There’s Science Behind Attraction

Published May 19, 2013 by bossymoksie
cute girl on top of cute guy

Blame it on the biology

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all hear about biology and how it affects our mating rituals. I was browsing Netflix the other week and it suggested a documentary “The Science of Attraction”. I thought, ‘why not?’ and watched. It attempts to blame explain how biology influences our dating bullshit with science. So in no particular order, I will highlight the things that I remember  in case curiousity bit you in the ass like it did me:

-We are attracted to voices! I know, not very original. The explanation; A  deeper voice indicates that a man has more testosterone and higher voices in women indicates that the woman has more estrogen. Men in more primitive cultures with deeper voices usually get the most women and have the most children and become leaders.

-Men are more cocky and aggressive in dating because they have to be. The survival of out species depends on it, ya’ll! If men don’t get out there and think they are God’s gift to the world, there would be no sexing going on, and no procreation. At a speed dating event, they surveyed the participants to get their perspectives on how the night went. Most of the men felt like most of the women wanted them. Meanwhile, most of the women doubted any of the guys were interested. From the science standpoint, men can’t afford to have the same perception that the women had of the event whether that’s the reality or not.

-Guess what men find most attractive on a women? Not boobs, not ass…wait for it. It’s the waist to hip ratio! When men had to study figures and pick the ones that were most attractive, they more likely picked the ones with a good waist to hip ratio whether or not boobs and/or bootie were present.

-Women’s voices get slightly higher and skin looks better and brighter while they are ovulating. It’s nature’s way of tricking alluring a man into thinking she is young and healthy and chock full of estrogen. No Loreal required! (Or not much anyway).

-Smell is a factor. They showed a few studies on this, but I remember when women smelled the sweat of family members on T-shirts, they were repulsed. They said it’s nature’s way of making sure the cave woman didin’t accidentally sleep with a cousin in the tribe. Also, when men smelled a certain compound that comes from the vagina, they thought every woman they saw was attractive. (Forgot the name of this compound.)

-Women are just as likely to cheat as men are. In fact, when a woman has a significant other (boyfriend, husband), they will dress more provocatively and dance sluttier when out with their girls, and flirt more. More in comparison to when they were single, and more than their single friends (I have seen this! Not actually cheating but ‘coupled-up’ girls going wild on their nights out). I guess we really can’t be happy with just  one ladies? Don’t remember the science explanation for this, I only remember one of the talking heads basically saying that woman like drahhmmaaaaaaaa.

-Speaking of, men have had to duke it out with other men to prove who is the ‘strongest’ and a leader to be the ladies first choice. Nowadays, men duke it out with each other for women using money, power and status. Although women like the idea of men competing with each other for them, they don’t care to watch or see how it goes down. They just want to know who won. This is true for humans and other mammals.

-The way you walk is sexy. For women, it’s all about the hips and that junk in the trunk. For men, it’s about squared shoulders and puffed out chest. We subconscioulsly move like this when we are in a dating scene, or around someone we are attaracted to, or when we know we are being checked out.

-Why do we have monogamous relationships while other mammals don’t? This documentary suggests it’s because humans walk upright. So while female mammals can carry babies and food with their mouths and on their backs, we female humans only have arms. Our arms are preoccupied with carrying and feeding the baby, and we cannot protect ourselves or carry and gather food. That’s where the guy comes in. He protects the mother and child and carries the food and anything else. They also pointed out that dopamine (the love chemical in our brain) usually fades after 4- 7 years. They suggest that that’s because the child can now walk and carry things and the women’s arms are free again. Like a timer, it fades away I guess? This is why they think long term relationships don’t survive.

They did do a study on a couple who were still in love after 20 years, the dopamine centers still active in the brain whenever the partner is in the same room or mentioned. They suggest it’s because the couple had other shared goals and ambitions beyond the children (I think they worked together?) and that helped their bond stay alive and those feeliongs of being excited about each other.

-I found this experiment interesting. They took a group of men and women, and dressed them all in plain gray unitards and skullcaps. Then gave them each a number from 1 – 10. They did not know which number they had and they had to wear it on their forehead. Then they were asked to pair off, and the goal was to pair off with a 10. They miked one of the girls so we could hear her comments. She was a 3. She commented on how guys wouldn’t even make eye contact with her. She realized that she must have a pretty low number as she tried to get a 10, then 8, then lower and lower. Her face was attractive so she clearly was not used to being rebuffed. She ended up with a 2.

Conclusion (and how it relates to dating): People date at their attractiveness level.

Everyone wants a 10. Everyone. And because of that, 10’s have more choices and since they also want a 10, well you know what that means. People date at their attractiveness level and end up with them. You date at your level, and you may go up or down one notch but that’s about it. I did notice that some men did get women that were 2-3 numbers higher while some women settled for numbers 2-3 lower than their number. Men won’t go lower without a fight, lol! But for the most part, people paired up with their own number, with a plus or minus one variation. And you pretty much won’t know your ‘number’ until you get out there and see who wants to fuck you.

Lastly…things that influence your attractiveness to the opposite sex.

-What do men look for? They are visual (duh). They like younger looking women because it indicates health and child bearing ability. They are mainly looking (subconsciously) for health cues.

-What do women look for? It’s more complicated for women (double duh). They used this metaphor for what women have to consider and why.

For men, sex is like fast food. It’s cheap, fast and they can come and go when they please (no pun intended you pervs!). For women, sex is like eating at a very expensive restaurant. They may get stuck with a very expensive bill and be stuck there. So women have to be more selective.

Now I’m gonna get literal on ya! Women want to be with a man who will help foot that bill! Yup, status and money are what women look for and increases a man’s attractiveness (no matter what his looks are). When a man is looked up to in a community, or popular, or respected, plus has money, he will be very attractive. It shows women that he has what it takes to take care of us and any babies that may pop up… or out. This means he has the resources and protection she needs. It’s science ya’ll, so don’t fight it!

Nowadays, whether or not these bitches will actually support you, is another story.

That’s all I remember. Did you learn anything new? Probably not. Still interesting though.


13 comments on “There’s Science Behind Attraction

  • I see that we’re ticking on the same wavelength right now since I’d posted something extensive on biology and dating and all that good stuff.

    Voices! I’ve always been self-conscious about my deep voice, which I try to mask since a kid.

  • You also dabbled a bit into the evolutionary Alpha Male. As I’d written in my article, the strongest male survive basically. It’s as simple as that. And that isn’t necessarily physically strong, but guys with strongest game. In a sense, game and skills to seduce is sanctioned by a higher being (if you believe in 1). Guys who can’t get laid and in effect don’t replicate, then he’s basically a dead entity since he doesn’t have any offspring, which is the purpose of life (to reproduce).

  • Interesting article.

    I always found talks about alpha to be a bit controversial. On one hand sure alpha gives the best genetic makeup safety while around.

    But on other hand in ancient times alpha were best hunters and warriors, which also meant short life span. Back than injury meant death and alpha always would be in the line of danger, not to mention probably never around. So not so good for taking care of the kids.

    I think people can stay for many years together, but there must be some factors that make them to stay together, maybe economy falls, war wages, strong mutual interests or deep personal history connecting them both.

    • The documentary was saying that the couple who stayed together had other shared interests besides the kids. So I think if all you do is hang out in your spare time and work and raise the kids, couples fall into a routine and stop connecting. You have to have something beyond your day to day routine that connects you or else both people start looking elsewhere.
      Good point about Alpha’s being the front line! Guess that isn’t a consideration in attraction though. Biologically speaking.

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