I mentioned before how men and women don’t actually see a person when they first meet someone they are attracted to, and how you have to stand out. Getting to know each other is the best way to
ruin your fantasy see who that person really is. I’ve found that some people usually project their fantasy onto the person, and hope the person fits that bill. And then ride that fantasy until the person proves they can or cannot fit that bill.
How do you know when someone has ‘invented’ a connection to the fantasy of their new beau to the point of being delusional? When they move in/marry/ proclaim love/ use the word ‘ soulmates’ with someone whose last name they don’t even know. Meaning they just met two weeks ago. Or two days ago. They want the connection so bad that they are willing to fake it. Presto! They have the connection
without really having it. Whatever. It’s your imaginary love life. Just know that the other person is:
a) Just as delusional as you are.
b) Gonna take advantage of it for something they want. This could range from money to sex or just simple companionship, ego stroke, or attention while waiting for something better (and more real) to come along.
c) Thinking you’re delusional and needy and run the other way, fast.
You should have enough respect for yourself
and enough of a grip on reality to to take the time to get to know someone and see if there is a real connection there. See, as I’ve said before, real intimacy is two people getting to know each other for reals. (Which takes more than four interactions.) Not one person pretending the other is their true love and ignoring who the other really is until reality crushes their precious dream because they are so desperate to find that person. Now you find yourself in a Matrix like relationship, where on the surface things look great. But the stark reality is thatthere’s not much connection, compatibility, or intimacy is there.
I know you bitches all think that none of you are doing this, so let me spell it out. If you’ve only had a handful of interactions with someone and you KNOW that the rest of your lives will be skipping through the fields and laughing at anniversaries then you need to STOP!
Because no real relationship is ever like that. Stop before someone gets hurt. That person being you.
Why would anyone do this to themselves? You tell me.
I see the delusional as a benefit for me. Same with any shrewd person
or predator. So just know that when you lie to yourself, or let your ego distort your reality, you give the other person the opportunity to use it against you, and for their gain.
Is this the kind of person you want to end up with? Of course not. Is it the person you most likely will end up with? Yes. Until you drop the delusional and get honest.
Someone’s who’s honest with themself and what they really want is hard to take advantage of. If they know what they want and act accordingly, then you can’t offer them any substitutes! No smoke and mirros will work on them! Not for longer than one night anyway.
But when a person is delusional, you can half-ass give them what they want to get what you want. You don’t even have to do that much sometimes! You can just do lip service and never follow through! The delusionals will take that! It’s not even conscious sometimes!
Your delusion is giving you the fantasy connection that you want, or so you think. But it’s really an opening for others to get what they want from you. So how’s that working out for you?