Moksie’s Non-Date With an Actor

So. James Franco. What’s more interesting than the actual incident are the online reactions from women. Some are clutching their pearls and calling him a pedofile, even though in New York the age of consent is 17. Some are shocked that men in their 30’s hit on 17 year olds. Really? Were you never 17 and hit on by a 35+ year old dude? Some are delusioned convinced it’s PR stunt for his new movie because it’s about a soccer coach who sleeps with a 14 year old…based on a book he wrote. I’m gonna keep my thoughts on that to myself. Yes, even after James Franco admitted to doing it, they still think it’s planned attention whoring instead of being caught at average attention whoring.

Then there are the women who are upset that he is treating a 17 year old like a mere prostitute, while praising the girl for saying no and outing him, but admit that if they were in her shoes they would have done it. Huh? Lastly, there are the fangirls that are slut-shaming the 17 year old. How does that work? So we are slut-shaming girls who actually don’t have sex, because the guy you have a crush on wants to have sex with her? That’s what we’re doing now ladies? Good to know.

I think the most disturbing thing for me is his game. He was super thirsty. He was acting like a 15 year old virgin, who resembles a distant cousin to Quasimodo, and thought this was his only slim shot of getting laid. James, do you not have groupies? You know you don’t have to go down that way? There’s an easier way. Right? Maybe he still needs to feel the thrill of the chase sometimes. Shrug.

 

Even famous actors aren’t immune to the thirst. For other hilarious memes: http://elitedaily.com/humor/presenting-new-catch-franco-meme/

It’s weird to live in a culture where most women go gaga over these famous attention whores  ‘creative, intellectual’ guys, especially since their desirability is mostly smoke and mirrors. I bet if they really met most of these guys, they would cringe. And in reality, these guys probably have a distorted view about women and intimacy because of the groupies and yes men.  I mean just read the gossip columns.

Just like this successful director and actor I went out with. Well I remembered another story.

Back in my LA days, I went to a friends movie set, just cuz, and met a friend of a friend of his that was a steadily working actor. He had one of those aspirational names that made you wonder if he changed it so he could be unique. Let’s call him ‘Journey’. He seemed really cool and we had a few hobbies in common and he wanted to show me some cool places in relation to these hobbies. I was real excited about these places but when I pitched the idea to my boyfriend at the time, he was not cool with me hanging out with some dude I just met. I invited my boyfriend to tag along but he was still not reassured down. So I cancelled my new friendship plan and didn’t hang out with Journey, though we exchanged polite emails.

Time passed and the boyfriend and I broke up. Journey contacted me out of the blue some time after. I was not attracted to him but I was attracted to access to those cool places. So I thought, okay we’ll be friends and I’ll get to see these cool places and he’ll have the pleasure of my company and attention. Because that’s always a good trade -off because guys usually go for it and I am pretty awesome to hang with. We agree to have friendly drinks to catch up. Let me remind you that there was no flirting! Not even from him. Everything was just conversational.

I meet him at his place. OUTSIDE, BITCHES, OUTSIDE. He invited me in, of course, but I wanted to get to the drinking because I had plans to meet up with my real friends later. We go to this nice wine bar and order. We generally catch up and the wine arrives and things were going my way okay. Until-

While talking he put his hand on my knee.

I picked it up like a wet cloth and tossed it back to his lap. His response?

“Are you religious?”

It’s literally what came out of his mouth. “I’m not fucking religious, I just don’t want you to touch me,” I replied. He then brought up several topics as to why I was such a prude without actually calling me one. Was I a feminist? Daddy issues? Insecure? Body Issues? Like he really was confused as to why I would not want to be fondled touched by him.

At this point I realized that I would be meeting my friends sooner than planned. I also realized that all the cool places and connections he allegedly had wasn’t gonna be worth spending any more time in the same room with him. He then changed tactics subjects. He talked about all the movies he’d been in, all the parts he was up for, the celebrities he knew and worked with, all the awards he won for some karate kid wannabe sport he competed in before becoming an actor, etc. BORING!

