The Talk

Published August 8, 2012 by bossymoksie

Will you go steady with me?

Lemme just start out by saying that I don’t believe in initiating ‘the talk’ with men. I know it goes against every dating advice article/book/conversation you’ve ever heard. You know which ‘talk’ I’m talking about. The dreaded relationship talk. And I hate ‘the talk’ maybe as much, if not more, than guys do.

If I like a guy and want to know where we are, I act single. Because essentially, that’s what I am. I don’t rub it in his face, but when I’m not waiting around for him or not available on a Friday or Saturday night, they do start to figure out what they really want from me.

I NEVER ask where we are.  I hear my friends talking about it and they sound so pathetic and helpless and whiny that I want to break up with them as friends. I get it. You like him. You want him to want you. And only you. But whining about it isn’t going to help. It’s not effective either. And I’ve seen enough to know that a guy will initiate the talk or let you know when he’s ready to ‘go steady’. I really don’t like to do it because A) it feels like nagging and nagging makes me feel like a mousy frumpy nobody wallflower who cries in the corner and is helpless and at the mercy of someone else. I don’t do those feelings, that’s not happening, so I won’t be bringing it up. I’m a rockstar and rockstars don’t chase or beg, they just rock. B) I would rather die a thousand deaths by frizziness then ever admit to the guy that I like him, before he admits he likes me. Some people call it game playing. Some people call it immature. Some people call it a bitch. Go right on ahead and call it whatever you like because I’m not budging. If I like a guy a lot, I may throw tantrums and pout, I may act and react, but I will never SAY IT OUT LOUD. I WILL NEVER ADMIT IT! I WILL TAKE IT TO MY GRAVE!!!! And if I start feeling like I want more from the relationship, I will LOOK ELSEWHERE, or go to a spa or shopping or anything something to feel better.That information is on a need to know basis and he doesn’t need to know. EVER. Usually they can tell by the way I behave, which is fine, but I just won’t say it.

Anyway, so the talk happened between the guy I’m dating and myself this weekend. And it went something like this:
“Are you seeing other guys?”
I replied with the most mature response I could come up with. “Are you?!”
The maturity continued with his response. “I asked you first.”
“No.” And I was obviously lying. I’m usually better at lying but I was caught off guard and already losing with my defensive reaction. So I might be texting and hanging out with other guys plus other things. So what. So what???
“I don’t think we should be seeing other people.”
“Whatever you say.” I replied.
That was the talk.

35 comments on “The Talk

  • This post is hilarious. You have some sense of humor. I love this theme and the colors. It suits you.

    I put you on my blogroll with a funny description.

    Love the new style. Sounds like the talks I had with people I was dating prior to marriage. If there wasn’t a ring on my finger, I assumed that meant I could date other people. True?

    No ring = can date others

      • @BossyMoksie – Yea, why is it that when a girl does it we are a slut? If a man does it they are “cool.”

        Unfair! Unfair I say! Why is it woman are still not aloud to enjoy sex in America? Ridunculous, yes I spelled it that way on purpose.

        I think about sex perhaps more than most men.

      • Yeah, not a fan of slut shaming. Not that we should be walking around with chaps and cleavage 24/7, but why is it a big naughty secret that women enjoy sex too?

      • Liz, men and women are made up differently. You can still enjoy sex, it’s just not cool to be playing musical dicks. That will leave you with physical and emotional baggage. I really don’t think some women know the seriousness behind this. Collecting different dicks isn’t impressive. Anyone can do that.

      • True, any girl can just sleep around. Dudes will always be down for that! And I know a lot of girls who say they are cool with friends with benefits and stuff like that but then they go crazy.

  • Well as a woman with skills in seduction and dating,I can see you not wanting to initiate “the talk”.However,as you’d know,most women initiate that talk and pry at a relationship.

    But I really can’t give advice here since you got Game.

  • Reblogged this on Love, Life and Relationships and commented:
    Um, I love this blogger! If a woman doesn’t know where she is then guess what she is no where. You should never have to ask but shall you find yourself wondering… take another attitude like bossymoksie- act single!! lol

  • I love this post so much I had to reblog it on my page…you will get credit. But anyway like I said… A woman shouldn’t have to guess where she is at and if you do then I can answer that you are no where. Because when a man wants you exclusively he will make that clear. I am so like you when it comes to not showing my hand so to speak…My motto is keep’em guessing! LOL!

  • @Liz-Put it this way,yes it’s a double standard,but why should a girl wanna be hailed as cool to be promiscuous?

    Men were created to be promiscuous beings.Our duty as a man is to sleep with as much women we can as possible.Not just for sleeping around sake,but to impregnate them.But of course it’s not a cool thing to impregnate every womanto then leave them.

    Point is;men were biologically created to be whores.This is Biblical and Godly.All the prophets of the Bible had wives,2-3 wives,yet women they were banging on the side(Abraham with Sarah and Hagar).

    However,biologically,it’s NOT prudent not wise for a chic to sleep around,since she wasn’t created for that purpose.She was created for 1 mate- 1 man.Thus the reason for menopause and women being out of commission for 9 months of pregnancy.She has biological limitations.

    A man can produce sperm and impregnate women for his entire life until he dies(which could be 90 years old).

    So ponder that.It makes sense.

    • Kenny! I don’t 100% agree with you. BUT, I do feel like women have the burden of responsibility of being the gatekeepers of the pussy. Only because biologically we are the ones that have to carry babies and deal with all that mess where men can just walk away. Also it’s easier for women to catch sexual diseases, while it’s easier for men to be just carriers. These are my two big fears!!! I always joke that for women, sex can mean life or death!

      • The risk is as deadly for a man also. Having sex with the wrong women can mess your whole life up. Men can’t just walk away! Men have the same risk as women when it comes to kids. Your check can definitely garnished and you can go to jail if you don’t pay child support. As far as disease, that’s also something men have the same risk. Bottom line just choose correctly

      • Yes, men do have risks, and I have seen women fuck some shit up for guys with drama. But I’ve seen way more men with the ability to walk away from their kids whereas most women can’t or won’t. I’ve known guys who purposefully won’t get jobs or work under the table, even giving fake SSN (off by one number) just to avoid paying their baby mama’s! But you’re right, the bottom line is both sexes need to choose correctly.

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