You Love Me For Me, Could You Be More Phony?

Published September 7, 2012 by bossymoksie

My friend met a dude a few months ago and they instantly hit it off. They talked about marriage and kids and where they wanted to settle down. This was in the first week of dating. A dream, right? Wrong.

Three months later they were done. He slowly stopped paying attention to her and she was phased out of his life. The sex haze was over. But what about all those future plans of forever and ever? What happened to that?

Lemme tell you something about guys who promise you shit they think you wanna hear the world in the first few convsersations/meetings. You should runaway as fast as you can. Because they are one of three things:

One: Desperate and needy. Two: Desperate and horny. Three: Desperate and on a deadline to bed the next human girl they come in contact with or else his alien friends will demolish the planet Earth because they are bored and it’s a Friday night.

Let’s address the first two because if the third option is actually true, we’re all just fucked anyway.

One: Desperate and needy. These dudes are emotional vampires. They are always around…to get on your nerves. You will get all the attention you ever wanted. And even more attention that you never wanted. And then you have to give it in return. That job you have, fuck it. That’s not important. Friends? They don’t need you as much as he does. Hobbies? He wants in to ruin them. Family? You didn’t get along with them anyway right? The world revolves around him and anything you say or do that may suggest otherwise, you know like have a real life of your own, sends him into a depressed end of the world state that only your constant time and attention can heal. Ugh, lets move on. This dude is a waste of time.

Two: They are desperate and horny. These are just guys trying to get laid. Could be players. Could not be. Either way, this is just his way of getting some. His ‘game’ so to speak. What I don’t get is how women buy that a dude wants to spend the rest of his life with you after meeting you for 2 seconds.  HE DOESN’T FUCKING KNOW YOU. One of two things are going on.

One: You are arrogant like I am. So naturally when a dude trips all over himself and wants to spend the rest of his life kissing your ass, you believe it. It’s expected. Except that you aren’t as impressed by it when it happens because it happens so often. You are entitled to it. I’m thinking it’s more because-

Two: Your self-esteem is hurting. It’s hurting so much that you are willing to believe that this total stranger loves and accepts your complete being. He doesn’t even need to know who you really are, he just loves you and thinks you’re the best thing that ever happened. And you want this so badly, that you decide that you love him too, even though you don’t even know his last name or whether or not his hobby is killing puppies in his backyard.

This I don’t get. Because your mom, or some family member equivalent, has been telling you how amazing you are your entire life. But, no you don’t believe her. Too much bias. Your besties have been telling you this since you’ve known them. But fuck those bitches. They’re required to say that. You will only believe how awesome you are if Steve at the bar tells you, 15 minutes after meeting (and after a drink or two). That’s the only time you will believe! Him or the hot guy at Starbucks. That’s it! Anyone else who dares call you amazing or beautiful are lying bitches who deserve to go to hell with their insincere compliments and ulterior motives. You will only believe it if it comes from a guy you are attracted to, because he is completely objective and automatically knowledgable about all things that are you.

I take whatever men say in the beginning with a grain of salt followed by a good margarita. Instead I pay attention to their behavior. They don’t know me. How could they know how awesome I am? They can’t. They are not Yoda. They are just dudes.

If he is saying he wants to get to know you, but then is trying to push you into the bedroom, then you know what’s up.

Here’s what I hear guys really are saying in the first few encounters.


Let’s go back to my/your place and watch a movie/have coffee/whatever other bs scenario = Let’s have sex.

I want to get to know you better = I want to get to know you better in bed.

Let’s have kids = Let’s have sex.

Your outfit is amazing = Your outfit would look amazing on my floor while we’re having sex.

You’re amazing = You are amazing but I can tell you don’t know that so I will say it in hopes of sleeping with you, hopefully tonight.

You have pretty eyes = Your tits are great but I’m trying real hard to keep looking in your eye so that you think I am a good guy and want to sleep with me, hopefully tonight.