If we’re gonna talk about the awesomeness of someone, that someone is gonna be me. But I would settle for talking about opinions, recent news, or jokes even. Somehow, he misinterpreted my look of trying not to fall asleep and leaned in for a kiss.

I pushed him back before he reached my face and said “What are you doing?”

He replied, “Oh, you weren’t feeling that?”

“No.”

This non-date was over. I didn’t even finish the glass of wine. I told him I had to meet up with some people and we had to leave. He didn’t believe me and demanded proof that I had somewhere else to go. He was stunned that I was ready to go and was leaving him. Stunned. And then he tried to shame me about the validity of my excuse to leave.

Whatever. Listen, I have NO shame. I especially don’t have shame in lying, and even less shame lying to an annoying douche, and even less shame than that, being caught in lying to an annoying douche. Has never bothered me. What did bother me was that I was actually telling him the truth. I did not show him proof. I told him I would wait at my car as he paid for the drinks. I drove him back to his place. I didn’t even park, I just stopped on the street for him to get out. He invited me in again. I said no again, then sped off.

I get it. Guys are gonna try to bust a move on you on dates, and occasionally on non-dates. But what made this guy creepy was that he was operating in an everyone-wants-to-fuck-me nonreality, and not in, well, reality. One minute we are talking, and the next he is dry humping my leg. WTF.

Looking back, I realize that dates and non-dates go way better when you go out with someone because of who they are, versus what you think they could give you. Eh, live and learn.

 

Ask a Bitch!

Just in time for my two year anniversary as a blogger on WordPress! A despairing commenter in need of advice!

In this blog post series, I answer questions about love, dating and tricky relationship situations in my own awesome way (question in bold):

I would like to bring my story that is probably over even if I still have a hope for a miracle.
I met this guy online, I was not as much into him but first date totally changed everything. There was a massive click. We spent 4 amazing hours together. We was real gentlemen. We met up for another date 1,5 week later as we both were very busy and he had his family over.
The second date we went to the gallery and than to winery place, and again the evening was great, the man was willing o pay for everything (the same case with first date) and really treated me like a princess. He was saying : ‘I must show you this, you need to try this, I will cook this etc” At the end of the evening when we were about to leave each other and I asked him ‘if I’m going to see him again’, he said of course but only if I am as well interested, I said yes and than he gave me a glimpse of a kiss and disappeared. I felt amazing.The next day he texted and ask if he can invite me for a dinner and than we could go and watch one of his move (we both love french movies) at his place.

And here it starts, I lost my trust… I started to think that maybe sex is the thing he is after. Anyway I was not planning to go to his place, but after dinner things turned differently, I went. I slept over, amazing night however we didn’t make the sex. The next day he prepared breakfast an and gave me (lunch to work) what I found very sweet. He was very caring and he mention well – next time you come we will do this, that and that… He drop me to bus stop. I got text from him the next day saying that it took him a while to recover after the night but that he doesn’t regret the magic of the moment. I replied kindly and somehow we arranged to see each other the same day in the evening and maybe it was a mistake. He came over to my area, and he lives very far away. We went for a dinner and going in the through dark forest he stopped he started to kiss me. We stayed like that 5minutes and again unplanned we went to mine. He was very caring and he stayed over but as perviously there was intimacy (we were both naked) but no sex involved. He very wanted but we did not do it, he started to ask if he is doing something wrong and I ensured him that he is very sexy and that I’m very attracted to him is just I need a little more time.

The morning was awkward, we did not speak too much. I felt that he doesn’t like me anymore, and he might felt bad after the night. Two days later after speaking with male friend I decided to drop him a line and he called me the same evening, I asked if he didn’t feel good at mine and he said yes, he said he didn’t feel comfortable that time and he said maybe we should date other people. I felt hurt even if I knew something was in the air. I hung up pretty fast so didn’t get to the details. I send one txt straight after and he replied that “there are guys out there that will make me happier than he could do”.

