Ask a Bitch!

Published September 1, 2012 by bossymoksie

May-December romance

Where I answer your questions about love, life and hairy situations (question in bold):

I stumbled across your blog in the “Humor” section of wordpress today and after reading several posts I decided that I love it! Haha well let’s see if you can answer something for me…

 
As of yesterday, I have been dating my boyfriend for one year. He is my first serious relationship (random hook ups, and unexclusive flings what I thought were relationships before him, etc…). I’m 22 he is 32. The age difference doesn’t bother me but I just hate the fact that he still lives at home with his overbearing/brain-washing [Italian] mother. If he doesn’t move out by December of this year I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m stuck with a crappy ass part time job at the moment so me moving out on my own isn’t going to happen any time soon and we need our privacy! WTF should I do about this?
 
I love him yes, but little things have been annoying me about the guy (he’s forgetful, doesn’t really take care of himself exercise-wise, and unmotivated to move out…). Also, he didn’t get me a gift for our anniversary. Just a box of 4 chocolates that he pulled out of a CVS bag infront of me yesterday. It seems selfish of me to get mad at but kind of upset me. But I didn’t say anything.
 
I think I feel this way because he’s my first relationship and I have all these expectations about what relationships are supposed to be like [thanks to my friends and cousins who all have boyfriends], and I have kind of been “let down.” Any bitchy/nonbitchy advice? Take your time but it would be nice to know.
 

Aaah, the first love. Men get away with so much shit as our first loves don’t they? Because we have nothing to compare them to, and we don’t know what the hell is going on or what to do about it. And we don’t wanna let that ‘love’ go.

You mean your cousin’s and friend’s boyfriends who, I assume, treats them well and remembers their anniversary and has a fucking place of their own and a life? Those high expectations? If having high expectations makes you a selfish bitch, then it’s time to embrace your inner bitchdom. And embrace it for life, or else you will have continued heartache and disappointment. Your call.

Don’t even get me started on the age difference. Obviously he doesn’t want to grow up,  get his own domain, be a man and handle his business. He’s quite content with letting mommy tell him what to do and dating 20 year olds who will over look that mess. Age ain’t nuthin but a number, but experience (that comes with age) is something worth considering. You’re still learning. And he should know fucking better by now.

If being so casual and not thoughtful about your anniversary isn’t important to you, then that was a little thing. But if it was important to you, then it was a BIG THING and he fucked up. Too much time has passed for you to comment on that with him now.

If you don’t want to be at his mommy’s house, then don’t go and let him know why. If you keep going over there, then he thinks that you’re okay with it. See if he tries to get a place and step up. Besides, nothing says ‘I love you’ like telling a bitch to grow up, which he needs to do pronto. Sometimes guys need a swift kick in the ass to get going. Sometimes they need a swift kick in the ass on your way out the door. Only you can determine which one your beau, and more importantly, YOU, needs.

What is with the December cutoff? Is this when he says he will move out or are you waiting to see if the 2012 Mayan apocalypse ends humanity so that you won’t have to deal with it? Just curious.

And how are you selfish for wanting a more appreciative anniversary gift? You need to accept that you do deserve better than some last-minute CVS candy. Women do this all the time. Do you think he’s sitting around thinking about how selfish it is of him to sit up in his momma’s house, or how he got you 4 chocolates last minute as an afterthought? Do you think he’s sitting around fretting about that? Didn’t think so. Why should you? He’s glad you took it and didn’t complain, because you didn’t, did you?

Annoying things: every man is gonna do something annoying. Because unfortunately, nobody’s perfect. Again, how do some of these ‘little things’ make you feel? Listen to yourself. You were ‘let down’ by this experience, so is this really an experience you want to hold onto and continue with? If they are really big things don’t undersell them. The house is definitely a deal-breaker for you.

Please refer to my These Boots Were Made For Walking and Relationship Feel-O-Meter posts. Your answer was already in your question: You don’t want to put up with this anymore.

If you are dating an older man (ten years +), he better have money, property, a job and teach you a few things in life and/or the bedroom, otherwise stick closer to your own age. Older men who date younger women are always trying to get over on them. It’s how it is!

If you want my bitchy advice, please ask away in the comments section or email me at bossymoksie@gmail.com. I will answer in a future blog post.

If you don’t want my bitchy advice, you might get it anyway.

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8 comments on “Ask a Bitch!

  • She’s backwards in the game dating a broke older dude. That’s definitely not a good look. She needs to charge this dude to the game immediately. At 22, she’s in her prime years. Don’t waste it on this guy. Choose up on a better dude. Also, I don’t think older men who date younger women are always trying to get over on them. Me personally, I will always date younger women. A man’s stock will only get better as he gets older. With some game, a 45 year old man can still pull 22 year old dimes.

    • Of course 45 year olds can pull girls in their 20’s! I’ve seen 60 year olds (rich ones) do it too! I’m just saying if a dude is a decade or more older than you, he better have more to offer than just sex and companionship. I’ve found that older dudes who date much younger don’t want to, or can’t, step up to the plate in relationships and that’s why they date younger, cuz they know they can get by with some bullshit.

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