I had lunch with a friend Sunday where she told me about this dude she was dating. Dating is an exaggeration since they had only met once, at his job, as a quick intro after meeting online. His birthday was this past weekend and his family was taking him out to dinner on Friday. He invited her to come along (a same day invite, which is a red flag). Because she had plans already, they agreed to lunch on Sunday. She then mentioned to him that the Sunday lunch was a date and not an official birthday celebration thing
meaning she wasn’t paying for the date and he got mad! Yes mad! He invited her out so that she could treat him for his birthday. Remember, they had only met once, and this was to be their first official date. So the date was cancelled! And now she was mad and after our lunch pow wow, she was going to give him a piece of her mind!
I know this is some shit I would pull, and if the genders in this story were reversed, I wouldn’t see a problem with it. Yeah, it’s a double standard. So what. My thoughts here will explain why I don’t give a flying fuck.
But this post is about the chase, and why men should be the ones doing it. So let’s back it up and see where she went wrong.
MISTAKE #1: She went to his job,
desperate to see him. They had been talking on the phone for a few months (?!) so she wanted to see him in person to see if he matched his pictures and if they had chemistry. But for some reason or another, they never could hook up. That was a red flag right there. See, if he was really serious – about a relationship- or truly interested in her, they would have seen each other already.
FRIEND: “But, he was busy. I was busy.”
ME: “I don’t care, he would’ve found a way. He would have made time.”
ME: “Even if he were in a freak accident and had crutches and an eye patch, he would have found a way to limp his ass over to see you and look at you with his one eye!”
If I were talking on the phone with a dude for a few months and we never saw each other, I know we never will, unless it’s convenient
bootie call for him. But she wanted to make things happen and initiate the contact. We see how that worked out for her.
MISTAKE #2: She then begrudgingly admitted to me that the weekend before they were supposed to meet up. She told him when she would be free that weekend. He calls -on the same day- and invites her to go bowling. Which was nice because she likes bowling, right? Wrong. He called her at 8pm on Friday night. See what he did there? He waited until he had done every other interesting thing that day, and now that the night was rolling in, he was alone, bored, and possibly horny. THEN AND ONLY THEN he finally got around to inviting her out. She didn’t go, because she has a life and plans, but her mistake was thinking that it was a thoughtful gesture. It wasn’t. He wasn’t thinking about her all day, he thought about her when he had nothing better to think about. Which isn’t saying much.
FRIEND: “But he said he’s spontaneous and likes being that way.”
ME: “He spontaneously likes thinking about his penis and not you. The first date should be planned ahead of time, not the night of. At least the first date!”
If he really wanted to see her, he would have booked her a few days ahead of time TO MAKE SURE. That’s what men do that are really on the hunt. He’s not gonna risk you being busy. Spontaneous is something that should happen later, like sending you flowers at work or showing up at the airport, or busting out a new sex toy. But you ALWAYS KNOW YOU WILL SEE THAT BITCH SOMETIME. Spontaneity should never include whether or not you’re
ever gonna see him. Come on!
MISTAKE #3: This isn’t a big one but I wanted to address this. I would not have brought up the ‘who’s paying’ thing, and when the check came around, I would be looking at him to pick it up, with my evil eye waiting if he even thought about pushing the check my way. I think a part of her knew he was looking for a free meal and that’s why she said something. That said, she should have made the date on a separate weekend from birthday weekend to avoid that awkwardness. Also, I don’t want to hang out with you if I don’t know you on your birthday like that. WTF is wrong with you that you don’t have a bunch of friends and family lining up to spend time with you on your birthday weekend? Why would you want to spend it with some chick you met online and met once for 15 minutes in person? Oh, because you’re a horny loser looking for a free meal. If that’s all you have to do for your birthday then I feel sorry for you!
See, she was doing the chasing and accomodating, while he did- what? Call her and text her. That’s it! Then he sat back to see what he could get.
What mistakes do you think she made, if any?