I was very sad. I knew he was going on holiday next couple of days. I did care a lot about him. I drop him a short text saying: surerly having good time?” while he was on holiday but he did not reply. I thought ok I have to leave it. But than talk to my very wise friend and he said out of the store he can assume that the man may have some sexual issues or complex I have no clue about and that thats why he is stepping back, me from the other side I lost confidence because I started to think that that all he wanted was sex. Anyway I was feeling fine and send him a message to let him know that I ad absolutely good time with him and that the bed moments were absolutely amazing and that its a pity it need the way we both don’t feel good about it at the end. He replied saying: “I got conviction we are looking for different things, do you think differently?”… I replied but haven’t heard from him after and it’s been 10 days. End of story. I moved on. Started dating others but is just not the same I just do care about him deeply and would like to get an advice from anyone anyone if there is anything that I could do to get the man back… or I just have to forget and take it as an amazing moments…?

 

I have heard this story too many times. Hell, I’ve lived this story myself once or twice.

Ladies, I think we all have to remember from time to time that men are not complicated like we are. If he wants to be with you, you will not be able to get rid of him. Even after ruining his favorite sports jersey, or cursing out his boss, or pushing his grandmother down the stairs.

If he does not want to be with you, he will simply not be. He will disappear completely or make the occasional cameo into your vagina life. This guy literally said he is looking for something different than you. Case closed. No need to rack your brain over what you did right or wrong, or what is going on in his mind. HE ALREADY TOLD YOU.  He also said he is not capable of making you happy. BELIEVE HIM. And run. Why would you want to get him back? He either can’t, or doesn’t want to, give you what you want. He is literally telling you to look elsewhere. This isn’t a test. This isn’t a challenge. This isn’t a puzzle. It’s literal.

There is something you can do. For you. Remind yourself of what you want in a relationship and focus on that. I don’t know about you, but I like a man who gladly does whatever I tell him to respects my boundaries, makes it all about me appreciates me and wants to, oh I don’t know, stick around. A man can wine, dine and compliment me all he wants. He’ll have my attention. But he’ll get little else until I know his sun, moon and stars revolve around ME. But you decide what you want for you. It seems like you want a guy who is into you enough to continue dating you and is willing to wait until you’re ready to have sex. This is not that guy.

It’s one thing to talk about adventures together, it’s a whole other ballgame to actually HAVE adventures together. That’s the guy you should be swooning over. Actions always speak louder than words. Pay attention to his actions. Right now, his actions are to ignore you. Is that what you want out of a relationship? To be ignored? Didn’t think so.

I don’t think it’s sexual insecurities that made him back away. Based on what you wrote, he was trying to score (and your instincts picked up on this!). Which is why there was a part 2 in that 3rd date. When you said you needed more time, he wasn’t interested in giving it. Whatever his issues are, remember that they are HIS issues, not yours. Don’t dwell on it.

Focus on the guy that will give you what you want. Not on the guy running away from you.

 

If anyone wants my bitchy advice, please ask away in the comments section or email me at bossymoksie@gmail.com. I will answer in a future blog post.

If you don’t want my bitchy advice, you might get it anyway.

No, I Don’t Want to Give You My Email Address

Shopping is one of the most wonderful, glorious things in the world. Especially when it isn’t your money you are spending. 

I love getting new things and imagining all the wonderful experiences I’m gonna have with my new outfit/jewelry/make-up/latest health and fitness trend. For me, shopping is like Christmas, which might be why I buy gifts for myself as well as others when the real Christmas finally rolls around; STUFF FOR ME!

Good times. Except for when you get to the cashier.

The cashier rings you up. As she/he takes your money, they ask “Do you have an email address?”

