One of the things I did was have a girls night out! And of course some dudes wanted to crash. These guys were pretty fun and supplied us with drinks for most of the night, BUT I got a few things to complain about, because that’s what I do.
Firstly, what is it with guys touching your hair? Is this a thing now? And it’s not the obvious moving-it-out-of-your-face gesture. It’s a sly, I’m-sliding-my-hands-down-your-hair-while-you’re-looking-the-other-way. Several times I thought my hair was caught on my armpit/bra/table and then notice some guys hand moving away from my hair. That is creepy right? Wait, why am I asking you, IT IS FUCKING CREEPY!!! That is creepier than trying to grab a boob or handful of ass. Because it’s just hair. That behavior is reserved for relationships, not for fun time flirting. And if its to make me feel more comfortable about touching in general (yeah I got your number, guys), that is NOT the way.
So I told them (because there was more than one), “Stop touching me”. And they backed off. And then they were all, “Fine, we’ll just talk to your friends” and “We will leave you alone then.” As though I was some hysterical schizo making a big deal out of nothing and inventing crazy shit out of thin air. I love it when guys get all upset when you call them out for dumb/lewd/creepy/WRONG behavior. And then act like you’re the one who’s all crazy in life and overreacting. Don’t even try it.
The other thing that annoyed me was when one of the guys decided to point out our assets. Now, I love flattery and compliments as much as the next
attention whore person but this was just lame. This dude pointed out that I got ‘top’ and my friend had ‘bottom’. Um, I didn’t know I had entered the tits and ass pageant, motherfucker. Also, you can refrain from telling me something I already know. How exactly is this making me want to spend more time with you, let alone fuck you? That’s elementary my dear Watson, yes I have tits and my friend has a nice round ass. Wow, so glad you graduated preschool and are able to label body parts. Too bad you won’t be seeing any up close and personal.