Where I answer your questions about love, life and hairy situations (questions in bold):
How do you get out of the friendzone?
Date someone else. She/he has to see you as someone dateworthy. The only way they’ll see that is if you date someone else and they see their endorsement. I know. Fucked up. If she/he doesn’t care, she/he was never interested. If she/he is, then now you’ve got 2 peeps on your jock!
What do you think of online dating?
I don’t like it. I know it’s judgemental bitchy, but I think people are on there for a reason. And I don’t want to know that reason. They guys are usually very self-centered or super shy and don’t know what the f*ck to do. Or they want to get married yesterday. Not for me. A few of my friends have gotten boyfriends from it while others have sworn off dating for
life the next few weeks. But if there’s a drought in your city, I guess it’s another tool. Just see it as a way to have fun experiences and get your “I’m the bomb!” mojo on.
I am dating a drop dead gorgeous and sexy girl. Problem is, she knows it and loves the attention. One of my friends asked me for her number after I introduced them at a party, which is weird, right? He gave some bullshit excuse. I asked my girlfriend if it was okay and she didn’t want him to have her number. Good. But then the next weekend we got into a fight and suddenly the guy is calling me and threatening me saying how badly I treat her??? She swears she didn’t talk to him or say anything like that to him. What happened?
That guy is not your friend
and is probably really ugly since he flipped on you after a pretty girl smiled at him merely because they were in the same room. He will never have your back, in fact you will probably need to watch yours now. Also, your girlfriend’s an attention whore. Good for her. Not good for you.
Sorry to bother you again. But I do need clarification. What if he doesn’t realize how much I like him and then I just disappear? I don’t want it to not work out because he doesn’t know how I feel.
Bitch! Then come out and say I really like you and want to be your girlfriend. Anything other than yes means leave him alone! Please don’t tell me you already slept with that bitch again. No really, don’t email me tellin me that.
I am in a long distance relationship and everything seems to be going perfect. We text and talk on the phone everyday. I think he could be the one! But I’m not sure if he feels the same about me. How could I find out without seeming pushy? My only complaint is that we’ve only seen each other 3 times in 6 months. I would move halfway around the world for him! He is the light of my life!
It’s not real until you see that mofo EVERYDAY. After that, then decide whether the star, sun and moon still revolve around him. My guess, probably not. Probably more warts than roses. My suggestion is to get a LOT more visitations in before running away with
your imagination him. There’s a reason he’s doing the long distance thing and not dating someone in his own state. What’s yours?
If you move, do it at your own
If you want my bitchy advice, please ask away in the comments section or email me at email@example.com. I will answer in a future blog post.