McDreamy Mug Shot, WTF Ladies?

Published June 23, 2014 by bossymoksie

Ladies.

NO.

Just, no. Stop.

mcdreamy mugshot

More like McNightmare than McDreamy….

Calm it the fuck down. Step away from the mug shot and ‘Like” button. Get off your ass, and go meet some available, real life guy that doesn’t have a rap sheet of carrying weapons illegally and using them on people.

You are embarrassing yourselves right now.

I hate, HATE!, to say this but I am so Team Guys-Who-Complain-About-Women right now.

 

Why Being Bitch-tacular Is Necessary

Published June 20, 2014 by bossymoksie

Hello my peeps! Just dropping in to say hi and let you know I’m still alive and kicking. I’ve been out summer-ing and enjoying being away from the laptop. (I’m also enjoying making up new words!)

I just wanted to give props to Introverted Playboy and a post he did about women who act bitchy towards men in the dating scene. He made great observations as to why some of us act this way and it is spot on! (He also makes suggestions as to how to deal with it, also spot on).

If you’re too lazy or uninterested to read, it’s basically a defense mechanism. It’s a way to lessen the number of interactions that we give our undivided attention to. And not waste time with guys we don’t like, for whatever reason. If you have multiple dudes approaching you all the time, not just the club, and most of them act entitled, aren’t attractive or interesting to you, or obviously just trying to waste your time to get something they want, you’re not always gonna be in a good mood when you are approached!

Honestly, whenever I notice a guy noticing me, or when a new guy speaks to me even, I am already on the defense. My smiles and friendliness are earned! I have to see that you are cool and not a weirdo first. I could be laughing up a storm and clowning it up with a group of people, male or female, but as soon as a new guy enters my sphere to directly interact with me, the bitch shield goes on stand by.

We can’t be Miss America and be all smiles to everyone all the damn time. It’s really not my job in life to reinforce your attractiveness or worth as a man by coddling you when you step up to me. I’m sorry if that took you a lot of nerve to come over and say hi, which I’ve learned from the blog-o-sphere is a pretty large feat for guys. But it is definitely not my job to affirm every single fucker who has the inclination to approach me and take up some of my time and space unless there is some sort of job out there where I can get paid to do that. If there is, please email me and let me know where I can apply! Don’t take it personal.

P.S.- Sometimes I may be in a bad mood that has nothing to do with you at all. Again, don’t take it personal.

That is all.

Happy Summer-ing!

 

Because They Can

Published May 3, 2014 by bossymoksie

I have a friend that’s doing the whole online dating thing. She was supposed to go out on a date with this guy on the weekend. Two nights before the date, he texts her late at night and asks if she would like to come over. She calls him out on the bootie call invitation, he plays innocent. Then she cancels their date, he gets mad and insults her (something about that’s why he doesn’t date black chicks, which black chicks LOVE to hear), she has a comeback for him, then a racially charged insult-fest ensues.

After texting all her friends a snapshot of the text exchange so we could all have a nice laugh , she lamented why guys still did the text bootie call thing.

Because they can.

Okay. I have to talk about this bootie call thing. Unlike my dear friend, I am not shocked that men fish for this. Guys do it because it works. Some girls will say no. But then there are others who will go for it. Guys are about results. They do what works and then they beat it to death until it doesn’t work anymore. Asking girls to come over late at night works. It just does. Is this the guys fault? Hell no. If no girl ever fell for that BS, guys would stop doing it.

True story.

It’s just logic.

I can’t even be that mad at dudes anymore. In fact I’m annoyed with the girls MORE. Because some lonely, bored desperate chick keeps saying yes telling men everywhere that this is all he needs to do to get laid. Guys do it because they can. And that charmer I mentioned above will likely have some girl up in his house at some point by doing the exact thing he did to my friend. Which was just ask in a text.

