Clones are Lame

Published May 17, 2012 by bossymoksie

Cloning actually looks cool here though.

This isn’t an article on science you fuckin nerd. This is about relationships. But if you are a nerd, and your best friend is a computer and your hand, you should probably stick around for a pointer or two. Because you’re probably alone and awkward as hell with the opposite sex. (I’ll try to be technical as possible, which is not at all.) I know the title is misleading. Deal.

I was chattin up a guy- really it was the other way around- at the gas station yesterday. And the subject came to America’s favorite pastime for dudes: sports. I am not a sports fan. Don’t hate it, don’t love it. Just doesn’t come up in my radar. Until some dude brings it up.

Disclaimer: everything I know from sports I learned from friends, google, movies, and TV. I still get baseball/basketball/football teams mixed up. Guess what. Don’t care. Guess why. Still don’t care.

Dear Men of the World- when trying to chat up a hot chick, or any chick, you should be asking about HER interests and try to find common ground from there. Not the other way around. I am not gonna feign interest in a subject I could give a fuck about just for five more minutes of your attention. You have seen me right? You do know that I could easily shoot the breeze with someone else. With anyone else.

Also, this just shows me that the main thing on your mind is you and what you want and need, when you really need to be thinking about me and mines. (Especially where it really counts, in the bedroom.) I need to be in a constant state of interest and excitement and if I’m already thinking about a power nap upon first meeting you, then that is not a good sign!

Back to this dude. After seeing my bored and blank face after saying whatever he had to say about sports, he then does the ingenious, completely refreshing, and sexy move of trying to make me feel like a freak for not knowing, or caring, anything about football. Or was it baseball?…. Racquetball??? Like it’s so weird we don’t’ like the same things.

I’m not the freak. You’re just boring and this is the only subject you can talk about that you can muster up some passion for. Reality check, I am a separate person, not the female, hotter clone of you. I have my own passions and interests (which are me, myself, and I). It doesn’t work that way dumbass. Clones are lame.

As much as I’d like to talk skincare products and regimes with you for three hours, I’m smart enough to know that won’t seduce you. Unless you’re really needy.Or gay. Intimacy, fake or real, isn’t about finding someone exactly like you. (Unless you really, really like yourself as much as I like myself). If that’s what you want then stay at home with your hand and online porn. Intimacy and getting close is about two separate, different fuckers learnin about each other, and maybe learning a thing or two about life. As long as it’s not about sports.

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