Pretty Power and it’s Limits

Published October 26, 2013 by bossymoksie

This post was inspired by some of the comments made in my previous post. I have to add, that you guys really just proved my point with the various reactions to that post. Well done me!.

There’s the insecure guy who had to lash out, the other who whined, the woman who wasn’t phased, and the guys with a decent head on their shoulders that skipped over my bragging and commented on points they found interesting.

Just want to clarify.

I actually don’t get a lot of my own power from my looks. I learned a long time ago that power from your looks is as fickle and superficial as being pretty is. And it has limits. Sure, you get lots of compliments, free stuff sometimes, and you don’t really have to worry about finding a date. But can you rule the world or read minds or become immortal? No. Let me share a story with you.

I had a guy friend who was dating this very hot 25 year old. He was about a decade older. They had great sex and not much else in common. He did not care. Oh and she was engaged to someone else, who worked out of town. So she wrapped my guy friend around her finger, playing hot and cold with his feelings. I told him to not get too attached. I knew what this girl was doing all too well because I’ve done it. This was about her feeling like a hot shot, which she was. He didn’t want to hear it. Things got weird when her fiancee came back into town. He stayed away and missed her but she brought her fiancee to all the places my guy friend took her and- surprise!- they ran into each other. She told the fiancee about them before the run-in too, so there was a public confrontation, which lucky for him, did not include violence.

I knew this girl was higher than a mofo on power. She had BOTH men drooling over her. But in my book, she was taking it to a whole other level and playing with fire. I warned him.

you in danger girl

Change the ‘girl’ to ‘boy’

The fiancee left and my friend resumed their affair. But then she started flirting with my guy friends’ friends. Short version: one of his friends ended up challenging him to a street fight (she was regularly talking to this other dude on the phone and told him that my friend hit her). He lost that friend over her. Again, I’m sure she felt potent and strong.

I told my friend, he had round one of getting his ass almost kicked by her fiancee and now, round two has one of his friends challenging him to a Bruce Lee match in an alley somewhere and threatening him and his car!

What did he think was gonna happen in round 3? Was it really worth all that?

He dumped her that day and never looked back. She still tries to get attention from him and get him to go out with her. That was a year ago. Her power of being pretty is lost. And in reality it wasn’t that strong or real. It was just sex. He could never trust her, and he didn’t even like hanging out with her that much when her clothes were on.

Pretty power is basically having many people want to sleep with you and lots of attention from strangers. That’s about it. You can leverage that as much as you want but still, it’s limited. It doesn’t make them automatically love you, accept you, change their lifestyle, not cheat on you, change who they are, want to get in fights for you, risk their life, or hand over their paychecks. It doesn’t automatically make you happy, smart, strong, funny, or even interesting. Like beauty itself, the power that comes with it is only skin deep. Be careful ladies.

It’s also pretty fickle. I mean if you gain 5 pounds or get a few new pimples, whatever power trip you have for being attractive goes right out the window. If someone doesn’t approve of your looks, you crumble into a pit of despair and unworthiness.  Your whole esteem is based on this external thing that you have little control over. Oh, hell naw! I learned not to rely on that.

A model just gave a Ted Talk on being attractive and how it’s not what it’s cracked up to be. She admitted that most models are insecure.

Why? Because their whole job and self worth is based on something they have little control over, which is why drugs and eating disorders are so rampant that industry. Their self esteem is based on creating an illusion and they are desperate to hold onto it.

I’m not gonna lie, after a big meal, I’m not feeling so good or hot. But then my hate for feeling bad or bored jumps in and I want to have fun and forget about it. And nine and a half times out of ten, I usually do. Winning!

Next week I will be posting a book review of “THE MEN ON MY COUCH” , which blew my fucking mind.


19 comments on “Pretty Power and it’s Limits

  • Yeah we tend to think that beautiful women are these all-powerful beings with confidence of steel. But beautiful women are like all the others–they are often insecure about themselves, sometimes even more so because they have that awareness in the back of their mind that you mentioned. So much of what they have is due to their looks. Did she get her job because of her qualifications or because of her looks? And if it was her looks, just how talented is she really? And so on…

    • That was the point I was trying to make in my last post. Guys put too much on pretty girls, when in reality, she’s just another girl that you happen to be attracted to. And yeah, if you rely on being pretty too much for your self esteem, which can be easy to do because everyone gives you more positive attention (mostly on a superficial level) it can become a crutch, but it’s not a strong one. You don’t really develop or explore what else about you that might be interesting or of some value.

  • I have nothing to argue with here, you’re right. Most of us grow out of the “must have the hot girl/guy at all costs” before we grow out of our teenage years, some never do and end up either never learning or learning the hard way when they get dumped on (like your friend above).

    • Ha ha. I think he’s still in that phase, just staying away from the the crazy ones for now, lol. But I think you make a good point that he should be looking at other things, which I have told him but he’s fighting it for now.

  • It is an interesting subject…

    Probably almost anyone will compromise on some looks vs personality, it is very common on pua forums to hear guys saying that they would rather chose 7.5 with amazing personality over 9-10 who just got her looks and nothing more.

    But I think if somebody won genetic lottery they should take a full advantage of it, because people will do what they do, ultimately however it is our decision to screen them in or out of our life.

  • First thing here is that your guy friend is a power simp. He was willing to risk his life for sex. That’s not a good look. I hope he’s been soaking up some game since that.

    Looks aren’t everything but they’re very important. You can look at it a few different ways. You can take the 10 with zero personality and upgrade her lifestyle, mind and that will get her a personality. You can take the cool 7 and upgrade her looks/lifestyle and she will get pretty close to dime status. Personally, give me the 10 in the looks department. I can upgrade the rest of her.

    • I think he thought he ‘deserved’ the first confrontation since he was helping the girl cheat. That’s why he didn’t think too much of it. But the second time, he was on the fence like what should he do (and he had one foot out the door) and I told him he needs hop off that fence and walk away. He only wanted to date her after that to treat her badly for a bit then dump her.
      You can upgrade any ’10’ huh? Damn Reema, I didn’t know you had it like that! The ’10’ whisperer. With game like that, you truly do have the most choices.

      • Yes I can because I know what I bring to the table and I know that I can change her life for the better. That’s why I’m hard on guys about upgrading themselves and being the best man they can be.

      • LOL SillyG! When I read that, that’s exactly what I was thinking. How can you upgrade someone who isn’t bright and get them to be brighter? I get upgrading values and lifestyle, but damn, I’d really like to know how to make a dull person more interesting/smart!

      • Upgrading values and lifestyle would go hand and hand. Women usually take on the same ideologies and characteristics of her man. Let’s say you meet a guy and you guys start traveling and experiencing different parts of the world. You would soak all that up and become more interesting/smart. Let’s say you weren’t into art but you met someone that introduced you to different sides of it and you started to like it. Women can do the same thing.

      • Again, I get the lifestyle and values thing, that can grow. And maybe there are several 10’s out there that never fully developed their intelligence potential and will once they are exposed to more things. But some people just aren’t smart. The capacity someone has for intelligence is inborn, that’s what I mean.

      • I know what you mean. I 100% agree that some people aren’t smart. I also know that women are looking for men to man up and lead them. That’s the upgrading part. I met my girl when she was 22 so it is a little different. If you’re 45 and dating a 30 year old it’s going to be different. If she’s dumb at 30 it’s a lost cause.

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