Thought I’d share this one with you guys. Especially to all the dudes who like to tell me that ‘looks aren’t everything’, so that they can feel better about themselves and the fact they can’t get laid. The CEO of JP Morgan breaks down why looks aren’t as important here. But I’ve known this since I first sprouted boobs, since I also happen to have a functional brain.
Valentine’s Day returns!
I just wanted to say that contrary to the tired cliche, I actually like being single on Valentine’s Day. Don’t get me wrong, having a date or a boyfriend is great too. But when I’m single, I like to treat Valentine’s Day just like any other holiday
or weekend, an excuse to partay!
There’s no expectation and hype about what the guy is gonna do and incessant questions from friends about what I’m doing
I mean get your own life!, followed by the mild disappointment when the plans are pretty much like any other awesome date except with flowers. For me, it’s really not that serious, not nearly serious enough to see Valentine’s themed chocolate and balloons in the stores since January. But I guess people need to be given stuff to look forward to, unlike me where any day I don’t have to work is a cause for celebration.
But there is just one hitch that tries to rain on my single Valentine’s party time parade.
Other single ladies.
Because most single ladies choose this day to throw the biggest forever alone pity party, hence perpetrating the cliche forever alone jokes.
I know, I know, everywhere you turn there’s a Valentine’s Day commercial of smiling women getting jewelry and flowers and hugs, from their GQ boyfriends or husbands. Yeah, yeah yeah, everyone else is in a blissful relationship except for you and you’re gonna drown yourself (and your fun loving friend!) in that misery today. You dwell on what you don’t have and what you’re not getting this year. Which you conclude means that you’ll die alone. And that’s all you want to complain about all day. Sober or drunk.
Stop it. Just stop.
I’m just here to say, it doesn’t have to go down that way. First some perspective. All those commercials and pink and red themed candies and gifts at the store is just to get peoples money. Don’t use their presence to torture yourself. Also, everyone who is in a relationship isn’t in a blissful, happy one. Be grateful that you’re not in a shitty relationship, which would guarantee an even shittier Valentine’s day. Promise.
Celebrate that you are alive and healthy, that you have friends willing to hang out with you today and have some fun
that you hopefully won’t ruin with your self pity. There’s always a bright side and I suggest you focus on that. It’ll be better for you. But more importantly, better for me. Please don’t make me wish I was back at work.
HAPPY VALENTINES’ DAY!
I’m really sick of people talking about how Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber are supposed to be role models, and should act like it. Did I fall asleep when people voted two children to exemplify all that is right and holy in the world for our other kids to look up to?
Can we pause for a second and realize how dumb this sentiment is? I get it. They are popular. They were introduced to us by entertaining the youth, ergo, have millions of young fans. Fine. But why the fuck are we labeling them as people who should know how life should be lived and a guide for kids? Lemme break this down for you. First of all, Miley is 21. Twenty. One. Please remember this. (Justin is 19!)
Before you pass judgement on these two, do you remember what
attention whorey stupid shit you were doing at that age? And for those of you who are proud of the purity of your own children, brace yourself for all the attention whorey stupid shit your kids will have in store for you in that age range. It’s a rite of passage.
You know who should be looked up to? Those boring kids who somehow magically skipped that
attention whorey stupid shit phase as a teen.
I’ve heard the argument, from both parents and kids, that back when Miley was nine years old or something like that, she said that she wasn’t gonna use sex to be popular, was gonna stick to having good values and wanted to be a good role model. And now you feel betrayed.
Maybe, just maybe, some adult in the child fan’s life could take five minutes and explain to the child that celebrities are a different breed of people not living in the real world. What you see may not even be the real personality of the person anyway. It’s all an act, a show. Enjoy the show. Admire Miley’s hustle and comfort with public nudity. Admire Justin’s lack of shame and affectation of swag. Admire their singing voices if that’s what you love about them. But don’t get it twisted.
