A Girl’s Take on Negging

Published January 12, 2013 by bossymoksie

As requested by SocialKenny and egointhesea, I am writing about negging from my POV.

Okay, didn’t mean to start the new year with all this negging, but hey, shit happens.

Let’s start with the definition, again, that I gleaned from the extensive research I did. ( Which was reading this article, and Social Kenny’s PUA Acronyms post and…that’s all).

Negging is a sly remark made to a woman to lower her social value in the dating scene, and raise yours. At least in her eyes so you will seem more attractive. It can range from teasing to back-handed insults, depending on who’s using it and how they use it.

It may come as no surpise from the PUA community that women HATE this strategy. The idea of it anyway.

Because we (as in me and the PUA community) know there’s something to it, and that it’s worked for some guys (I’ve seen it in action) and that’s why it is a staple. Nevermind that.

The idea that one group of people would find a way to ‘put down’ another to make them see themselves as less so that you can get something from them is offensive. That’s how women see this tactic. Just like when one race does it to another, or rich people do it to poor people, or straight hair bitches do it to curly haired bitches. But it happens and it works on certain people.

And that’s why women hate this theory.

Personally, if it’s an insult, like here and here, it is a turnoff and I take it as a sign of insecurity. Who has time for that except for a good laugh? I can take teasing and give some of it back. Again, I don’t like the idea of this strategy, but I understand it’s function.

Let’s do some real talk for a minute.

I am fucking awesome. I know this. And I know you know this. That’s why you are in my face, trying to hold my attention. So when a guy tries to point out something he sees as ‘wrong’ or ‘not valuable’, I know he is just being creative. It’s like trying to tell me the sky isn’t blue. I know better. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t want like something you see.

If taken too far, I know you are lying because you are insecure in the light of my awesomeness. And if this is how you deal with just talking to me, how are you gonna deal down the road, when we’re both more attached to each other, and something you don’t like inevitably happens? Are you gonna throw me under the bus? Hell naw to that! If anyone’s throwing anyone under the bus it’s me throwing you.

The bottom line for me  and the rest of the human race is that I want to feel good and have a good time. Why be this gorgeous and amazing if I don’t get to feel that way?! If I’m not feeling that way because of YOU, then guess who gets taken out of the equation?

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11 comments on “A Girl’s Take on Negging

  • I guess you are more against the concept than the actual application? I think we all are (including the PUA’s), and many probably wish things were different.

    But if we know it works, we would be fools not to use it ^_^

    • Exactly. In that article I looked at, the writer had to make an addendum to answer to all the ladies (and some guys) that trashed that he was trying to help guys with negging. I don’t think most people like the concept of it.

  • Really dislike it in concept – preys on insecurities to build power over others.
    I’m with you. Can handle a couple jokes but I awesome to spend any time on misogynistic men… they don’t even get a chance 🙂

      • I guess I see it as it is a way to get in there with some women and can totally see it work on women all the time. (thinking it works on those that are insecure to start off with…)

  • Negging 100% works. A lot of guys just take things too far. When I interact with women, I’m teasing them all the time. I just know what I’m doing so it works. If a woman says, “was that a neg?” you know you’ve already gone too far.

    • I would agree. When a woman starts to think, ‘is he trying to insult me or bring me down?’, that is not a good sign to her and makes the guy less attractive to her. Even if she has low-self esteem and wants your approval, you are just creating anxiety and a negative experience. Most women like or don’t mind teasing as long as it comes off as playful and shows that the guy is interested in her.

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