Hair Creepers and Pageantry

Published August 21, 2012 by bossymoksie
bar party

Happy Birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

So, it was my birthday weekend, and unlike some people, I had a busy weekend!

One of the things I did was have a girls night out! And of course some dudes wanted to crash. These guys were pretty fun and supplied us with drinks for most of the night, BUT I got a few things to complain about, because that’s what I do.

Firstly, what is it with guys touching your hair? Is this a thing now? And it’s not the obvious moving-it-out-of-your-face gesture. It’s a sly, I’m-sliding-my-hands-down-your-hair-while-you’re-looking-the-other-way. Several times I thought my hair was caught on my armpit/bra/table and then notice some guys hand moving away from my hair. That is creepy right? Wait, why am I asking you, IT IS FUCKING CREEPY!!! That is creepier than trying to grab a boob or handful of ass. Because it’s just hair. That behavior is reserved for relationships, not for fun time flirting. And if its to make me feel more comfortable about touching in general (yeah I got your number, guys), that is NOT the way.

So I told them (because there was more than one), “Stop touching me”. And they backed off. And then they were all, “Fine, we’ll just talk to your friends” and “We will leave you alone then.” As though I was some hysterical schizo making a big deal out of nothing and inventing crazy shit out of thin air. I love it when guys get all upset when you call them out for dumb/lewd/creepy/WRONG behavior. And then act like you’re the one who’s all crazy in life and overreacting. Don’t even try it.

“Okay. Bye.” Um,  I’m not gonna be butt hurt that you’re going away. YOU WERE MOLESTING MY HAIR! And there’s another corner of the bar filled with dudes who’d like to talk to me so it’s okay if you ALL get out of my face. And off my hair.
Of course they didn’t go anywhere (but my hair was, rightfully, left alone).

The other thing that annoyed me was when one of the guys decided to point out our assets. Now, I love flattery and compliments as much as the next attention whore person but this was just lame. This dude pointed out that I got ‘top’ and my friend had ‘bottom’. Um, I didn’t know I had entered the tits and ass pageant, motherfucker. Also, you can refrain from telling me something I already know. How exactly is this making me want to spend more time with you, let alone fuck you? That’s elementary my dear Watson, yes I have tits and my friend has a nice round ass. Wow, so glad you graduated preschool and are able to label body parts. Too bad you won’t be seeing any up close and personal.


19 comments on “Hair Creepers and Pageantry

  • I got friends who swear by the touching thing, whether it’s hair or back or corner of the lip. They believe that’s what causes the positive reaction. And, I guess it is, if you’re totally a mindless zombie. If you just talk the right game, she’ll be the one touching you. Plus, not everyone is as street-smart as you. Most chicks wouldn’t say shit, which just perpetuates……

  • Oh god, that is friggin creepy. I think dudes pick it up on one of those ‘how to pick up chicks’ websites. The advice is probably ‘yeah, chicks will think your sensitive and shit if you touch their hair.’ The websites are generally written by men who haven’t been laid in years.

  • @bossymoksie – the hair thing I freaking hate that crap! Pointing out of the assets. I actually had a guy ask to see my boobs. Said no…Do they pay my bills? No! My response was, if you want to pay all of my damn bills and pay for my hair, and all of my Victoria Secret shit, than fine. The men quickly backed off – thought so…Liz is expensive.

    So, the moment you say, “Do you want to pay my bills?” they back-off. Why? They want their cake and eat it for free!

    Hell no! The only man that gets to see Liz’s goodies is the one that pays Liz’s bills, and pays for my hair, makeup (which is hundreds of dollars) and my Victoria Secret stuff.

    Next time some dude comes up on your hair say, “you wanna pay my bills?” They will back away and fast….

    Thats my two cents…which isn’t worth alot.


  • “liz is expensive”- love it. I will be using that one in the future!

    And of course they want their cake for free!!!! Too many girls out there willing to dish it out too just for the attention.

  • Yea, I see girls all the time just being used, then hair looking all ratty and no makeup. I think, shoot girl, at least get some Victoria Secret panties or have him pay for your hair to get done or some MAC makeup…something. I mean not saying be a prostitute. Guess trying to say…HAVE HIM WINE AND DINE YOU LADIES – if you gonna give out the goodies, at least be wined and dined. 🙂 Get a ring too, a big one. 🙂

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