Where I answer your questions about love, dating and hairy situations (questions in bold):
I don’t know what to get my girlfriend for Christmas. She can be really picky and already has everything. She complains how everyone buys her lotions every year so I can’t do that. I want to get her something special. I was going to get her jewelry but there’s gold and white gold and silver. I don’t know which one she likes and I can’t read minds. I didn’t know there were that many choices. Help?
I know this may require a some effort but bear with me. Pay attention to her for 24 hours.
What does she mostly talk about? How is her room decorated? Is there a bunch of gold jewlery in her jewelry box? Or silver? What’s her favorite TV show? These are all clues she leaves you about her interests and personality. After you have covertly discerned what makes her tick. get her something that is in line with that. Whether it’s glittery accessories for her cell phone, the latest “Hunger Games” book, or the diamond stud earrings she stared at for 2 hours while you waited, bored, wondering what you were gonna eat for lunch.
Easy. See? You don’t have to read minds.
Or you could ask her directly.
It’s not as romantic but it’ll do.
What should I get my man as a gift for Christmas? We’ve only been dating for 3 weeks.
A blowjob. You can make it festive by clicking here.
If you want my bitchy advice, please ask away in the comments section or email me at email@example.com. I will answer in a future blog post.
If you don’t want my bitchy advice, you might get it anyway.