Of course I have an email address, bitch! I’m not some backwater redneck, or an 80-year old afraid of the world wide webs. Everyone has an email address. The real question is, do I want to give it to you?

Listen, I’m already giving you my semi- hard earned money. I don’t want you contacting me all hours of the day and night, trying to get me back to your store with lame offers. The offers are usually 15% or less, or for bulk buying. Who really needs 6 bottles of Jasmine Smoke lotion and body wash? Especially if you’ve already bought that the last time you were there?

When I go shopping, I want to go in there, have some fun, and get out. I don’t want you to have all my contact info so you can stalk me. I’ll come back when I want something from you. No strings attached. I’ll see ya when I see ya. My purchase isn’t a lifelong commitment! It was one transaction, it’s not forever!

This is probably how a dude feels about a needy one-night stand. Because it’s definitely how it feels to have a fling with a needy dude. 

I made the mistake of doing that with a store I frequented a lot and I got an email EVERYDAY, and none of the offers and sales were worth running over there. Every day, I opened the email hoping there would be some ‘50% off just for you because you’re awesome and always here anyway’ offer. Never happened. Tease.

I know what times of the week and year to go for the best deals, with or without your harassment emails. I don’t need you constantly contacting me, or giving my information out to your affiliates so they can harass me too. I also don’t need a credit card from you so I can be in debt to you. You are my bitch, not the other way around. I’m not gonna drop everything to come running to you just because you sent me an email. I so would for the right price though. When I make it rain well, sometimes sprinkle in your store, you’re the one who jumps up and dances. Furthermore, I am not clogging up my email with your BS so that I can’t see the ones from my REAL friends with their BS.

You’re already getting my money! What more do you want you needy bitches! My first born?!

My life doesn’t revolve around you! I have shit to do. Like shopping at other places.

Whenever they ask me that dumb ass question I just shake my head and wave my hand, waving their stupid question away like the boss I am.

Who’s the Boss?

Most of this blog has been dedicated to my dating thoughts and rants.

Let me take this post to rant about my least favorite subject ever: work.

Nobody misses work when they are away from it.

I have a similar attitude towards work that I have with dating. It’s about showing people how to treat you and what they should expect from you. Don’t be a doormat in either place, because people will gladly wipe their feet on you. The interview process is not unlike the first few dates of a potential beau. The hope, the excitement and newness of it all, only to be crushed by the cruel reality down the road that this one is just as disappointing and predictable as the previous ones.

This is what I’ve learned. I do not do anything more than what my job description says. Fuck that. This is what we agreed on and I am holding up my end. This is what happens when you try to go above and beyond. It becomes yours permanently! With no additional money, title, or official say in what goes on! That doesn’t bother you? That’s fine, until you realize that all you did was give Mr. Motormouth and Ms. Lazy-shit more time to talk and be fucking lazy. Because you’re doing parts of their jobs that they never got done. So while you’re slaving away, these two morons are just being morons and not doing work. And if you’re still fine with that because you like your job, you like the new put-upon tasks, and you want to impress the bosses to move up the ladder, then good luck with that.

This is what sucks about that. When your unorganized boss fucks up, which is inevitable, and suddenly there’s a big push to get a bunch of crap done in a short period of time, guess who ends up with having to push their life aside to get it done? YOU. The one who took on more than what your job is paying for. Not the unorganized boss, not lazy-shit, or motor mouth. Have fun with that pressure! Without the money or title or a choice. Keep in mind that the person who actually does get a promotion is usually the kiss ass net-worker. Why would they promote you when you’re doing such a great job of doing all the worker bee tasks whatever it is that you’re doing, plus other people’s work, without complaint?