Just remember ladies, whenever a guy does something stupid to get into your pants to date you, it’s most likely because some stupid chick let him in the past. It’s our fault. Or he’s a clueless jerk. But 9 times out of 10, it’s the former.

Don’t Give a Bitch Your Credit Card

Published April 25, 2014 by bossymoksie

As I’ve mentioned before, I only like to do my job description and nothing else. If it’s not in my job description when you hire me, or promote me, I’m not doing it. And where there’s a will there’s a way. This is why I’ve never learned how to make coffee. This and because I don’t drink it. And yet, I’ve worked in several offices where people tried to make that part of my job responsibility.

It never ends up being my responsibility because I’m never the first one in the office because I’m always running late, and I’m not even drinking it and IT WASN’T IN MY JOB DESCRIPTION BITCH!

I usually get out of it by saying I don’t drink it and don’t even know how to work a coffee pot. But one job had the audacity to try to teach me. I half paid attention. Then when I had to make the coffee, I almost broke the coffee pot by flooding it. After that, they begged me to never go near it again.

Now for the main story of this post. I once had a data entry position. I was new and working a night shift. One night when I was working by myself, this supervisor FROM ANOTHER DEPARTMENT, comes over to me, and asks me if I could call Pizza Hut to order some pizza for him and his department (10 people or less) since they stayed late and were doing such a great job. I looked at him like he was crazy.

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?

This was my first week working by myself after training. Therefore, I was slow and had work to do. So, no, I was not eager to jump up and do his bidding just to impress a superior or get his approval since I was new. Especially since he wasn’t directly my boss. Furthermore, I am not one of those girls who likes to make sure other grown ass adults are fed, comforted, and taken care of. Because I don’t give a fuck. (And there were a few women that worked there that are like that and would have gladly done this). Don’t get me wrong, I love to win a popularity contest. I love for people to luuuurve me! But on my terms.

I told him that I had work to do and he should just take care of it. He persisted.

He said it would only take 5 minutes, which was complete bullshit. Because it took him 10 minutes to talk me into doing it (and me saying that WHEN my real work isn’t finished, I will tell my boss it was because of this ‘urgent’ task). Then it took him another 5 minutes to show me how to bypass the company’s software so I could get on Google to get Pizza Hut’s phone number. Adding the actual phone call, and the conversation about the stupid pizza before and after it arrived, it was about 30-45 minutes wasted on his bullshit. And I don’t play that. The only bullshit I deal with is my own. He just wanted the little lady to do it. And do it I would. He handed me his credit card and went back to his department. He even said I could have some of that shit. How nice.

I called and they said they had a special. 10 pizza’s for $10 each. I said, sign me up. Sidenote: I’ve actually had jobs where I had to buy coffee or pizza and pick items up. I gladly did it BECAUSE IT WAS IN MY JOB DESCRIPTION.

Anyway, the delivery guy arrived and I pointed him to the direction of the supervisor without even looking up. He went back there and then quickly ran out.

pizza time

You asked for it, you got it. And by ‘it’ I mean a bitch slap.

“ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS!” the supervisor screamed from the other room.

He came over to my desk.

“You ordered a hundred dollars worth of pizza?”

“Yeah, it sounded like a good deal.”

“A hundred dollars. What are we gonna do with all that pizza?”

“Eat it.”

“You must be the only person in the world who doesn’t know how to order pizza! You will never order food for this office again!” and he stomped away.

Bitch please.

The following week, he told people what an idiot I was and tried to make me feel dumb. I just laughed. I didn’t care. But the women would walk up to the supervisor and jokingly ask him for his credit card so they could order food for the office, then laugh, at him. I guess he never handed someone his credit card like that before. All the other supervisors laughed and said I won’t be doing that in my future.

THAT’S WHAT I WANTED! Do you really think my feelings were hurt? MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

As soon as I became proficient at what I was paid to do and was free from doing bullshit favors, I used my extra time Googling bullshit online, reading celeb gossip, checking Facebook, and browsing Amazon. Too bad I still didn’t have his credit card. Those dumb bitches could think whatever they wanted. My ass is only going to do what I want to do. You’re lucky I want to pull my own weight.

