Pretty Power and it’s Limits

This post was inspired by some of the comments made in my previous post. I have to add, that you guys really just proved my point with the various reactions to that post. Well done me!.

There’s the insecure guy who had to lash out, the other who whined, the woman who wasn’t phased, and the guys with a decent head on their shoulders that skipped over my bragging and commented on points they found interesting.

Just want to clarify.

I actually don’t get a lot of my own power from my looks. I learned a long time ago that power from your looks is as fickle and superficial as being pretty is. And it has limits. Sure, you get lots of compliments, free stuff sometimes, and you don’t really have to worry about finding a date. But can you rule the world or read minds or become immortal? No. Let me share a story with you.

I had a guy friend who was dating this very hot 25 year old. He was about a decade older. They had great sex and not much else in common. He did not care. Oh and she was engaged to someone else, who worked out of town. So she wrapped my guy friend around her finger, playing hot and cold with his feelings. I told him to not get too attached. I knew what this girl was doing all too well because I’ve done it. This was about her feeling like a hot shot, which she was. He didn’t want to hear it. Things got weird when her fiancee came back into town. He stayed away and missed her but she brought her fiancee to all the places my guy friend took her and- surprise!- they ran into each other. She told the fiancee about them before the run-in too, so there was a public confrontation, which lucky for him, did not include violence.

I knew this girl was higher than a mofo on power. She had BOTH men drooling over her. But in my book, she was taking it to a whole other level and playing with fire. I warned him.

Change the ‘girl’ to ‘boy’

The fiancee left and my friend resumed their affair. But then she started flirting with my guy friends’ friends. Short version: one of his friends ended up challenging him to a street fight (she was regularly talking to this other dude on the phone and told him that my friend hit her). He lost that friend over her. Again, I’m sure she felt potent and strong.

I told my friend, he had round one of getting his ass almost kicked by her fiancee and now, round two has one of his friends challenging him to a Bruce Lee match in an alley somewhere and threatening him and his car!

What did he think was gonna happen in round 3? Was it really worth all that?

He dumped her that day and never looked back. She still tries to get attention from him and get him to go out with her. That was a year ago. Her power of being pretty is lost. And in reality it wasn’t that strong or real. It was just sex. He could never trust her, and he didn’t even like hanging out with her that much when her clothes were on.

Pretty power is basically having many people want to sleep with you and lots of attention from strangers. That’s about it. You can leverage that as much as you want but still, it’s limited. It doesn’t make them automatically love you, accept you, change their lifestyle, not cheat on you, change who they are, want to get in fights for you, risk their life, or hand over their paychecks. It doesn’t automatically make you happy, smart, strong, funny, or even interesting. Like beauty itself, the power that comes with it is only skin deep. Be careful ladies.

It’s also pretty fickle. I mean if you gain 5 pounds or get a few new pimples, whatever power trip you have for being attractive goes right out the window. If someone doesn’t approve of your looks, you crumble into a pit of despair and unworthiness.  Your whole esteem is based on this external thing that you have little control over. Oh, hell naw! I learned not to rely on that.

A model just gave a Ted Talk on being attractive and how it’s not what it’s cracked up to be. She admitted that most models are insecure.

Why? Because their whole job and self worth is based on something they have little control over, which is why drugs and eating disorders are so rampant that industry. Their self esteem is based on creating an illusion and they are desperate to hold onto it.

I’m not gonna lie, after a big meal, I’m not feeling so good or hot. But then my hate for feeling bad or bored jumps in and I want to have fun and forget about it. And nine and a half times out of ten, I usually do. Winning!

Next week I will be posting a book review of “THE MEN ON MY COUCH” , which blew my fucking mind.