When I get more dumped on me, I make sure that the boss and co-workers know I am doing them a favor, and this is not a regular thing. I make sure they know, whether it’s true or not, that what I have on my plate is all I can handle. They want to add more, they have to take something away. And if you’re not gonna give me more money, you sure as hell better get me a free meal, or a bunch of appreciation! Or both. They usually do! 🙂

And this recession bullshit has not changed my attitude. Now companies like to act like they are the choosy hot chick who have too many choices and can be an abusive bitch about it. We’re supposed to go above and beyond and perform back-flips at will like a desperate puppy in order to have the privilege of doing the job of three people without the title or pay. No thank you.

In fact it has made me less interested in being loyal, invested and respectful to companies. Because now I KNOW you will drop me like a diseased sack of potatoes the second your company needs to fix their bottom line so the CEO’s don’t see a dip in padding their own pockets. It’s just business. I get it. Go ahead and save your asses companies! I definitely will continue to look out for mine!

Many of my friends are being over worked and underpaid for it, companies squeezing every last breath of their time, energy, and talents from them until they want to shoot themselves in the head for sweet release. I’ll pass. I am there for a paycheck: not to kiss ass, stress myself out over bullshit or incompetence, or get anyone’s approval. I’m there to do the job I signed up for. Don’t get it twisted. Because I definitely won’t. And the moment we butt heads with that, is the moment I get another job. Because the only person I truly ever answer to, is myself. I am the one that determine’s my workload, schedule, pay, and hours. And I know where the door is if you can’t give me what I want think is fair….or if I’m bored. Just like dating, I do this on my terms. 

I’m not suggesting that everyone quit and move on, but you definitely should remember that your only real boss is YOU. You are in charge of what you give, placing your talents in the right place and in determining your worth. Act accordingly.

CEO of JP Morgan’s Reply to a Hot Chick

Thought I’d share this one with you guys. Especially to all the dudes who like to tell me that ‘looks aren’t everything’, so that they can feel better about themselves and the fact they can’t get laid. The CEO of JP Morgan breaks down why looks aren’t as important here. But I’ve known this since I first sprouted boobs, since I also happen to have a functional brain.

All The Single Ladies!

It’s hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Valentine’s Day returns!

I just wanted to say that contrary to the tired cliche, I actually like being single on Valentine’s Day. Don’t get me wrong, having a date or a boyfriend is great too. But when I’m single, I like to treat Valentine’s Day just like any other holiday or weekend, an excuse to partay!

There’s no expectation and hype about what the guy is gonna do and incessant questions from friends about what I’m doing I mean get your own life!, followed by the mild disappointment when the plans are pretty much like any other awesome date except with flowers. For me, it’s really not that serious, not nearly serious enough to see Valentine’s themed chocolate and balloons in the stores since January. But I guess people need to be given stuff to look forward to, unlike me where any day I don’t have to work is a cause for celebration.

But there is just one hitch that tries to rain on my single Valentine’s party time parade.

Other single ladies.

Because most single ladies choose this day to throw the biggest forever alone pity party, hence perpetrating the cliche forever alone jokes.

The black hole where the minds of singles go. Don’t take me with you!

I know, I know, everywhere you turn there’s a Valentine’s Day commercial of smiling women getting jewelry and flowers and hugs, from their GQ boyfriends or husbands. Yeah, yeah yeah, everyone else is in a blissful relationship except for you and you’re gonna drown yourself (and your fun loving friend!) in that misery today. You dwell on what you don’t have and what you’re not getting this year. Which you conclude means that you’ll die alone. And that’s all you want to complain about all day. Sober or drunk.

You do know that you have more choices than this.

Stop it. Just stop.

I’m just here to say, it doesn’t have to go down that way. First some perspective. All those commercials and pink and red themed candies and gifts at the store is just to get peoples money. Don’t use their presence to torture yourself. Also, everyone who is in a relationship isn’t in a blissful, happy one. Be grateful that you’re not in a shitty relationship, which would guarantee an even shittier Valentine’s day. Promise.

Celebrate that you are alive and healthy, that you have friends willing to hang out with you today and have some fun that you hopefully won’t ruin with your self pity. There’s always a bright side and I suggest you focus on that. It’ll be better for you. But more importantly, better for me. Please don’t make me wish I was back at work.

