When “Negging” Goes Wrong

Published January 4, 2013 by bossymoksie

So, I wasn’t messing around with you bitches around Christmas,because  I went to Los Angeles to catch up and enjoy my favorite clubs and bars peeps.

And I have a story to share. Some of you know that I am not a fan of negging, but I can see how it could work. Negging is when you insult a hot chick or give a backhanded compliment in order to stand out from the drooling, ass kissing sea of men she usually encounters. If the girl is insecure, she will be do almost anything to get a compliment or approval out of you, like a starving puppy. She will be dying for you to see her in a good light, like most men do without her having to do anything but show up and smile.

However, if a girl is not insecure…

party people

It was our second club and we wanted to dance. ‘We’ being me and my just as hot and bitchy, supermodel tall friend. We were already buzzed and ready to dance. But the music was playing some oldies bullshit.

Disappointed and stressed about our state of affairs. we moved to the balcony to regroup. Should we just go somewhere else? Just then some dude walks up and and asks to buy my hot friend a drink. After a moment of us just staring, he also offered to buy me a drink too. We happily accepted and went with the bar with him. I was already thinking ‘how we were gonna ditch the guy?’. He seemed old and crumudgeonly and not fun at all. And he was not cute. One side eye look from my friend told me she was thinking the same.

At the bar, he ordered himself a water.

“You’re not drinking?” I asked.

“I’ve had enough,” he said, or something like that because he was stupid drunk and it was hard for him to form a sentence. Losing him was gonna be easier than I thought.

After our drinks were in our hands, we noticed the music had changed to something danceable. Tactic One- Get-rid-of-the-guy was on. We moved to the dance floor.

It’s easy to lose people on the dancefloor. You can dance away from people. Someone cuter always asked you to dance with them instead. You can get ‘lost’ in the crowd. This was the plan. But some big dance circle was going on. Acrobatics and floor moves were happening, threatening our new shiny, free drinks. We went back to the balcony, where we would have to try Tactic Two- Get-rid-of-the-guy, ie conversate with said guy until he says something that ‘disqualifies him’, doesn’t have to be real or true, but we will act like it so we can leave.

Dear Men of the World: This is a good reason to have good conversation skills. We were NOT interested in this guy at all, but if he had good conversation skills we would have probably hung out with him instead of making plans to ditch him. And then, who knows? You still might not score but at least he got to hang out with two hot, mentally stimulating bitches, right?

Since this guy couldn’t put a sentence together, finding an excuse to leave would be easy. It was back at the balcony that Drunk Guy introduced us to his rommate, Neg Guy. Neg Guy was chatting up a cute girl already. He completely forgot about her as soon as he saw us, and started macking on my hot friend, who Drunk Guy introduced first. Drunk Guy was trying- and failing- to get in there. He was standing between my friend and I so I took that opportunity to look busy by talking to Cute Girl, before he could turn back to me.

“Wow. That guy totally dissed you for my friend. What a douche.”

“I know! He told me I was worthless!” she exclaimed.

She then told me how he had some fancy, secret job he couldn’t tell her about and that she, and her job, were worthless to him. Drunk Guy was in between me and my hot friend and had no one to talk to. So he just started staring into his water. My hot friend was cornered by Neg Guy but I knew she could handle herself. I was also glad it was her and not me. Cute Girl and I had moved onto more important subjects: fashion and hair. By then, Drunk Guy needed to sit and stumbled his way to a chair somewhere on the balcony. Since he wasn’t blocking the Cute Girl and I anymore from Neg Guy, my hot friend introduced me to Neg Guy. He suddenly remembered that the Cute Girl was there and tried to talk to all three of us.

“What were you two ladies talking about?”

“Her purse is so totally cute,” Cute Girl said, referring to my purse.

“You’ve got style. I like the outfit. I’ll give you kudos for that. But that purse is ridiculous. Clowns would have that purse!” He joked.


“It’s really cute,” Cute Girl defended.

“It’s horrible, did you go to clown school to get that purse?”

“Don’t hate because you can’t carry purses,” I joked.

“I would not want to carry that thing. Really, were you a clown in a past life?”

“You are fuckin up this whole vibe here.”  I said, annoyed and about to go off an a drunk mofo and his negging bullshit.

My hot friend side stepped him, closing him out of the circle.

“I love this purse, where did you get it again?”

And just like that we had ditched him. He left the balcony and Cute Girl had to tell my friend how he told her she was worthless. My friend went into a comedic speal about Neg Guy’s big nose that was really funny, with Cute girl chiming in “He told me I was worthless!” periodically. (It seemed to really bother her). Then we went back to talking about boys and clothes.