It’s not about working for the job, it’s about making the job work for you.

When Girls Attack…

Published April 18, 2014 by bossymoksie

I love hanging with the girls. I am a girls’ girl who has many a girl friend. I do not understand how girls cannot be friends with other girls Where do you get beauty tips and unsolicited dating advice from? Besides tumblr, instagram, facebook, google search, youtube, blogs, etc. Although I am friends with even those girls.

But there is one thing that really gets on my fucking nerves.

When girls are competing for a guys attention. Usually there’s one or two guys in a room that all the girls make a beeline for. I don’t care if you’re throwing your boobs in his face, bragging about yourself, or even lying about who you are and your interests. The thing that really gets me is when you try to throw ME under the bus.

Here’s how it goes down. Women quickly scan the room and call dibs, sometimes only in their own mind, of which guys belongs to them. Fine. The problem happens when that guy they had secretly betrothed themselves to starts following me around. This happens pretty regularly due to my boobs sparkling personality and dazzling wit.

What do my ‘friends’ do? They make passive aggressive insults about me, or underhanded compliments. They try to make me look bad in the hopes of him losing interest. Surprisingly, not many strangers do this. But my FRIENDS and acquaintances have. Let me break down why this shit annoys me.

ONE- It isn’t even effective. It never works. NEVER. This is one of the reasons why I know when a guy wants someone, he will pursue that female no matter what. Doesn’t matter what his friends say. Doesn’t matter what the cock-blocking bitches who want him have to say or even the desperate things they are willing to do. Hell, doesn’t even matter what the actual female he wants says. He’s going for it.

So you saying that I wish I could kill puppies in my spare time isn’t gonna dissuade him much if he’s attracted. He’s still thinking “Eh, I’d still hit it”. The next time some bitch is getting all the attention from the man of your dreams, try to reveal your best assets when an opportunity arises, instead of trash talking the girl who is murdering your personal rom com fantasy talking with your crush. Trying to spread rumors or discredit my character isn’t gonna get him to back down. And some guys can smell the insecurity and desperation on you. They know they can ignore you now, go after their first choice and hit you up whenever they feel like it. So you need to calm down the thirst.

TWO- You are my supposed friend. I held your hand when you got dumped. I drank with you when you needed to forget about your work troubles. I went hiking with you when you wanted to lose those 10 more pounds that you will probably never lose. But the fact that you’re willing to ignore all that for some dude you just met and talk shit about me just so you can look and feel better about yourself hurts. And is shitty. That’s not what a true friend does. What happened to hoe’s before bro’s? Look I get it, you’re feeling insecure and desperate. At the moment it feels like your only chance of love and happiness and riding on ponies while holding hands is slipping from your grasp. But trust that I wouldn’t knowingly go after someone you want. I can’t help if he’s following me around. You can’t either really. Also, I can’t read your mind when we’re meeting someone for the first time and know that you’re already dreaming about having 2.5 children with him in your dream barbie home.

And wouldn’t you rather get the guy that knows how special you are on site, that follows you around, that you don’t have to sell out your friends, flash your tits or boil small furry animals to get his attention?

Apparently not because-

THREE- 9 times out of 10, the dude these bitches are chasing are douche-bags. This is really the icing on the cake. You are willing to talk smack about the girl who’s gonna be there for you when this douche inevitably disposes of you, or tries his damndest to. So if you’re willing to toss a good friendship in the toilet for that dude, be my guest. For the guy who wouldn’t spit on you if you were on fire. In fact he probably set the fire in the first place. For the dude who wouldn’t give you five minutes of his attention, and if he does, it’s to make YOU feel like shit so he can feel better about himself. The guy who has no intention of giving you anything you’ve ever wanted, but for some reason you are hanging in there for it to magically happen.

