Public Service Announcement: Ladies, Stop Obsessing!

Published October 12, 2013 by bossymoksie

Okay, so you met a guy. And he was AMAZING. He was hot, he was interesting, he was exciting he was unavailable. You can’t figure him out. But you want to, you have to. And you want him to figure you out. And want you.

What do you do?


You obsess. You think about this dude all day and all night. You can’t get him out of your head. And you talk about him. And talk about him, and talk about him some more.  To anyone who will listen.

It’s one thing to vent your feelings, or share with your friends your current state of mind. It’s quite another thing to turn a girls night out into a 4 hour hand holding fest of you talking about the drama and hog all the attention  while smothering every last hope of fun the night was intended to be.

The thing that pisses me off the most, is that it’s always over a guy who’s a douche, or barely knows you’re alive. ALWAYS. Girls never go on and on and on about the handsome knight in shining armor who reads their minds and handles all their needs, or their good guy friends. No. Not that I want to hear that shit all day long either. 

Do you know how much more fun you’d be having if your ass just shut up, had a drink and danced a little?  Or relaxed and took in the scenery of our favorite outdoor brunch spot? Maybe even flirt or make out with another guy. No, lets just ruin everyone’s night, AGAIN, because of a dude that cares two shits about you. Yeah. That makes more sense.

You have every right to be angry, upset, feel bad, etc. because you feel used, abandoned, whatever. But it does not justify you torturing your friends yourself by reliving it for all eternity. Just because you are obsessed, doesn’t mean we are!

We have to listen for the 15th thousandth time about how this douche dream guy who stood you up or didn’t notice you, despite all that you do to get his attention. It’s just not fair. Do you know how many Saturday nights, or afternoon lunches have been destroyed by your obsession by a dude hasn’t even given YOU two thoughts?

I have a theory. The reason why these girls talk so much about the object of their affections is because if they can’t have their undying love or their attention, then they will settle for feeling the angst of not having them and talking about them incessantly. That way, they still feel ‘connected’ somehow to the guy, even if it’s just pain and angst. He is a big part in her life simply because she keeps bringing him up. She focuses attention on him EVEN WHEN HE’S NOT AROUND OR NOT A REAL PART OF HER LIFE.  I am just a warm body you are using to express this obsession and a replacement for the attention you really want. If I wanted to be a warm body to be used I could just go out and have a one night stand, and it would be a lot more fun.

Does this obsessing ever get you the solution that you are desperately hoping to get? NO. (That is, unless you like being masochist.)

Tumbling down your own pit of despair isn’t going to change the situation, or this guy’s actions and attitude towards you. It’s up to YOU to make yourself feel better, not him. And you can start by knowing you deserve better than feeling like shit all the time, and changing YOUR attitude and actions towards him.

And let me tell you, friends are always more than happy to help you with this.

So for your sake and mine, please cease and desist.


11 comments on “Public Service Announcement: Ladies, Stop Obsessing!

  • Watch out. You might have the death threats start to roll in pretty soon ;).

    And why is that? Why is it women are never rambling on for 4 hours about the good guy? Why is it we good men don’t get that attention?

    • lol, I doubt it. Most women are on both the giving and receiving end of this (even I have done this a few times! I’ve just learned it’s pointless). They will probably just stew in silence.
      Re Good Men: I think maybe because the ladies are getting the attention and connection they need from the good guy, so they don’t have to express it all the time, even if they are thinking about him all the time. I think with the bad boys it’s about frustration and angst and trying to keep him in your life, even though he’s not really there. And they are really trying to figure out how to turn it into something real.

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