck you.

Moksie: You wish!

Lbsomething: Come over.

Moksie: I still live in another state.

Lbsomething: I want to stick my dick inside you.

Moksie: I wanna know how big your bank account is.

Lbsomething: It’s really BIG.

Moksie: Like 7 digits big? Or six? I need a digit. Because I’m not a saltines and ramen noodles kind of girl.

Lbsomething: I have a lot of money. GET OVER HERE SO I CAN FUCK YOU.

Moksie: I’m sorry but I don’t fuck losers who troll Myspace for ass. Have fun with your hand and your other friends on Myspace.

He then ended the chat. And un-friended me. And after figuring out that the chat was lost in cyberspace forever, I deleted my myspace account. Because a girl can only take so much sexual harrassment romance and seduction.

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5 comments on “The Chat

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