I don’t like chasing guys. I’m pretty used to them chasing me
no matter how lame they are, so it’s not something I have to worry about or do. But the subject does come up with my friends as they contemplate chasing dick down their next boyfriend.
I don’t believe in that because:
A) If the guy is too shy or inexperienced to come after me, he won’t know what to do with me once he gets me, which isn’t fun
for me. I’m not trying to be the training wheels for somebody. I’m not going to sit here and wait for you to figure out how you’re gonna treat me. Make a decision and go with it. It doesn’t guarantee success, but doing nothing definitely equals failure!
Nothing’s worse than being with a guy on a date who can’t speak, is twitching, and can hardly even eat. It makes me feel like I’m some alien cyborg about to torture you and your whole family before destroying the planet Earth. I’m not a freak. Just a hot chick. Also, it’s boring watching you try to get the nerve to say ONE FULL SENTENCE to me. wtf. Or you verbally vomiting for two hours
while I try to get as drunk as possible just so I can stand being in the same room as you. You shouldn’t even be allowed in public.
Even when they can at least carry a conversation, they don’t know when to make a move or how. I could be lying there stark naked and legs open and they’re still like, ‘uh, so you want to do it now?’. Who has time for that? Isn’t that why you asked me the fuck out in the first place!!!! Now you got questions like you’re not sure what is going down right now? Pass.
B) When you chase guys, you never know how they feel about you. Usually I can tell by their actions, but if I’m being the aggressor and doing 90% of the work and he’s just going with it, then I can never know how he feels
and how much power I have. You would think a power tripper like me would LOVE to take control and tell him what the hell to do every second. But it’s actually not as interesting or as powerful as it sounds.
Once I had a HUGE crush on a guy and I asked him out and set everything up. He was cute, funny, and sweet. He just sat back and took whatever I gave him. So while I blah blah blah’d about the most interesting things in life, I had no idea whether or not he liked me or how much. And I didn’t like it. What fun is it to torture a guy with hair care talk if you don’t know whether he’s paying attention to said torture
or pretending to because he likes you so much??? I had a great time on the date, but I would have had an equally great time with a cardboard cutout picture of Matt Bomer. I could basically just drag him around in a relationship like a rag doll, but I’ll leave that to the Kanye Wests’ and Christina Aguileras’ of the world. After the date, I waited for him to contact me and chase after me. He didn’t. Fucker. I ran into him months later and he said I had dumped him. But in reality, he doesn’t got it like that I had only stopped chasing. I was tired of doing everything, and he got lazy and used to it. And that shit gets tired especially in the bedroom.
C) I’ve seen many a friend chase and nab her man. And he went along with it. Until he met someone he wanted to chase, reanimated himself and dumped my friend at the curb. And then they are all confused. She did everything, why would he want to leave? Because he was just a placeholder for you, and you were one for him! And I’d seriously rather have a relationship with a cutout cardboard picture of Matthew Bomer than be in a relationship with fucking placeholder.