And for the truly dense:

I want to have sex with you = I want to have sex with you.


31 comments on “You Love Me For Me, Could You Be More Phony?

  • “Let’s go back to my/your place and watch a movie/have coffee/whatever other bs scenario = Let’s have sex.” <– love that one because it sooo happened to me earlier this week when the 1/2 Asian guy tried to make 2nd date plans.

      • Smeh. I prefer the direct method so I usually use the line “Hey you wanna come over and get naked?”. Guys need to stop pretending they want “someone special” when they really want sometime for tonight!

  • Well, this is very true. I just do not understand men at all ! Wish there was a “man dictionary” so I knew what the hell they really mean, it’s like trying to decipher Morse code when speaking. Do they even hear women talk or just see T&A when they look at a woman?

    Where are all the nice men?

    • Men are easier than women. They just want to feel useful, get laid and have peace and quiet. And that is a broad generalization, but also a start. There’s nothing wrong with wanting sex, I just like to complain about how they try to get it sometimes. I’m starting to learn that they do this because they don’t know what else to do, or how to get what they want in a less hurtful way.
      But if you ever want to know what a man really means, just pay attention to his behavior.

    • LOL. I’m not even trying to diss men. Realistically, the only thing he knows about you when he first sees you is 1) he likes what he sees and 2) he wants to have sex with you. And those are the only reasons why he is approaching you to find out more about you (and what his chances are in getting some).

      • What you mean? The girl whom you’re talking about in this post and scenario,where had her mother or sisters told her a certain thing,she would not have gotten it. But if a guy said it,she would buy it. You don’t understand your own article?
        Sent from my BlackBerry® device

    • @SocialKenny –
      a) We are not irrational
      b) We are the dominate species
      c) It is proven men think about sex most of their lives. How they will get sex, the act of sex, or how they will get the person next to them out of their bed after sex.
      d) If Men could just be honest from the beginning and just say, “hey, all I want is sex from you,” we woman would be happy, just to have the honestly.

      Women hate games. We would rather have the truth than for our feelings to be toyed with, for sex. Some women only want sex too, so if men would tell the truth from the get-go, both needs could be met, with zero complications.

      Honesty – problem solved.

    • Ha ha, you mean when they believe the bs a guy says even though there’s no way it could be true?
      I don’t know about being irrational (and I think we’ve argued about this before) but I do think women like to lie and delude themselves sometimes.

    • Men WILL say anything to get laid that is not a lie it is a fact! That does not mean women will fall for it . What it means is, it is qauite annoying to be feed total and complete bullshit on a constent basis. What women want is a man that speaks from his heart with honesty. If he is not into her then do not feed her a line of bullshit that will eventually end up hurting someone in the future and blowup in his face.

      • I can’t argue with your point. Men will say anything to get laid.
        As far as ppl being hurt,you do realize that men and women have to,and will go through many heartaches before actually finding a guy-girl who doesn’t hurt them?
        Sent from my BlackBerry® device

      • I agree, there are guys who will say anything. And there will be girls who will fall for it and get hurt. It is annoying to have bs constantly thrown at you which is why I like to fuck with them sometimes to amuse myself.
        I like what Kenny says about it though, it is a process and there will always be that handful of awesome guys that are straight with you and really do love who you are. After they’ve gotten to know you of course.

  • I agree of course with both of you. I just did not agree with women being irrational . That emotion comes out after being lied to and then realizing you were just lied to. Then we learn to be on guard, thats not irrational, its like a child learning not to touch fire or else you will get burned.

  • I think it depends on the stage of the man’s life. If he’s in his early player stage, he will say and do anything to sleep with as much women as possible. That’s something he will grow out off. That’s like highschool/college game. As a grown man (I’m 27), I know the value of my seed so I’m not just lying to women to have sex with them or just having sex with random women. I did all that shit already. You MUST always respect the game!

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