You won’t be shoving me under the bus in the future because I won’t be standing by you anymore. If you wanna take that insecure joy-ride to hell, you can count on someone else taking that ride with you there. Because I am not the one. If you want to be insecure to get an insecure guy, and then put me in the middle of this bullshit dance, because he likes staring at my chest then you be my guest. I’m gonna be elsewhere being awesome.

I’m not gonna be your scapegoat and I don’t want your douche-bag.

scapegoat, thrown under bus

Get your shit together, ladies.

Moksie’s Non-Date With an Actor

Published April 10, 2014 by bossymoksie

So. James Franco. What’s more interesting than the actual incident are the online reactions from women. Some are clutching their pearls and calling him a pedofile, even though in New York the age of consent is 17. Some are shocked that men in their 30’s hit on 17 year olds. Really? Were you never 17 and hit on by a 35+ year old dude? Some are delusioned convinced it’s PR stunt for his new movie because it’s about a soccer coach who sleeps with a 14 year old…based on a book he wrote. I’m gonna keep my thoughts on that to myself. Yes, even after James Franco admitted to doing it, they still think it’s planned attention whoring instead of being caught at average attention whoring.

Then there are the women who are upset that he is treating a 17 year old like a mere prostitute, while praising the girl for saying no and outing him, but admit that if they were in her shoes they would have done it. Huh? Lastly, there are the fangirls that are slut-shaming the 17 year old. How does that work? So we are slut-shaming girls who actually don’t have sex, because the guy you have a crush on wants to have sex with her? That’s what we’re doing now ladies? Good to know.

I think the most disturbing thing for me is his game. He was super thirsty. He was acting like a 15 year old virgin, who resembles a distant cousin to Quasimodo, and thought this was his only slim shot of getting laid. James, do you not have groupies? You know you don’t have to go down that way? There’s an easier way. Right? Maybe he still needs to feel the thrill of the chase sometimes. Shrug.

 

james franco

Even famous actors aren’t immune to the thirst. For other hilarious memes: http://elitedaily.com/humor/presenting-new-catch-franco-meme/

It’s weird to live in a culture where most women go gaga over these famous attention whores  ‘creative, intellectual’ guys, especially since their desirability is mostly smoke and mirrors. I bet if they really met most of these guys, they would cringe. And in reality, these guys probably have a distorted view about women and intimacy because of the groupies and yes men.  I mean just read the gossip columns.

Just like this successful director and actor I went out with. Well I remembered another story.

Back in my LA days, I went to a friends movie set, just cuz, and met a friend of a friend of his that was a steadily working actor. He had one of those aspirational names that made you wonder if he changed it so he could be unique. Let’s call him ‘Journey’. He seemed really cool and we had a few hobbies in common and he wanted to show me some cool places in relation to these hobbies. I was real excited about these places but when I pitched the idea to my boyfriend at the time, he was not cool with me hanging out with some dude I just met. I invited my boyfriend to tag along but he was still not reassured down. So I cancelled my new friendship plan and didn’t hang out with Journey, though we exchanged polite emails.

Time passed and the boyfriend and I broke up. Journey contacted me out of the blue some time after. I was not attracted to him but I was attracted to access to those cool places. So I thought, okay we’ll be friends and I’ll get to see these cool places and he’ll have the pleasure of my company and attention. Because that’s always a good trade -off because guys usually go for it and I am pretty awesome to hang with. We agree to have friendly drinks to catch up. Let me remind you that there was no flirting! Not even from him. Everything was just conversational.

I meet him at his place. OUTSIDE, BITCHES, OUTSIDE. He invited me in, of course, but I wanted to get to the drinking because I had plans to meet up with my real friends later. We go to this nice wine bar and order. We generally catch up and the wine arrives and things were going my way okay. Until-

While talking he put his hand on my knee.

I picked it up like a wet cloth and tossed it back to his lap. His response?

