When Nice Guys Complain

Published March 12, 2013 by bossymoksie

I know it seems I have fallen off the face of the blogging earth. Just know my ass has been lazy busy. I’m back so you all can breath and jump for joy now.

Before we get to the good stuff, let me differentiate between my own definition of the nice guy (versus a good guy).

Good guys are just naturally good guys who do good things for people (whether these people are hot chicks or not) because that’s just who they are.

good guy greg

Good Guy Greg

My own personal definition of a nice guy: It’s guys who act nice (as a doormat or needy) in order to ‘win’ the girl of their dreams of the moment. And then they get all butt hurt and bitter when the girl didn’t fall madly in love with him because of all the butt kissing he did, and blames all women for being superficial dumbasses who will only date jerks instead of recognizing their own innate greatness and falling at their feet. Instead of maybe admitting that they lacked confidence or realistic expectations, or compatibility because they just really wanted to fuck that girl.

This isn’t strictly for guys. I know plenty of “nice” girls with their own self-esteem issues and unrealistic expectations who have their ‘ men are superficial pigs rants’ which can be fun sometimes, other times not. It can go both ways.

Just because you were nice to a hot girl, doesn’t make you entitled to fucking her. Sorry (not really). It’s just not how it works. Being nice doesn’t equal being a great catch, and more importantly, compatibility with that girl.

It’s just annoying to hear guys blame being nice for the reason why always the hot girls turn them down, when it’s really not the issue.

To explain it in her own special, magical way, here’s my girl Jenna Marbles. Watch and learn.

Look in the mirror guys and size yourself up. Take action. Take responsibility. And you will have your day of no complaints.

You’re welcome.

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30 comments on “When Nice Guys Complain

  • Honest and funny post! Kinda funny, just last month I wrote a post talking about how nice guys DO finish last. “Nice” guys need to realize there was a reason for what happens most likely stemming back to themselves.

  • Certainly some women do go for bad boys and many are proud of stating that they would choose a bad boy over a (genuine) good guy any day. They are (thankfully) very few. I’ve only ever met one girl who ever said that and she was an idiot and kept making the same mistakes with men over and over again – her problem.

    Also, about the video… women might not say “nice girls only finish last” but I do hear women complain that men only want skinny, busty blonde sluts… that I have heard over and over again as though we are incapable of liking a girl for the same reasons of compatability. (this in their mind has nothing to do with it of course, he’s only with her because she has big tits)

    • I know I’ve heard my fair share of female gripes! I did mention that briefly in my post, even though Jenna apparently doesn’t have girlfriends who bitch about superficial guys.
      And you make another good point; you’re better off leaving the girls who want the jerky bad boys alone.

  • The fake nice guy…. It is so easy to see through the act and I cant help but laugh when they go all passive aggressive when turned down and I know I judged them right!

  • Usually I don’t think women like jerks but I know someone whose boyfriend has two kids with her and now three kids with other women. All while they were together. Yet she still seems shocked when it happens again.

    • Women who date/like jerks have issues. That’s all it is. There is something she doesn’t want to acknowledge or deal with about herself so she is stuck in that rut. She’s ‘shocked’ because she is lying to herself about who this guy is; it’s a crutch for her.

  • You got yerself a problem there. The guys who will watch you to the door, THEY believe that being nice is the problem. THEIR solution is not to be nice anymore. No more nice guys for you, creepy or not.

    Your entire input to this decision process is that you blew off the nice ( creepy ) guy. That’s it. That’s all you get to say on the matter. The nice ( creepy ) guy didn’t get to hear your nuanced explanation – first, because you don’t tell him and second, because actions really are louder than words for that guy – and then he becomes an asshole who doesn’t listen to women at all.

    I’m sure you’re saying “well, he’s just wrong!” Sorry, that isn’t going to help you. You are going to generate an asshole for some other woman, as she is schooling one of her former nice guys to be an asshole for you.

    I sure hope you can be satisfied with faithless assholes for the rest of your life. There’s an up side though. Your moms and grandmothers only got one big wedding day. You’ll get 3 or 4.

    • That’s my point (and Jenna’s). The ‘Nice’ guys are interpreting the situation wrong and reacting accordingly. They are being rejected for other reasons but the guys are just chalking it up to being too nice instead of facing certain realities about what’s really going on. That’s a defense mechanism.

