So there was a time in my life last year where life was a crazy confusing, alcoholic mess. My friend situation was shaky, my man situation was, well always the same, and the money situation was out of control. I needed a moment of clarity. So I went to the park to look at the grass and contemplate life
like they do in the movies
Instead I just daydreamed about fruity drinks and accidentally running into Harry Shum Jr. at a friends party or something. My reverie was interrupted when a fine young gentleman approached me, basketball in hand. He introduced himself, lets call him BBall, and wondered what I was doing there
staring into space. He was playing basketball with his friends and noticed me, of course, so he came over to say hi. We exchanged numbers.
The next night, he calls me. And we’re talking and flirting, when he says, “I’ve gotta put you on hold.” Then puts me on hold. Okay. Is this bitch at work?
When he returns, I ask, “Are you at work?”
“Yeah. I work the night shift. It’s really slow here though.”
Okay…this doesn’t sit well with me. You cannot even call me on your free time, you have to wait until you are at work and bored as fuck and get me out of the way like you are paying a bill or doing some chore
like researching that professional hair dryer you always wanted??? Like I’m just another check on your fucking to do list?! But I continue the conversation. Well, I try to because then he interrupts me.
“I have to put you on hold again.”
Oh, HELL NAW!
Now we are getting off the phone because I am not the one to be sitting here on hold for your ass while YOU’RE AT WORK. I could be doing something else right now. I didn’t get off an IM chat with my friend who was telling me a juicy story while reading celebrity gossip just so that your ass could PUT ME ON HOLD all night. I’m important and got important shit to do, and you are not respecting that.
Why even bother to call me? That’s right, I’m just a convenient toy that you can put on hold as you please. I don’t think so. This is our first phone call, and I should have your undivided attention. You can’t even attempt to give me that now, I know you never will
especially when I am talking shaving tactics and sharing my friend’s juicy stories. I’m obviously not even important enough to get a REAL phone call from you, I already know how unimportant I will be if I continue interacting with you even after you get what you want.
When he returns, this time he was gone a bit longer, I tell him, “Maybe you should call me back at a more convenient time.”
“What? No I never really get that many calls here.”
“Well, I don’t like being put on hold, so we should continue this when you get out of work.”
“It’s not that big a deal. Really, I won’t get anymore calls”, he insists.
“I’m busy, call me later.”
“So it’s like that?”
Then there’s a beep. “Wait, hold on,” he says.
“Bye!” I hang up.
He never called back. Ever.
I learned an important lesson in the park that day. Sitting around and pondering the things of life is a waste of time. Nothing was resolved. Instead, just go out there, be awesome, and show the world who’s boss. Also, getting picked up at the park is no different then getting picked up at the club. And I’d rather be clubbing.