I love spending valentine’s with the person I love most. Me!

Who doesn’t love a good sale?

HAPPY VALENTINES’ DAY!

How to Choose Role Models

I’m really sick of people talking about how Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber are supposed to be role models, and should act like it. Did I fall asleep when people voted two children to exemplify all that is right and holy in the world for our other kids to look up to?

Can we pause for a second and realize how dumb this sentiment is? I get it. They are popular. They were introduced to us by entertaining the youth, ergo, have millions of young fans. Fine. But why the fuck are we labeling them as people who should know how life should be lived and a guide for kids? Lemme break this down for you. First of all, Miley is 21. Twenty. One. Please remember this. (Justin is 19!)

Chillax people. I’m 21, not Gandhi.

Before you pass judgement on these two, do you remember what attention whorey stupid shit you were doing at that age? And for those of you who are proud of the purity of your own children, brace yourself for all the attention whorey stupid shit your kids will have in store for you in that age range. It’s a rite of passage.

You know who should be looked up to? Those boring kids who somehow magically skipped that attention whorey stupid shit phase as a teen.

I’ve heard the argument, from both parents and kids, that back when Miley was nine years old or something like that, she said that she wasn’t gonna use sex to be popular, was gonna stick to having good values and wanted to be a good role model. And now you feel betrayed.

I’m a kid. And I said the darndest things.

Really? You’re listening to a fucking 9 year old? What was she supposed to say at 9? I can’t wait to be 21 and attention whore with nudity to sell my albums? That was before puberty, Liam Hemsworth, and she probably thought boys and drugs had cooties.

Don’t pretend that puberty and insecurities came along and didn’t fuck up your level headed child self who thought you knew everything in your simple black and white world of Barbie’s or GI Joe’s.

She was probably told to say those things to sell herself and her TV show anyway. That was her angle at the time. She moved on. Which leads me to my next point.

I’m just selling albums ya’ll.

These bitches are celebrities. Their job is to sell their shit music by getting our attention any way they can. Just because they succeeded at getting our attention, doesn’t mean they know shit about life. Ergo, should not be role models of ‘acceptable’ behavior for kids, or anyone. Their job is to entertain, not lead.

Why are celebs generally cast as role models anyway? They are not living life. Not real life like the rest of us. They don’t know shit about the 9 to 5 side eye at you Beyonce for your lyrics in “Ghost”. Normal people don’t have to deal with what celebs deal with and vice versa. They are leading a different kind of life that is intertwined with commerce, so why would we think that their actions would automatically be more level-headed than ours? This makes no logical sense! Am I missing the connection?

Obviously not an outfit that should ever be worn in the real world. Right? Right??!!!

I see why the media would want us to believe that celebs know something that we don’t, but that’s just so that they can sell us whatever crap they choose to.

Listen, some of us grown-ups know that celebs have more money than they know what to do with and seem to want to snort, smoke drink and party it away. If these are things that you aspire to do with your life, then they should be your role models. (Done and done.)

Maybe, just maybe, some adult in the child fan’s life could take five minutes and explain to the child that celebrities are a different breed of people not living in the real world. What you see may not even be the real personality of the person anyway. It’s all an act, a show. Enjoy the show. Admire Miley’s hustle and comfort with public nudity. Admire Justin’s lack of shame and affectation of swag. Admire their singing voices if that’s what you love about them. But don’t get it twisted.

If I aspired to getting drunk under the drinking age, speeding, and smiling like a douche in a mug shot, then Justin would be my role model. Since I don’t, he is not. (For the record, I only wanted to do one of those things, and with the help of a fake ID or some 21 year old guys, I achieved it!)

If you want to use your brains only to get ahead, show your naked body only to the person you’re gonna have sex with, or save the world from the apocalypse people keep predicting will happen, then you should look up to anyone other than a celebrity. They don’t know anything more about life than the rest of us.

