I wanna talk a minute about those girls who try to fuck a guy into a relationship. I know Reema and the Narcissist has touched on this but I gotta put in my two cents. I have had one friend too many
whine tell me their tale of relationship woe and I’m sick of it!
This rarely, if ever, works. Why fuck a guy early on, and then complain that the guy isn’t interested in much else? Um, really? Is there any reason why he should be interested in anything else from you???
He had his fun. Hopefully you had yours too. But now you’re complaining and crying because you didn’t get what you wanted. I don’t know what shoddy, rickety logic you used in trying to ‘land’ that dude. I don’t get girls having sex with a dude, cooking, cleaning, giving him money, bending over backwards over a guy, without any indication from said dude of what he’s willing to give you. Please! Stop it!
Maybe it’s the
selfish opportunist dating extraordinaire in me, but there’s no way in hell I’m giving a dude anything until I know what the deal is first. Most guys will be up front about it. They’ll say, “I don’t want anything more.” They do this more for themsleves than for you. So when they screw you later, literally and figuratively, their conscious is clear and they can go on believing that they are trustworthy, upstanding men of the world.
Giving him everything you think he wants isn’t gonna get the dude to stick around. Do you really think that all that easy, fun-ness makes him want something else??? No! He wants more of the fun you are giving him. The same exact fun. Until it’s not fun (or convenient) anymore. And I know what you’re thinking: ‘Well, if I make things easy for him, give him what he wants, make him happy and feel taken care of then he’ll want to spend MORE time with me and he’ll eventually give me what I want. He’ll want to always be around me and never let me go.’
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That works for women, not with men. Men know better. You get what you want FIRST. Disappointment eliminated.
I always make sure the dude will deliver before I give anything. ANYTHING! Compliments, security, time, attention, sex, ANYTHING!!!! He will give me what I want first! I have an ex, to this day, that bitches that I never got him a single cupcake, even though I worked at a place that sold cupcakes and I could’ve gotten many of them, for free. (At that time he was being all casual, so no cupcakes for him! By the time he wanted to get serious, I had quit that job. So, still no cupcakes for him.)
And let’s face it. Men like to work for it. It’s like getting a scoobie treat after doing something good. It makes them feel all competent and manly. Like they’ve achieved something in life. It’s just part of their DNA.
I know what you’re reply is:‘ I don’t know if he’s gonna give me a relationship. I don’t know if he will stick around and I don’t want to scare him off. I have to do something! I have to give him something to stick around for! After he sees how great I am for him, then he’ll stick around, and he will eventually give me what I want…’
Um, if he’s not acting like boyfriend material before you start jumping through hoops, HE WON’T ACT LIKE IT AFTER. And look at all the time and energy you wasted. You don’t know? Aren’t sure? Be sure. If he’s trying to impress you and truly get to know you, that’s a start. Save yourself the heartache of setting yourself up for disappointment.
There will be some lam-o’s who say they want more as a line to get into your pants.
For example, I was dating this dude once. He did the relationship, wanting a girlfriend talk. He took me out. He was affectionate. He did the right things. Then he slipped. He completely flaked on me. Last minute flaked. No good excuse. And did nothing to make it up to me. Boyfriend material doesn’t flake. Boyfriends are there for you. He just showed himself. I knew then that it was all bullshit. I slept with him anyway but the point is, I wasn’t all disappointed and surprised when he dropped the boyfriend act and started acting all casual. And when the sex got boring, I dumped him. And I’m pretty sure he wasn’t heartbroken.
This is why your exes, jump-offs, one night stands, etc. keyed your cars. Cuz they catered to you expecting a relationship, showed you a good time and then got jack squat. Yes, I know you told them you weren’t gonna give them jack squat, but they were too busy trying to please you and earn your
approval love to hear. Please take note.