Lemme Get Mines, You’ll Get Yours

Published October 12, 2012 by bossymoksie

Sex is not the way to his heart ladies!

I wanna talk a minute about those girls who try to fuck a guy into a relationship. I know Reema and the Narcissist has touched on this but I gotta put in my two cents. I have had one friend too many whine tell me their tale of relationship woe and I’m sick of it!

This rarely, if ever, works. Why fuck a guy early on, and then complain that the guy isn’t interested in much else? Um, really? Is there any reason why he should be interested in anything else from you???

Want a relationship with me?

He had his fun. Hopefully you had yours too. But now you’re complaining and crying because you didn’t get what you wanted. I don’t know what shoddy, rickety logic you used in trying to ‘land’ that dude. I don’t get girls having sex with a dude, cooking, cleaning, giving him money, bending over backwards over a guy, without any indication from said dude of what he’s willing to give you. Please! Stop it!

Maybe it’s the selfish opportunist dating extraordinaire in me, but there’s no way in hell I’m giving a dude anything until I know what the deal is first. Most guys will be up front about it. They’ll say, “I don’t want anything more.” They do this more for themsleves than for you. So when they screw you later, literally and figuratively, their conscious is clear and they can go on believing that they are trustworthy, upstanding men of the world.

Giving him everything you think he wants isn’t gonna get the dude to stick around. Do you really think that all that easy, fun-ness makes him want something else??? No! He wants more of the fun you are giving him. The same exact fun. Until it’s not fun (or convenient) anymore. And I know what you’re thinking: ‘Well, if I make things easy for him, give him what he wants, make him happy and feel taken care of then he’ll want to spend MORE time with me and he’ll eventually give me what I want. He’ll want to always be around me and never let me go.’

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That works for women, not with men.  Men know better. You get what you want FIRST. Disappointment eliminated.

ME first!

I always make sure the dude will deliver before I give anything. ANYTHING! Compliments, security, time, attention, sex, ANYTHING!!!!  He will give me what I want first! I have an ex, to this day, that bitches that I never got him a single cupcake, even though I worked at a place that sold cupcakes and I could’ve gotten many of them, for free. (At that time he was being all casual, so no cupcakes for him! By the time he wanted to get serious, I had quit that job. So, still no cupcakes for him.)

And let’s face it. Men like to work for it. It’s like getting a scoobie treat after doing something good. It makes them feel all competent and manly. Like they’ve achieved something in life. It’s just part of their DNA.

I know what you’re reply is:‘ I don’t know if he’s gonna give me a relationship. I don’t know if he will stick around and I don’t want to scare him off. I have to do something! I have to give him something to stick around for! After he sees how great I am for him, then he’ll stick around, and he will eventually give me what I want…’

Um, if he’s not acting like boyfriend material before you start jumping through hoops, HE WON’T ACT LIKE IT AFTER. And look at all the time and energy you wasted. You don’t know? Aren’t sure? Be sure. If he’s trying to impress you and truly get to know you, that’s a start. Save yourself the heartache of setting yourself up for disappointment.

There will be some lam-o’s who say they want more as a line to get into your pants.

For example, I was dating this dude once.  He did the relationship, wanting a girlfriend talk. He took me out. He was affectionate. He did the right things. Then he slipped. He completely flaked on me. Last minute flaked. No good excuse. And did nothing to make it up to me. Boyfriend material doesn’t flake. Boyfriends are there for you. He just showed himself. I knew then that it was all bullshit. I slept with him anyway but the point is, I wasn’t all disappointed and surprised when he dropped the boyfriend act and started acting all casual. And when the sex got boring, I dumped him. And I’m pretty sure he wasn’t heartbroken.

P.S.- Guys

This is why your exes, jump-offs, one night stands, etc. keyed your cars. Cuz they catered to you expecting a relationship, showed you a good time and then got jack squat. Yes, I know you told them you weren’t gonna give them jack squat, but they were too busy trying to please you and earn your approval love to hear. Please take note.

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22 comments on “Lemme Get Mines, You’ll Get Yours

    • Hate to say it but some men ARE like dogs. You either have to a) train him because he doesn’t have a clue of what’s going on OR b) hit him on the nose with a rolled newspaper for being bad. If he wants it, he’s gonna have to work for the Scoobie Snack.

    • The scoobie snack line offended you? That’s cute!
      It was an anology for what I was trying to explain. It’s my experience that men are more appreciative and happy with things they earned, or feel they used some special skill to get. And that’s not exclusive to getting women, it’s with anything.
      But guys do flake out! Maybe not in the PUA community, you guys maybe take your game more seriously.

      • I’m not disagreeing with you on what men may appreciate more in this case. Just never heard of a guy standing a girl up before. There’s always exceptions, but it’s definitely not the norm that men flake. I’d presume that there must be a serious reason for a man to flake. Usually, women flake due to emotional reasons: nervous, anxious,etc. But men definitely don’t flake for those reasons.
        Sent from my BlackBerry® device

      • I’ve seen men flake and hear it from my friends! Maybe it’s not from being moody, but I think they do it because they don’t think highly of the girl, they know she won’t walk away or they don’t care if she does, and something better or more interesting came along at that time.
        Also, I remember one of your posts, about your favorite sweater- you said you had a date with a girl and you went to the door but wasn’t feeling right, so you left (flaked), and called and rescheduled…something like that?

      • No I don’t remember flaking in the truest sense. If I had a girl waiting on me @ the restaurant, no guy is gonna flake (at least not me). You’re more speaking of a guy flaking who had already been with you. Now I get the difference. I was referring to flaking on the 1st.date or first meet-up period. Men don’t flake when it’s a new chic he never smashed before. But if it’s a chic he already smashed or already dated/went out with, of course he’s gonna flake if he feels to.
        Sent from my BlackBerry® device

      • Yeah, I don’t recall any 1st date/meet flaking so I’ll agree with you on that. The guy I was talking about in my post, I hadn’t smashed yet, but we had been dating when he flaked. And he had no excuse at all and didn’t even try to reschedule, so he told me right there how ‘serious’ he was.

        But the girl in your ‘favorite sweater’ post, I think you were meeting up with her for the first time. But at least you rescheduled.

  • I loved your cupcake story. Many women do bend over backwards hoping men will change, and men get off easy (literally and figuratively) as a result. It’s something we need to recognize in ourselves and change.

    • That’s (one of) my point. Women should take more accountability for ending up in these situations. Sometimes you have a moment of weakness or you make a mistake. But over and over and over again?

  • My new line: “No cupcakes for you”. When I first started dating again I spoiled the first couple guys silly. Was a quick lesson in what not to do – Never give more than you receive when starting to date…..

  • It’s becoming clear that you’re like my female twin. Everything I say, you say. Everything you say, I say. Weird but true! Seriously, the sex card if the number one bargaining chip for women. Always use wisely. Also women should ONLY judge a man on how he treats you outside the bedroom. That should tell you everything you need to know about hope for a relationship. Yes, some guys will lie to you and tell you whatever you want to hear. You know a dirty mack when you meet one. You just need to know what to looks for.

    I’m all about being honest with the game but you still need to be tactful with it. You still need to know how to deal/talk to women so they know what the deal is. Women that just want to be one night stands/jumpoffs always stay that way and they are perfectly fine with that. It’s all about how you position yourself.

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