Sometimes, guys like to make friendships all blurry. They imply that something more may, or may not be going on in order to get you to warm up to them, open up to them, and confuse you. It’s a strategy used if they’re too scared to be direct, or are unavailable to commit to a real relationship with you.
Here’s my opinion, if you want a real fucking girlfriend, then stop being a pussy and go get one. If you want to just get laid, then don’t act like a boyfriend. This only makes shit confusing. You know what mixed messages tell me? To not take you seriously. Ever. You are solely for my entertainment and amusement. Mixed messages tells me you’re afraid and unsure, and I’m not investing anything in that BS. And I have a good bullshit meter
that I use for your bullshit, not mine.
Being all half-assed and sneaky about what you want isn’t going to help you. If you officially want me, then I need to know that you officially want me. I hate when a guy asks me to ‘hang out’ casually and then I later find out this is a fucking date where you get to try to grope me or stick your tongue in my mouth or try to take up my Saturday nights for all infinity. No bitch. You don’t get off that easy.
I’ve created some rules for friendships with the opposite sex, so that we’re both clear on the reality that this is just casual.
And ladies, if men are doing the prohibited things on this list, just know that you are in mixed messages land. For your sake, if you’re into the guy, I hope it’s just a case of him being shy and not just waiting for an opportunity to boredom bang you.
RULES FOR GUYS FRIENDS
AND FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS:
1-No phone calls before 10 am, or after 10 pm. I can call you if I want to. But I don’t need you bugging me when I am getting my beauty sleep
or am with someone else. No texting either unless its an emergency. Being horny is not an emergency. Also, you cannot contact me everyday. 2 to 3 times per week MAX. Otherwise you dudes start falling in love, and telling me all your secrets and fears. I don’t have time for all that. But you know who would? A real fucking girlfriend.
2-We cannot spend more than 2 days in a row with each other. Unless we are traveling somewhere and you are funding it.
3-No physical affection. This means no touching below the waist. You may get a greeting hug or goodbye hug. No holding hands, linking arms is okay, especially if I’m drunk. Do not touch my face or hair. I don’t care if there’s a tarantula eating my face, HANDS OFF!
4-No double dates. Group outings are okay.
5-I do not want to have dinner with your (insert family member or important person in your life).
6-Paying for our outings are okay, as long as you
obey are aware of the rules.
7-Don’t worry about
knowing memorizing the rules. I will gladly remind you.
8-(For FWB only) I choose what we do in the bedroom. You can ask all you want. I will say no all I want. There are no negotiations. You don’t have a leg to stand on, this is casual and not serious which means your desires are not taken seriously. You know who might take those desires more seriously? A real fucking girlfriend.