Where I answer your questions about love, life and hairy, awkward, difficult, uncomfortable, lousy, unacceptable situations (questions in bold):
Me too, Megan! Me. too.
I was dating this guy and everything seemed great, until he asked me to be friends?! SO confused. I know he’s attracted to me because we’ve had sex. What happened?
What happened is that he doesn’t want to be your boyfriend or have a real relationship with you. Instead of promoting you to girlfriend or demoting you to ignore status, he’s just decided to keep things friendly
since he still would like to have sex with you. Do what you will with that info.
My friend thinks her boyfriend is cheating on her. She wants to stake out his place on a weekend when he says he’s busy. She wants me to join her. What should I do?
Bring on the chocolate, popcorn, macaroni and cheese, and Adele CDs! Because that ish is boring as hell! Also make sure you wear yo fightin clothes just in case a Jerry Springer situation happens.
My girlfriend is needy and jealous. She checks my phone and emails all the time. And if I change the passwords, we just fight. I am not seeing anyone else. I might flirt but she’s the one I want to be with. How can I get her to not worry about it?
You’re screwed. She’s always gonna worry about it. You could be in solitary confinement in a philippine jail and she’d still worry about side action.
I’m dating a girl who loves to dance. I don’t. She keeps hinting at going to clubs to dance and I keep avoiding it. What can I do?
It’s not the skillz sometimes, it’s the delivery. Fake it til you make it. Or she’ll start avoiding you.
I met a guy online and he seems really great! We have compatible astrological signs, he’s a record producer and loves music, as do I. He’s from Europe and has a British accent, which I think is sexy. He’s funny and smart- I can tell from his emails. He is the man of my dreams! But it’s been two months now and every time we make arrangements to meet, something always comes up! How can I get him to meet with me?
He’s your dream guy BECAUSE you haven’t met yet. Thank the Lord for small favors. But if you insist, give him a pussy-or-your-money-back-gaurantee. If that doesn’t work he is married & can’t escape (see above re: needy girlfriend), or really is a figment of your imagination.
If you want my bitchy advice, please ask away in the comments section or email me at email@example.com. I will answer in a future blog post.
If you don’t want my bitchy advice, you might get it anyway.