So once it was spread throughout the land that I was leaving Cali, everyone wanted to take me out. I don’t even remember the last few weeks because I was drinking and partying so much. Really took the sting off the leaving and saying goodbye. Now that I think about it, I may not have even said that…
Anyway, one dude in particular wanted to take me out on a date. We had always been friends and hung out various times, but nothing ever happened. I knew he was into me but for some reason he didn’t make a move. Which was fine because I wasn’t really into him. For whatever reason though
I was really, really drunk, that night he looked good and charming and I thought, ‘maybe, I’d do him’ Well he must have picked up on it because he finally made a move near the end of the night and kissed me. Just pulled me to him and kissed me. And I kissed him back. It was a long fuckin kiss. Like an hour of kissing. It was really good too. At some point I pulled away and asked.
“Why did you wait until a week before I was leaving to do this?”
“Because, I’ve always had a thing for you and I didn’t want you to leave without knowing.”
For a second, I thought this was some rom-com shit that I could reminisce about in my old age to my grandkids who are tryin to ignore my senile ass. The second passed.
“Um, you’re ass shoulda told me sooner! We coulda been dating! We could have been fucking this whole time, now we only gotta a week?!”
“Well we could still-“
“Hell no! If it’s good then I’m gonna be mad that I gotta go. And if it’s bad I’ll be even more angry. You dick!”
“What did I do?”
“You shoulda did this on my time! My time! Not yours! Now what am I supposed to do with this information?”
Then we made out. On top of my car.
“Let’s go to my place.” He says eventually.
“No!” I kicked him as he pulled back.
“That’s what you get for waiting until the last minute.”
Then I left.
I can only conclude that he waited until the last minute so that he could hit it and quit it, and I wasn’t gonna fall for that! I decide when I want to hit and quit it. I’m the one in charge! Dudes, if you like a girl please don’t wait until the last minute. That only works in romantic comedies. And if you just wanted to fuck her and not deal with her temper, then that’s ingenious.