If I aspired to getting drunk under the drinking age, speeding, and smiling like a douche in a mug shot, then Justin would be my role model. Since I don’t, he is not. (For the record, I only wanted to do one of those things, and with the help of a fake ID or some 21 year old guys, I achieved it!)
If you want to use your brains only to get ahead, show your naked body only to the person you’re gonna have sex with, or save the world from the apocalypse people keep predicting will happen, then you should look up to anyone other than a celebrity. They don’t know anything more about life than the rest of us.
Get it together people. You wanna life role model look at…um…well I don’t of any of those. Someone should get on that. Pick someone, real or a celeb, who has the same values as you or a talent you like, then admire them for that and that only. Rest assured, there’s probably some other shit they do that you do not agree with. It’s fine, because you only admire them for what you find admirable, not for anything else.
But just because a celeb can hit a high note or has a number 2 hit, doesn’t mean they know how to do this thing called life. Or what it takes to be happy. We’re all equally clueless on that one.
Have any of you seen this movie?
The summary and trailer are craptacular, but I liked this movie. A lot.
The trailer shows you the character more than the story. It’s really about a dude looking for intimacy but he doesn’t even know what that really is or looks like. That’s not as sexy of a description as a Jersey Shore wanna be, porn and ScarJo (all of which are in the trailer).
It’s worth watching just for the first 20 minutes when the main character, Don Jon, explains the pros and cons of getting off on porn, versus a real girl. I thought it was hilarious! I thought the last 20 minutes or so were not as realistic as the rest of the movie, but it did show how he sees intimacy differently.
And I laahved Scarlett Johannson’s character. She was the hot diva princess who demanded respect and whatever else she wanted (sound familiar? Yeah, there’s no bias here.) I knew from the beginning that she was manipulating him. She knew what she wanted and wasn’t going to settle for anything less!
However! I did not agree with her messing with his interests and ambitions (or lack thereof). She was trying to make him into something he wasn’t and I am not down with that. Let the boy enjoy his hobbies
as long as it doesn’t involve sex with other women. Her character was hugely influenced by romantic comedies and she thought true love meant that a man would do everything you asked him to, and change into whatever you needed him to be. I do not think that’s fair, especially since men have tried to pull this shit with me. Love doesn’t magically turn you into someone else just so you can please the other person. Her character was less interested in knowing the real him, whereas I prefer to get to know the guy I’m dating because I’m nosy and knowledge is power.
Look, as much as I’d love to mold a man like my own personal play-doh puppet, I know it’s just not possible
because I’ve already tried. At best it’s temporary. He’s gonna revert back to his same self. And guess what? That’s what you’re gonna get stuck with. So I just take what I see at face value and judge whether or not I can hang with that. The main things I’m demanding about is how our interactions will go and how he treats me but it’s not limited to just that.
So what did I learn? The realization that hit me like a ton of bricks was that some men, or boys, don’t know the difference between intimacy and lust. I know women confuse lust and intimacy, as well as fantasy with love, because I am one and from listening to my friends analyzing the shit out of their guy when the reality is right under their noses. I don’t know why I thought men would automatically know the difference.
Looking back at a few past relationships, I can see that the guys were more in lust with me than in love. And I think we both confused that lust for love. They played nice and ‘put up’ with me and my crazy and not-so-crazy demands because they thought that’s what it would take for us to be close and be in a real relationship. But it’s not. And while they would comply with some things, they would be really selfish with others. They obviously cared about me, because they aren’t monsters, but they seemed unsupportive, dismissive sometimes. Then I would label them as jerks and then fuck with them and the relationship. Just cuz. But now I see that, perhaps, they weren’t doing it on purpose, we both just didn’t know what the fuck we were doing! We didn’t know how to get closer
or didn’t really want to.
I don’t want to downplay sexual attraction and lust, I do think it’s a good thing to have in a relationship! (And blogger, Introverted Playboy, gives a great argument for why here.)
Anyway, the movie did a great job at showing the differences between what men and women expect love to look like and the way media influences them (porn and rom coms).