Get it together people. You wanna life role model look at…um…well I don’t  of any of those. Someone should get on that. Pick someone, real or a celeb, who has the same values as you or a talent you like, then admire them for that and that only. Rest assured, there’s probably some other shit they do that you do not agree with. It’s fine, because you only admire them for what you find admirable, not for anything else.

But just because a celeb can hit a high note or has a number 2 hit, doesn’t mean they know how to do this thing called life. Or what it takes to be happy. We’re all equally clueless on that one.

What I Learned from “Don Jon”

Have any of you seen this movie?

Men and women think of two different things when it comes to the term ‘happy ending’! lol

The summary and trailer are craptacular, but I liked this movie. A lot.

The trailer shows you the character more than the story. It’s really about a dude looking for intimacy but he doesn’t even know what that really is or looks like. That’s not as sexy of a description as a Jersey Shore wanna be, porn and ScarJo (all of which are in the trailer).

It’s worth watching just for the first 20 minutes when the main character, Don Jon, explains the pros and cons of getting off on porn, versus a real girl. I thought it was hilarious! I thought the last 20 minutes or so were not as realistic as the rest of the movie, but it did show how he sees intimacy differently.

And I laahved Scarlett Johannson’s character. She was the hot diva princess who demanded respect and whatever else she wanted (sound familiar? Yeah, there’s no bias here.) I knew from the beginning that she was manipulating him. She knew what she wanted and wasn’t going to settle for anything less!

However! I did not agree with her messing with his interests and ambitions (or lack thereof). She was trying to make him into something he wasn’t and I am not down with that. Let the boy enjoy his hobbies as long as it doesn’t involve sex with other women.  Her character was hugely influenced by romantic comedies and she thought true love meant that a man would do everything you asked him to, and change into whatever you needed him to be. I do not think that’s fair, especially since men have tried to pull this shit with me. Love doesn’t magically turn you into someone else just so you can please the other person. Her character was less interested in knowing the real him, whereas I prefer to get to know the guy I’m dating because I’m nosy and knowledge is power.

Look, as much as I’d love to mold a man like my own personal play-doh puppet, I know it’s just not possible because I’ve already tried. At best it’s temporary. He’s gonna revert back to his same self. And guess what? That’s what you’re gonna get stuck with. So I just take what I see at face value and judge whether or not I can hang with that.  The main things I’m demanding about is how our interactions will go and how he treats me but it’s not limited to just that.

So what did I learn? The realization that hit me like a ton of bricks was that some men, or boys, don’t know the difference between intimacy and lust. I know women confuse lust and intimacy, as well as fantasy with love, because I am one and from listening to my friends analyzing the shit out of their guy when the reality is right under their noses. I don’t know why I thought men would automatically know the difference.

Looking back at a few past relationships, I can see that the guys were more in lust with me than in love. And I think we both confused that lust for love. They played nice and ‘put up’ with me and my crazy and not-so-crazy demands because they thought that’s what it would take for us to be close and be in a real relationship. But it’s not. And while they would comply with some things, they would be really selfish with others. They obviously cared about me, because they aren’t monsters, but they seemed unsupportive, dismissive sometimes. Then I would label them as jerks and then fuck with them and the relationship. Just cuz. But now I see that, perhaps, they weren’t doing it on purpose, we both just didn’t know what the fuck we were doing! We didn’t know how to get closer or didn’t really want to.

I don’t want to downplay sexual attraction and lust, I do think it’s a good thing to have in a relationship! (And blogger, Introverted Playboy, gives a great argument for why here.)

Anyway, the movie did a great job at showing the differences between what men and women expect love to look like and the way media influences them (porn and rom coms).

I wish romantic comedies were more like this, more honest and a dash of intelligence and without the implied ‘they lived happily ever after, they never had any problems after that or wanted to strangle each other and they always look like a perfume ad’.