      The rejection had little to nothing to do with the guys niceness, it was other qualities that she wasn’t attracted to and the niceness isn’t going to compensate for that. Of course women like to be treated well! And you’re right, most girls aren’t gonna tell that guy why they are rejecting them, because they don’t want to hurt his feelings (to his face). So they just make up an excuse and try to disappear. But let me be clear, WE are not turning them into jerks. They CHOOSE that to be their solution, because they want the problem to be about niceness and not whatever other inadequacy that they may have, or not to face that the girls their ego wants isn’t really compatible with who they really are.

      Jerks only seem attarctive (at first) because they seem confidant and are not outcome dependent. But a quality girl will walk away once she realizes he’s a jerk.
      The only girls who want jerks are girls who have issues and a decent guy shouldn’t mess with those girls anyway. She is doing you a favor by rejecting you. Hot or not.

      And what makes you think that I only want one wedding? Assume much!

      • Read it again. No one is listening any more. The only thing that matters is what happens, not what is said.

        To quote:
        “I’m sure you’re saying “well, he’s just wrong!” Sorry, that isn’t going to help you. You are going to generate an asshole for some other woman, as she is schooling one of her former nice guys to be an asshole for you.”

        This isn’t about you defending other women or yourself. You’re being INFORMED.

        Do as you please about it, or do nothing.

      • I didn’t much like what you had to say about Valentine’s day, but I appreciated the honesty.

        I’m returning the favor. You don’t make it easy to tell you the truth, which is why you don’t hear much of it, the first half you argue with and then the rest goes unsaid.

      • Being Christian and therefore compassionate and generous, there is one further thing I am compelled to say:

        Regarding your last paragraph: “And what makes you think that I only want one wedding? Assume much!”

        You should either edit this out, or delete this exchange, or maybe the entire post and thread, rather than leave this revelation exposed.

        Or, you could get your tubes tied.

        Just sayin’.

      • I understood what you were saying, I just don’t agree. I don’t really care if you agree with me.
        How am I not making it easy for you to tell your truth? Because I didn’t just accept it and agree? I didn’t delete your comment and you’re free to comment away here. I appreciate other points of view. Especially when intelligently written. I don’t appreciate being insulted with judgements about my future by christian, compassionate, generous people, or any people just because we see things differently.

      • Because Moksie, you’re proposing to argue about whether 2+2=4.

        I am *reporting* to you what is going on. Of course you may say “those guys are just wrong” and I may even agree with you, but it won’t change what is happening at all. Being right won’t do you any good. Those guys being wrong won’t stop the process,

        You are being *informed*. I am not here to argue, I am here to *testify*.

        You don’t want a report. You don’t want testimony. You don’t want to be informed. You want to argue, I suppose because you believe that winning the argument will change the world, or perhaps because it is me making the world that way, and if you can defeat me then *I’ll* change it.

        I didn’t argue with you about your testimony about what girls wanted on Valentine’s and why they want those things. You made your report, offered your testimony, and I was thus *informed*. Thank you. I didn’t like the report, but I’m glad to have an answer that meshes with my observations, and is even useful to produce reliable future results.

        Oh Gawd. Is there some way to say this so Moksie might get it? My experience with other women says ‘no’. Once they believe in the magic of arguing, the most I can do is make it all *my* fault for having said something not pretty.

        Regarding the ‘joke’ of multiple weddings, it’s not my sense of humor that is in question, but rather any man that might wonder for a split second if you’re a good bet for a wife. For the sake of your future marriage, I’d rather that you didn’t wager, ‘K?

      • Wow. Five more paragraphs without saying a single new thing. I know I’m direct, terse and many things I say need further exposition, but … damn!

        After this, I give up. Print it out and take it to a college professor. Maybe she can explain it to you.

      • Whoa man. Calm it down. It’s okay.
        Your first testimony was put in a confrontational manner, especially with your last comment. It’s cool. And thank you for your thoughts/testimony as well.
        And I wouldn’t worry about me scaring the men away. I have not yet found an effective tactic that keeps dudes away on the marriage front. It doesn’t really matter what I say or do, trust me. At any rate, that’s my cross to bear, not yours, but thanks for the concern?

      • Moksie, I am glad that you hear me now. Perhaps you will take the time to re-read what I have written. I offer this quote, which you should find familiar, as guidance:

        “Every word should tell” – William Strunk

        There are no unconsidered nouns or adjectives or verbs in my writing. When I write “I sure hope” … that’s not a trite bit of fluffy parenthetic prose.

        This is the half you argued with, the rest will go unsaid.

        I sure hope you have good luck in all you attempt.

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