So I hate my brothers. I miss them now that they stayed in Cali. But we hated each other when we lived under the same roof. They complained about how my hair shedding in the shower looked like I killed five puppies. They complained about how I would tattle on them when I didn’t get my way. They complained how I would get more
gifts hand me downs from mom because I was the only girl, (until lil sis accidentally came along). But the one time we would cross enemy lines was to give each other dating advice. They didn’t mind givin me advice cuz they didn’t want to see their sister get played. And then have to hear some dude brag about it.
Once in high school, there was this annoying dude who liked me. He was mainly annoying because I wasn’t attracted to him and he was very persistent. So I approached my brothers. I thought that naturally, because I was hot, that if I dressed down and wore a fugly outfit with no make-up for a week, he would fall out of
lust love with me. I pitched this idea to brother #3, who told me that would never work.
“Why not?” I asked, skeptical. My plan was brilliant!
“Because once a guy’s into you, he always thinks you’re beautiful.”
Awww. Ain’t that sweet?
“Even if you wear highwaters and you’ve got muffin tops?” I asked.
“Even if you don’t pluck your eyebrows for two months?”
“Even if your arm and one of your ears got bitten off by a shark? “
“Get outta my face.”
The point being that it’s nice to know that when I guy is into you, he will always think you are attractive. Don’t forget it ladies! This is a nugget of golden truth! No matter how many times you’ve thrown silverware at him, or fussed him out, or stolen his CD’s, he will always think you are beautiful! Even if he still dumps you.