Because in real life, once you get into the the relationship, it isn’t happily ever after, it’s just more work!

Here’s the craptacular trailer if you want to check it out:

Opening it Up

Some of you male bloggers have guessed, based on my few videos, that I actually don’t walk around with bitchface or attitude 24/7. You’re right. I’d rather be joking around or starting drama. It’s only when I don’t get my way something happens that I think is bullshit that the ‘tude and rants happen.

As I mentioned before, I like to read dating blogs and ranting blogs.

My focus has been on dating with this blog but I will be opening it up to other subjects.

Aren’t some of you sick of me complaining about men dating with my stellar advice? I know I’m not. But I have so many other things to WTF about.

I will still rant about dating but other subjects will be thrown in the mix. Stay tuned…

My Top 5’s

I know everyone has viewed their WordPress stats and all that. So I thought I’d give a shout out to those that help make this blog happen by reading and commenting.

Top 5 Commenters (are guys surprise, surprise)

#1 Is Reema, my game twin! (You beat Social Kenny this year.) My game twin meaning he knows what’s what in the dating world and in life in general, and he breaks it all down here, Reema Chronicles.

#2 Social Kenny, living up to his name while handing out PUA advice at his blog with his in-your-face writing.

#3 Marellus, a lover and a hater of my posts with no blog of his own (that I know of).

#4 Bogs at Smart Day Game where he chronicles his own PUA adventures and lessons.

#5 Chin Up, Chest High who is going through his dating adventures and lessons as a divorcee.

A quick shout out to #6, Serenity Luv, my top female commenter. Thanks!

Ladies speak up! I like to hear from you too! I’m an equal opportunity attention whore-er!

Top 5 Posts

The Money Guy…I Mean the Funny Guy

I Know, I Know, I’m Always It

It’s Our Anniversary!

Why A New Guy Loses Interest

Three Libra Men Strike Out (who knew so many women googled Libra Men?)

I have to give a special thanks to Captain Capitalism for single-handedly making the top two posts as popular as they were. Thanks for sharing this blog with your Manosphere buds. Because every attention whore knows that any attention is better than none, so I thank you from the bottom of my heart! You’ve given me more views than my actual fans!

Okay, enough about you people. Let’s get back to ME! Here are some of my random personal Top 5 lists.

My Top 5 Things I Love to Rant About

#1 Men Dates

#2 Traffic making me late and not the fact that I woke up late, or left late, or took too long doing my hair

#3 My hair not doing my bidding

#4 Work anything and everything but mostly that I have to do it…sometimes

#5 Anything that I think is Bullshit

My Top 5 Songs of the Moment

#1 No Angel by Beyonce

#2 National Anthem by Lana Del Rey (WARNING: this is the long version of her video and may be offensive to some. I just love that she has mixed kids in the video).

#3 If I Were a Boy, the GLEE cover damn I wish I could sang!

#4 Yonce by Beyonce

#5 Flawless by Beyonce (okay, okay I just got her new album and I am all over it)

My Top 5 Beauty Products I Fell In Love With in 2013

#1 Aloe Juice

#2 Coconut Oil

#3 Lancome anything

#4 Giovanni anything

#5 Nars Bronzer Powder

My Top 5 Drinks I Drank in 2013

#1 Any Margarita specialty drink

#2 Sweet tea vodka with lemonade

#3 Snow cone

#4 Pina Colada on the rocks

#5 Flavored Mojito’s

My Top 5 Sleeping Positions when Next to a Guy

#1 My head on his chest aka him as a human pillow

#2  My feet underneath some part of him aka him as a human foot warmer

#3 Spread out on the bed like a star fish so that he has only a sliver of bed to sleep on

#4 Sleeping on one of his arms so that he has to stare at my beauty all night since he is wide awake (because his arm underneath me is asleep due to me cutting off it’s blood circulation)

#5 Cuddling…awwww aka him as a human heater