Its a code red. I know you serious gold digging bitches already knew about this weeks ago because your query search on your Google Alert has hand delivered this news to you. But for the amateurs:
Rupert Murdoch, 82, is in the midst of getting divorced to his wife Wendi Deng, 44. The two lovebirds who had a mutual respect for sex and money and all the bullshit in between, is ending their happily ever after. She is ready for some young dick and to move on with a piece of his money.
In case you don’t know, he is worth billions and owns News Corp. His previous wife walked away with a billion.
Of course a prenup is in place, and the current soon-to-be-ex may not be walking away with as much. This divorce is particularly juicier (to the news anyway) because it’s rumored she is already sleeping with someone who can actually keep it up longer than two minutes, Former Prime Minister Tony Blair. They think Rupert is already being vicious which is adding fuel to this rumor. But Rupert, why so mad? You are nearly a hundred, you had to have known the score when she married you. I mean you should know by NOW the facts of life and the way it works when a young pretty girl is interested in fucking an old, rich ass!!!! LOL, must be nice to still be surprised at such a late age.
The only reason why that scandalicious part of the news is important though is to keep in mind that if you married a man for money, don’t fuck up your billion dollar prenup agreement by fucking around. Take note ladies!
It’s your turn now!
So get prepared on the art of feeding someone baby food, creative ways to get a penis up and hard, and trying to not look like a nurse when you’re holding hands while walking.
Step up and collect your billion!
NOTE: A billion dollars is too ambitious for me. What does one do with a billion dollars? There’s only so many interesting shoes and dresses out there!
Although having a pool filled with hundred dollar bills to swim in would be nice…