“Are you religious?”

It’s literally what came out of his mouth. “I’m not fucking religious, I just don’t want you to touch me,” I replied. He then brought up several topics as to why I was such a prude without actually calling me one. Was I a feminist? Daddy issues? Insecure? Body Issues? Like he really was confused as to why I would not want to be fondled touched by him.

At this point I realized that I would be meeting my friends sooner than planned. I also realized that all the cool places and connections he allegedly had wasn’t gonna be worth spending any more time in the same room with him. He then changed tactics subjects. He talked about all the movies he’d been in, all the parts he was up for, the celebrities he knew and worked with, all the awards he won for some karate kid wannabe sport he competed in before becoming an actor, etc. BORING!

If we’re gonna talk about the awesomeness of someone, that someone is gonna be me. But I would settle for talking about opinions, recent news, or jokes even. Somehow, he misinterpreted my look of trying not to fall asleep and leaned in for a kiss.

I pushed him back before he reached my face and said “What are you doing?”

He replied, “Oh, you weren’t feeling that?”

“No.”

This non-date was over. I didn’t even finish the glass of wine. I told him I had to meet up with some people and we had to leave. He didn’t believe me and demanded proof that I had somewhere else to go. He was stunned that I was ready to go and was leaving him. Stunned. And then he tried to shame me about the validity of my excuse to leave.

Whatever. Listen, I have NO shame. I especially don’t have shame in lying, and even less shame lying to an annoying douche, and even less shame than that, being caught in lying to an annoying douche. Has never bothered me. What did bother me was that I was actually telling him the truth. I did not show him proof. I told him I would wait at my car as he paid for the drinks. I drove him back to his place. I didn’t even park, I just stopped on the street for him to get out. He invited me in again. I said no again, then sped off.

I get it. Guys are gonna try to bust a move on you on dates, and occasionally on non-dates. But what made this guy creepy was that he was operating in an everyone-wants-to-fuck-me nonreality, and not in, well, reality. One minute we are talking, and the next he is dry humping my leg. WTF.

Looking back, I realize that dates and non-dates go way better when you go out with someone because of who they are, versus what you think they could give you. Eh, live and learn.

 

Ask a Bitch!

Published April 2, 2014 by bossymoksie

Just in time for my two year anniversary as a blogger on WordPress! A despairing commenter in need of advice!

In this blog post series, I answer questions about love, dating and tricky relationship situations in my own awesome way (question in bold):

I would like to bring my story that is probably over even if I still have a hope for a miracle.
I met this guy online, I was not as much into him but first date totally changed everything. There was a massive click. We spent 4 amazing hours together. We was real gentlemen. We met up for another date 1,5 week later as we both were very busy and he had his family over.
The second date we went to the gallery and than to winery place, and again the evening was great, the man was willing o pay for everything (the same case with first date) and really treated me like a princess. He was saying : ‘I must show you this, you need to try this, I will cook this etc” At the end of the evening when we were about to leave each other and I asked him ‘if I’m going to see him again’, he said of course but only if I am as well interested, I said yes and than he gave me a glimpse of a kiss and disappeared. I felt amazing.The next day he texted and ask if he can invite me for a dinner and than we could go and watch one of his move (we both love french movies) at his place.

And here it starts, I lost my trust… I started to think that maybe sex is the thing he is after. Anyway I was not planning to go to his place, but after dinner things turned differently, I went. I slept over, amazing night however we didn’t make the sex. The next day he prepared breakfast an and gave me (lunch to work) what I found very sweet. He was very caring and he mention well – next time you come we will do this, that and that… He drop me to bus stop. I got text from him the next day saying that it took him a while to recover after the night but that he doesn’t regret the magic of the moment. I replied kindly and somehow we arranged to see each other the same day in the evening and maybe it was a mistake. He came over to my area, and he lives very far away. We went for a dinner and going in the through dark forest he stopped he started to kiss me. We stayed like that 5minutes and again unplanned we went to mine. He was very caring and he stayed over but as perviously there was intimacy (we were both naked) but no sex involved. He very wanted but we did not do it, he started to ask if he is doing something wrong and I ensured him that he is very sexy and that I’m very attracted to him is just I need a little more time.