I spotted Neg Guy coming back onto the balcony, but this time, standing against the wall close to the entrance.

“Oh look, it’s your friend.” I said, since I was facing him. Cute Girl was at profile to him and subtly looked over then rolled her eyes.

“Surpise, surprise, he’s all by himself,” she observed.

My hot friend, whose back was to him, turned fully around and pointedly stared him down. He noticed. Then she turned back around to face us and we all laughed. Loudly. The guy fled from the balcony.

Another guy came up to us and said ” That wasn’t obvious at all,” sarcastically. We all laughed again.

Anyways, be careful with the negging guys! Don’t become the joke of the night!


31 comments on “When “Negging” Goes Wrong

  • Negging seems to be a real art. The more confident the girl = the more subtle the neg. Would you say he would have had much more success if he didn’t seem enthused by the purse (giving it an ‘it’s all right, but i’ve seen better’ look), without completely destroying it? (also, to any PUA that might read this, or bossy if you can answer: is negging a successful tactic when talking to more than one or two girls at once? It looks like it would be difficult to pull off.)

    • He did go overboard. Even a subtle neg would have annoyed me. (And I will tell you why in future post!)
      As far as negging multiple girls at the same time, I think it would be tricky because you have 3 different personalities and level’s of self esteem to contend with. Also, if one girl openly does not approve, the rest will follow! Especially if she is the queen bee of the group!
      I think a guy would have more ‘success’ or not seem like such a jerk if he had only negged one of the girls while talking to all three. Then we would just assume he didn’t care for that one girl and is a selective guy. (even then, you risk the others following one girl’s disapproval) But since he already negged the other two while talking to them separately, and then me in front of them, we were ready to gang up on him! And not in a good way!!!!!!

      • Definitely looking forward to that post. I guess he wasn’t expecting talking to all three of you at once (no need to compete with another guy, no matter how drunk, if you already got one chick to game), and it really backfired. Oh well, if he didn’t learn anything from the experience, at least I did ^_^

  • Lol neg city!

    Ok, I find this article as one to ditch the drink-buyer. Good advice for chics. Had drunk guy have better convo’ skills, he would’ve at least gotten to hang out with you. So he wasted cash for nada.

  • @Bossy- Irony is, only men talk and write about negging. It’s rare that women give their thoughts on negging. So it’d be refreshing to hear your take as probably the few chics to talk about negs.

    We all know the male’s view on negging (from a PUA’s point).

  • Hilarious. Yeah, I’ve noticed negging. It worked when I was an insecure 16 year old. Some guy actually addressed me as “Oh you’re that bitchy girl, right?” I’m bitchy, but he doesn’t know me/that yet. I said “Yes” and that was the end of that. Ha.

  • The problem with negging is some guys just take it way too far. You need to have the correct vibe and confidence to playfully tease. If I’m talking to a group of women, I won’t compliment. I save that for one on one. Also when you are dealing with a group of women you want to just keep everything light and fun. You don’t want to really get serious until you have her alone.

  • That whole concept of “negging” just pisses me off. Since when is being a “douche” a pickup tactic? Make me laugh, then we’re on. Incidentally, I stopped taking free drinks from guys because it was always so hard to lose them. I had a job, I paid for my own drinks.

    But good show with putting him in his place, what a jerk.

  • Seems like guy made everything he could wrong.

    * Got very drunk (probably to get some courage)
    * Did not make any target selection and approached group with bad logistics instead simply looking for girl who is DTF (down to f#^%), which is probably biggest point to be successful in clubs, target selection
    * Tried to buy his way into group by buying drinks
    * Decided to show off and try to raise his value and show off by putting down girl

    Honestly do not think it even was negging, sounds like some drunk fool who tries to show off.

    P.S: I think negs work on high self esteem girls better rather than low self esteem.

    • You are talking about two different guys (did you mean to rate both of them?)
      The drunk one tried to buy his way in and then ended up going away. He brought us to the Neg guy, who was working on one girl. The Neg guy hadn’t planned on the addition to his one-on one! He was probably just overwhlemed. But from what Cute girl was telling me (there was more she told me I just didn’t include it all in the post) he was definitely trying to raise his ‘social value’ with her when he was alone with her.
      I heard (well, read) that negs work on high self esteem girls somewhere else. I guess girls with higher esteem can take it better?

      • You right, I messed it up, just reread it again and sure enough it is two different guys lol

        Most likely because high self esteem people draw their validation from their lives and achievement, they have no need in validation from other people and do not go out of their way to seek for it.

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