50 Shades of Kinky F#^*%@y!

Published May 18, 2012 by bossymoksie

I’ve been hearin a lot about this book called “50 Shades of Grey”, and I’m sure every person on this planet has heard of it now. How it’s about a young girl who becomes a ‘submissive’ to a rich dude and lives happily ever after. And the media is latching onto the BDSM, the spanking and kinky fuckery, as it’s called in the book. Time Magazine is even calling Feminisim movement into question, since women are lovin a book where a woman gets dominated and spanked. “The Today Show” had Dr. Drew on there who said he was ‘concerned’ for the state of women to be so hooked on a book about a young girl becoming a submissive and that the book condoned violence against women.

Here’s an article tearing apart Dr. Drew’s credibility on this subject if you’re interested.

http://www.thefrisky.com/2012-03-14/dr-drew-is-mansplaining-your-sexual-desires-for-you-50-shades-of-grey-fans/

Which makes me wonder. Did any of these media bitches read the book? I did, cuz after hearing/seeing the headline, I decided that I needed to read it and join the haterade. It was based on some Twilight fan fic called MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE and I knew that shit was fiction just from the title. Cuz we all know who run this. Hint: not dudes.

And um, this was more “Pretty Woman” with kinky sex (and lots of it!) than “Twilight” with kinky sex. The lead female, Ana, doesn’t even become a submissive, in fact, he ends up pretty much pussy whipped (not literally) by the second book. She runnin things. They end up getting married (no prenup btw) and having kids and living in a JCrew ad by the end of the third book. So she turns a rich, hot as fuck, billionaire who was into dominating and bdsm,and could have any woman he wants, into a PG-13 loving husband and father? Um, now do you understand the real fantasy here that women are hooked on? (Hint: it’s not the paddle or whip, which was barely even used fyi). How has the media missed this? What kind of crackpot news industry do we have that makes sweeping generalizations without doing their fuckin research? Why aren’t they advertising the REAL storyline? (easy, cuz sex sells.) And why are they so shocked that women have sexual fantasies too? Men have strip clubs and porn and fuckin sex dolls, but women get hot over one book and feminism as a whole gets questioned? WTF?

The sex scenes are hot, but ultimately most women love that an ungettable unicorn became putty in some unremarkable girl’s hand. That’s what they were really getting off to. Master of the universe is really us ya’ll and the book confirmed it! (That’s why I loved it.) And for any girl with an ego and loves power trippin, this is the ultimate goal. Like for the dude to get that hot woman who is also a brilliant scientist and loves comics and sports to commit to him and be a complete freak in the bedroom (and love him too). It’s a fantasy. Calm down.

PS- Dear Kirsten Stewart, How weird is it that some middle-aged mom got off writing this book about you and your boyfriend?

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9 comments on “50 Shades of Kinky F#^*%@y!

  • hahaha I completely agree. The first book is tolerable, but the other two are a joke. The writing is beyond horrible, the sex is every one page, there is NO PLOT besides the sex, and he makes 100, 000 AN HOUR!?!?!?! How is that even humanly possible? In reality, he would have sex with her, then dump her. The end. And to be honest, that would be a better and more realistic ending than the ridiculous spiel that we are being fed.
    Enough said:)

  • Ultimately women must have sex for a reason. No woman can truly forgive herself for just wanting to have sex. There must be an exoneration that comes with the ecstasy, or else she will perceive herself as a lesser being, and pursue the ecstasy further, only to delay the the reckoning, but the reckoning comes … it always comes.

      • Consider this :

        Rasputin’s first recognized appearance among Orthodox Churchmen was at a Siberian Academy of Theology. He was in a discussion with a group of seminarians when their teacher and the academy’s rector Father Feofan entered the room unnoticed. The seminarians had already recognized how easily Rasputin grasped the Holy Scriptures while they toiled over their books studying their meanings.

        Soon, with all the students eagerly listening, Father Feofan and Rasputin were discussing sin. Father Feofan mentioned that Rasputin had said that “sin is indispensable before God.” Then the priest inquired how could that be when the Savior and the saints of the Orthodox Church had denounced sin as the Devil’s work.

        Rasputin replied, addressing the priest as “little father,” our Savior and the church fathers did denounce sin as being the work of the Evil One, but, Rasputin went on to ask, how can sin be erased without sincere repentance? And, sincere repentance only comes after one has sinned.

        Rasputin paused a minute and then continued in a thundering voice of an angered peasant to say :

        “Take away your Scriptures and your useless pondering over them. Accept life as it is, as God gave it to us. Stop worrying about where sin comes from, and how many prayers a man must say to escape it, or how long he must fast. Sin, and then you can truly repent. But, if after doing all these things sin still lurks in your heart, prayers do no good. You still remain a hypocrite. The filth must be gotten rid of. “…do you hear, little father? Only then will your savour be well pleasing to the Lord.”

        Father Feofan did not reply immediately, he seemed to be gathering strength to make a reply. His seminarians silently watched him. His reply did not come though. He tried making one, but when seeing Rasputin he stumbled, he seemed only to repeat himself, his sentences were disconnected. He became dizzy, Rasputin’s eyes seemed the only fixed points around him. The other man’s words seemed to thunder down on him, making his body tremble.

        When the priest regained his composure Rasputin did not appear to be the horrible monster that he just had seemed to be. The priest was hearing him say, “Yes, little father, that is correct, you speak the truth.”

        And Rasputin hit the salon-circuit of St Petersburg with a storm. His message to the men and the women, especially the women … (oh yes BM, especially the women, he was a great womanizer after all) was essentially this :

        You’re sinners. And to stop sinning, you must sin a lot more. For only then will your prayers for forgiveness be genuine.

        The women lapped it up. He could organize orgies with no problem.

        As this conversation demonstrates :

        One of the few who rejected his advances was asked by a friend, “How can one refuse anything to a saint?” “Does a saint need sinful love?” she replied. Her friend said :

        “He makes everything that comes near him holy. I have already belonged to him, and I am proud and happy to have done so.”

        “But you’re married ! What does your husband say ?”

        “He considers it a very great honor. If Rasputin desires a woman we all think it a blessing and a distinction, our husbands as well as ourselves.”

        And if you know your history BM, you’d know that he ended up influencing the Tsar and his wife.

        You’re right though, BM, everybody has sex for a reason, but for a woman that reason had better be something that sounds eerily like Rasputin’s ramblings.

        “You’re a bad girl. And it’s ok to be a bad girl. So let yourself go. You need to let yourself go. I don’t judge you; because you’re also a good person.”

        … and then somewhere in her mind, that woman can say the sweetest words to herself as she undresses.

        ” … it’s not my fault … and it’s for a good cause …”

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