The morning was awkward, we did not speak too much. I felt that he doesn’t like me anymore, and he might felt bad after the night. Two days later after speaking with male friend I decided to drop him a line and he called me the same evening, I asked if he didn’t feel good at mine and he said yes, he said he didn’t feel comfortable that time and he said maybe we should date other people. I felt hurt even if I knew something was in the air. I hung up pretty fast so didn’t get to the details. I send one txt straight after and he replied that “there are guys out there that will make me happier than he could do”.

I was very sad. I knew he was going on holiday next couple of days. I did care a lot about him. I drop him a short text saying: surerly having good time?” while he was on holiday but he did not reply. I thought ok I have to leave it. But than talk to my very wise friend and he said out of the store he can assume that the man may have some sexual issues or complex I have no clue about and that thats why he is stepping back, me from the other side I lost confidence because I started to think that that all he wanted was sex. Anyway I was feeling fine and send him a message to let him know that I ad absolutely good time with him and that the bed moments were absolutely amazing and that its a pity it need the way we both don’t feel good about it at the end. He replied saying: “I got conviction we are looking for different things, do you think differently?”… I replied but haven’t heard from him after and it’s been 10 days. End of story. I moved on. Started dating others but is just not the same I just do care about him deeply and would like to get an advice from anyone anyone if there is anything that I could do to get the man back… or I just have to forget and take it as an amazing moments…?

 

I have heard this story too many times. Hell, I’ve lived this story myself once or twice.

Ladies, I think we all have to remember from time to time that men are not complicated like we are. If he wants to be with you, you will not be able to get rid of him. Even after ruining his favorite sports jersey, or cursing out his boss, or pushing his grandmother down the stairs.

If he does not want to be with you, he will simply not be. He will disappear completely or make the occasional cameo into your vagina life. This guy literally said he is looking for something different than you. Case closed. No need to rack your brain over what you did right or wrong, or what is going on in his mind. HE ALREADY TOLD YOU.  He also said he is not capable of making you happy. BELIEVE HIM. And run. Why would you want to get him back? He either can’t, or doesn’t want to, give you what you want. He is literally telling you to look elsewhere. This isn’t a test. This isn’t a challenge. This isn’t a puzzle. It’s literal.

There is something you can do. For you. Remind yourself of what you want in a relationship and focus on that. I don’t know about you, but I like a man who gladly does whatever I tell him to respects my boundaries, makes it all about me appreciates me and wants to, oh I don’t know, stick around. A man can wine, dine and compliment me all he wants. He’ll have my attention. But he’ll get little else until I know his sun, moon and stars revolve around ME. But you decide what you want for you. It seems like you want a guy who is into you enough to continue dating you and is willing to wait until you’re ready to have sex. This is not that guy.

It’s one thing to talk about adventures together, it’s a whole other ballgame to actually HAVE adventures together. That’s the guy you should be swooning over. Actions always speak louder than words. Pay attention to his actions. Right now, his actions are to ignore you. Is that what you want out of a relationship? To be ignored? Didn’t think so.

I don’t think it’s sexual insecurities that made him back away. Based on what you wrote, he was trying to score (and your instincts picked up on this!). Which is why there was a part 2 in that 3rd date. When you said you needed more time, he wasn’t interested in giving it. Whatever his issues are, remember that they are HIS issues, not yours. Don’t dwell on it.

Focus on the guy that will give you what you want. Not on the guy running away from you.

 

If anyone wants my bitchy advice, please ask away in the comments section or email me at bossymoksie@gmail.com. I will answer in a future blog post.

If you don’t want my bitchy advice, you might get it anyway.

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