I wish romantic comedies were more like this, more honest and a dash of intelligence and without the implied ‘they lived happily ever after, they never had any problems after that or wanted to strangle each other and they always look like a perfume ad’.
Because in real life, once you get into the the relationship, it isn’t happily ever after, it’s just more work!
Here’s the craptacular trailer if you want to check it out:
Some of you male bloggers have guessed, based on my few videos, that I actually don’t walk around with bitchface or attitude 24/7. You’re right. I’d rather be joking around
or starting drama. It’s only when I don’t get my way something happens that I think is bullshit that the ‘tude and rants happen.
As I mentioned before, I like to read dating blogs and ranting blogs.
My focus has been on dating with this blog but I will be opening it up to other subjects.
Aren’t some of you sick of me complaining about
men dating with my stellar advice? I know I’m not. But I have so many other things to WTF about.
I will still rant about dating but other subjects will be thrown in the mix. Stay tuned…
I know everyone has viewed their WordPress stats and all that. So I thought I’d give a shout out to those that help make this blog happen by reading and commenting.
Top 5 Commenters (are guys surprise, surprise)
#1 Is Reema, my game twin! (You beat Social Kenny this year.) My game twin meaning he knows what’s what in the dating world and in life in general, and he breaks it all down here, Reema Chronicles.
#2 Social Kenny, living up to his name while handing out PUA advice at his blog with his in-your-face writing.
#3 Marellus, a lover and a hater of my posts with no blog of his own (that I know of).
#4 Bogs at Smart Day Game where he chronicles his own PUA adventures and lessons.
#5 Chin Up, Chest High who is going through his dating adventures and lessons as a divorcee.
A quick shout out to #6, Serenity Luv, my top female commenter. Thanks!
Ladies speak up! I like to hear from you too! I’m an equal opportunity attention whore-er!
Top 5 Posts
Three Libra Men Strike Out (who knew so many women googled Libra Men?)
I have to give a special thanks to Captain Capitalism for single-handedly making the top two posts as popular as they were. Thanks for sharing this blog with your Manosphere buds. Because every attention whore knows that any attention is better than none, so I thank you from the bottom of my heart! You’ve given me more views than my actual fans!
Okay, enough about you people. Let’s get back to ME! Here are some of my random personal Top 5 lists.
My Top 5 Things I Love to Rant About
#2 Traffic making me late
and not the fact that I woke up late, or left late, or took too long doing my hair
#3 My hair not doing my bidding
anything and everything but mostly that I have to do it…sometimes
#5 Anything that I think is Bullshit
My Top 5 Songs of the Moment
#1 No Angel by Beyonce
#2 National Anthem by Lana Del Rey (WARNING: this is the long version of her video and may be offensive to some. I just love that she has mixed kids in the video).
#3 If I Were a Boy, the GLEE cover
damn I wish I could sang!
#4 Yonce by Beyonce
#5 Flawless by Beyonce (okay, okay I just got her new album and I am all over it)
My Top 5 Beauty Products I Fell In Love With in 2013
#1 Aloe Juice
#2 Coconut Oil
#3 Lancome anything
#4 Giovanni anything
#5 Nars Bronzer Powder
My Top 5 Drinks I Drank in 2013
#1 Any Margarita specialty drink
#2 Sweet tea vodka with lemonade
#3 Snow cone
#4 Pina Colada on the rocks
#5 Flavored Mojito’s
My Top 5 Sleeping Positions when Next to a Guy
#1 My head on his chest aka him as a human pillow
#2 My feet underneath some part of him aka him as a human foot warmer
#3 Spread out on the bed like a star fish so that he has only a sliver of bed to sleep on
#4 Sleeping on one of his arms so that he has to stare at my beauty all night since he is wide awake (because his arm underneath me is asleep due to me cutting off it’s blood circulation)
aka him as a human heater
Make room 2014, make room!
My New Years Resolution?
To do absolutely
nothing whatever I want. Fuck it.
I should be able to stick to this one!